Coming out of the Robsessed closet

I (UC) have spent the weekend with my college roommate who is visiting from Nashville. While she’s a Twilight fan & enjoys Rob Pattinson- she is NOT a fan like I am! I thought this “How I Fell For Rob” fan letter was quite appropriate for today. Also, I’ve spent the last 48 hours reminiscing that one weekend in college when roommate & I only left the apartment ONCE to feed ourselves & spent the rest of the time being in love with Adam Brody on The OC. Yes, we’ve spent the weekend indoors watching Season 1. Mr. Choice is proud to be my husband this weekend.

Dear Rob,

After one year of silent suffering I decided to come out of the
Robsessed closet (okay I know this blog is anonymous). I believe the I
Should come clean and confess, to my friends, its is you I run home to
after a shitty day and suppose I’ll get to that later today.

But the first thing I feel I need to do is apologize to you. Oh Rob,
I’m sorry I haven’t been brave enough to let the world now only you
can satisfy me enough to keep the box of chocolates intact after three
hours of running after a toddler in a crowded park.

Since the first time I put my eyes on you I couldn’t get you out of
head. The thought of you swimming naked on a lake (thank you, Dalí)
keeps me warm in all the right places. At first I thought it was just
lust, but I heard you singing and I couldn’t deny I’d been captured.

I believe I must be in love with you; and I tell you I feel like an
out of place Juliet. No, my parents don’t have anything to say about
my… hum…connection to you. For one, I don’t have to listen to my
parents since I’m over thirty.

However, I do feel peer pressure and it is hard to keep my one sided
relationship with you from my closest friends, but I do it out of
love. They can be mean.

Something wrong with ME!?

Sweetie, there is nothing wrong with you, nothing remotely wrong with
you. The problem is me. Really! Being part of a well educated, raised
in privilege, very well read, well traveled, holders of masters
degrees group of confident women has some downsides. We are all very
critical of the type of men one in our group might chose to get
involved with. Trust me, we are involved.

A couple of years ago, when I first mentioned your name after watching
“Little Ashes” by myself on a Saturday evening, I got them curious.
They wanted to see the face of the boy who had kept me up all night
googling pictures and movie credits.

In hindsight, I was a little naive throwing you to the lions before
doing a background check. I spoke of you not having researched your
age, not taking into consideration your lack of
experience with this specific crowd and so forth. My dearest Rob,
these women are movie critics, journalists and social media experts.
Half an hour after I left my friends watch me melt over the mere sound
of your name; phone calls, im messages, emails and tweets poured into
my blackberry.

Mostly they were making fun of our age difference, and I would have
been ready for it had I know you were so young, but what really got to
me was how they ridiculed me for falling for a Hollywood star on the
rise, someone the masses had already claimed their own.

Please, Rob, understand my background before you judge me. In my world
it is not considered cool to follow any trends, and if we must pick a
Hollywood star to be dazzled by I would have to say the man du jour
would be Javier Bardem.

To my friends you are just a not very clean looking twenty something
who plays a teenage vampire, they don’t care that your face was
designed to achieve perfection. They don’t see the importance of being
hypnotized by a voice that was made to make girl feel tingly inside.

I went home defeated. These women are hard to impress, they have lunch
with governors and ministers for crying out loud. I googled you one
more time and painfully said my goodbyes, there was no room for you in
my life.

I bid you farewell gifting us with a night of mind blowing imaginary
sex (God must have been in love at the time he made you – guess He was
showing off, trying to impress someone.)

Gotta zip up- no more drooling for you

The next morning, I woke up determined to detox you out of my system:
No drooling over you Dossier pictures – Yummy!; no Twilight movies,
books, chat rooms, nothing; no sound of your voice in a human hearing
ration. I had to cut you out of my life if I wanted to earn my friends
respect again.

My first relapse happened 72 hours after my first day of detox. I
missed you dearly and I thought if I could just take a bath listening
to you singing live at Whiskey a Go-Go, rehab would still be on track
and I’d feel so alive again. Man, I could be blind and you would still
make me wanna la la.

Next thing I know, I was all “Fuck this – why fight the devil when
burning feels so good, right?” I got over my desire to rehabilitate
myself of Robamine addiction and decided I could have you all to
myself and still keep my friends thinking I was the coolest in the
group, I just had to face the facts.

FACT. I couldn’t get over you if my life depended on it. FACT. The
sound of your voice makes me tingle in weird places. And FACT. Oh how
I could just look at your face all day long if I didn’t have a staff
of 14 people to manage.

So I made peace with my current predicament and came up with a new
plan, a better plan: I would protect you from their men eating
jeopardy using an alias for you. I could still have the pleasure of
sharing with my friends my fantasies of all the very bad things I’d to
you were we ever in the same room together.

