Does Robet Pattinson wonder about his life….?

Dear Rob,

Moon found this gem of a picture over on a Tumblr account yesterday with the caption:

I wonder if Robert Pattinson ever wonders about his life

I’ll give you a few days minutes to fully appreciate the above portrait of what your life could be. Look at your potential child. Plan what you’re going to do with this collage burn it like blow it up and have it printed on a big canvas to hang above THE fireplace (You know the one)

Rob's new desktop background: his feminine self

Now let’s talk: do you? Wonder about your life? Do you sit around and think about how this stuff is out there? Does it even phase you that it exists? Has anyone TOLD you that it exists?

Picture this: It’s a boring Saturday. There’s nothing on TV and you can’t figure out how to work that “video game machine” in your rental house. What do you do? Do you break out the ipad & Google yourself? Even though last time you did it you swore you never would again? Does life ever get that boring (Or do you ever get THAT drunk? Or- what I would do if I were him- does TomStu ever change your laptop background to one of these fan made gems?) If so, what do you think? Anything? What comes to mind? Is it “normal” at this point? Or can you still not believe that this happened… to you?

Rob's favorite meal: Corn on the cob, lobster & Heineken

Do you ever actually open any of the fan mail you get? If you do, what do you think when you’re handed a replica of your very favorite, holey shirt. Does that scare that shit out of you or are you happy because now you can throw out the old shirt that really wasn’t ridding itself of its musty scent, no matter how many times you washed it? What about when your manager hands you a gift from a fan & you open it and it is all your favorite snacks & a 6 pack of your favorite beer? Are you excited because your fridge is a barren wasteland most of the time & you can finally go to bed full tonight? Or are you creeped out because how do they remember?

Do you even ask your parents what they’ve been up to anymore? Or do you fear that everytime you do your dad is going to regail you of stories of “a nice young girl” who recently stopped by & dropped flowers off at the house? Or how Claire “just happened” to receive a box of her favorite chocolates in the mail. Or what if Dick tells you you moved out right at the wrong time because a bunch of “nice girls your age” have been hanging around near the house and they never did before? Does it phase you?

And do you have to think twice before you text a friend a dirty joke knowing that it’s possible someone has hacked into your phone, looked at your personal pictures & sees everything you search for or do (mainly the menu item “HOW TO USE THE JITTERBUG PHONE)? And getting back to that boring Saturday, what if you want to watch PORN but fear that someone guessed your wireless password (Patty), turned on your web cam & is watching you at this very moment?

Do you ever pick up a magazine while you’re in line checking out at Maxwell’s Market in Baton Rouge and read an article about how you like to shop at Maxwell’s Market and look around to see whose watching you. and since they wrote “so one can only hope he picked up some items to cook her [Kristen] a romantic dinner!” you suddenly feel self conscious because all that is in your basket is a pack of Twizzlers, some bottled water & string cheese. So you put the items back & walk out. Because you can’t even grocery shop without an audience. And someone asks you to sign their reusable Maxwell’s Market bag on the way out the door….

But I bought this rare guitar for $700!!! My money might run out soon!

Rob, what do you think about your life? Sure you’re famous, and it comes with the territory. But do the gobs of money being thrown at you make it worth it (I’m going to go with NO since it seems the only thing you spend money on is processed food & guitars. Take a trip! buy a boat! Fly to a remote place where paparazzi leaves celebs alone (it’s possible). Unless you live in a cave where you get little to no contact (and that’s kinda true) you have to know that some of this exists. And I can laugh (and I do) and make light of it (and write you letters about it) and discuss it with my pals, but at the end of the day, you are an actual person- not just a figment of my imagination- and these things actually happen to you….. so … do you wonder? Do you even think about it? Does it phase you…? I want to know…. (and so I’ll wait until the next time you google yourself & find these questions. In the meantime I’ll just be photoshopping Mr. Choice out & you into my wedding pictures. I also have a pregnant cousin who I kinda resemble. I think with my face & her body, it could be the spiting image of our possible future together as mommy & daddy….)


What do you think? When Rob is confronted with the crazy aspects of his fame, what DOES he think!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

80 Responses to “Does Robet Pattinson wonder about his life….?”

  1. danisu says:

    oh man. that is absolutely horrifying. However, I’m sure he wonders about his life….or, ya know…the safety of his life.

  2. superhumanmoron says:

    Oh, but that was no Heine in that lobster shoot! It was my favorite-Rolling Rock!!

