Rob has a ‘situation’ with a Porta Potty

The one who smelt it, dealt it!

Dear Rob,

News out of Brasil is fast and furious and it’s hard to figure out what’s true and what’s real and… ok, which picture is the best. We picked our faves the other day on LTT so I guess it’s time to tackle my favorite news item from Breaking Dawn filming:

Torched Toliet in Twilight Protest

Besides the awesome alliteration the news source used in the title, it’s really just gold. I laughed a LOOOONG time after reading it. So, in the post they say that because some of the Lapa Locals got annoyed at the inconvenience the filming caused them, they decided to torch a crew toliet. These people so wouldn’t last a day in Los Angeles.

Regardless of this all I have to say is: BUSTED!

You thought after taco day on set you could get away with using the crew porta potty and no one would be the wiser. You would have been in the clear if you hadn’t decided to try out that ‘totally awesome trick’ you saw in Jackass, and lit your farts to see what would happen. Spoiler Alert: you burned down a Brasilian porta potty. Instead of seeing the blue flame you almost passed out from the noxious flumes (hint: it smells like stale Heineken and the inside of Goodwill) but thankfully a kind old Brasilian grandma named Luisa noticed the smoke and knew EXACTLY what was going on (grandsons) and pulled you out before you were engulfed in flames.

You almost died from lighting your own farts on fire in a Brasilian porta potty between takes and you get your people to blame it on the locals? For shame Rob, at least own up to it or tell the crew you were taping a segment of Justin Bieber’s new version of Punk’d and it went horribly horribly wrong. Next time save this for when you’re home in Dick and Clare’s basement with Tom Stu on another three day video game bender. At least they have a fire extinguisher for emergencies. Or stupid stunts their son does that go very wrong.

Can’t believe I talked about farts,

So what really happened with the burned down Porta Potty? Who could really be that mad that Breaking Dawn is filming in their neighborhood? Think of all the money they’d make selling stuff to the Twicrazies camping out waiting for just a glimpse of the magicness!


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117 Responses to “Rob has a ‘situation’ with a Porta Potty”

  1. dazzledtodeath says:

    Are you TRYING to kill my Rob mojo?? First, you’re pointing out his bald spot, now you’ve put the image of Rob farting in my head.Thanks a lot. Why can’t you be like all the other Rob sites and ooh and aah over the epicness??? Oh, wait-I’d hate that.

  2. Rob's Flaming Dashboard says:

    Is TomStu in Brazil? I’m pretty sure this was a Brit Pack prank!

  3. robgirl86 says:

    “…set fire to a crew’s portable toilet Sunday..”

    Maybe somebody didn’t like Rob’s new haircut, was that you….Tom Cruise? I remember some threat regarding the brazilian blowout, Vidal Sasson and a toilet to flash down Rob’s career.

    love the pic, he looks perfectly TIRED ifyouknowhatImean 🙂

  4. LiLi says:

    BWAHAHAHAA….i can’t stop laughing at that manip. Brill.

    And, imma go ahead and say that there is no part of me that doesn’t believe that Ron isn’t a giggle farter. You know, a fart followed up by a giggle? Which, oddly, makes me kinda like him a bit more.

    • allryans says:

      He totally giggles … like a girl. Then looks at Kristen for some praise, but she always gives him the same look. You know the one.

  5. che says:

    i luv this pic in red.
    look at the jawwwwwwwwww
    he totaly lost some weight

  6. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight and LetterstoTwilight, Li Li. Li Li said: "Spoiler Alert: you burned down a Brasilian porta potty." BWAHAHAHAHA […]

  7. Michelle says:

    I remain firm on the stance that Rob doesn’t fart. And if he does it smells lovely like cinnamon or vanilla and he DEFINITELY blames it on Kristen.

    Hey, I have a husband…I want my fantasy men to be well…


    • JellyBeanRainbow says:

      No, Rob is more than FANTASY, he is special in more ways than we can imagine.
      He always looks good (except those few pics from Lubbock with greasy hair and mountain beard that will never happen again), he smells nice, he never sweats or poo
      or fart, he doesn’t have bad breath, he’s never fat, he doesn’t have acne ,… aaaand he can impregnate with a stare (too bad he doesn’t practice that yet) …..

      no, he’s not a vampire, his genes just mutated that way and that’s why we’re so crazy about him.

