Robert Pattinson was made for Dancing with the Stars

Dear Rob,

Recently the Examiner (purveyors of quality news stories) reported that both you and Kristen Stewart had been approached to join the cast for the next season of TV’s classiest, danciest, glitteriest (that’s a word), most man chesticle baring, A LIST competitive dancing show! Yes, you Robert Pattinson were supposedly asked to be on Dancing with the Stars. Sadly, the Examiner tells us you turned it down, though it’s not certain whether it was a flat denial or you mulled it over a bit. Because clearly, that’s what’s important here: the amount of time it took you to say HALE NO to ABC.

You may have said “when vampire’s DON’T sparkle” I’ll be on that show, but I’m thinking maybe you should reconsider! I mean look at your past dancing record, you’re a force to be reckoned with on the dance floor.

Let’s take a look back at your dance card and see why you need to be on DWTS:

Vanity Fair – West Side Story Photo Shoot

They may have put you in the back, but I really think that’s a height thing and so that wimps like Chris Evans wouldn’t feel inferior to your supreme dancing prowess!

Twilight – Prom scene dance

Dancing in E’s bedroom

Cedric Diggory at the Yule Ball in Harry Potter

(approx min 4:00, 4:37, 5:06, 7:33)
Why Cho Chang ever left you is beyond me. Look at those moves. Maybe DWTS should also ask both the Weasley Twins to join next seasons cast…

Eclipse – Finger snappin’

Look at your natural rhythm, the feel for the music, you have it IN YOU!

More fun after the jump

I’m not saying you’re the Fred Astaire of Twilight cast or some sort of A lister like the Clooney or the Gos or whatever but let’s take a look at PAST DWTS contestants and see if Rob fits in this bunch…

This could be you!!

  • Bristol Palin- Ex Vice Presidential Candidate’s daughter and poster child for unwed teen mothers
  • Like a gazillion kids from now defunct Disney TV shows
  • Lance Bass AND Joey Fatone – two fifths of the greatest late 90s early 00s boyband to ever grace this planet!!!
  • Various assorted other boyband members NOT part of the greatest late 90s early 00s boyband (ie Drew Lashley, Joey Mac – luv ya Joey!)
  • Jennie Garth – your costar’s wife and castmember of the ORIGINAL 90210
  • Tucker Carlson – Fired MSNBC political commentator


  • Michael Bolton – long haired, ex rocker turned old lady panty dropper (Sorry MamaMoon, its the truff)
  • Buzz Aldrin – 2nd dude to ever walk on the moon. Husband to delicate flower and Dlisted fave Lois
  • Gilles Mariniwhatever – The dude Samantha sees in the shower with the big no-no, in the Sex and the City movie, that convinces her to leave Smith Jerad (STUPID!!!)
  • Kate Gosselin – Mother to 8 kids and reality show trainwreck.
  • The Situation – Dude from the Jersey Shore with the most STD’s and cheesiest white man’s fade haircut
  • Tons of professional sports players, past Olympians, Z list reality stars and clinging to their last shread of dignity actors.

What you would get EVERY dance!

Clearly, you can see from the caliber of stars on that list your presence and dance ability and general joi de vie is needed on a classy show like Dancing with the Stars. Not to mention the possibility of you wearing sequined polyester pants with a shirt cut down to there and high heeled male dancing shoes is reason enough for us. I’d even set a DVR Series alert for this mess and you KNOW my mom would vote for you every week. On her cell AND via the interwebs because she’s a dedicated DWTS fan and you need those to win this juggernaut.

But whatever be committed to being an actor and bringing us the best Breaking Dawn or whatever. I’ll just be over here wondering what could have been with you on Dancing with the Stars.

That mirrorball trophy is yours!

Wouldn’t you die to see the trainwreck that would be Rob or Kristen on DWTS?! I might even pay money for that.

Thanks to: LissaHoff, Twilight Poison and FuckYeaTwilightGifs (my new obsession)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

96 Responses to “Robert Pattinson was made for Dancing with the Stars”

  1. Edible Art says:

    Yeah it would never happen but imagine the hilarity – I think Rob would prefer to live behind a dumpster than be reduced to appearing on a reality TV show and if he did surely he would do “strictly come dancing” the UK (and original) version !!!! Yeah we have enough z list celebs to fill up the T V schedules here no worries. Also the finger snapping gif – highlight of my week so far

    Rob if dancing is your thing let’s Cha Cha Cha together k !!!