Rob, I won’t lie to you. At least for the time being, I’ll keep our
relationship a secret, but just know this: I am very sorry, I must
pretend its Jon Stewart I daydream about, I feel extremely guilty when
I come home at night and face you on my computer screen. It’s like I
cheated on you and I could swear one night you looked like you knew I
was ashamed to let the world know I love you, but, baby, the world
isn’t ready for us.

Maybe one day society will be able to accept a woman like me loving a
boy such as yourself. Maybe then my snobby friends will get over the
whole “fast rising star” label and respect my love for you because it
will last forever – as long as in my head I can keep you as
intellectually gifted as Anderson Cooper. Just for tonight, its girl’s
night out, I’ll describe in detail how every inch of my body begs for
a taste of you and by the way, I’ll call you Bill Maher.

Love always,

@sweetsecondlife

I know you have pals that aren’t as into Rob as you are- do they get it at all? Or do you have to fake it around them? Do you hide the Robsession?? Or do you just pretend he’s someone else that is more “acceptable” to crush on!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

125 Responses to “Coming out of the Robsessed closet”

  1. Aeren says:

    I never was in the closet, but people look at me weird and my husband hates Rob,LMAO,

  2. minuit_passe says:

    Ah memories, memories of when I was crazy…I mean in love.
    Ditto on hype smart-y people, how can you talk about it apart from some (drunk) joke of the DILF kind (not including very close friends with whom my embarrassment factor knows no limits). Funny thing though, for frequenting pretty much the same “milieu” though younger, Rob would not be a “not so clean” guy, but a too clean, too polished Zac Efron Hillywood guy.

  3. melronin says:

    Dear Rob

    They can say whatever they want…I don’t care…I love you!
    I call you my baby and everybody (misteriously) knows that I am talking about you!

    I don’t need to justify my love or my crazyness to the world!
    In fact I see it as a compliment when they call me a nut! I so don’t want to be normal!!!

    You make me happy…and that’s all!!!

    <3
    Mel

  4. robgirl86 says:

    “To my friends you are just a not very clean looking twenty something who plays a teenage vampire, they don’t care that your face was designed to achieve perfection. They don’t see the importance of being hypnotized by a voice that was made to make girl feel tingly inside.”

    L.M.A.O..this made me laugh soooo much…perfectly written!!!!

    As for myself I’m over every “closet-problem”…I just love who I wanna love!!!

    Can’t take my eyes away from those legssssssssss…… 🙂

  5. robsfuturemate says:

    As I’ve mentioned before, I’m def out of the closet! But there are some things that are just better not mentioned. The Robporn for one, no one really needs to know what’s on my flashdrive! And it’s def better to find someone who at least can kinda relate to talk about these things. (a Jackson or Taylor-lover perhaps) The thing with Rob is the word-vomit, it reeks havoc on my life. I just laugh it off now, cause what’s the use in trying to explain! And stupid OK magazine! My friends always use quote them to tell me of your “status”. Ugh!

    Oh well, it’s easier to be out than try and keep it a secert. I’m just enjoying it!!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Oh btw, that’s what I love about LTR. There are so many woman of different ages from different walks of life that are having the same experience as me. We are NORMAL!!! It’s a great support group to come and talk to about this taboo subject and you get some good Robporn too! Thanks ladies for the friendships!!

      • kristen's bestie says:

        And that’s what I love about LTR… I can come here and the LTR gals will tell me I’m normal. While the BFF’s tell me I have issues. Those closest to me know about my Robsession and just make fun, while those that are just good friends I’m “in the closet”.

    • LatersBaby says:

      YES. I have people asking me if I knew R & S were getting married and that she might be pg! Must I tell them that this is certainly NOT true and thereby revealing how deeply I have fallen into this universe? Catch-22…damn you Summit!

  6. unpetitpeuk says:

    “For one, I don’t have to listen to my
    parents since I’m over thirty.” 🙂

  7. natteringyeahrobber says:

    I’m new to the Rob party too. I don’t know how to act. I don’t want to tell anyone for fear of getting endless Rob P. gag gifts for the rest of my days. The Rob P. Mattel doll, Twilight band-aids, Twilight mugs and the like.

    • mine!mine!mine! says:

      don’t forget the twilight tampon holder…*shakes head in bewilderment*……

      Seriously, seriously!!!!!!

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        ….plus Etsy has made it so easy to purchase gag gifts. One of my younger pals is out of the Rob closet and everyone looks down on her obsession with pity and/or scorn. She’s got the scarlet R on her forehead, front and center — she has a “drawer of shame” full of lame Twilight-related merchandise that has been given to her over the years. Once I think she picked up on the fact that I might be hot and bothered by him too, and she discreetly queried me about it. I feel bad for denying any obsesion, but on the other hand, I don’t want Edward themed garbage crowding up my Christmas stocking.

