Robert is #5 on the freebie f@!K list! Only number 5…

You're gonna need a cigarette after these ladies are done with you

Dear Rob,

We’ve talked about ‘the freebie list’ a lot around here. You know the list that couples have of people they could sleep with and it’d be ok because that person is on the list? Well Some site polled a bunch of bored ladies at home and work and the results are in. You’re… (drum roll please)… number 5 (crickets). Yea, looks like you’re not everyone’s cup of tea but you did beat out the Fresh Prince AND Ashton Kutcher. By a measly 3% but I choose to believe these ladies were either high on toliet bowl cleaner fumes or entertaining their inner Demi. I mean Ashton Kutcher? You should have beat him by like 100’s of percentage points. He made the trucker hat infamous.

1. Brad Pitt – 69% – I guess ladies like to think of hot, humanitarian, father of 234929347234, meet Joe Black, Brad Pitt and not Benjamin Buttons baby Brad Pitt. To each his own I guess.

2. Johnny Depp – 67% – Well DUH. Who doesn’t like pirates with questionable personal hygiene?

3. Gerard Butler – 66% – Have you SEEN that picture of Gerard giving Jennifer Aniston “the shocker” from the Bounty Hunter premiere? I think you ladies might want to rethink this one since Gerard seems to be into the no go zone.

4. David Beckham – 63% – As long as he didn’t speak.

5. Robert Pattinson – 61% – As long as he brought Tom Stu along…

6. Ashton Kutcher – 58% – For reals?

7. George Clooney – 57% – How the HALE isn’t he number 1? Or number everything?

8. Justin Timberlake – 54% – All my wildest high school fantasies come true with JT

9. Will Smith – 52% – I’d be too worried about Tom Cruise showing up “unannounced” for a little personal one on one “e-meter reading” to follow through with this one.

10. Hugh Jackman – 51% – More Wolverine less Boy from Oz.

Even the CLOONSTER didn't beat me?

When you can compete with the likes of REAL men like the Clooney, the Pitt (ew, the pitt?) and The Depp  you know you’ve arrived. Or maybe you know that your PR team is on their shit. Or maybe you just know that Stephanie Ritz’s assistant was ordered to vote 23942390472354 times or until their laptop exploded to get you to number one all by themselves. Since you landed at #5, clearly the assistant was fired. Should have bribed the Robsteners with an “exclusive photo” (read: Rob and Kristen in their Bella and Edward costumes with a fireplace in the background.) to insure that Rob won. Amateur.

Next time Rob, next time! Like they say… Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. REAL stars. Heh.

Where’s Rob on your freebie list? Who’s ON your freebie list? Ashton Kutcher? 😉

Read it over at Robert Pattinson Life but can’t find a permalink to the original post

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

87 Responses to “Robert is #5 on the freebie f@!K list! Only number 5…”

  1. dazzledtodeath says:

    What a travesty! You’re no.1 on mine honey. And 2, 3,4, and 5.

  2. drsaka says:

    Number one to infinity on my list.
    {though I’m single and don’t need a freebie-list, just Rob’s cooperation}

  3. Well Rob you’re my no 1 on every list.

    Best Jaw
    Best tongue
    Best lips
    Best wonky legs
    Best ‘saucy’ sense of humour

    What did I miss?

  4. I don’t have a freebie list. I’m free. For…ahem… knowledge’sake.

    P.S. I will never, I repeat never understand all that charisma/smexiness of G Clooney, B Pitt and ‘best ever’ D. Beckham (“when he doesn’t speak” mwhahaha) Johnny Depp on the other hand…..

    P.S.S. You know this 5th place accident can only be b/c Twi-hards were in a Robsten coma after the MOANreal pics or I dunno, meybeh too many fanfic updates all of the sudden, bad timing! I think they’re now banging their heads against the walls under the weight of failure responsibility.

    • robgirl86 says:

      here…def.NO Clooney and Pitt….
      seriously..I never had a celeb crush like on Rob, he’s my first and he’ll be my last!
      the end!

