Meet Rob in Nawlins
It’s been awhile since “you” have answered your fanmail and the bag is over-flowing…. Andddddd go!
SUBJECT: ..could you help me?
well, I´m so …”tired”, I have no idea how can I contact by email, phone or…?.. with Rob. I don´t need his photos, his videos, his notice about his private life.. only I want to hear his voice, I can explain myself : I ´m working in a music shop and when I´m watching a movie, I pay special attention in the music then, in twilight , when I heard “never think” It was difficult no stop to look for the singer but with “let me sign” , was necessary to stop and take information about him. I´m a fan of Tom Waits, and his voice made me feel that this person likes him too. I like deep voices even his friends Marcus Foster and Bobby Long have two special songs but.. I mean.. in Rob is like, for me , of course, when he sings …. “he is himself, no a mask”.
I beg you, please, give him this email.
I hate scream… I hate when the paparazzis oppress him, it´s something to afraid of.
I´m from Spain (so cute Rob like Dalí), I´m not on facebook, twitter… there are a lot of information confusing me, I don´t trust , so.. please, If you are so kind to answer me, I´ll be greatful.
excuse me for my troubles, I don´t speak very well and all your information I´ll never be share I promise you by contract if you like it. sure.
I want give you my telephone number but really I don´t know where this email goes, perhaps next time?…
Anyway, thank you for all.
Good news- you can rest your tired, weary soul & fingers because you’ve fond me. I your Spanish Dali, you my Rosa. We have much in common. I, too, hate “Scream.” And what does TV do to me every year at this time? Play Scream 1-3 24/7 leading up to Halloween. I mean, Courtney Cox should not Play a trashy reporter- how dare they make her seem as low as the paparazzi? She’s a COUGAR. Cougars are MY people.
Speaking of Paparazzi, I hate when they oppress me too. can’t they just let stop exercising their authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner? (had to look that one up. big word)
I’m glad we’ve connected. No need for a contract, I’ll send you my contact information via Airmail, just as soon as this oppression ends…..
Oh there’s more, after the jump!
Subject: Special Order
Hello Am Douglas and i will like to know if you do have teddy bear…. And i will like you to advise me with the once you have and the price range on that too as well as if you accept credit card so that we can proceed ASAP.
Waiting to hear from you soon ….
I believe you sent me this piece of correspondence by mistake, but I’m so glad you did because I, too, am looking for teddy bear. My friend TomStu has been begging for one for ages now and his birthday is coming up. I have tried to enter a Toys R’ Us on a few occasions, but overtime I get out of my car and start to head towards the building, there’s always a collision of mini vans out front. This last time there was like a 5 minivan pile-up & I have to say, despite what the bumper stickers said, they did not, indeed Drive Like Cullens.
Let me know if you come across Teddy Bear online. I thought it was a good idea to give TomStu the Jacob Black doll for his last birthday and he loved it, but complained it wasn’t snuggly enough after his first night sleeping with it. I really have to find teddy bear.
New Orelans, LA
Subject: Looking forward to being BFFs
Greetings to you Rob,
I am another twifan trying to seek out information about the exact filming location of Breaking Dawn. Like I said, just another fan. However the difference is I have been to hundreds of Internet sites and have joined just about as many trying to find out this information.
If the rumors are true about Louisiana being the state that has been chosen, then what I would need to know is the city. A name of a cross street would be extremely helpful as well. You see this is not just for me! I would love to surprise my three daughters, as well as my granddaughter with a once in a life time surprise road trip to visit this filming site while in production.
I would be willing to sign a contract of confidentiality if need be. I am quit serious about trying to full-fill this dream of mine for my family. Thank you so very much for your time and I do appreciate any information that you would send my way.
What’s with you people willing to sign contracts with me today? I don’t know any legaleeze, but I’m sure I can figure out how to come up with a contract binding you to serving me hot pockets for the rest of my life! You wouldn’t want that now, would you? (No seriously, would you?)
The rumors are true. Louisiana is the state chosen to full-fill the dreams of Twihards everywhere. Those little oiled shrimpies in the sea won’t know what hit them when I start consuming pounds of pounds of them cajun-style every day (wrapped in a thin flaky crust & covered in cheese whiz and heated by the microwave, first, of course) To full-fill their destiny they must get in my tummy.
Well, I’m not even sure where we’re filming in Lousiana because they blindfold me every morning as they drive me on to set. They don’t want even me to spill the secrets to any outsiders. However, I do have it on good authority that Isle Esme will be filmed at the Jersey Shore- it’s gained a lot of notoriety in recent years as a girl named Snooki full-filled her destiny there. How about you meet us there and you can play the housekeeper and her grandchildren can be the feather throwers- will that full-fill your wishes for this dream for your family?
Otherwise, just head on down to “Nawlins” and make sure to bring some beads and wear them around your neck. I have my eye on you, your daughters & your granddaughter- that is if she’s 18, of course.
Why do I always end up writing like Rob is semi-retarded? Or socially awkward? Is that REALLY the picture I have of him in my mind?
Can I also say that no matter how badly written a non-native English speaker’s email is, it’s always a million times better than me writing in anything except pig latin. ausecay ihay uleray athay igpay atlinlay
MTV made that AMAZING Jersey Shore manip!