Open Weekend Post: Rob’s “mom” wears jorts

Dear Rob,

First off, I must apologize to you. I watched the paparazzi video of you in Malibu, but in my own defense, I was researching an article about you having a car accident and I only watched the video out of concern for you. It made me sick. But then I got to wondering why I felt so nauseous, and I came up with a few reasons for my reaction and I would like to share those with you:

A. The video was so abusive to you by the paparazzi that I was appalled.
B. You actually went to the cinema with an older woman that was wearing jorts.
C. Kristen isn’t paying enough attention to you since she’s off filming her new movie, and you knew of course how she hates the pap’s, so you planned an altercation so that you could get some Kristen sympathy.
D. Your agent is trying to create press for your new movies. OR
E. You just wanted some cougar touch.

Which lead me to these conclusions:

A. The pap’s are sleazy a-holes and should be horsewhipped. That’s how we handle sleazy a-holes in Texas. You should come hangout here with me. We could have an interesting time whipping Paps. We could start a P&M club. I’ve even got the whip…and the handcuffs, and the slutty black dominatrix outfit, the thigh high black patent leather boots….Oh sorry I got sidtracked for a minute.
B. You just wanted some touch from an older lady. Which I can totally understand. Everybody knows that older women are better lovers. (Refer to exibit A of this section for proof)
But….if the cougar is wearing jorts, no makeup and is not doing anything with her hair, then she isn’t into you. Sorry. If you’re yearning for some hot cougar stuff, contact UC & Moon- they have my info. Seriously. Everyone, even strangers, tells me I look like Liz Taylor in that movie Cougar On A Hot Tin Roof…no sorry that was Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. Imagine Liz in all the stuff I mentioned in section A…………..Again, Moon & UC have my contact info.
C. Kristen, please call Rob. He’s reaching out in the most pathetic way.
D. Surely you would have already fired an agent that is that stupid.
E. I refer you back to B of the reaction section. Again, Moon & UC have my contact info.

After sorting all of this out in my mind, I decided that the Paps really were being mean to you. I can’t tell you how impressed I am that you took a stand. (We’re all about taking stands in Texas, you know with the Alamo and all.) You kept your composure and behaved like a gentleman, (by the way Thanks Mom Pattinson for rearing such a fine young man.) Even when that lame woman leaned in your car window and offered you no help whatsoever, you were still nice to her. Even when the cops didn’t do anything to help you, you were still nice.

You can call me Claudia

Here’s what I think, from now on before you go out again, call your sisters and ask them if you can borrow some of those clothes that they used to dress you up as a girl. Borrow that Bella wig from Kristen and carry the Dadcase, no scratch the Dadcase, too obvious- get yourself a 1988 Ford LTD to drive around town, and don’t forget to borrow that bra from the set of Remember Me that didn’t work as a vanity patch. You’re gonna need to stuff it and make you some boobs. That way no one will recognize you except for me, and I love my man in drag. Of course it may be a little bit embarrassing arriving to a party dressed that way, but I think after the last Paparazzi invasion, people will understand.

LOL and YeeHaw!
Your lonely sex kitten…
Your everlasting older woman lover….no
Debbie does Dallas….closer
Let’s just go with P&M Mamma

Check out the picture of Stephanie & Robt from RPLife which has one of those hard-coded titles from the company that owns the rights- and it is titled “Rob Pattinson & his Mom” Poor Stephanie!!

After the jump, a Saturday Delight!

You wouldn’t think I’d let a Saturday go by without a delicious new video of Rob, do you!?

and I’m going to talk about my campaign “While Moon was Gone” the ENTIRE time Moon is gone.. SO you might as well play along now!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

53 Responses to “Open Weekend Post: Rob’s “mom” wears jorts”

  1. robgirl86 says:

    “Rob Pattinson & his mom” 🙁

    I truly still feel sorry for Stephenie, THAT must hurt, ouch!

    The LA paps were ASSHOLES , so Rob escaped to a place called Chiccamauga , now instead of paps the fandom is there, waiting again…
    anyway the press there amazed me, he was seriously on the NEWS or so, then I saw some blurry pic yesterday and today

    He ate an ICE-CREAM!