    • mine!mine!mine! says:

      Helloooooooooo Lovely Ladies,

      I have been sooooooooooo good for at least the last two months (maybe even more) but I did myself in today and had a look at some pics of thepretty on Robsessed (first time in a light age) and I’m sucked back in….arghhhhhh.

      He’s the only one on my list, can’t imagine anyone else taking that place….EVER!!!! (and I’ve tried so hard to forget him).

      Also….what’s this ‘MOANreal pics’ MP? I’ve obviously missed loads over the last couple of months….so can someone fill me in (if there’s time 🙂


      • TWO months without Robp0rn? Blasphemy!

        I’d take the liberty to explain MOANtreal pics. Rob and mulletphant in Montreal, K-I-S….oh you know the rest.

        I swear I’m not in the 3rd grade.

        • mine!mine!mine! says:

          Really! what real pictures of them really kissing…with tongues????? ewww…I’ve just lost my rob love again 🙁

          • Pap photos. It was so blurry you couldn’t even see their lips, let alone tongues. A Nonsten would interpret it as head bumping. A Robsten would think it was a full blown make-out sesh. Depends on a fan’s perspective, really.

            HOWEVER the funniest part was TomStu looking on as R and K did whatever they were doing. Like a peeping…Tom!

            Don’t let go of your Roblove yet! He’s too precious to be lost over something like this.

          • drsaka says:

            Really good synopsis, RSMS.

          • Hermes says:

            @MineX3- They were set up pics.
            Though TomStu pic was hilar.

      • pukesten says:

        2 months without rob, respect!!
        you really don’t want to know what happened in moantreal, it’s a lot more difficult to swim in denial these days.

        • Hermes says:

          I’m betting on the bromance.
          Robstene smells too much like a hollywood PR stunt that’s been done before, i.e. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. -(does anyone believe that??).

          • Maggie says:

            If Rob’s happy, I’m happy. But, I agree. Something seems off about this whole thing. I always feel like I’m trying to fit a square peg in a round hole when I try to make this seem like it’s a fit.

      • enviro says:

        Actually my favorite was not the “kissing” pic but the nuzzling going on on the OTR set. So cute. The drama played out as follows:

        — KS photographed in Montreal with TS — kerfluffle! What is HE doing there??? Where is Rob???? Defensive “well he’s probably there to keep an eye on KS for Rob” attitude from Robsten crowd.
        — It emerges that TS actually has a role on OTR. Collective sigh of relief in the Robsten crowd. 🙂
        — Rob arrives in Montreal. As Jaypat said on, Ha!
        — Cute pics (if highly invasive) come out. Team Roblor (which had gained members after TCA) very disappointed.

  5. Edible Art ? says:

    Well sorry but that picture of Gerard Butler is the most shocking thing I have seen today !!! – I’m no prude I read a bit ( by a bit I mean A LOT) of fanfiction but really doing that to jen in public that’s not nice is it ??

    And really Pitt and Depp above Rob – boring !!! they are all really old now and verging on past it – only the Cloonster has still got it IMO !!

  6. robgirl86 says:

    Rob! Only Rob!

  7. superhumanmoron says:

    Rob and Orlando top my list. I’ll take any hot British man, really. And since Johnny can pull off a decent English accent, he counts too. 🙂

  8. dazzledtodeath says:

    How did Gerard Butler even get on that list, let alone beat George Clooney?? The only other two I would even entertain the idea of doing are Clooney and of course Johnny Depp.

    Were they doing drug experiments on this same group of women? Only logical conclusion.

    • Keisha says:

      Oh honey, Rob and Gerard are my top 2!!!!
      I can’t stand Johnny Depp, I’m fuckjealous of Brad Pitt for tappin Angelina, and I just want to have some scotch with George Clooney- I think he’d be a riot!
      If I had to be in Jennifer Aniston’s presence for a whole PR tour I would make rude gestures behind her back too.
      Sorry lots of my hate came out today. Let the down-thumbs begin.

