The year in Rob 2010 – top moments (that should have been)
It’s the end of the year and everyone is doing those count down of their favorite movies/music/current events, what have you and who would we be to not join in the fun with some of yours. But rather than count down our fave moments cause well, we talk about them a lot, I think I’m going to count down our favorite moments of yours the way I saw them…
1. Shopping with Tom Sturridge for underpants and whatnot – This was definitely one of our favorite moments of the year we’ve talked about it non stop and who wouldn’t? You were seen buying your drawers with your BFF?
How I saw it... After clearing out the contents of John Varvatos, Paul Smith and Penguin stores, Robert Pattinson and pal Tom Sturridge were seen out for months to follow at bars, shows, and friends places wearing the latest in men’s fashions. No word yet on the origins of the mysterious dumpster fire involving a lot of used men’s clothing (beanies, old leather briefcases, holey shirts and pants, etc) that was set ablaze in the lovely neighborhood of Barnes, London. Officials say they were glad the used clothing was not donated to charity shops because the levels of toxins found at the blaze were extraordinary and estimate that the clothing had not been washed in several years leading to complete annihilation of the rancid clothing and the dumpster.
2. Robert Pattinson on the Jay Leno Show – HOT HOT HOT, there’s really no other words for this suit and the resulting stories about his dad and the amazing emails he receives from Dick Pattinson.
How I saw it… Sensing the huge success of any television appearances he makes and the resulting high levels of estrogen in the studio, Robert Pattinson signs a deal with OWN media and starts his own chat show focused on women ages 18 – to old to remember. Topics will include: how to snag the (younger) man of your dreams, cougars vs sabers who would win his heart and guests Alex Sarsgaard, Iam Somerhalder, Chuck Bass (his real name), and himself, Robert Pattinson.
3. Rob films Water for Elephants in California and draws legions of fans to set locations every day – Who didn’t love seeing Rob in those period clothes, taming wild beasts and making out with Reese Witherspoon? We sure did. But some folks loved it aaaaaallllooottt and committed part of their summer to being a regular on set… or off set as it were.
How I saw it… Touched by the devotion of his fans Rob stoped his chauffeured car as he left the set of Water for Elephants today to tell them how much he appreciated them. But overcome with emotion, Rob actually proposes to every single fan gathered (5ish people) and suggests they all live on a compound in glorious Big Love-esque harmony. Every day is spent beginning with an hour long session of Rob flexes his hands and fingers for all to watch and drool. Then he picks up a guitar and puts it down, never playing, only teasing. They then all wake up from this glorious dream and seek psychological therapy.
4. Ready to cool off in the Atlantic Ocean while filming Breaking Dawn, Rob takes an awkward jump that will go down in history. – What else is there to say about Jumping Rob besides it’s pure, unintended choice GENIUS!
How I saw it… jealous of the popularity of Prancing Cera, Leo Struts, Sad Don Draper and Ryan Gosling’s “Hey Girl,” among others, Robert Pattinson had been brainstorming a way to catch the hearts of the interwebs to make him even more famous for awkwardly jumping into the ocean than for being a sparkly vampire. After attempts such as “Air Guitar Rob” in Vancouver, “Underwear Rob” in London and “Homie Rob” in LA all failed he saw his chance in Brazil. All it took was a hop skip and awkward jump into the ocean and into the interwebs hearts forever.
5. Robert is Bothered… Knowing that ladies love cool Rob and will watch anything with Robert Pattinson in it, Jimmy Fallon launches the hilarious reoccuring bit called “Robert is Bothered” on his late night chat show. Rob eventually joins him for an episode in April of 2010 to let Jimmy know he really isn’t bothered, maybe a bit broken
How I saw it… Clearly, the BIGGEST male fan of Rob (and Twilight) to ever have his own late night chat show and power to make and air hilarious sketches, Jimmy Fallon created Robert is Bothered in an elaborate plot to lure the actor on his show and steal an autograph/hug/lock of hair. After having other cast members on to throw footballs and ride mini crotch rocket motorcycles, Jimmy knew he had to step up his game to lure in the big dog, Robert Pattinson and thus Robert is Bothered was created!
As you can see, how I saw your top moments of 2010 was waaaaayyy more exciting than how they actually played out. We will, however, be eternally grateful to you for bringing us such amazingness like Jumping Rob and Bothered that will last us through 2011. How can you top it this time??
2011 Here We Come!
Was this how you saw Rob’s top moments of 2010? What did I miss or did they go down differently to you? Share!
Tags: , 2010, 2011, Bothered, Breaking Dawn, chat show, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Jumping Rob, New Year, New Years, Prancing Cera, robert pattinson, Ryan Gosling, Strutting Leo, talk show, tom sturridge, Water for Elephants
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