  3. dazzledtodeath says:

    I’ve wondered about this, and I think Rob handles it by keeping his life as normal as possible, and that’s the best way to handle it. You could become a paranoid wreck by worrying about all things UC listed above and more (I hope you’re not reading today, Rob)-he’s in a very weird situation where millions of people (women) know his favorite foods, his friends, every item in his wardrobe and every move he makes (almost). He seems remarkably unaffected and I think he does this by not overthinking, keeping close to people he loves and trusts, and having Dean at his side to kick some fangirl ass if necessary. I hope he can laugh about some of the sillier stuff-being sent care packages, the attention paid to his hair, etc. He seems really grounded and hopefully the time will come when he can live a little more NORMALly.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Okay, so I thought we were just speculating here. Do you mean to say that Rob lives on and loves Hot Pockets and Heineken – for a fact?? Hm, I’d better start packing him a gift of bran müsli and fresh fruit and send it express to Baton Rouge..

      • dazzledtodeath says:

        nope, I’m just borrowing from the Rob folklore that’s out there (some of which he’s put out there himself). He’s been photographed coming out of stores with Heineken, and we know he has a fondness for In n Out burgers-maybe you could send him a gift certificate to In n Out instead of the meusli?

        • “millions of people (women) know his favorite foods, his friends, every item in his wardrobe and every move he makes (almost)”

          it’s crazy when you put it that way… think about that personally. SO WEIRD!!!

          and i do love the folklore that’s been created but it’d be interesting (or boring) to know the REAL rob. he’s probably a vegan…

          • MariaCecilia says:

            Rob – a vegan! Win! I’m a vegan too – sort of. We get to microwave carrots together!! I love you, Moon!

          • Keisha says:

            His favorite food is Japanese steak from this one steakhouse in Japan
            CREEPY I KNOW THIS but that’s what today’s blog is all about, right? 😉

  4. Bea says:

    So I clicked on the link to Rob’s grocery store visit. He bought a Cobb Salad? Really? That seems not nearly processed enough. Perhaps he’s taking his abs seriously for this movie.
    And that collage is horrifying. The end.

    • The Old One says:

      Isn’t a Cobb salad just a lot of ham and salami and cheese chunks with lots of gooey dressing and very little lettuce? That seems like it would be his style.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Good thing you asked. I did my research today at lunch and ordered a Cobb salad (all the while thinking I was giving myself up as a Rob fan – the guy who made my salad gave me a look, a look that said HE KNEW). My Cobb was Bibb lettuce, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, bleu cheese, bacon, eggs, and grilled chicken, topped with vinagrette. Other than the bacon, eggs, and cheese, it could probably pass for healthy. But I’m sure a Cobb salad one might purchase in a meat market in Louisiana might be different.

  5. adrienne says:

    that first collage…ugh. I had to shield my eyes.

    Poor Rob.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      But you know, just exchange the girl’s face with, let’s say, your own face, and suddenly it doesn’t look so bad? Wait, maybe it does…sorry, I take it back.

  6. operarose says:

    I get a kick out of the article about Rob grocery shopping. “He’s just like us! He…eats.” Really… very groundbreaking journalism.

    I also like the name “Robet” – very French. 😉

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      can you imagine being that reporter. just sitting around, blogging about the biebz and jessica alba’s latest diaper bag purchase, then you get *the* call. the call you’ve been waiting for, for years. the call that will make your career. robb purchased a cobb – serious scoop. instant journalist street cred.

  7. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Dear Rob,

    You should visit San Francisco if you want some normalcy. People here don’t get all celeb crazy. It’s actually kind of weird. John Waters can walk down the freaking street here and no one gawks or screams. All people here do is make a note of what he’s wearing and (maybe) send out a protected Tweet about it. I rode in an elevator with Robin Williams. People smiled and told him to have a good day. No autograph requests or comments in Ms. Doubtfire voice. Sean Penn sat across from me in a restaurant. No one even bothered to even take an iphone photo. Granted, none of these celebrities are quite as hot as you are right now, but people here would all like to think they are too cool/hipster for the celebrity crazy thing. You’d probably feel even a bit ignored.

    Just something to consider. I would be happy to show you a few places you could score an amazing Cobb salad too. Not all grocery store soggy with sad bits of bacon.