        • The Old One says:

          The Scarlet R! That’s such a good image!
          Ah, but you could have admitted it to your friend, she would understand more than anyone why you want to keep the obsession under wraps?

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            If I had admitted to her, she would have blabbermouthed to everyone. Her husband, my husband, and anyone else who knows me. She would gladly give up some of the Scarlet R heat she’s been subjected to for years, even if (or especially if) it meant I’d have to take endless hits for it. Oh….it would be a juicy one for her. Cannot give her that pleasure.

    • SweetSecondLife says:

      I LOVE “the Scarlet R”.

  8. Janetrigs says:

    Sweet

  9. swenjagrey says:

    First I was a closet fan then my fiance found all my Robpics on my Computer now evertime he sees Rob on Tv or Magazine ,,Look hun theres your man“ ;D

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      yah, this is what i’m trying to avoid. i don’t want people to post hot rob photos to my FB page, you know? my parents read my FB page. my ex-assistant reads my FB page. countless old classmates and bosses read my FB page and they all think i’m pretty professional. not wanting to blow that cover. do i want jumping rob meme next to a posting about a supreme court opinion? no, i do not. well, i do, just not on my fb page.

  10. alice_av says:

    I def out of the closet, no matter what I love u Rob =D

  11. Biel says:

    Believe it or not, I’m still in the closet and due to very similar reasons. But clandestineness adds a dash of excitement to “relationships”… (no matter the extremely one-sided thing)

  12. Robsessedgirl says:

    I’ve loved Rob for about 4 years, and I’ve never been in the closet about it. I wear my tweedserious shirt and do my Rob voice like no one’s business, and people make fun of me all day. I used to care, but now I don’t give a f**k. I have two cardboard cutouts (the NM one where he looks constipated, and the Eclipse one where he looks forlorn about saying no to sexytime) and I take pictures with them. I forget what it’s like to have a life….I spend all my time on tumblr, you know, being a boss and reblogging Rob awesomeness. and on twitter. but you guys keep me(arguably) sane. I love you all.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      “the NM one where he looks constipated, and the Eclipse one where he looks forlorn about saying no to sexytime” – lmao. those are seriously the two cardboard cutouts I would have on my desk, if i ever came out of the closet and could deal with the constant humiliation. well, those two cutouts plus one of Edward in his car, receiving the stink eye from Billy Black.

    • southernbelle says:

      Honey you don’t need to be in the closet because you are so much younger than all of us here! XO

  13. luvedwardlongtime says:

    Oh My darling, how I wish the other people in my life appreciated you. At the same time, I’m glad they don’t, that’s more for me! I tried to come out of the closet but I was laughed at. People asked me how I suddenly became a 12 year old girl. My husband has seen me watch a video or two of you but has no idea the depth of our relationship. I sometimes wonder if it’s wrong what we have, but then I read LTR…my bible and everything is okay. The way I look at it…everything happens for a reason right? If no other man, either that I’ve met in person or seen on TV has given me what you have then who cares, we were meant to me!

    • unpetitpeuk says:

      What you just said there “At the same time, I’m glad they don’t, that’s more for me!”, for a super weird reason feels so normal! Please, I don’t want my real life friends ogling (making fun isn’t an option!) at Rob. What good would that make? For me, less is more when it comes to that! They can come with me to the cinema and watch all of his movies, but I don’t need to see RobPornLusting in their eyes! And I certainly don’t want them to find out why I giggle every time I hear the word “cheeseburgers” or listen to “Personal Jesus”, or why my english got so much better #FanFiction. Nope, that’s all for me. And it’s normal!

  14. tupelohoney says:

    Yep, still in the closet. The very few folks that know (the small part that I let them know about) think I’m strange…. a woman my age drooling over a 24 year old…

    My birthday is this week. I won’t say how old (but just maybe I was a sophomore in high school when Rob was born). Anyway, I put the Rob “Happy Birthday Cupcake” manip as background on both my laptop and my desktop. And I don’t care who sees it…. I think…..

    • melronin says:

      Happy Birthday tupelo honi! Who cares how old we are?
      We are all 24….growing old with Rob…that’s all that matters!
      XOXO

    • robgirl86 says:

      Happy Birthday Tupelo and…age is just a number baby!

    • southernbelle says:

      Happy birthday! Where ya been? Email me :). How’s life in TN?

    • tupelohoney says:

      Thanks for the birthday wishes!!

      SB: I’m still here, just not as much as before. RL gets in the way.
      Things are good in TN except I’m about to freeze my lil butt off!!! What happened? I thought our hot, sultry South wasn’t supposed to get this cold!! lol.

      Will email you soon.

      • southernbelle says:

        I know doggone it, the past few years the winters are getting progressively worse(colder and more snow) in KY. Might have to buy a snowblower soon haha!

        OK darlin, email me, keep me posted. I’m on twitter too btw, did you open an account yet?