    • GoodgirlgonePlaid says:

      When this happens (in a parallel universe) I’ll hand over my Pattinson Pants and BiJ tshirt in order get into the beeb! Cause you know Clare is bang up for it.
      When I saw that gif (love) I could totes see Bruno screeching on about Musicality, and Craig eyeing him up for laters.

    • can i tell you how much i love the name ‘strictly come dancing?’

      why they changed it for the US version i’ll never know.

    • pukesten says:

      ya i think your right, rob would get on better with ol’ brucie at the beeb!
      i love the finger snapping gif couldn’t you imagine rob jiving it up on the dancefloor!!

    • mine!mine!mine! says:

      How weird, i haven’t been on this site for months and I’ve been entertaining my brain with the thought of Rob and TheStew on ‘strictly come dancing’ and lo-and-behold here you all are discussing it on Letterstorob. But let’s not forget those other two ‘Great’!!! shows (jk) that are currently being aired on the TV over here in good old Blighty…..I am of course talking about ‘I’m a celebrity…..get me out of here’ and ‘X Factor’.

      Personally, I think they should do ‘I’m a celebrity’….would be interesting to see how thestew manages eating kangaroo cock!!!!

      And to our American brethren…. apologies for the circus that is about to hit your shores…namely American X factory, whoops, sorry I mean Factor, oh and of course we will be losing the ‘nation’s sweetheart’ to the USA …humpf nation’s sweetheart…who comes up with this crap…seriously, seriously.

      How ye all doing?

      • pukesten says:

        hey mine you fell off the rob sobriety wagon 😉

        • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

          MMM – you’re back! You’re one of the funniest ladies around! Please don’t be a stranger – I’ve missed you!

          • mine!mine!mine! says:

            ‘Why, thank you my dear’ (said in best southern accent [USA]). I’ve been working like the bejeesu and haven’t had time to contribute (tho have been reading occasionally). After losing job around March/April time this year – direct result of spending all my working hours on this blog – I’ve had to knuckle down. However the weather over here means that nobody; and I mean nobody has managed to get into work for the last two days. Strangely it appears that all my work colleagues live outside of London (hmmmm) and so are unable to get in to work (again I say hmmmm!)

  2. minuit_passe says:

    “Not to mention the possibility of you wearing sequined polyester pants with a shirt cut down to there and high heeled male dancing shoes is reason enough for us.”
    I think he wouldn’t because he doesn’t know what sequinted is, scientifically proven with guy friends of mine. Otherwise he would, obviously. Especially with TomStu. I’m sure it’s TomStu’s secret dream.

  3. Stefanie says:

    I love that that GIF website highlights the fact that Mr. Pattinson is often caught checking out our little Stewie’s goods. I would pay cash (to a charity, natch) to see her haul off and give his bum a good crack to even the playing field!

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: Rob is such a great dancer they put him in the back! […]

  5. Vera says:

    Should Rob dance in a reality show, I’ll restarting my salsa workout. That´s what I’ve been dreaming of, dancing salsa with Rob.

    Off topic: My avatar is sexier than yours. After dancing salsa the bed is the best place to go. Just kidding.

  6. dazzledtodeath says:

    I’d pay good money to see Rob flailing around and the mullephant doing THIS move , accompanied by the Benny Hill theme of course:

  7. robgirl86 says:

    Rob can dance as long as he wants for me, of course a private and SOLO performance !

  8. MidnightCougar says:

    I used to watch DWTS but I’ve lost interest in the last couple of series. BUT, I would definitely go back to watching if Rob was on it. Although, I’m sure I’d be second-hand embarrassed for him as he stumbled his way around the dance floor. Even he admits that he’s not the most co-ordinated person. Maybe we could start an LTR-Dancing-Lessons-for-Rob Club? On my, I’m just imagining Rob’s nice tight toned ass in those men’s dancing pants…..*sigh*

  9. Jellybeanrainbow says:

    I don’t want him on DWTS, sorry MamaMoon. But I wouldn’t be opposed to me dancing on a pole for him. I’d even throw in a complimentary lap dance. No $$$ bills necessary . And no, I’m not a professional pole dancer. Yet.