    Oh my……

  2. misty says:

    That manip of Rob in a dress w/ clown make-up is Wrong. The End.

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: It’s time for a NEW LTR: Open Weekend Post: Rob’s “mom” wears jorts – […]

  4. dazzledtodeath says:

    Rob, PLEASE do a film where you’re in drag. You already know how to do the tuck-the rest is easy. Just like I loved seeing you kiss a boy, I have this obsession with seeing you in drag. Maybe you could play a trannie hooker-that would kill two birds with one stone. TomStu could play your john.

  5. Robsessedgirl says:

    That manip makes me sad. the end. Someone at my school actually put it in my mailbox(at my school each student has their own). Everyone knows about my obsession though I’m extremely proud of it. Anywhoozies nice blog! I’d like to see Rob in some leather AND eating ice cream at the same time. One other thing, if I went to the movies with him you can bet yoooo balls I’d be wearing makeup AND NO JORTS. I love that video I put it on facebook and it’s my morning status. Also I thought I’d share that my last name on facebook is now Pattinson. Normal? D:

  6. undecidedsten says:

    only just read about the paparazzi stand off now #fanfail
    the video just made me love him more, how can someone be so mad and so polite at the same time!!
    and when he couldn’t get the car to start awww. poor rob.

  7. The Old One says:

    I knew that was not Claire because what self-respecting Barnes mum would go out in public wearing jorts! No offense to Stephanie Ritz, it’s fine for her and to be expected as a resident of Malibu, it’s just two different cultures.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      So true! And Clare would go the extra mile and put on a little makeup and do something with her hair! Especially, if she knows there’s a chance she’d get papped!

  8. Robsessedgirl says:

    So I searched for my Rob issue of GQ for forever and found it today. I reread the interview and am dededed. First off, he saw a bj being done in a parking lot? hardcore. then from the description of a scene in Little Ashes(Javier having furious sexytime in a corner to make Dali mad, Dali sadly masturbates in the same room) has anyone seen it? I wonder if it’s good. I LOVE THAT INTERVIEW SO MUCH.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Oh Rob, and your ablity to make funny little comments so quick! Don’t want to burst your bubble, but he most likely did NOT see that! As for Little Ashes, I’ve seen it. It’s a good movie and shows Rob’s a wonderful actor! But, I’m not really into that whole guy on guy thing. None the less, I’ve decided that I would rather watch him kiss another guy than watch him with Kristen! I think it hits just too close to home!

      • Robsessedgirl says:

        yeah ew just ew to Robsten. I’m still in denial. He’s too gorgeous to be with that mess. He probably didn’t see it but it is funny. I almost rented Little Ashes today but Robsessed and HP:Goblet Of Fire were calling my name. I’ll have to rent it soon. I don’t really like guy/guy but any Rob action is good action!

        • robsfuturemate says:

          I tried to rent it but we don’t have many video rentals around here anymore. It wasn’t at redbox and I don’t do netflix, so I just had to BUY it! It’s a good movie once you get past the initial shock. And Robsten, I just don’t like to dwell on that fact!

          • Robsessedgirl says:

            I’d see it just to see Rob in a rowboat with those shorts on! & yeah no to robsten just NO. He’s supposed to be with us remember? our weeks should start soon.

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Yeah, I’m hoping he’s coming back to LA after his little weekend jaunt. I’m going to see the 100 Monkeys again this Friday, so I’m working on that! Hopefully the paps didn’t scare him to bad the other day! He needs to come out and enjoy some good music!!

          • Robsessedgirl says:

            Ok some comments disappeared.

          • Robsessedgirl says:

            Nevermind I guess my laptop is malfunctioning. I am so jealous you get to see Jackson twice! You need to take pictures! I wish you could put them in a comment.

    • The Old One says:

      Robsessedgirl, Little Ashes isn’t the greatest movie in the world, but it definitely shows that Rob is willing to put it out there for the sake of the role and the movie. Dali was a fascinating, kind of demented artist, as well as a kind of a sad loner, and I think Rob portrays that really well. Not to mention Javier Beltran is excellent as Garcia Lorca, and that is also a sad history of a creative person. The movie shows one moment in their lives when they both were at the beginning of their careers, full of creativity, excitement, zeal for political change, and love. A nice little film.