      • RobsFan-tasy says:

        happy Birthday Tupelohun! we’re close in age. thanks for saying that. I was wondering if I was the oldest one here1

  15. natteringyeahrobber says:

    “These women are hard to impress, they have lunch
    with governors and ministers for crying out loud.” But what good is being literate and having connections if none of those literate connections can bring you to Rob? I mean, seriously, if I slept with the right people at my job I could maybe meet Glenn Close, Robin Williams, and mayyyyybe Rahm Emanuel. All three are old farts who have no connection to Rob P., though I suspect Glenn Close might be able to use some of her scary star power to get him in a film with her. So basically, it’s pointless to be connected if connections don’t lead to Rob, no?

    • The Old One says:

      I have spent more time than I should have thinking about the “six degrees of separation” I might have with Rob–who do I know in LA or London or Baton Rouge who knows somebody who knows somebody, and thinking about the what-ifs, if I had the cojones. Really, it’s only a matter of how much we are willing to follow through. . . .

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Right, I can just see myself following through with Glenn Close. Me to Glenn: “You must have to be discreet”/Glenn: “Oh god, not that line from that movie again”/Me: “Are You? Because I need you to get me into Rob Pattinson’s pants, you are my only hope, as pathetic as that sounds”/Glenn: (….silence while she texts my husband and her agent about what I just asked of her). The End.

      • I've been Robbed says:

        Totally with you on the 6 degrees of separation! Just like the 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon movie game, ha, ha. I’ve come up with a few lame far-off ones, like how I have relatives in Montreal, would have loved to been able to drop by for a visit when Rob was up there! And some of my ancestors being from England, well, doesn’t that just earn me a few degrees toward Rob? Please?

      • robsfuturemate says:

        How’s this for 6 degree’s:

        My friend’s,aunt’s, friend’s daughter is….Mackenzie Foy(reneseme)!!!!! And I will most likely never meet her, let alone Rob!

        Here’s another one:

        A co-worker’s sister-in-law had Rob, Kristen, Jackson and Ashley on her flight to Baton Rouge. (she’s an airline stewardess and didn’t even know who they were!)

        So close, yet sooooooooo far away!!

        • minuit_passe says:

          ANd that’s ALL you say about it?!? We NEED details: did TayTay ask every 5 minutes for a meat pack? Did Rob get stuck in the toilets? You know, IMPORTANT DETAILS

          • robsfuturemate says:

            The only important detail I heard was that Jackson spilled red wine on another guest (some african american singer, my co-worker didn’t really know)! Poor Jackson, the guy was trying not to be mad cause his “girlfriend’s been taking him to church.” lol
            I’ll try to scoop out more details today!!! 🙂

        • I've been Robbed says:

          Very close! We’re good enough to be 3rd cousins once removed, don’t you think? Oh wait, I don’t want to be related, then we couldn’t do anything!

    • minuit_passe says:

      “only a matter of how much you want to fallow through”

      Oh Hai people who meet Rob, can I join you, like that, out of the blue? I just feel the urge to be around you. It will be our chance to get to know each other better. Also, for the occasion, can you please be dead drunk so you don’t remember how I embarass myself and still consider me afterwards for any work opportunities like I were NORMAL which consequently will give me the precious opportunity to still take my face out in the city? Thanks, you’re a doll.

  16. robgirl86 says:

    I was thinking if maybe Rob has somehow the same issue some of us have, to be in the closet with us LTR ladies, or does he talk to Tom about all these great letters admitting he reads us? Come on Rob, come out of our closet, it’s time…haha

  17. Cazza says:

    Er, I think my friends know and you know what, I don’t care what they think. Yes, I’m in my late 30’s and according to society you are supposed to act a certain way as you get older. Well, screw that, I’m having more fun with this whole thing than I did with my 80’s crushes. Yes, I’ll admit, I’m not as obsessive anymore with looking at pics etc. but give me an opportunity to spend time with a fun bunch of girls whilst searching for a needle in a haystack and I’m in!!!

    Case in point, I’ve just returned from a rather unsuccessful mission to Baton Rouge to meet you Ron but we had some classic girlie moments along the way in trying to find you. We visted the places you have been seen in and now understand why there have been no photos of you in these bars. The customers who frequent these establishments probably wouldn’t even give you, yes you, a second glance.

    We even set stalked by entering an apartment complex opposite the buildings, had cameras at the ready and were slumped in our seats like paps. Of course, we failed since you weren’t even on set that day but we had a giggle. And we fail as paps, we got bored after an hour and left for food and drink.

    So anyways, sod everyone else and have fun!!!!

    x

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Yes Cazza, I so agree with you! Sometimes the adventures (as I call them) are just as fun because you are with friends! (But Rob it’s okay to show yourself to the LTR girls, btw)

    • LatersBaby says:

      Cazza,

      I’ve been wanting to chat with someone who tried the BR/BD adventure. Were there many other groups there? A place where people camped out in hopes of a glimpse?