  10. melronin says:

    Dear Rob

    Are people implying that you can’t dance honi? What???
    You are Fred Astair, you are Gene Kelly…you are f***Michael Baryshnikov…or better yet…you are Michael Jackson!!!
    You have THE moves babe…trust!!!
    Nobody puts Rob in the corner!!!
    Although you can do the wonkydance with me any time in any corner…just sayin! 😀


  11. robsfuturemate says:

    Wow! I originally thought “no way Rob’s coordinated enough to pull that off”. But that video (thanks D2D) reminded me just how worse Kristen is at coordination or just walking! Poor girl, if this was supposed to be a team effort, no wonder they turned it down! I think Rob might have felt sorry for her. He obviously has the upper hand here! Oh well, maybe next year when they ask him solo 😉

  12. Sharon says:

    Oh Yeah…..polyester, sequined, dancing pants. Yeah, that’s what I wanna see Rob in….please! And I wanna join the LTR-Dancing-Lessons-for-Rob-Club. I’d love to take him out for a spin, and this old lady has a move or two or three to teach him….. (notice I didn’t specify the moves would be dance moves) Where do I sign up for that club?

  13. kandnandb says:

    Don’t ever do it, Rob. DWTS is for has-beens & wannabes. You’re neither. And if you did do it, I’d be forced to watch a show I flounced in protest after Kate “Mother of the Year” Gosselin was chosen. So don’t make me eat my words, Rob. I’d rather have my mouth full of something else.

    If the mullephant wants to do it…….well, I’ll say no more.

    • Keisha says:

      My sentiments exactly. It’s for people that are no longer really in the limelight anymore. DWTS would jizz themselves if they actually got a Twilight person. Maybe the guy that Edward points to in the parking lot and says “Not that guy. Oh he just looked” is available!
      I would love to see Bruno go ape shit over Rob though.

      • kandnandb says:

        Maybe the guy that Edward points to in the parking lot and says “Not that guy. Oh he just looked” is available!”

        Bahahaha! Or maybe Mr Molina. I bet he can shake those hips.

  14. I cannot even imagine. he’d be so adorably wonky though. but, I don’t want him on the show with all those D listers. I’d rather have him dance for me. just me. because that’s not creepy or anything. also, thanks Moon, I just looked at that Twilight gifs tumblr and I think I’m obsessed with it. except for all the k stuff. Rob’s wonky dance when he’s wearing the KARATE PANTS(you know how I feel about those) is amazing ok amazing.

  15. southernbelle says:

    This is hilarious!

    Yeah Rob on that show would be so funny, wonky feet and all! I just would love to see him wearing all the different costumes, hmm that would be awesome! I’m sure he’ll make everyone swoon!!! I bet the studio will need more security to handle all the screaming fans.
    The lines will be all the way to Timbuktu to get inside there.

    Dear Rob,

    Get your groove on and dance! Dancing’s sexy!


  16. Janetrigs says:

    You’re crazy. I <3 it.

  17. Nelle says:

    I heard a rumor (unfortunately since debunked) that Rob was considering doing a remake of The Graduate with Jennifer Aniston. Now THAT would be epic.

  18. Rob's Flaming Dashboard says:

    You guys know who should do DWTS? Justin Chon, aka Eric Yorkie. He would be totally up for it!
    Agree that Tom Stu secretly wishes he was on it. Some body link that awesome photo of Rob dancing with Tom, in drag, please!

  19. roslynselene says:

    I just hopped over to LTT to take a peek at what was today’s topic (Cathy Coug) and UC & Moon changed the comment format. Whatever you do, don’t change this one! I like the thumbs up and down button and the “Rob would marry this, Rob hates this”. But just out of curiosity, what are the avatars going to be? Rob’s face? Anything but the apple, please!

    • trying things out! its called disqus. since this comment system seems to be hard to read once it gets farther out in replies…. we’ll see

      • Jules says:

        You can take away my thumbs, but you can’t take away my FREEDOM!!!
        Seriously though, I like the thumbsdown, it makes things more interesting. I like to know when people are pissed at me. Goodtimes.

      • pumagirlsf says:

        Noooooooo don’t take it away! Watching how upset people get over differing opinions is part of the fun :((

        Really, please don’t take it away. Otherwise people will have to start replying to posts they disagree with by commenting “THUMBS DOWN” and then it’ll be anarchy.