      • Robsessedgirl says:

        Yeah I really want to watch it! I’ll watch anything that Rob is in, but this sounds like a really good movie! I tried to find it online but couldn’t. I’ll rent it. I’m excited to watch it.

      • robsfuturemate says:

        @TOO, you’re comments are always so wisely written! It just got me thinking…is it because of your name or would I think that anyway?! Thanks for passing on your little pearls of wisdom and thought!

        • robsfuturemate says:

          oops! “your” I feel like that episode of Friends where Ross is explaining the difference b/t “your” and “you’re”! Must proof read better!

        • The Old One says:

          Thanks, robsfuturemate. It’s so nice to have this place where I can obsess about all things Rob with others who might be actually interested and want to share insights and opinions. Not to mention snark. My ancient and decrepit friends in RL would shake their shaggy gray heads if they only knew!

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Definitely! My RL friends shake their heads at me because I became a Puma for Rob!! LTR is a nice place to be!

          • TOO your ancient decreipt friends story reminds me of some gargantuesque Rob stories that he didn’t seem to have exagerated at all, not at all.

            Robsfuturemate, don’t believe everything you see, TOO is not as old as she likes to say. PLus it’s verified, people her age with her kind of hip job look at least 10 years younger.

          • drsaka says:

            MP- agreed! I want that to apply to me too.

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Thanks for the heads up, MP! I should’ve known on a Rob site, lol! I want that kinda job! I don’t know if mine makes me look younger, but def ACT younger!

  9. southernbelle says:

    Ahhh, I need brain bleach to get rid of the photo of Rob wearing all that make up and a pink dress! LOL

    I love the idea of disguises! I may have fantasized him having a disguise to see me. Shameless on my part I know.

    Dear Rob,

    Sorry I’ve been MIA but I never stop thinking of you. You know if you want some cougar touch, how about calling me? How much older do you want, I’m not much older than you, still older though. Aren’t you over in TN right now? I’m just a couple hours away(KY). I’ll git on over there asap if you tell me, LOL. Or you can come visit me. No one’s gonna bother you here.


    Btw that was sweet of you to see a movie w/ your

  10. I feel there’s an anti jorts, messy hair no make-up conspirancy, so Imma retire to my appartments (read I’m busy).

    • robsfuturemate says:

      @MP, it’s totes fine to wear jorts, have messy hair and no makeup, the Shrew does it all the time. It’s just not okay when you’re Rob’s “mom”!

    • Robsessedgirl says:

      SO……JEALOUS! Just a minute ago I was checking ROBsessed and this girl who works at a store got to shake his hand and talked with him for five minutes. I WANT TO MEET HIM. *le sigh*

      • RoslynSelene says:

        I know, right?!
        Which inspired me to listen to ‘Haven’t Met You Yet’ by Michael Buble.
        I’ve had many chances to meet him (Ecl Premiere @ Nokia Theater, Fillmore[meeting was being held there], UCLA, Venice Beach, Malibu, Linda Vista Hospital[in front of a park near my old school]) but no such luck.
        It’ll happen some day!
        …Once ‘Luck’ takes me off its ‘Hate’ list.

        • robsfuturemate says:

          @RoslynSelene, this makes me so sad because I actually went to the open casting call for this movie! That was supposed to be ME!!!! So jealous! But, if it’s meant to be our time will come. I went down to the Fillmore set and 100 Monkeys show but no such luck for me yet! Maybe, we’ll meet EACH OTHER!! lol

          • RoslynSelene says:

            *hugs* We should start a support group for people who were THISCLOSTOMEETINGHIM…but never met him.
            Yes…most definitely!
            There’s more probability we’ll meet each other on the failed attempts in meeting Rob.

          • robsfuturemate says:

            I’ll be on the lookout for you! And Moon, I think we might be able to meet her! And since she’s seen Rob so many times, maybe we’ll meet them both! *hugs back*

          • RoslynSelene says:

            We should hunt down Moon so that she can rub off some RobLuck on us. We’ve been missing the point the WHOLE time! Bhahaha

  11. Lula says:

    This has totally inspired me to watch Debbie Does Dallas at the beach next week. With UC.

Leave a Reply

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License

LTR Privacy Policy

Sponsored by