  18. MidnightCougar says:

    As I’ve said before I’m definitely NOT in the Robsessed Closet. My hubby was just laughing at me this weekend b/c I put a new pic of Rob on my phone (this one) – http://hollywooddame.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Robert-Pattinson-Sexy-Photos.jpg – & he said, “I see you have a new Rob pic to drool over on your phone?”, for which I replied, “Yes, he looks so sexy in that pic.” 🙂 He just laughs at me. But, when it comes to my friends, even though they all know of my adoration for all things Robert Pattinson, “These women are hard to impress…” – I totally get this statement. There are only a select few who share my Robpassions, so I don’t get to talk about him like I do here at LTR. I love you gals. Happy Monday. xo MC

    btw, I thought this was a great letter. Just do what you have to do @sweetsecondlife to keep yourself happy with Rob.

  19. Brenn says:

    I am never coming out of the closet. I am just too obsessed, and I think my husband would have me committed.

    So as payment for my devotion, Rob will just have to join me in the closet. Fair enough. 😉

  20. roslynselene says:

    Haha! I love this letter. What a coincidence. Yesterday, while at my aunt’s house my tween cousins started talking Twilight and what “team” they were on. They were arguing over who’s hotter and who’s better blah blah blah. I kept quite cause c’mon, I’m an adult. Adults don’t talk about vampire movies with kids who like Justin Bieber.

    My father, who was listening near by, pointed at me and said, “Who wants to guess what team she’s on?” Everyone stared at me, even my cousins my age, wanting to know what my answer was. One of them guessed Jacob, the other guessed Edward, the oldest one shouted “Channing Tatum!” No, no, and no. Then my dad said, “You’re all wrong. She’s Team Robert Pattinson!” Oh.My.God…he didn’t just do that, this didn’t just happen, not in front of everyone. I must be dreaming…NOPE! That did just happen. I saw the 12 y/o make a face of disgust and said, “I hate Robert Pattinson. I only like him as Edward.” The other one said, “He needs to shower. And don’t you know he’s married to Kristen Stewart?” Haha! Someone has been reading OK magazine. I laughed and played along, “Yeah, I heard she was pregnant and that they were gonna name their child Renesme or something.” All the tweenies were like, “Really?! Are you guys serious?!” And with that, all the attention was off me. It was terrible and I wanted to crawl into a hole. Thank god no one questioned me why I was “Team Robert”.

    • kristen's bestie says:

      At least you didn’t tell them they have a bearskin rug and like to build hot pocket forts!

      • roslynselene says:

        LMAO Yeah, that would have gotten me a few “WTF” looks. No need to go into detail about my “crazy stalker tendencies”.

    • southernbelle says:

      Your dad sounds like my mom(my mom’s worse). She has zero filter! She embarrasses me too, uggh and now she has an inkling of my Robsession since she saw my Robporn file.

      • roslynselene says:

        IKR? He always teases me but this is the first time he mentions Rob in public. :facepalm:. Let’s return the embarrassment by telling those, “Remember that really embarrassing time when…” stories in front of the family next time they decide to talk about our Robsession. Lol

  21. southernbelle says:

    “Since the first time I put my eyes on you I couldn’t get you out of
    head. The thought of you swimming naked on a lake (thank you, Dalí)”

    Honey I can relate! I have the same thoughts!

    I’m still in my closet, for the most part. I don’t even mention Rob. I don’t know why I feel embarrassed, does age factor in it? I’m older than him but not much. But still I feel like a cradle-snatcher. I look really young too so he probably won’t even think I’m older than him, but still, I don’t know, I know what you mean. Still not willing to come out. I had to deny myself of Rob(gasp) and I got to a point, well that’s pointless! It’s too hard to avoid him and it’s too hard to give him up!

    I’m cherishing Rob for as long as I can, in my own world, away from prying eyes and judgmental people LOL.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Age factors into it for sure, especially if you are old enough to be his mother (as I am, barely, but still). To me, that’s the difference between delusional and freakish; you are “cute-n-delusional” if you are at an age where you could be his older sister, cousin, or youngish aunt. Rob-lust is considered “pathetic-n-freakish” if you could actually be his mother.

      • southernbelle says:

        I’m the same age as one of his sisters, so it’s feeling a little creepy LOL. I remember when I was 16 my boyfriend was 18 and his little sister was the same age as me. So it’s kind of like the same feeling. I don’t know, why but it just feels that way. Oh well, he doesn’t need to know how old I am. 🙂

        Plus I’m married and I have a kid. Ahhhh I hate feeling like a mother crushing on a hot smexy 24 year old British actor LOL. If I ever go to any fan event (which I won’t) I think I’ll need a mask.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          I was sorta hoping something romantic would develop between Rob and Reese on the set of Water for Elephants, just because Reese is old, like me. It would mean he was open to older women. I guess he could still go after Uma in Bel Ami, and she’s even older than I am – that would be a total victory. It would be Rob telling the world that older women with kids have a chance with him.

