Updating Rob’s Resume

(Hey Rob, I was about to tackle your old resume and then I saw that Robgirl86, Cath and drsaka had already done it, so who am I to stand in the way of awesome? AAANNDDD I finally got my router fixed (I bought a new one!) tonight so I’ll leave LTR in their capable hands today… take it away!)

Available for all those Darts/Wind Surfing/Bowling movie needs!

Dear Rob,

We recently saw a copy of your resume:

This needs updating. Ermmm, playing age – 16-20???? Doesn’t your agent realize you’re not really an eternal 17-year old looking vampire??? We also have many other questions about it, especially in the Languages and Skills section. For example, we’ve heard you speak in Polish one time already and we’ll hear even more in WFE. And what about the Sports section? Rob, it saddens us that you’re not highly skilled at darts; maybe that has something to do with it taking place in a pub? We’re also a bit distressed about the windsurfing bit, but then again; you’d be in a wetsuit for it…

BTW – your mini-bio, is your favorite food still lentils? Is your favorite movie still Splash????? (!!!!!!) Please tell us, especially about the lentils. And yeah, also about your mermaid fetish…

We remember that you saying that you exaggerated (read: lied) about your ability to swim when auditioning for HP: GOF. However, we believe you humbly left many things out of this resume and it absolutely needs to be updated and expanded. For example, why isn’t kissing listed as a skill? You were included in this list this has to be included!!!!

And you didn’t include more evidence of your dancing skills!

We would like to offer you our Resume Preparation Services (DCR Enterprises, please contact us at: anythingforrob@DCR.com). We already went ahead and updated your one-page resume for free. (No need to thank us – although we wouldn’t turn down dinner…)

(Click to enlarge! Trust me!)

So many skills of yours are unique to you and should be highlighted, you never know how these skills could influence a casting for you! Don’t get lazy and assume people think they know everything about you now, because they don’t. You’re an enigma. Show them you’re more than Edward, show them you’re as versatile as Brando, or Nicholson, or better said, show them the versatility that is Robert Pattinson!

Please see the Special Skills Portfolio for excellent examples of selected skills!

(cliiiick it!)

These are only suggestions, but please do not be quite so humble! We want to to get the prime movie roles that will continue to showcase your talents!

Always yours in curriculum vitae,

drsaka, robgirl86 and Cath

SEEEEEE Rob, they even made a special skills section much better than what I had in mind… but really I want to talk about the “highly skilled Sports” section in which you list WIND SURFING! DARTS and BOWLING! Really?! Can you be highly skilled at bar games and games you play at kids birthday parties? What else would you add to Rob’s resume?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

186 Responses to “Updating Rob’s Resume”

  1. mia says:

    Everytime i read this website, u guys never cease to crack me up! I always find myself laughing alone in my room. Your humor and wit are amazing! Keep it up!
    Thanks for the humor, wit and love for rob.

  2. minuit_passe says:

    I think he learnt to windsurf that time when he learnt the unique Eastern European language. There is one single language in Eastern Europe, you know that place near Detroit (or was it Chicago?) so obviously they all have one accent (Tom’s accent in Waiting for Forever?) #doh

    Now if you excuse me, I’m busy completing my CV with my one Asian Afro Québec-ian accent. It’s unique.

    P. S. Win as always! And this time he really made it easy!

  3. LatersBaby says:

    Dear drsaka, robsgirl, & Cath:

    Thank you so much for letting me start my day with this fantastic letter! So many good ones to mention… “smexy talk” and “mindreading” dialects… too funny.

    Laters x

  4. alice_av says:

    Lol Accents and dialects: dutch (ex Heineken) win!

  5. melronin says:


    Rob should definitely quit his agent and let you girls represent him! Am sure you will offer him great services in more ways than one 🙂 Your resume is simply amazing!

    May I suggest an addition of the following Robskills…
    you can add them without even asking him…am sure he will agree.

    a) Ability to cause major…multiple…extraordinary…
    amazing…unusual org…ehhh explosions in all womankind!

    (What? That doesn’t count??? It definitely counts in MY book…afterall one can never know which skill could make the difference right?)

    b) Ability of doing THE JUMP!!!

    c) Having amazing chesmistry with all female animals (recent example: Rosie the elephant)

    Loving you tons

    PS. GROUPHUG!!! 🙂

    • kristen's bestie says:

      OMG! The first thing I thought of was the Jumping! Can not forget the jumping. And also the hair should have it’s own skill section.