        • roslynselene says:

          Yeah, if the thumbs downing gets taken away, there are going to be more “hate comments”. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s more efficient to thumbsdown and move on than to write long letters about why Rob wouldn’t marry your comment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Yeah I’m gonna use this thing from now on.

        • roslynselene says:

          ‹(•¿•)› ‹^› Or this. We can call it “KStew-ing” you when I hate your comment. Quick, Krisbians! Thumbs me down while you can! 😀

      • pukesten says:

        I like thumbs up/down it’s a quick way of giving an opinion and 99.9% of the time it’s up!

  20. Cath says:

    I think Rob could be a dance instructor in Finland. Why Finland?
    Here’s a vid I’ve spotted the other day and it apparently features one of Finland’s most notorious dancing teachers…The guy in white. So Rob can still channel his inner John Travolta, I’m waiting for Unbound Captives; The Musical. Or maybe (as it’s freezing here in good ol’ Europe) The Britpack on Ice! Ahem, yes.

  21. maggie says:

    hmmmm…..Me, Rob and the argentine tango. Now there’s a fantasy I can dwell on to get me through the rest of this dreary work day. (sigh….)

  22. lola says:

    Rob is a gorgeous creature, but he makes walking look painful half the time with his inverted feet. And he’s so long limbed, that even if he was a good dancer, he’d still look like a scarecrow blowing about with those stems of his.

  23. LadyN says:

    Yes for the last pic/gif!
    I was telling my friends that he’s not really dancing… it’s sooo a musician thing! He was thinking of a song, a beat. I’ve seen guy musicians (i sing) look that crazy yet compose amazing things. The music is playing in his head. He’s doing the whole “Doom pa!’ thing. That’s what i call it HAHahaa!

    Gosh, I lurv that rehtard. LOL

    Question is: How the heck did he get that West Side Story shoot gig?? And actually look like he’s knows what he’s doing? Was his manager at the time totes giving him whatv gig he can get him that wasn’t a human singing telegram? Poor Ron. 🙁

    He did say in Ellen that he was a ‘ballerina’ when he was ten or something, right? weeeird.

  24. Vera says:

    Yes, Rob, I still think of you the most part of my day. And I miss you so. Can´t wait to see new pics. I am watching Remember me again, this night.

    Hope you read fans’ comments.

    Kisses in your heart

  25. Susiecueablelovesrob says:

    No ‘dancing with the stars’ for Rob, please but more dances like the one at the school prom in Twiligt – so sexy – and preferably with me as the dancepartner!!

  26. Sakes says:

    i love finger-snapping Robward, omg he looks so hottt!!!!!
    Luv him. An i’d definitely dont want to ever ever ever see robbie reduced to dancing with the stars. gag!!!
    especially not wit kristen. Cud u imagine!

  27. Pattygirl says:

    O/T ;

    current bid on Bd visit w/ rob is at $57,500.00
    Minimum Next Bid: $62,500.00

    • roslynselene says:

      😯 INSANE!

      • Pattygirl says:

        someone is getting their christmas wish, any bet it will reach US$ 100,000 ?

        • roslynselene says:

          Anyone wanna bet *who’s* gonna win this thing? I saw some chick under the name “jerseyshoregirl” bidding $13,000! Poor Snooki. MTV money isn’t enough so she stopped there. I think Rob is relieved, though (if he’s checking this thing).

          Haha! These bidders’ names are hilar! “Cocopuff”? Oh yes. She’s absolutely coo-coo for crack. 😆

  28. Pattygirl says:

    Yeah, there names are interesting……..ok they did an auction in Cannes to win a kiss by Rob, what next?

  29. ambushed by twilight says:

    ohh geeze… i’m SO sorry i missed this post when it 1st came up… i’m two days late. (twss)

    but geeze Moon! warn a gal when you’re gonna be THAT funny! i’m at work for pete’s sake! i had to stiffle the laughs… HONEST!

    whew, love this post… don’t know how i’ve lived a “fullfilled life” up to this point w/o that gif of Rob finger-snappin’ *WOO-HOO* i had to send it to my hubby!

    THANKS a mil for this one! laughter burn cake-induced calories!

  30. ...wowie! says:

    The “Eclipse Finger snapping” is my FAVE from the whole Eclipse dvd thingy. LOVE IT!!!!

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