Robert Pattinson is auctioned off to the highest bidder

Heh... heh... you bid HOW much???

Dear Rob,

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote to explain that a meeting with you was being auctioned off and that it was oddly worded to include a 2 night stay in a hotel and that at press time the bids were around $10,000. WEEELLLL the auction ended and you’re never guess how much the package went for. No, seriously you’ll never guess!!! Ok, ready? A POSSIBLE (yea, the description saidthey couldn’t even guarantee you’d be there!) meet-n-greet with you on the set of Breaking Dawn in Vancouver went for a bid of EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!! That’s an 8 with 4 zeros behind it!! For that kind of money I would expect to live with you in LA RENT FREE for like the next 5 years where you feed me Flaming Hot Cheetos while I watch episodes of The Office in my Hello Kitty pj’s. Not a MAYBE chance of seeing you in a city where it SNOWS.

In light of this news we came up with some mini letters we want to share…

Dear 15 year old who won,
Your Daddy regrets missing your Quinceanera, huh? Is this his way of making it up to you? Did you threaten to runaway if he didn’t buy this for your episode of My Super Sweet 16 (or 15 in this case)?

You lucky bizzzznatch. Too bad you will not have the life experience to know what to do with this man. Once again youth (and My Super Sweet 16) is wasted on the young.

Moon and UC


Ok... maybe it's worth it

Dear Grown-ass woman who bid 80,000 bucks and won,
You do realize that you’re now on “The List” right? The maker’s of “The List” don’t care that it’s going to a charity that no one’s ever heard of. Nice try on trying get 2 days with Rob in a hotel room but clearly, you’re not an LTR regular to know we’re about as serious as a fanny pack. But you…you’re full fledge on “The List.”

Scared for you,
Moon and UC

Rob- tell your people they better step up their game and make sure you don’t just decide to take off one day to make a quick run to Norman’s Rare Guitar’s in the Valley, while some poor rich girl sits in a Vancouver hotel room sobbing about draining her 401 and her inheritance on a POSSIBLE chance to meet you. Show her a good time, buy her a pitcher of PBR at a dive bar, show her a couple dumpsters and wash your hair. You know a real Robert Pattinson experience. I mean it’s EIGHTY THOOOOUUUUUSAND smackers!

Wishing we had a 80 thousand bones (to NOT spend on Rob),
Moon and UC

Srsly, 80K?! WTF? Anyone? Is this just us or do you guys think this is insane?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


105 Responses to “Robert Pattinson is auctioned off to the highest bidder”

  1. drsaka says:

    Yes, this is crazy, but it is for charity.

    And kudos to Rob for being a good sport and agreeing to this.

    I wonder if we’ll get to see who won the auction?

    BTW- if I were to have bid, I would have been out of the running at ~$149.99- sorry Rob, but I do need to pay my rent.

  2. Totally My Super 16 material! Also expect a spectacular arrival by private plane or smth, with sparkling clothes all over, more sparkling than Edward. 2nd hand embarassing but Rob will have a good story to exagerate in a dive bar afterwords.

    • robgirl86 says:

      yep, always.. if he survives this “experience” (read…attack by the mom of the supersweet 16y shit girl..)

      • imagine if it’s a mum AND daugther package, I mean at this point of craziness. Like “OK, OK I’ll make you a present, but I don’t want you flying there alone”

        • robgirl86 says:

          Amfar was indeed a mom&daughter thing..+ only the thought of bringing along my mom…OMG! NO, in that case Rob has to pay $80.000 to me to make me agree to this…just saying!

  3. MidnightCougar says:

    “For that kind of money I would expect to live with you in LA RENT FREE for like the next 5 years…” LMAO I loved this gals. But, yes I agree $80,000 with no guarantee? I would have definitely need the guarantee before even submitting the bid. But, if whoever won actually gets to spend time with him, she is one lucky bitch! Very nice.

    Happy Weekend LTR Ladies: Just a little Pouty Lipporn to start the weekend! xo MC

    Ooh & a new Bel Ami still. He looks exceptional.

  4. no cool name says:

    Complete crazy pants.

  5. me says:

    he’s worth much more than that:)

  6. unpetitpeuk says:

    If that fan is a grown-ass woman, as you very well put it, then it’s ok. She’s on The List, has too much money and is too old for her to change from not normal to normal. Could be BFF with CougarCathy. All is good.

    If it’s a 15 year old I have a letter too:
    Dear Dad of the 15 year old who made you spend 80000$ for a possible meet and greet,
    What the F*&% were you thinking! Seriously now. Bye her some books, a trip, a bicycle or something, maybe even a LV bag (too much for a 15 yr old, but anyway)! 80000 dollars?!?!?!! Now even the person who bought Rob’s kiss for 20000 seems normal (not)! Be serious!Really now!