  8. LatersBaby says:

    I’ve seen a conflicting report that the fire was intentionally set by the crew to age part of the set, the heat got out of hand and melted the potty. Hmmm…Either way–I blame Summit.

    In my mind, Rob does not fart or poop, but he DEFINITELY starts fires for the sheer fun of it.

  9. robsfuturemate says:

    The first time Rob went into the porta potty he tried lighting his “thoughts” on fire. He then rewatched Jackass and realized they DID indeed say “farts.”

  10. Bea says:

    The manip is golden. I was giggling hysterically before I read a word. And still am.

  11. robsfuturemate says:

    Dear Rob,

    I just wanted to forewarn you before you start getting all paranoid…today’s gonna be the lightest comment day this week. I know what your thinking, “I’m going bald and now no one is commenting.” Let me be the first to tell you that those other girls were just here for “the drama.” They like to come and stir the pot (and we like that too, it does make it entertaining). But the girls that are here today love you, irrevocably, unconditionally and some other word I can’t think of right now.

    So, no need to get all paranoid. Just keep doing what you’re doing even if it’s setting porta potties on fire. We love you!

    Your Future Mate 🙂

  12. allryans says:

    I hate the word fart.

  13. shinegirl says:

    My lurking skills are seriously lacking! I missed the drama with the pot stirrers.

    Edward in the back seat…Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……

    Keep up the good work girls. Back to lurking.

  14. southernbelle says:

    Oh Moon, LOL I don’t want to think about bodily functions when it comes to Rob! :). Let me keep my fantasy alright?

    Anyway I was appalled to hear about that incident, I guess not everyone is gungho about the Twilight saga. For a moment I was scared for Rob and thought holy cow what if he happened to be in that portable toilet!?

  15. southernbelle says:

    I forgot to say that well, there’s some major jawporn in the 2nd picture!!!! So hot….and I’m gonna try to concentrate on him looking like this.

  16. Vera says:

    You had better not trust google to translate a single word from a language to another. I read all the Lapa neighborhood was very well paid for their losses, thus we don´t know exactly why the locals decided to set fire to the toilet. Police was called. No interviews. Vandalism.

    I was waiting for Robporn and you bring Robpig, instead. You´ll never see Rob baby so clean, once he´s been surrounded by water all around.

    Yes, bad english, but it is mine. Google has nothing to do with it.

    • robgirl86 says:

      @vera …I read “You´ll never see Rob’s baby so clean”…OMG, I need def.glasses…and Google has nothing to do with it either! 🙁
      I like him durty, but “Robpig” sounds just wrong to me…just saying.

      • Vera says:

        Rob´s clean baby, eh? I think of a million things related to.

      • melronin says:

        “I was waiting for Robporn and you bring Robpig instead. You’ll never see Rob baby so clean, once he’s been surrounded by water all around.”

        Omg….I need google to translate this for me! English is not my native language but I thought I could understand the basics.
        What??? Somebody please explain this sentence to me please!

        Plus another question: Why do people just NOT GET this blog?

        • MidnightCougar says:

          mel, English is my FIRST language & I really don’t understand WTF she is saying?! But, I do know the word “Robpig” makes me a little 🙁 .

    • Vera says:

      My writing makes no sense for you, girls? Well, I´m terribly sorry.

      Please, tell me the meanings of WTF, and lol, and Lmao.

      Little Rob has been facing a hard time, hot weather, paps, WATER, shaving, and also missing Tom Stu.

  17. MidnightCougar says:

    I have to admit, I don’t want to think of Rob & bodily functions, that manip is awful.

    Rob baby, you look so great all Cullenized-up as Edward, but I still love you like this the best:

    *sigh* damn what a fine pic!

    Happy Weekend LTR Ladies!

    • LatersBaby says:

      Once again, Rob’s wonky sleeve roll.

      And, no, I’m not getting any work done. But I planned it that way.

      • MidnightCougar says:

        Yes well it’s Friday, it’s more important that you get in some Friday Robporn than any actual work. Makes for a better weekend. 🙂

      • robsfuturemate says:

        Laters, I was thinking this was actually a good sleeve roll. And that someone had to have the job of sleeve rolling…and of course, I’d volunteer!!!

    • robgirl86 says:

      I love blue shirts on him….Happy weekend to you as well!

    • southernbelle says:

      He is gorgeous….this is imprinted on my brain!