          • southernbelle says:

            Well didn’t he say something about liking older women? LOL like once he said something about Betty White!

  22. maggie says:

    Dear Rob:

    I think I was already a mom when you were born, but let’s not go there. I’ve gotten over worrying about the perv factor by telling myself it’s all fantasy anyway as I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of actually talking to you, let alone doing anything else. I’m mostly in the closet, meaning, the full extent of my adoration is not known, just that “mom has a thing for Robert Pattinson” (picture daughter’s eyes rolling). If they knew how much of my life revolved around your life, they’d have me committed instantly! You bring so much happiness into my life and make me feel like a 24 year old again, so I say “poo on them”. I will continue to love and worship you from afar. Thank goodness for all the LTR ladies who remind me that I’m really very norma!!

    • The Old One says:

      Except for the mom-when-he-was-born part, I could have written this!
      Your sister in normality.

    • Brenn says:

      I agree 100% Maggie. ‘Poo on them’.

      Age is just a number baby!

    • tatteredsheets says:

      There are two things I can do to make my 30-something self feel young again. The first is to put my hair back in barrettes. Preferably french, preferably tortoise shell, but whatever is on sale at Walgreens will do. For some reason, the mere act of putting a barrette (or two) in my hair makes me feel 10 years younger (maybe because I lived in barrettes from age 2-6). The second thing is to envision myself sitting on Rob’s lap, telling him all the things I want for ….(insert holiday or day of the week or minute of the hour here). Yah, that does it for sure…. 🙂

  23. southernbelle says:

    Dear Rob,

    Since I’m in the closet, would you come and join me in here? We can keep each other warm and toasty *wink. We could play some silly high school game.

    Love,
    SB

    • roslynselene says:

      7 min in heaven? Make that 7 lifetimes in heaven. 😉

      • southernbelle says:

        Apparently someone was offended by my comment. OOppps, I see no harm in it! Loosen up a little whoever you are! 🙂

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          I just re-read the posting and noticed the last line “every inch of my body begs for
          a taste of you and by the way, I’ll call you Bill Maher” – hilarity. I don’t think Bill Maher and “body begs” belong in the same sentence, much less same letter. But I think Bill Maher would understand if I pushed him aside (waaaaay aside) for Rob. He’s cool like that.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          oops sorry my reply re: bill maher above was out of place. meant to start new thread. new person alert!!! i’m an idiot! anywho, i think whomever was offended by the seven minutes comment was just jealous that you claimed it first. i would take 7 minutes. i’d be a muttering, shaking wreck the rest of my life, but i’d take it.

        • MidnightCougar says:

          Well, I <3 your comment!. Let's start a list of sex-games to play with Rob in the closet, we could even use a blindfold to start! lmao

  24. robsfuturemate says:

    I just wanted to tell you ladies that my 4 yr old nephew told me “it’s okay to kiss Robert Pattinson.” (I won’t go into the whole story of how this came up, but HE brought it up!) When asked why, he said simply, “Because you like him.” So when I see Rob I’m gonna let him know that I have permission from my nephew to kiss him, lol!!

    • southernbelle says:

      LOL. DD(she’s 3) asked me a couple of days ago out of the blue if I wanted to marry Rob! Haha. It was so random! So I was like, “ummm, yeah sure.” I mean who’d say no right? Then 5 minutes later she started chanting “you’re gonna marry Rob.” Oh dear. 🙂 I said yes I am just make sure not to tell your father!

      Kids say the cutest things!

      • robsfuturemate says:

        So adorable!
        But if you want to stay in the closet, my advice is don’t tell a preschooler!! They tell their teacher’s EVERYTHING! (especially as prayer requests. you don’t want to know the stories I’ve heard) 🙂

        • southernbelle says:

          I didn’t tell her but she’s so smart and she put two and two together LOL. She’s seen me looking at pictures and videos of Rob before :).

  25. SweetSecondLife says:

    To all of you in the closet with me, let’s hope Rob comes join us… LOL

    love

    • tatteredsheets says:

      I’d like to think that some of the thumbs up points in the postings here actually come from Rob. In my mind, they do. If I was some demi-god hot ass celebrity, I’d check out the smart fan pages from time to time. Certainly there are times at night that he’s had too much to drink/too many Pepperoni Hot Pockets and can’t sleep out of fear vomiting, right? I was 24 once, it happens (heck, it happened last year), I understand. I can’t tell you how many postings I’ve made when the fear of vomiting had me in a total internet stranglehold. I’m sure his agent and manager have told him not to respond and it could even be in his contract to avoid commenting on fan sites. But maybe he’s allowed to at least gives us thumbs up from time to time. Even when sober/zero HP blood content. I’m sure he does.