      Such as:
      Tousled Sex Hair** (see Sex Drive Red Carpet pic)
      Short nearly buzzed** (see Jacob Jankowski)
      Buzzed* (see out and about on a Monday pic)
      Full Beard* (see taking a break between films pic)

      • melronin says:

        I agree totally 🙂

        and THE JUMP…oh my…dunno why this special skill of his makes me think…dirty…lol..maybe it’s the greek in me!

    • robgirl86 says:

      …one of those “explosed” woman maybe that “girl” who interviewed him for the E! WFE promo thing we may see today cause the one second I saw of the teaser (with 1 eye cause it was very early this morning) she TOUCHED him again! :-O
      Wasn’t that the one sitting on his lap a while ago?
      Jealous me

      • melronin says:

        Yes that was her!!!
        I guess after that 1st time with/on him…she wants more! Who can blame her…sighhhhh!!!

        Jealous girl #2

  6. melronin says:

    Dear Rob

    Must tell you that I would hire you even without any of those skills baby! Just knock on my door love…
    You really don’t need skills of any sort…
    You have superpowers over me as it is…just by being you!

    Love love love you
    and miss miss miss you

    • Alex says:

      “Just by being You”

      The END.

      PS: I would like to put all his skills on test and be his Referee….or may be drsaka, robgirl86 and Cath can do it better….

  7. robsfuturemate says:

    Wonderful yet again Ladies!!!

    Thank you for including all the extras! Of course he’s highly skilled in these areas!! Some favorites of mine: Mindreading and General Smexy Talk. Ballet, Prom and Yule Ball Dancing (thank you for including the harmonica). And of course, Tree Climbing (i prefer w/out Spider Monkey), Dominating Basketball and Unlocking a bike (that’s some talent).
    And absolute favorite:
    Hair Length: crew cut to buoffant

    Love you girls (and Rob for once again providing the muse)!

  8. GoodgirlgonePlaid says:

    Hello ladies,
    For some reason I can’t load the resumes 🙁
    Such is the epicness of Rob’s skill set I guess. I’ll keep on watching that clip, which I can do a LOT, So thanks for that & tell Rob he’s hired!

  9. tupelohoney says:

    Great letter ladies!

    I keep going back to the kissing pic on the special skills portfolio. Gawd, imagine the possiblilities….

    And I just want to say I think I NEED to hear his American southern states accent….

    Dear Rob,
    Since you’re so close… Baton Rouge is just a few hours away from me…. do you think you could come visit for just a little while? I wanna dress you in some snug-fitting Levi’s jeans, a ragged t-shirt under a flannel shirt and some old biker boots. (You have to look the part, ya know) then you can talk to me in your southern accent… I’ll feed you some hot pockets and sweet tea and take you for a ride in my big ol’ truck…. Pretty please?


    • tupelohoney says:

      And Rob? I’ll even let you drive if you want…

    • southernbelle says:

      Hi hon, yes I agree on the southern accent! I think we have yet to hear that. Nice avi btw! How are you?

      • tupelohoney says:

        Hey SB, I’m good. I’m sitting here drinking a glass of sweet tea and looking at that kissing pic… Anna Kendrick was one lucky girl…. Don’t think I would have been looking at the camera tho. lol.

        Glad you like the avi. I was missing the longer hair. How are you?

        • southernbelle says:

          Ahhh I want some sweet tea too. I didn’t know you’re close to BR? You must be on the southern tip of TN then. I’m surprised you haven’t drove down there yet! I see a road trip! Haha! Take me with you!

          It’s been a while since we emailed, I owe you some :).

          • tupelohoney says:

            Baton Rouge is actually about 4 1/2 hours away. A road trip sounds good. When do you wanna go? I bet we could find Rob or alteast get arrested trying….

          • southernbelle says:


            Ummm we might get arrested before we get to Rob! LOL. I think we need to have some really good bride for Dean, what do you think?

          • tupelohoney says:

            You mean a bribe for Dean? lol. But then, a bride would probably work too….

    • southernbelle says:


      How about a remake of Dukes of Hazard? LOL I guess we’ll have to have TomStu tag along. Oh and we can alternate playing Daisy Duke. Yeehaw.

  10. JennB33 says:

    Awesome letter. I chortled when I read the special skills section, and I think that “Distant Orgasmosity” should be required on all CV’s.

    Because then Rob would score, on a 1 to 10 rating, an eleventy. He causes many women to be very, very happy. Just sayin’.

    I really love that dancing clip, but it is a little second-hand embarassing.