    Love (but within legal limits),

  8. natashadushi says:

    I start reading and saw the 1st pic and had to stop. I am so an 2ndhand embarrassment example! WHY???? Ok back to try reading the story *drinks two shots of cheap tequilla*

  9. robsfuturemate says:

    Dear Rob,
    I promise to never photoshop my face into a crazy montage of “us”. (unless it’s for a very applicable LTR… no, not even then.)
    What I don’t promise is when I make that trip over the pond that I might not make a trip to Barnes (just to see).
    I promise to be a good fangirl (and pretend I don’t know who you are).
    I don’t promise that I will be coherent (and you may realize that I am indeed a fan).
    Anyways, what I’m getting at is that there some of us NORMAL fans out there. So rest assured when you meet an LTR lady (and most likely they won’t tell you that) your Dad will be proud of the refined but naughty way we love you!

    Your Future Mate (and of course, I always mean friend by that 😉 )

    • MariaCecilia says:

      …and Dad might like to bask in that refined, but vicarious, love for a few moments himself..oh thou Begetter-of-Rob!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Rob, why would you thumbs down me like that? You WANT to see a montage of us and what our children would look like?!?!?!

      Or maybe someone doesn’t like that we’re a little bit naughty? I didn’t even mention the Shrew!!!!! (if you wanted me to, all you had to do was thumbsdown, oops, ask!)

  10. Ambella says:

    If I was that girl’s mom I would have a problem with her “art”. Maybe I am just jealous cause I don’t know how to photoshop…….

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Well, I cannot fault her for the text of the card. There are worse fetishes, and if there was a Rob Church, I’d dress up in my Sunday best (aka Monday’s work outfit) and sing the gospel. Really, the weirdness is in the multiple images. Particularly the center one – looks like she took that photo right as her mom told her to get off Spunk Ransom and set the table. “God, Mom, I’m busy here!”

      • kristen's bestie says:

        Really? Did you catch the little wording about “I’ll be Bella and you be Edward and we’ll last forever?”

        The part that maybe makes it ok is the fact that she is a young girl. Anyone over 18 making that card is well ummmm….. let’s just hope it’s a joke!!

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          If I had made that photo when I was her age and if my brother had found that photo….ooof. There would be a lifetime of humiliation. Constant blackmail. He’d be lording that collage over me to this day. He would have found a way to put the collage into my wedding info website and he would have linked a faux registry for me and Edward (lots of feather pillows…those bella purple bedsheets everyone was hot for a few years ago). I hope that girl does not have a little brother.

          • kristen's bestie says:

            Yes, this collage is going to bite her in the ass someday. Actually, I think it already has!! It’s on LTR!

        • MariaCecilia says:

          Yeah, whatever happened to just scrawling “Mrs Robert Pattinson” or “Robert+Mary=True” in the margins of your school books?? Photoshop – sheeesssh..I guess I’m not down with the kids no more..?

      • Maggie says:

        If I knew how to make a collage like that, I’d probably make tons of them, but I don’t think I’d ever have the nerve to post it for anyone but me to see. That collage was all kinds of scary. Poor Rob. I would be the perfect non-scary type of fan because I know that I would turn into a frozen non-breathing statue if I ever got close to him. I’ve seen him in person twice – both times from quite a distance – but each time I started turning to stone.

        I think he handles it all quite well, generally. I’m amazed he hasn’t gone beserk yet. Yeah Dean!!!

  11. ladyofthemeadow says:

    I think Rob tries to keep his life normal by not talking publicly about his relationship with Kristen. Like, not at all. No details, no clues, ever.

    I think Taylor helping Kristen up the stairs at the People’s Choice Awards was more along these lines, like just a smokescreen hiding their relationship.

    Or maybe Kristen figured Tay had stronger arms to catch her with, should she teeter off those mile-high heels and take a tumble down the stairs. Sorry Rob, for ever saying that, but it’s true.

    • robgirl86 says:

      I just discovered there’s maybe something worse than manips…
      talking SHIT!

    • JodieO says:

      You think different than what I think! THUMBS DOWN!

      • superhumanmoron says:

        How DARE you??? Thumbs down for you!!!

      • dazzledtodeath says:

        What is the thumbs down for if not to say, I disagree with what you said? It’s not the You-Suck-Now-Go-Die button. Maybe it should be renamed in honor of SWSNBN, since mention of her usually provokes it.

        Opinions, opinions, you know what they say about them.