      • MidnightCougar says:

        I know right? He looks just beautiful in that blue shirt. Mind boggling that this is an “outtake”. *shakes my head*

        • southernbelle says:

          With this picture I imagined myself walking into a room then suddenly I felt electricity from his eyes. He turned to look at me….and I’m just gonna be in awe of him, speechless and unable to move!

          *Thud* then hopefully Rob will give me mouth to mouth rescucitation and maybe carry me to his hotel room. LOL

          • MidnightCougar says:

            Very creative, I might have to borrow this wonderful fantasy from you sometime. 😉

          • southernbelle says:

            Oh this is the abridged version, more things happen after :).

          • MidnightCougar says:

            I think you should expand on it for me, say in an “M” rated FanFic style story? *wink, wink*

          • southernbelle says:

            Believe me I have many ideas LOL. I have a ton of stories just waiting to be put in writing….embarrassing ones.

          • MidnightCougar says:

            You go girl. I’ll be first in line to read them. I wouldn’t worry about embarrassing ones, have you read some of the “M” rated FanFics? Holy smokin’ HOT stuff!! If you want a proof-reader, I’ll give you my e-mail? 🙂 That would be so cool. Come on, get writing!!

  18. […] to our Sister Site, Letters To Rob for the […]

  19. Sharon says:

    OH HELL YES! Thanks so much girls, I needed a laugh today! I can so totally see Rob burning down the porta potty! While reading your post I pictured Rob in the porta potty thinking hmmmm wonder if……and pulling his cig lighter out of his pocket and kaboom! Oh yeah, I can picture it. I hope he didn’t burn his pretty little bottom. But please stop mentioning a bald spot on top of Robs head. No, he does not have a bald spot. I’ve done extensive research and found that what we are seeing is just the way they are parting his hair.
    My Rob is never going bald.

  20. Alex says:

    Dont like the post that much -Sorry.

    But I love all the comments – Very funny.

    Rob has so many facial expression. Each and every picture of him is different.They are so useful when it comes to making a good manip and creating a story.

    Love you Rob….. as always

    BTW: Do you girls also have a problem with WFE opening date? Most IMDB girls dont like the date????

    • roslynselene says:

      I have no problem with it because it’s two days before my birthday. : ) But if it could come out tomorrow, I’d be more than happy!

    • MidnightCougar says:

      I wonder what their problem would be with the release date of April 15, 2011? (Canada & US) What difference does it really make? Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Rob as Jacob Jankowski ASAP.

    • P.S. says:

      Love the date!! I know exactly what I’m doing to celebrate the end of tax season, and it’s not going to the office party!

      • MidnightCougar says:

        haha, that’s right, who needs any office party, when you can watch Rob walking around with a Bull Whip, looking super sexy? 😉

    • robsfuturemate says:

      The WFE date is fine with me, and makes sense considering it was filmed this summer. It’s the Bel Ami date that kinda chaps my hide (no idea where that came from). I was hoping for a Dec/Jan release date. Something to get us through the Rob drought.

      • Alex says:

        all IMDB girls love WFE and they cant wait for it. But their concern is the BO numbers as they like to see it opening no1 or with impressive numbers. I think there are other good films come out on that day. So WFE has a huge competition.

        I also like to see that film do really well. I hope everyone will see the film.

        You know some media, gossip blogs etc try to ruin Robs career or they like putting his other films down if the based on BO numbers. They always try to show that RM was a fail saying it only made 19m when it made around 58m. Yes US figures were not impressive but overall result was GOOD.

        Some media and blog writers have veryy shitty way of writing when it comes to Rob.

  21. kristen's bestie says:

    Because it’s tax day? I wouldn’t care if it was Christmas! I would still be at the theater watching the movie!!

  22. roslynselene says:

    Lol LOVED LOVED LOVED this post! But apparently, judging by the comments, Rob doesn’t poop nor fart. So here’s my fart-free story:

    Rob is sitting in the toilet–NOT pooping–just reading Justin Bieber: 1 Step 2 4EVA (which is a real book btw). All too soon, just when he was getting to the ‘good part’, Sourpuss comes over banging on the door, demanding he get out of there and stop “whackin’ it” because she needs to “take a piss”.

    Rob shaking his head, thinking to himself, “Jesus Christ! If Mum, Dad, and the Queen were here to hear her speak. Perish the thought! And I am most definitely *not* “whackin’ it”. Why, I would never! How crude!”