  9. kandnandb says:

    Rob’s 1, 2 & 3. And if I had any energy left, 4 would be Caleb & Jared Followill (together) and 5 is Leo. But with some protein bars & RedBull, I would make it work.

    That’s a bit of an odd list IMO, Brad Pitt #1? Where was Matt Damon? Zac Efron? Justin Bieber? (kidding, kidding!)

  10. Jess says:

    I cannot believe Clooney isn’t number 1.
    Brad Pitt? Really?

    Personally, I’d add Ryan Gosling to the list.
    Fellow Canadian. Super hot.
    Yep. He’s my pick.

  11. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    Dear Rob, yes, it could happen.
    You were no.1 on my list, but then I saw Nowhere Boy and now me and my RL friend are exchanging Aaron Johnson’s photos/files as well, not just yours, and Wentworth Milller came out of hiding, promoting that Evil-something-movie-part-14, and I’m watching last season of Smallville and my old love for Tom Welling resurfaced, and Chace is coming back to TV this fall…. so I’m a little slutty at the moment and not just into you exclusively.
    You know what I’m saying, Rob, don’t you? You have to come out of hiding and do something great, look hot, read another amazing book in public, …anything.
    Love, Me

    PS What’s wrong with Ashton? He’s hot, he’s smart, he’s annoying at times, that’s true, but as long as you don’t read his tweets , he’s hot!!

  12. robsfuturemate says:

    I have a “list” for out in public, although right now I don’t need a list. Ashton, Bradley Cooper, Jude Law are all on the public list, oh and Rob of course. BUT, and that is a big but, on the private list is ONLY ROB!!! I settle for no one else!!

  13. ICanHandleIt says:

    Best wonky nipple. Just sayin’.

  14. Alice_NaA says:

    #2, right after Clive Owen

  15. robgirl86 says:

    for logical reasons Rob should be the LAST person on every public list, cause….you know, would proof that the line is really short = WIN WIN!

  16. nellie says:

    Of course I have a list. Any redblooded woman who says she doesn’t have a list is NOT telling the truth. My list is short. My husband is aware of the list and is (understandably) blissfully confident that his need to worry about it is non existant. He does know that on the off off off off off off off chance that the opportunity for me to tick anyone off my list were to come to pass , he would need to step to the side calmly. My list consists of only 2 names. Only for these two individuals would I expect my dear, dear husband to turn a blind eye… Rob. You are my number one by a very large margin. Leo, if I had to chose between you and Robert, Bar would have nothing to worry about, but still, as it is such a SHORT list, you should still feel honored.

  17. JennB33 says:

    My list is 1: Rob. Just Rob. Although if he and the Clooney and the Pitt were all in a room together, there would be a mess on my hands (and in my pants….). Throw in my girl-crushes of Angelina and Nigella and I would literally implode.

  18. Maggie says:

    My list:

    1. Robert Pattinson

    The end.

  19. pumagirlsf says:

    For a while it was Rob, only Rob and no one but Rob. However, while it’s still Rob, it’s Rob with four others. Not at the same time! God, what do you take me for?? (Heh.)

    In no particular order:

    Me, Rob & Tom, anytime anywhere. Even in a Burger King bathroom.

    Me, Rob & Jon Hamm, as Don Draper. It’d be a 60’s scene. Rob would wear the Gucci from the Eclipse premiere and Jon Hamm would be in his Draper best. And then I would die.

    Me, Rob & Iker Casillas locker room post-football sex.

    Me, Rob & Yoann Gourcuff. Go Google him. Now. I’ll wait… ok, see? amirite?

    And last but in no way least:

    Me, Rob and Chuck Bass. Not Ed Westwick. Chuck MFing Bass. I don’t even have to qualify this one… just wait for it to happen, because it totally will.