  26. Mieze says:

    Oh my, how many times did I discuss this issue with a good friend of mine two years ago. While I never considered it a bad thing to adore Rob, she was totally devasted about the fact that liking someone like him was a waste of time and emotions. She was in that weird, guilty, imnotnormal kind of feeling, while I was just enjoying it. At the end, I guess, it´s just about what you exspect and how you define your fandom. Droling about Rob doesn´t mean I´m waiting for him to show up on my doorframe, wait did I really said that 😉 Or need to meet him- I def not mean thatLOL but I once met a famous person I really liked and reality wasn´t what I thought it should be 😉
    I explained to my educated, very well read, well traveled, holders of masters degrees group of confident women that even if you are all that you still have the right to have a world inside you that allows you to be just a 16 year old lusting teenage. How else are we going to survive reality 😉

  27. LatersBaby says:

    Today the friend who introduced me Twilight figured out my screen name. She’s been trying to guess it for months. She’s cyber stalking me as we speak. I’m so embarrassed. I am totally in the closet. When I occasionally get caught, I say it’s research.

    • Mieze says:

      Don’t be embarrassed, hun. It’s one thing to be in the closet, but a total other thing if you try to get into another persons privacy by stalking a screen name. I don’t mean any offense here, just trying to tell that this is not something you should do…

      • LatersBaby says:

        Mieze,
        Sorry, maybe I made this sound worse than I intended. She and I are very good friends. She lurks where I post and she’s been trying to figure out who I might be here–trying to figures it out by the comments and by a screen name that I would use. Yesterday we were talking about the latest chapter of MotU and when she left she said, “Laters, Baby” (from MotU). A few minutes later, she figured it out. No real cyber stalking.

  28. Alex says:

    Best way to come out of the closet is to get your friends in to the closet. If you are up for some competition you can try converting into robssessed.

    I got some of my friends to watch Robs interviews- Mags and Utube…..now they are ROBSSESSED. I didn’t have to do anything….Rob did all the hard work…like running down the alleyways and hiding in the dumpsters.lol

    I just love him for making me happy. I dearly miss him these days and eagerly waiting for WFE teaser trailer.

    BTW I am glad that most of you have bigger problem than I do. You guys make me feel completely NORMAL.

    • I've been Robbed says:

      I sort of came out of the closet, to one friend. She seemed interested in the idea, she overheard me talking with my one known twilight friend. But I think I got her thinking- she had written a paper in college about vampire movies, so maybe she’ll start reading the books and that will be the end…. I mean the BEGINNING.

  29. LatersBaby says:

    Dear Rob,
    I handed in my final grades last night and you treated me by being in my dream–thank you.

    In case you don’t remember, I went to see you in a very small play. The theatre sat may 100 people. You played some dark MC type character who spoke directly to the audience (a la Cabaret). You were supposed to talk to everyone in the audience, but you primarily spoke to me. During intermission you came out and told me that you went to this Chinese place on South Street I should try sometime. (South Street? We were in Philadelphia). I drank a gin and tonic during the second act, waiting for you. There’s more, but I’ve used enough service space with this already.

    • LatersBaby says:

      hmmm, thumbs down.
      *drinking coffee, feeling perplexed”

    • I've been Robbed says:

      Awesome dream! And in Philly, I used to work there- maybe some of that dream will leak over to me? But I think we’d have to go to the Morrocan restaurant, I don’t know if it’s still there, off South, where we can eat with our hands and lick eachothers fingers! Whoa, better stop there.

  30. tatteredsheets says:

    My love for Rob dares not speak its name. But ohhh ohhh ohh how it thinks its name. A lot. Actually, when I pass people on the street, I’m always a little pissed off if the person I’m passing is not Rob. Sure, what are the chances of him walking down some street in downtown San Francisco? Has he ever even been to San Francisco? I don’t remember ever seeing any photos of him here. I think long ago he planned to do some tour here but then cancelled. He must hate the idea of even coming here; and who the hell never comes to San Francisco, especially if they have oodles of cash. It’s not far from LA, especially by private jet. Most pubs here serve cheeseburgers. Alas, I’ve seen no sexy Rob head poking through the bars at Alcatraz. No Rob standing on a cable car as he nobly looks toward the foggy Pacific Ocean. No Rob hanging out in the corner of some red-vinyl-booth dive bar, flaunting his cigarette in a no-cigarette zone. Is he too good for this town? Sometimes I try to talk myself out of loving him because he’s snobbery towards my city is unattractive. But then I still look for him, through the fog, through the rain, in every cheeseburger serving establishment I go to.

    • maggie says:

      That was really beautifully written, tattered. It’s like a love poem. Good job.