    • oh man any mention of the one who shall not be named gets the commenters restless. hilarious.

      and i also like to think it’s because taylor is a nice guy he helped her up and he was standing next to her whereas rob was behind. i really dont think it was any big conspiracy… but ya know, i don’t think a lot of THINGS (read: relationships) are conspiracies…… but whatevs 😉

    • guitargirl says:

      He probably doesn’t comment, because people still choose not to believe their numerous denials. I’d be bored with repeating myself too LOL!

      I’m not going to even comment on the dissection of who helped who up the stairs, because I can’t understand why it’s even been mentioned. Are her and Taylor an item now?

      Awaiting thumbs down 🙂

  12. robgirl86 says:

    Everybody wants a PIECE ( 🙂 ) of Rob…
    what to say, some is funny, most is creepy, some scary aka manips and collages like the one on top.
    He said once, it’s all weird and yes, it is, some things may freak him out (secretly), cause he never shows & I admire that.

    Consequences? No misbuttoned shirts anymore, less Rob word vomit, he is less open about is whereabouts, just to name a few…NORMAL
    And…his wallpaper? am sure it’s THIS, Tom sent it!

    • Maggie says:

      I often wonder what Rob thinks when he sees the manips of him out there. Can someone explain those to me? I mean, I love Rob’s long, lean, yummy (cough – doable – cough) body. It’s def in the top 10 of his most attractive assets. When I see his head stuck on the body of some beefed up stud, I just cringe. What exactly is the point? I, for one, don’t get it.

  13. Edible art? says:

    Yeah one hopes Rob doesn’t google himself it could send you loopy. !! That 1st picture just I’m gonna do a Bella …… What, when no no no why you can’t. It’s just wrong on Soooooo many levels sigh

  14. FreakyBella says:

    Seeeeee… that is the kind of fan that make the rest of us look BAD! Like crazy-bad! Like bat-shit-crazy-bad! What I fear is that the whole Twilight cast thinks we fans are all bat-shit-crazy… and this doesn’t help!!!

  15. MariaCecilia says:

    Wait. Do you mean to say that Robert Pattinson is NOT a figment of my imagination? He’s – real?
    *drops dead on the floor with a thud*

  16. LatersBaby says:

    I’m taking up a collection to get that poor girl therapy. In fact…

    Dear Rob,
    The next time you want to do some meet and greet for charity, I have an idea. Take the proceeds from your self-auction and give it to us. We will search for those who bring us (and you) the most second-hand embarrassment and send them to counseling. We’ll be your watchdogs for crazy. Yes, I know I’m on the crazy list… but still, think it over.

    LOVE always,

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Laters- You are on the Normal List!! If Rob reads this site like a few of you hope, then I’m sure that such a list exists!

  17. JodieO says:

    The good (or bad) news is that if he does google himself he’s got a good chance of winding up either here or at the forum.

  18. LatersBaby says:

    I am a strong believer that Rob has found MotU and reads it religiously. I don’t know what all those bad interview questions are about. If I had the opportunity, I would simply ask, “Rob, what does the expression Fifty Shades mean to you.” I’d love to see him try NOT to smile.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Love you! I am totally with you on that one. How about stumbling into the room and falling flat on your face as an overture to the interview itself? 🙂

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      I’d LOVE to talk FF with Rob! What stories has he read (more folklore), does he prefer AH, AU, has he ever read slash (ahem), is he into the BDSM fics. These are the questions enquiring minds want to know.

      Cue the person who thumbs-downed me last week for referring to FF and slash.

      Thumbs down, conspiracies, fanfic, we’re really covering it all today.

  19. Pfluffy says:

    I think he thinks he is a fucking lucky bastard and deals with the “crazy” aspects of his life by trying not to think to much about them and based on what we see of him he seems to be doing a good job of that.

  20. southernbelle says:

    OMG!!!! This is creepy! LOL. I don’t even know what to say, oh dear.

  21. stupidshiny says:

    That girl in the collage looks suspiciously like the girl in the beanie who is walking in front of Edward and Bella as they walk through the greenhouse in Twilight…

  22. robsfuturemate says:

    Just wanted to mention that the British chick lit I’m reading had Isle of Wight, Volvos AND Twister all in a couple chapters! Weird!!!

  23. Vera says:

    Rob enjoys the attention he´s been given but he´s just come out the teen ages and doesn´t know how to deal with all that love.

    I think he is even a bit vain and it wouldn’t hide himself from the world. Never in a lifetime. He is pretty much sociable.

  24. miss*charisma says:

    I know I’m totally late to the party on this post, but that picture of ‘Feminine Rob’ looks like the third member of Jedward

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