    • robgirl86 says:

      Iker Casillas = 🙂
      Yoann G.(googled) = 🙂 🙂

      but but but…..Rob has THAT CERTAIN SOMETHING…

    • enviro says:

      Really — how can you respect one of (public) these lists that doesn’t have Jon Hamm on it at this point? Who DID they poll to get this with Brad at the top and no Jon Hamm? Or Jude Law or Ryan Reynolds by the way. Please — this thing is just ridiculous.

  20. My list:
    1. Robert Pattinson
    2. Rob Pattinson
    3. RPattz
    4. Spunk Ransom
    5. Edward Cullen

    What?? Is that not what you meant??

    Fine if Edward doesn’t count…
    5. Zac Efron (hey don’t judge me)

  21. Gaby Yglesias says:

    Please, Rob you are the number one on my list, and I dont give a damn if my husband care, I am not going to ask for his permission.
    And I can add to this list, Jude Law, Joaquin Phoenix (I dont care if is one step to the shrink), and Robert Downey Junior, he is like a good Wine, he is better now than ever.

  22. wannaeffrob says:

    Rob IS my list. The entire list, I organize it by position.

  23. shinegirl says:

    I have not been checking the site because of the break, but it looks like Rob has insired you a lot lately!

    First, the David Beckham comment is so spot on! He is fine as hell, but that VOICE! Ugh, squeaky cockney is not attractive.

    So my list is as follows:

    1. Mr. Pattleson
    2. Mr. Skarsgard
    3. Mr. Westwick
    4. Jake Ryan from 16 candles. I have no clue what he looks like now, but I was so in love when I was 8.

  24. jessica marie cullen says:

    Sorry, Rob… my first love Johnny Depp beat you out for #1… but you’re still my #2, followed by Kate Beckinsale at #3 (shared by me & the RL boyfriend… I told him she can only be on his list if we share her… and she wears her outfit from the Underworld trilogy to which I have an exact replica counterpart outfit… so I’m a little bit of an obsessive nerd, sue me.)

    Also on the list: #4. James Franco (preferably as the friendly neighborhood pot dealer in Pineapple Express, but I’d take him any way I can get him), #5. Billy Idol (circa 80’s when he wasn’t old with pasty makeup), #6. Matt Dillon (once again, circa 80’s), and #7. Tom Welling (circa 90’s… I have a problem with fantasizing about men in the past tense, don’t I?)

    The boyfriend approves of all of the above EXCEPT (sadly) you and Billy Idol. He just doesn’t get the whole British men thing. His loss.

    • jessica marie cullen says:

      On the upside, my boyfriend looks like a mix of a young Johnny Depp and James Franco, with a hint of young Freddie Prinze Jr. and a large dose of 100% Italian… Needless to say, I adore him. And make lots of women (and some gay men, true story) VERY jealous.

  25. southernbelle says:

    OoOh I love this post! I’m shocked that Rob’s not the number 1 though! What? Why? Lol. Are they blind?

    Let’s see my freebie list, there’s about 2 guys. Robert Pattinson is number 1 of course and the second is Jared Padalecki(Sam in Supernatural). I have had a crush on Jared since his days in Gilmore Girls! He was my number one before Rob came along, before Rob took my breathe away!

    I can’t wait to read what others have posted haha!

  26. JenlovesRob says:

    Okay, okay I admit it. I still harbor some lingering lust for George & Brad (c’mon the Thelma & Louise abs!) but Rob has become my obsession!

    Until I found Rob I didn’t do a daily internet search for news on a celebrity, stalk the web for new Rob porn, join online discussion groups to robsess over beautiful naughty British boys or make Mullephant voodoo dolls (JK on that one).

    Rob holds a special place in my heart & certain lady parts he may be allergic to..

  27. theseviolentdelights says:

    #1 is a tie between Ren Tsuruga (fictional manga character) and Rob.

  28. MC says:

    Even my husband knows, Rob is definitely #1 (& all other numbers) on my freebie f@!K list! lol

  29. Cath says:

    My list:

    1) Robert Pattinson

    And my other secret famout bf whose name I can’t write down yet…
    First name starts with an E! Hahahaha, and it’s not Edward!!!