    P.S. If that special fan is Paris Hilton, I will not be surprised. At all. Spoiled, rich and on many Lists already.

  7. melronin says:

    Dear Dad

    Was I not always a good daughter to you? Did I not always care for your wellbeing and fullfilled all your wishes??? Did you not forget my sweet 16….long ago???
    And what did I ever ask of you??? Nothing more than a louzy 80.0001 $ to make a lil dream of mine come true! And you said NO!!!

    Am deeply wounded!!!

    Your loving daughter

  8. Edible Art says:

    Mad even if I had the money I wouldn’t spend it on this ….. Rob is great but I would literally DIE if he knew I spent $80k ( might not be so bad in pounds) to meet him. If I was rich I’d give the money to charity then hire a private detective to follow him and have me on speed dial so I could “accidentally” bump into him lol whoops hope i’m not giving the crazies ideas !!!!

  9. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    I bet it was Suri Cruise. She wears the clothes I’d wear if I was rich and now she’s going to meet a guy I dream of. Spoiled little brat.

  10. Tiffany says:

    All Ive gotta say is for 80,000 bones I’d expect TO BE boned 80,0000 times….. Im just sayin’…

  11. robgirl86 says:

    Well, Ladies,to me it seems (charity..great..really!!!) higly embarrassing to meet Rob this way…what to say?

    Hi Rob,
    nice to bang ..ahem….meet you!
    I thought, this package of yours is worthy $80.000..ahem..
    I love you so much….
    can you come…ahemm…alone?
    can’t be

    P.S.but…horray for charity and package anyway… 🙂

    • melronin says:

      Honi…if I had 80.000$ to spend on Rob (charity or not) I would NOT be a bit embaressed to tell Mr.Pattinson EXACTLT what I want him to do to…with me! Seriously…the man agreed to do this? Am sure he is also ready to deliver…IF he shows up!

      Dear Rob

      Am sure you know what my 80.000$ are worth for…right baby??? 😉

      • robgirl86 says:

        right, I remember him saying that $5 dollar for a kiss was a good price to him…..and if it goes well, then he was ready to do more….HIS words, NOT mine! lol
        Maybe for $80.000 he’s d’accord to be consumed!

    • MidnightCougar says:

      I agree RG, I’m all for charity, but I feel this $80,000 bid is really boardering on the bizarre.

      • robgirl86 says:

        seriously, just add this to a long long list of bizzare things about Twifandomfranchisingblabla…
        ($ 80.000 for charity is still a good thing anyway)

  12. Robsessedgirl says:

    ALRIGHT I’LL ADMIT IT. IT WAS ME. I won the lottery and blew some of it on Rob. I told myself that if I make sure to bring hot pockets and wear plaid, maybe I could get him tipsy enough to let me get in his pants. THEN he’ll realize that we are obviously meant to be, and I’ll finally get to meet my beloved fluffy photobombing bunny, Tom. then Rob and I will get married. naturally. no, I didn’t spend 80 thou on this. though I so wish I did. I wonder if said person will get to meet the whole cast. I would totally want to see Jackson(side of mouth talking in person!) and punch k in the face. so dear person who did this, I hope that Rob is in a good mood that day and not awkward. try not to stare at his fingers for too long, imagining things….I know that’d be a problem for me if I met him. anyway, I am jelly.

  13. dazzledtodeath says:

    Dear Rob,
    If I ever pay $80,000 for the privilege of maybe meeting you, you’d better be prepared to re-enact some of my favorite scenes in fanfiction.

    I know you’ll make a great 50 ;),


  14. Ms. J says:

    Really now, $80,000 would buy hot pockets for quite a few homeless shelters. It could buy the needy a lot of clothes from the Salvation Army thrift store. I think the money could have been spent in much better ways if they really wanted to give it to charity.
    Now I would have spent it on air fare for my own personal stalking trip so I could get all up close & watch Rob, possibly bump into him, slip him a rufffie, drag him back to my hotel…….
    Ooops, don’t wanna get myself put on THE LIST.
    (but really WHICH charity is this?)

  15. Bea says:

    Truly, Super Sweet 16s are wasted on the 16. Of course, if we got Super Sweet 30 parties the skirts would probably be longer, the hair smaller and the cars different. “Daddy, I really really want the Audi Wagon! I’ll be so embarrassed if you get me an Odyssey!” And instead of just going to get hair and nails done, we’d be looking for lipo. And most of us would fore go the helicopter arrival in favor a contractor to paint the kitchen.