    Shouldn’t we also include his desire to be a rapper? That turtle-head move would then be justified. And don’t forget the bearskin rug special EFX. Rowr!

    • melronin says:

      “Distant Orgasmosity”…omg…so that’s what it’s called!
      Wow…Rob has a distant orgasmosity effect on me 😀

      *runs to google orgasmosity*…lol…must improve my Robknowledge!!!


    • Maggie says:

      “Distant Orgasmosity”. – This talent says it all. The rest is just yummy icing.

      (Great post, ladies!)

    • Cath says:

      This comment should get an honourable mention because of the new word for the Robtionary!!!

      “Distant Orgasmosity”

      Oh my!!! Win!

  11. southernbelle says:

    Great letter!

    Ballet huh? LOL. Let’s see Rob do some Swan Lake! Rob’s a Jack of all Trades!

    Dear Rob,

    I’ve been missing you! I’m so out of the loop. It’s like you just vanished! No paparazzi pics, no tweets from people that have bumped or seen you. Show us something, some face, hair, some sex stare will ya?

    On a happy note, I’ll see your pals in concert next month(KY)! If you decide to show up, please look for me. I’ll be the cute little dark-haired southernbelle. JK


    • drsaka says:

      Which pals?

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Swan Lake – I’d pay to see Rob in tights and pointe shoes.

      Or Black Swan. Rob can be the Lily character and I’ll play the Nina since loving Rob has made me an expert in hallucinations and delusions. Only I just want to do the sexual hallucination scene with him – forget the rest of the plot.

      • Maggie says:

        Rob playing Lily in “that scene”. ok. Remove delusional Nina and replace with delusional me. You got me again, nat. I may as well pack it up and go home because no work is going to get done as long as that reel is looping through my brain.

      • southernbelle says:

        @Nat I haven’t seen Black Swan yet lol. And now I really want to see it so I can see about this sexual hallucination thingy.

        Yay on the tights and the pointy shoes. Actually I care more about the tights, forget the shoes ha!

  12. kristen's bestie says:

    At this point we would all be happy for a picture of his little pinkie or his jitterbug phone. Anything.. we are starving here!

  13. robgirl86 says:

    In Italy we say….
    “Eat lentils & you’ll get loads of money!”
    Am sure our Robertino heard of this……

    • drsaka says:


    • melronin says:

      hmmm in Greece it’s the food of the poor…lol

    • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

      Talking about fake CV – I never believed the story about the lentils!!!!!!!He probably had it served as a school lunch ones and abhored it! He knows it’s good for you, but in reality he absolutly HATES it…….it’s def his kind of humour to say something like this. We know he loves hamburgers, hot pockets, Kobe steaks etc. etc…..anything with meat and grease on it…….

  14. kandnandb says:

    Mwahahaha! Thank you, girls, I needed a laugh today! I read it like a proud mom (but w/ no maternal feelings, ifyouknowwhatI’msaying)-“Aww, yes, Rob IS highly skilled at walking, sitting or standing while smoking & drinking! No one looks sexier doing that than him!”

  15. applepie says:


    Great job ladies!

  16. The Old One says:

    Rob, if the acting stuff doesn’t work out, you seem to have a lot of skills you can fall back on, and you could succeed in another line of work. The impregnating stare, for instance. Fertility clinics would hire you in a heartbeat! I don’t even want any more children, but I’d sign up for that!

  17. trixi says:

    I love when you tell me to click it!

  18. southernbelle says:

    Dear Rob,

    I’m volunteering myself for the kissing and impregnating stare. >:)))

    Any other skills relevant to the above are welcome too. Feel free to practice on me.


  19. trixi says:

    crap how do I change my avi?

  20. trixi says:

    I’d like to hear that South African accent…

    It’s great to know that you are highly skilled at athletics…

  21. Mieze says:

    Great job, as always, ladies! Didn´t exspect anything else and kept LMAO while reading it…
    He doesn´t need any special skills for me,too, it´s totally enough if he wears the beanie and some destroyed jeans. Maybe the BBJ as well, missed it for a while noe :-))))

  22. Mieze says:

    Jezz, I ment *now* LOL

  23. Maggie says:

    For CV consideration:

    Able to shift from dork to hobo to hottie faster than a speeding bullet.

    Uncanny ability to grow a lumberjacks beard within days.

    Unusual talent: can unconsciously run fingers through hair which causes women across the globe to reach unthinkable heights of sexual pleasure.

    A smile that melts panties (see above-reaction to running fingers through hair).