    But really??? Gerard Butler?!? EW. Ashton. EW.

    Johnny Depp I can understand. But maybe when he was a few years younger. Brad Pitt only as he was in Legends of the Fall.

    But then again:


  30. Stacey says:

    First, Rob is the first on my list. However, I am boy crazy so here it is:

    1. Rob (of course)
    2. A certain man from the Vampire Diaries I might talk about ALOT
    3. Matthew Morrison (GLEE!)
    4. Johnathan Rhys Meyers
    5. Hot Alex
    6. Seth Green

    Now this is 6 out of a list of 20. #i’measywithmycelebritycrushes

    Unfortunately, SGjr. doesn’t like this. He, however, can have the the triple threat of Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. Not fair.

  31. roslynselene says:

    1) Robert Thomas Pattinson
    and the rest, I don’t really care for.

    OT: I was watching Will & Grace last night and noticed Oregano plays the son of Jack(I LOOOOVE him! My fav gay guy ever). Weird, cause I never noticed Oregano before. Now, I’ll have to be reminded of the flippy-middle-finger-girl. Booo!

  32. mlbuchina says:

    Number One: Rob

    However, since I am quite a few years older than him, that feels a little creepy, so…

    Number Two: David Boreanaz (I have two very smexy pics of him that I would love to share, but have no idea how. Oh, well.)

  33. pukesten says:

    1 Rob obvs
    2 Brandon Flowers (minus the beard. and the eyeliner)
    3 Johhny Depp (in younger days)
    4 Jared Leto (i will always love Jordan Catalano)
    5 Colin Farrell (before he fell off the wagon and then cleaned
    himself up and got boring)

  34. Alex says:

    Rob was/is/will be the only one for me. I love his personality.

    and this childish smile. He must love animals. Cant wait for this.

  35. Debbie says:

    I don’t even remember who was on my list anymore, it’s all about Rob now. sigh. Brad Pitt used to be on there at one time, but it would be Legends of the Fall Brad or Interview w/a Vampire Brad. Now Rob is 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Hmm, maybe I’ll throw Jackson on the list. Yeah, Jackson would make a good addition.

  36. Hermes says:

    I’m suprised that Rob’s hair wasnt named no#1 on the list! –(yes I’m the one that added the addendum —
    “as long as he brought TomStu along).
    TomStu my little cupcake 🙂

    -Gerard Butler is a P.I.G.
    -Depp only bathes 4 times a year to coincide with the 4 seasons.
    -Beckham is a mimbo (a male bimbo).
    -Clooney… yeah, he’d tie for first place (along with Rob’s hair.

  37. Hermes says:

    @mineX3; gone 2 mos. oye! You missed the Rob &TomStu piggyback ride photo’s earlier this week.

  38. enviro says:

    Pfft, where did this come from? What a joke. Then again I have never paid much attention to any other actor, so maybe my perspective is just a leeeetle bit off. 🙂 Anyway he is just head and shoulders more attractive than any of these jokers.

    I don’t know what the official position of LTR is on Lainey Gossip (some twi-hards just HATE her but she is coming around to Rob), but she has a standing freebie 5 list — her own and her readers’ voted pics. Rob has been at the top of that one since I started checking the site (Eclipse reshoots time).

    I always wonder what he thinks of this kind of thing. I suspect he disdains it but maybe it is good for his standing in the industry to have a high rank? I have wondered about this since the travesty of last year’s People SMA issue, when he was not only not the SMA (which, obviously, he is — apart from Mr. enviro of course) but was relegated to some vampire sidebar. Grrrrrr.

  39. Tankergirl says:

    Rob is obviously top of my list, which is only 2 deep anyways. My husband & I long ago established The Gyllenhaal Clause. He for Maggie & me for Jake. I haven’t renegotiated to squeeze Rob in on the top, but really, does it matter? Who of us wouldn’t break any agreement, law, or heart, to get us some o’ that?!

Leave a Reply

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License

LTR Privacy Policy

Sponsored by