  16. robsfuturemate says:

    I think Robgirl hit the nail on the head with the mum and daughter experience! How many friends were allowed to join in this? THAT’S the scary part!

    Good luck, Rob! Let’s hope your filiming schedule is waaay to busy those two days for your sake! (that would be sad for the poor girl, but it IS stated in the agreement. *shrugs shoulders)

  17. efam says:

    “Too bad you will not have the life experience to know what to do with this man.”

    Haha!! I’m not even sure I would know what to do…I think I would just sit and stare at him.

    Is it weird that I expected it to be more? I mean, $80k is a ton of money…but I guess I just expected someone to be a little crazier.

  18. kristen's bestie says:

    I think it was Barbara Walters. Do you remember how she acted when he was on the View for Remember Me?

    And I agree with the commenters that say we have to find out who did actually did win the auction and make an epic letter!!

  19. So, there’s probably some poor human waking up in a bathtub filled with ice cubes missing their kidneys, which were sold on the black market to provide the crazy with the cash to buy a Robchance.

  20. Caitlin says:

    Really? 80k?
    Dear person who was outbid by the winner,
    Sorry you lost this auction but I have another charity for you to spend upwards to 80k on. Its called “Pay off my student loans”. I’ll even throw in a tour of the campus? Maybe lunch on campus, if I have a few extra bucks on me.
    Sincerely, Me
    If I had 80 thou to spend on an auction, I wouldn’t be a poor college student.

  21. Originally_au says:

    Ha! Shows what you guise know. It was TOTALLY James Franco.


  22. LiLi says:

    uh….I won’t even spend $30 to Jackson in Dallas on New Year’s Eve.

    and even if I had that kind of cash….uh….that would be beyond awful. me being socially awk with Ron….being socially awk….with KStew “supervising” in the corner being socially awk. er, yeah….no.

  23. roslynselene says:


    “For that kind of money I would expect to live with you in LA RENT FREE for like the next 5 years where you feed me Flaming Hot Cheetos while I watch episodes of The Office in my Hello Kitty pj’s.” And Rob needs to feed them to me while he wears nothing but a bowtie and cuffs (and mayyyybe he can wear his undies).
    “*ring ring ring*”
    “You rang?
    “Why yes I did, Jeeves.”
    “Actually, my name is Rob.”
    “Well actually, I paid $80,000 for you and I’ve decided to give you a British butler name sooooo… Let’s see if you’re worth it.”
    “*sigh* Anyway, what is it that you’d like?”
    “Jeeves, I’m bored to death watching Twilight and Stewart’s only facial expression. Her boredom is infectious. Entertain me.”
    “Ummm I–I dunno what you mean.”
    “Jeeves, I want you to call up Sturridge to come here pronto and the both of you to reenact Twilight. You play Bella–and you have to say everything in an overly dramatic girly voice–while Sturridge plays Edward. You call up Stewart and tell her you need to borrow her Eclipse wig.”
    ” 😯 Serious?”
    “I’m as serious as $80,000. Now run along, Jeeves. I don’t want to have to die of boredom. And this is out first day. We still 9,124 days to go…”

    • Robsessedgirl says:

      TOM, YOU HOMEWRECKING WHORE! ps I love you. and this comment. I can’t stop laughing.

      • roslynselene says:

        Yeah, Sturridge knows the only reason why he’s allowed in the house is because he has a penis (I’m sure Jeeves doesn’t like penis…I hope not). No other female can enter this house. It’s the rules. I make the rules and Jeeves agrees to them. I mean $80,000=Your ass is mine, bitch. : )

        • Robsessedgirl says:

          for 80k I expect him to be 50 for me. as @D2D said. and we will do that alllllllllllllllllllll day. god, what’s wrong with me. NO GIRLS IN DA HOUSE, except for Tom. I’m sure when they were really drunk they played show me yours but that’s all……..totes platonic man love.

  24. Liela says:

    Just INSANE !! I’m speechless NOW ! They’ve turned him into an object .. If this continues I wouldn’t be suprised if he kills himself in a couple o years :'( Poor Rob

  25. Cath says:

    For 80K he’ll act out any FF scenario of my choice, right??? What do you mean no? Pfffff, like I’m throwing my precious kidney money out of the window like that…And yes, it’s insane, also Rob would think your insane, charity or not…I don’t want to tell our (very much) imaginary love children later that this was the way their rich mommy met daddy…Who btw then by long divorced me and got away with most of my fortune. (Because you know I wouldn’t make Rob sign any prenup) Which he’d spend on vintage guitars and cars, and now he can’t even pay alimony and has to take on terrible scripts a la Nicholas Cage.