    Smirking, stretching, yawning, cracking knuckles, tying shoelaces, standing, sitting, walking, running and lying down. Eating, drinking, smoking (yuk, but not when he does it), dressing, undressing, shopping, driving, humming, whistling. And doing all the above – and more – sexier than any man alive.

    • drsaka says:

      I almost included driving, but there are too many interviews out there in which someone says ‘they’d be in a crash’ if Rob was driving! :))))))))
      I think he has improved, though.

      • Maggie says:

        You’re right. Driving is still probably a developing talent – not yet ready to go on the CV. It’s probably notable that in his next movie he’ll have a chauffeur.

        Stephanie Ritz: “Does he have to drive?”.

        Cosmopolis filmmaker: “No driving. His character has a chauffeur.”

        Steph: “Oooo. Then I can safely say he’ll be perfect for the part!”

      • Cath says:

        Would still be a bit anxious to get in the car with him though, but then again, it’s Rob, so I’ll just wear armour and a helmet!!! Hehehehe.

        • RobsFan-tasy says:

          It wouldn’t matter, Rob would be beside you, he would be the last thing you’d see. what a way to go! To quote a very old line from a very old movie,

          “…Died right in my arms.”

          “I can’t blame him. If I were to die, there’s no place on e3arth I’d rather be.”

      • southernbelle says:

        Hmmm I’m trying to decide if I would be willing to drive with him. Let’s hope he’s figured out the “wiper thingy” by now! LOL Remember his first Ellen interview? 😉 He’s so cute, I just want to bite him. Pun intended.

  24. Vera says:

    The original curriculum gets me all melted.

    The Professional one should give Rob some options else, such as

    Dear Rob,

    If acting is not your thing, after all, and if nothing else works, you may consider selling genetic material which you ll deliver in person

    You can also become a go-go boy. I’m sure you will get bags of cash.

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      yes! pole dancing. Forget singles, Rob’s thong would be stuffed with fifities and hundreds. And Rob if acting in “real” movies doesn’t work out for you (it will, but humor me), you have a loyal fanbase who will follow you to adult films. Just an option.

    • southernbelle says:

      He’ll be a millionaire if he did that! Oh and I think he’d literally bring the house down!

  25. dazzledtodeath says:

    What about weight-lifting? If I’m not mistaken there are pics of Rob carrying an ENTIRE CASE of Heineken in ONE hand. Impressive.

    And what does he mean by “athletics”? Rather general but I’m taking it to mean that he has great stamina and staying power in night-time sports. I bet he could win an Olympic medal in this area-something new to add to his resume 😉

  26. Janetrigs says:


  27. MidnightCougar says:

    Wow drsaka, robgirl86 and Cath, congrats on a superb LTR! Rob’s new & improved Resume & Skills Portforlio are so perfect, I hope he realizes just how invaluable you Ladies really are to him! 🙂

    Also, I was thinking that since Rob has such a variety of skills maybe he should think about teaching some of these invaluable skills to others. He even has his Namesake School to do this at: http://www.rps.lincs.sch.uk/ – maybe he could teach Sex-Ed 😉 or Phys-Ed (so many Sports skills listed above.) lol

    <3 you gals MC

  28. Brenn says:

    Love the post girls!

    But seriously, according to Google, 75 kg equals 165 pounds. Do ya think he only weighs 165? I’m 5’10” and weigh 150. Can’t imagine Rob 3 inches taller and only 15 pounds more than me.

    If it’s true, he needs a cookie. I’ll volunteer. 😉

    • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

      I’ve chatted to a lady that met Rob in person and she said he is awfully skinny. Also I know several men that are as tall (and taller) than Rob and they are all about the same weight.

      • drsaka says:

        Hey there!
        I agree, he’s really skinny.

        • Cath says:

          The camera adds at least five pounds, hahahaha. And yes, most actors are awfully skinny, and Rob’s tall, so he even looks it more!

      • Maggie says:

        I know someone who sees him often in a business setting. (Yes, although my jealousy is overwhelming, I can’t hate her too much – she did get me an autographed poster once). Anyway, she thinks he’s way too skinny and doesn’t get the whole Robsession thing – or, in other words, thinks I’m (we’re all) nuts. I’ve always went for the long, lean type, so I have no problem with him. (NO PROBLEMOS AT ALL!) However, Rob, if you’re starting to feel a bit self-concious about the weight thing, I’m told I make a mean chocolate cookie. Say the word and I’ll fire up the oven ……..cookies, a bedtime story and some finger porn …oh, I’m robheaven now………

        • robgirl86 says:

          love that you’ve “NO PROBLEMOS AT ALL”, we 2 are very alike..