    “Get the f*ck out of there, Rob! I’m warning you!”, she screams. Rob starts to panic because he doesn’t know where to hide the “book”. In his shirt? He doesn’t have one. They’re filming Isle Esme, remember? In his shorts? It’s the only place he can but it’ll surely fall out because there’s no junk in his trunk to sustain it. Rob’s taking too long and Stewart ends up pissing herself. She shouldn’t have drunk the whole pitcher of loquat koolaid.

    “Fine, if I have to walk around with piss on myself,
    he’ll have to too.”, Kristen thinks to herself.
    She starts pushing the porta potty–yes, she’s THAT strong. Surprisingly, Rob manages to get out before it tips over.

    That’s when the angry mob of Brazilians come holding pitchforks and torches. Kristen flees and ditches Rob as he tries to speak with them in Portuguese but fails miserably.

    “Obrigada! Buenos dias…? Mi casa es su casa. Umm…sexy vampiro?”, he says nervously.

    This insults the angry mob and infuriates them even more. One of them tries to hit Rob on the head with the flaming torch but misses and hits the porta potty instead.

    “Where’s Tom when I need him?”, thinks Rob while running away from the angry mob with the Bieber book in hand. He ran and ran and ran until a silver Volvo appears out of nowhere. The driver opens up the passenger door telling him to get in. Rob jumps in and the driver speeds away.

    Once Rob manages to calm himself, he looks over at the ‘stupid shiny silver Volvo owner’ and realizes it’s…Kristen?! Dun dun dun!
    To be continued…
    (Not really, this is it.)

    • MidnightCougar says:

      Have you considered writing FanFiction (or maybe you already do)? You have a very creative mind! 🙂

      • roslynselene says:

        Haha, thanks! But no, I don’t write fanfic. It’s too embarrassing for me to write Rob’s sex scenes. Lol But I do enjoy imagining Rob in funny situations! And that’s how this came about. 🙂

    • Rob's Flaming Dashboard says:

      OK tumblr ppl, imma need a manip of Rob reading the Bieber book STAT!
      Also love the ad for luxury restroom trailer rentals at the bottom of the page!
      Hey hey it’s Friday! *tips margarita glass to salute all LTR buddies*

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Nice one, Ros! I loved it! I was a little disappointed that the stupid shiny Volvo owner wasn’t TomStu. But then I guess Kristen makes more sense! (yes, thumbs down away. but if it’s only one of you than I guess my joke wasn’t that clear)

      And of course, the loquat koolaid!!!

      • roslynselene says:

        You know, I was gonna put Tom Stu but I wanted the dramatic ending. Dun dun dun! Lol And you know K is up to no good so Rob is probably gonna wish the Brazilians HAD killed him. Okay fine, I’ll finish the story.

        KRISTEN:”Muahahaha, yes, Rob. I am NOT you’re f*cking night in shining armor. Or vampire in shining Volvo. Whatever the f*ck. Anywho, as you can see and probably f*cking smell, I’m still covered in my own damn piss. And this is all your motherf*cking fault. What the f*ck were you doing in there anyway?”

        ROB: (terrified and pinching his nose): “Ummm, r-reading?”

        KRISTEN: (scoffs) “Reading? My ass! You don’t *read* porn. What type of f*cking porn do you guys have in the UK? This is America, Dude! We don’t read here!

        ROB (still pinching his nose): “Yeah, apparently.”

        Kristen: “What’s that supposed to mean?! And stop pinching your nose! You sound girlier that Bieber.”

        ROB: “Bieber?! What do you mean? Who’s Bieber anyway? (nervous laugh) I have no idea what you are talking about. Where are you taking me?!”

        KRISTEN: “F*ck! I see a pap. Act like you’re in love with me.”

        ROB: “Act? ::scoffs:: Obviously that doesn’t work. Have you *seen* any of the Twilight movies?”

        KRISTEN: “Yeah, you’re right. A dead cat and a mouse have more chemistry than we do. Whatever, those Robstens will believe anything.”

        ROB: ::gag:: “Ugh! You just said Robsten…and you smell like cat piss! They don’t call you sourpuss for nothing. But never mind that! Where are you taking me?”

        KRISTEN: “Don’t you worry about that. ::evil laugh::”

        ROB: “Sooner or later, Big Daddy is gonna wonder where we are. We promised him he can stay and watch us film the sex scene. Summit said we could take a TEN minute break. It’s been THIRTY minutes now! They’re gonna chop our balls off! What are we gonna DO?!”