    See? This is def. not a good idea in any way.

    P.S. Auction winner? Call me, I heard you coul bring along 3 friends…;-)

  26. Brenn says:

    I’d rather blow 80K on a college education (or two). But maybe that’s just me crazy talking…..

  27. Cath says:

    Btw, isn’t there also another possibility of an auction winner? A ‘fabulous’ gay man who loves the Rob??? I kind of love this idea! If this is true, def. give me a call, that’s one meet and greet I want to be at! We’ll give Rob fashion tips and do his hair and nails…sigh, dreamy…(Forgive me for the terrible stereotyping!!!) I’m JK ofcourse, I think…

  28. LadyN says:

    I mean…if this 80k included some smex…. err… well… *scratches head* it’ll so be prostitution wouldn’t it?

    hmmm… I mean…I didn’t even get a Quinceanera, you know. Just a Cinderella themed house party with my sisters’ senior friends dry humping to salsa in my living room.

    err…yeah, maybe that was enough. sigh. *depressingly munches on Flaming Hot Cheetos*

  29. Blech says:

    Look…am I jealous that I don’t have this kind of money to bid…sure, but I think this is just another example of regular, every day fans getting left in the dust for opportunities like this. I think the same thing every time I go to a concert and see a bunch of people sitting in the front row who are clearly not super fans of whoever is on stage, but got their tickets because they have lots of money or know someone.

    What I think they should have done is did a drawing. They could have said for a $100 donation you will be entered in a drawing to win this set visit. That way it would have opened it up to more people at least having a chance, and chances are they would have made a hell of a lot more money getting many smaller donations, then one big auction winner. Hey…I’m sure the Gap pulls in more revenue a year with their $50 sweaters than Dolce and Gabban make selling a few $20,000 dresses…just sayin’.

  30. maggie says:

    It’s a good thing I didn’t go through with my plan to take out a second mortgage on the house (without telling the hubs, of course), because, while I was working on it, I found out I could only get a max of $79,999. What a bummer that would have been. Seriously though, (seriously though??), for $80,000, Rob would have to spend a long weekend with me in that luxurious hotel (forget those 3 friends!) and play 50shades until I said the “secret word”. hmm… I think I like “glitter lube”. Then we’d get In-n-Out Burgers with fries flown up and eat them while he sang “Let Me Sign” to me while wearing the Stoli shirt which will somehow magically reappear.

    Wow. This is fun………….

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Maggie, I love your scenario! But since you don’t want 3 friends there, how about one who will fly over the In-N-Out?!?! And I bet I could make the Stoli shirt magically disappear again (at least for an hour or so)!

      • maggie says:


        I was all set to say, “hmph, no, I won’t share!”, but you got me with the poofing of the stoli shirt. Okay, you’re in. (just don’t tell anyone else – it’ll just be you, me, Rob, the guitar, the In-n-Out stuff, 50’s playtoys, some glitter lube, and the stoli shirt thrown on floor.)

        • robsfuturemate says:

          One of the (many)things I’ve learned at LTR is “sharing is caring”! But, I also know the reality is that most of us wouldn’t share given the opportunity! 😉 It’s okay to dream though!

  31. JOANNE says:

    ROBERT IS 100% WORTH IT!!!

  32. Mieze says:

    80000$…holy sh*t! Seriously, charity or not, if I imagine someone would spent so much money to meet me I would totally think it is crazy! On the other hand if someone has so many bugs and is able to do whatever he/she wants to do with it…you only live once 😉

  33. real says:

    Paul Makrtni got 130,000$

  34. natteringyeahrobber says:

    For 80K, I’d have to demand several conditions. First, he’d have to forgo cigarettes for at least 48 hours before said weekend. I’m worried the cigarette smell in his clothes and hair would ruin the experience for me, I’m really sensitive to smell. Second, I’d have to be guaranteed at least dinner with him, alone, in his room, and no kstew chaperoning, and preferably no food (again, sensitive to smell, especially food smells in hotel rooms). Third, the lights would have to be really bloody dim at all times so he wouldn’t notice my droopy 39 year old chin nor my colossal “librarian eye bags.” And fourth, nevermind any of these conditions, if I had 80K to blow, I’d be happy if I could just link pinkies with him for 20 seconds. I would then have more kids just to have more grandkids I could pester with the “pinky link with robert pattinson” story for the rest of my days on the planet (rob pattinwho?grandma, no one knows who that is, he’s that dweeb from that horrible crappy vampire series, right?)

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