      • tatteredsheets says:

        Thanks. 🙂 I remember my old English lit professor telling me that all the most memorable love poems have numerous references to cheeseburgers. I just took it up a notch and threw Rob in there too, which technically makes it a lust poem.

  31. maggie says:

    I just found this amazing picture of Rob holding Alex Rice (Sue Clearwater’s) baby. I hope it comes through.
    **dead**

    http://spunks-girls.popsugar.com/Adorable-Pic-from-Breaking-Dawn-set-12598326

    • tatteredsheets says:

      He looks great holding that baby. Is it just me or is that baby totally checking him out? Most babies go out of their way to find their mom’s face, but that baby clearly has her eyes on Rob’s face. Can’t blame her. Babies do like sparkly things (sorry, couldn’t resist).

      • maggie says:

        LOL! I didn’t notice the baby’s face. I guess I was too busy flapping around because of FINALLY finding a new photo of The Pretty. That baby’s face is probably what my face would look like if I got close to him. Of course, if I was THAT close, I would have already fainted.

        Looks like there may be a new Robsessed fan in the making.

        • tatteredsheets says:

          “Looks like there may be a new Robsessed fan in the making.” – Yah, one day she’s gonna lord that whole “I was tenderly held by Rob in my formative years” thing over us. And she has photo proof.

  32. Mieze says:

    Good morning girls,

    did you already see the teaser from WFE:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdx91yiDz98&feature=player_embedded

    I´m jumping up and down here. Seems like I´m more exited and waiting for that movie than for Christmas. Sorry Santa, I stoped believing in you but don´t worry I found a worthy, good looking, long-legged replacment with beatiful hands which…sorry, got carried away here 😉

    And Reece, sweetheart, I so which I were your hand at 0:23 *sigh*

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Can you imagine the acting directions? “Put hand in Rob’s neck, caressing it as if you wanted to take him there, right now even if the elephants are watching.” I think I might even be able to get my husband into the theaters for WFE…he refused to see any of the Twilight series. While my husband will be sitting there trying to appreciate the story and acting (Christopher Waltz will no doubt be stellar in his now-typecasted bad guy role) I will be off in Rob la-la-effin-la-la land.

      • Mieze says:

        “Put hand in Rob’s neck, caressing it as if you wanted to take him there, right now even if the elephants are watching.”

        ROFL natteringyeahrobber, you want to kill me right 😉

  33. nettie says:

    All I could think while reading was, “man, she has some elitist, boring friends!” I mean, come on…Bill Maher & Jon Stewart? Totally predictable for those types who fancy themselves intellectually superior simply because of their “breeding” or level of educational degree. I would find new friends, and that has nothing to do with their shunning of Rob. 😉

    That said, I’m in the closet and will remain there. None of my RL friends can even understand my reading of/watching the Twilight series, so much less a crush on the actor who happens to be 13 years younger than I. They wouldn’t even know who Rob is if I said his name. It’s why I come here every day- to remind myself that I’m normal. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I love watching Jon Stewart and Bill Maher and appreciate their minds and humor. But minds and humor only go so far in fantasyland. I don’t want to think about Bill Maher whispering a joke about Obama’s carbon credit proposal in my ear, as we relax on a eco-friendly couch, envisioning a fire that isn’t there because it’s a spare-the-air day. And as fun as Stewart is to watch, it’s hard for me to drool over the thought “knocking mugs” with him on his set. If I had to go “age appropriate” I guess I’d have to go for Johnny Depp. He was hot when he was Rob’s age and he’s hot now (unless he’s wearing too much eyeliner, that is). I’m guessing Rob will follow a similar progression, in terms of career. Start out doing teen stuff, move into more serious territory, then decide to have fun doing action movies. Only I’m guessing Rob won’t be trashing hotel rooms with supermodels anytime soon, which makes him even more attractive.

  34. Ninja TwiNerd says:

    i’m even older than you are (no toddlers around here). He is my usual wallpaper of choice. I admit, if asked, if I think he’s hot. They get a “yes” and a change of subject (if they haven’t seen the computer wallpaper or the calendar).

  35. gkngc04 says:

    Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!! I can so relate with you, I am 5
    months away from my 40th birthday and I am totally Robsessed! I
    went to see his wax figure today at Madame Tussauds in Hollywood
    and wanted to take it home and do some naughty things with it! I
    have a nephew that is Rob’s age but I DO NOT CARE!!!! My husband
    and family think I am crazy but my friends are OK with
    it……

  36. always fan..... says:

    dear ROBERT:
    have ever fely that you are so lonely?
    I don`t feel that way but I think that I need a very good friend …
    the only friend that i have right now it`s you…
    I mean I have a lot of friend but I dont feel that close to them that I feel with you…..
    I do not know really some people say this is crazy to say such things to you…
    but I hope you will read these things one day and think that some people really love you………
    I actually lonely I do not know why…
    any way I just wanted to say that you are my best friend now….
    love you
    anonymous

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