        KRISTEN: “Snap out of it! ::slap:: You see what you’ve done?! You made me hurt you! And don’t you start crying. We’re already here. Get out of the car and act normal.”

        ROB:(get’s out of the car and sees…) “Tom? Tom! (runs to Tom) Oh, Tom please help me!”

        Tom laughs in an evil manner, takes off his mask and it’s…Kristen? Two Kristens?

        ROB: “Nooooooooooooooooo!”

        Rob wakes up on Dick and Claire’s basement floor next to Tom. Heineken bottles and Hot pocket wraps everywhere. Rob sighs in relief.

        ROB: “It was…just…a dream. A dream! It’s not real! Oh thank god!”

        TOM: (wakes up) “Wha-what’s the matter, Rob? What dream?”

        ROB: “It doesn’t matter, it wasn’t real! What date is it? (checks his jitterbug and sees it’s year 2007) What? Tom! Did I ever…star in a vampire movie…with Kristen Stewart?”

        TOM: “That chick from the movie we saw last night? Into The Wild? Haha! You wish, mate!”

        ROB: “Thank God! And no, Tom. I’d never wish that…”

        (Moral of the story: Beer before liquor, never sicker, Kiddos!)

  23. Susiecueablelovesrob says:

    Hilarious and very creative!

  24. LatersBaby says:

    Spoiler Alert! These pics just came out…gulp

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Wowza!!!! Thanks Laters, I can die a happy woman now!! I’m seriously looking forward to BD now 🙂

    • MidnightCougar says:

      You mean Spoil ME Alert. Holy Hotness in Hell! Rob looks SO incredible! Those black underwear………damn.

      • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

        Sweet mother of god! He looks exsactlyof how I imagined him in those briefs! Now if I only could get my hands on that………!!!

        • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

          See what he does to me: Now I can’t even spell or speak english anymore……!

          • MidnightCougar says:

            I know, he really does look amazing. It’s unbelievable, the powers that man has over us doting women – crazy, but exhilarating!

    • Britt says:

      I think this is worthy of it’s own LTR post. lol God he’s so fuckin hot.

      • MidnightCougar says:

        I can’t imagine that Moon & UC would miss the opportunity to discuss Rob in those sexy black underwear. Those pics are a dream come true for all of us! lol

        • robsfuturemate says:

          Oh, I’m sure it will be! There’s no way that something more amazing than that can show up this weekend. Unless, Rob’s naked. (You hear that, Rob?!)

  25. che says:

    seriously..i just saw ‘the’set pics from Brasil…OMG
    where was i till now…i’m totaly gonna luvvvvvvvvvvvv BD!!!!!!!

      • robsfuturemate says:

        First off, that top is redonkulous!!! And second, I think that the only reason Rob is not looking like “that” is the person to the far right of that pic! You know he would so get slapped on the back of his head for that!

        • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

          Ha, ha he’s petrified to look! He would sooooooooooooo be slapped if he had a look (actually a bit sad because we know how he loves boobs – we’ve seen evidence of that in other pictures)!

        • roslynselene says:

          Let the man enjoy some boobs! I mean, I’m sure Rob isn’t used to boobs that big. (And neither am I. 🙁 )

          • robsfuturemate says:

            He is obvi not used to boobs that big, we’ve all seen the girl! But it does give hope for those of us a little less (okay a lot less) endowed. I think my small things are even bigger than hers!!

        • LatersBaby says:

          First off–I have that top, thank you very much.
          Second–well, you must see the expression “the girl” is giving in some of these fan photos. Yes, I’ll just call her “the girl.”

          I’ve been trying to avoid feeling negatively towards “the girl.” In fact, I even went to some of her fan sites today trying to understand the appeal. I tried for some empathy, sympathy at least. When my friends date someone I’m not crazy about, I really try hard to like the person. And, well, Rob and I are friends–sort of.

          But, tonight, at this moment, I’m throwing in the towel. If she can only scowl in pictures–not pap pictures mind you–but scowl at thirteen-year-olds who spend their baby sitting money to go to her films. Well, I’m done.

          The End!

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Hey LB!! I want to see you wearing that top when you come to LA, baby! 😉 I have also tried hard to like that girl. But she just keeps doing things that really piss me off! At this moment though, if he’s happy I’m happy. She had just better not hurt him (more than the usual heartbreak, cause it’s not gonna last. btw Rob, I’m Papa P approved!)

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