        • Maggie says:

          ugh! I wish I could type. Rob gets me so befuddled. (hmm. another hidden talent- befuddling the female population?). Anyway, I meant “chocolate chip cookie” and “I’m IN robheaven…not I am robheaven!!”

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          ” i know someone who sees him often in a business setting” – for a sec, i thought you were referencing me. as in, nearly every day i envision him in my office. but you know someone who ACTUALLY sees him. i don’t care if she gets you a signed poster, until she gets you a signed sealed and delivered ROB, she’s a bitch. god, i hate her.

          • Maggie says:

            I am totes aware that he visits your office daily, Miss Delusional NinaNat. Now, back to real life, I have a perpetual hate-on for this beotch that I mentioned – mostly because she’s so blase about the whole thing. “Ho hum, Rob Pattinson was in yesterday” (Can you just imagine??!!) She’s a sister of a good friend of mine and I’m constantly badgering my friend to set up a lunch date with her sister for us that will magically just happen to coincide with a day that a certain underweight client is coming in. No one pays me a bit of attention, tho. I’m just that “nutty Twilight friend”.

        • RobsFan-tasy says:

          hate her already and SWMNBN too!! Gah! that one really gets on my nerves! As for ur friend of a friend, let’s kidnapp her and hold her for ransom lol (jking ppl) the ransom fee? A week alone with Rob! Sound good? 🙂

          • Maggie says:

            I know. Every time I think about that sister of my friend and her whole “oh, it’s such a big yawn” attitude about the whole thing I just want to scream. Why can’t I work at her office?? I would kill for her job….

            re – SWMNBN – I could write a book about my feelings and thoughts on that subject, but I’d rather just swoon over Rob all the time instead.

            btw – did you see the interview that came out today with The Pretty and Reese Witherspoon? I posted it here, but I don’t think it went through. It’s out on a lot of other websites now. Reese is so cute in it. She’s just another fangirl like the rest of us when it comes to HHH.

          • RobsFan-tasy says:

            @ Maggie. Yeah I saw it He’s so f**k hawt I can’t stand it. I just was talking to my cousin who is only 3 days younger than me and she said Who’s Rob?? WTF??? are ppl blind?

            Did you see my post after your link post? lol That qualifies him for ALOT!!! *WEG*

        • robsfuturemate says:

          Mags- you’ve been holding out on us! I’m assuming this is the friend that could maybe get you to the premiere. Maybe a stake out at her work is in order! Don’t forget your friend a little bit south of you, LOL!

          • maggie says:

            Yep rfm, she was my dream route for getting a ticket to the WFE premiere, but since it’s in NY my hopes have been dashed 🙁 . It was a long shot anyway. She’s funny about this stuff. I nearly keeled over when I got the poster. Don’t worry, if I can ever get anything to happen through her that involves the physical presence of Mr. TheObjectofourAffection, I’ll let you know so you can hop on the freeway post haste.

            I hope my avi kicks in on this post!

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Woo-hoo!! Nice avi btw!

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Maggie – Wish I could be blase if I saw Rob. Like he was an everyday sort of event at the office, like the Costco guy delivering paper towels. Like you look up from your computer screen and there he is, but it’s such a common event that you get right back to work. I guess she’s lucky she doesn’t care about him, otherwise she’d never get any work done. Plus she’d have to go to outrageous lengths to dress up every single day and make sure her hair looked perfect – that would just take so much time and effort. Then again, I’d spend an hour each day blowing out my frizz-prone hair if I thought Rob might come in. And I’d do it gladly (of course, I’d be deaf from the hair dryer noise and my kids wouldn’t eat breakfast, but still).

          • Maggie says:

            nat: you’ve exactly expressed my frustration with this woman. I was thinking about how unfair life can be – like why SHE has that job and not someone (like, say me) who appreciates AllthatisRob and doesn’t just look at him like he’s nothing more than the mailman dropping off the mail. But then I realized that life is just being fair to Rob. It’s probably much better for him to go to a business meeting and see this woman barely giving him a second glance than to walk (strut) by someone like me who would be frozen, drooling, knocking over coffee cups and pencil holders, possibly convulsing and eventually keeling over on the floor in a dead faint.

    • robgirl86 says:

      we actually added 5kg (cause we KNOW..you know? 🙂 ), the old CV said 70kg on 1,85m…and yes…skinny guy!

      • melronin says:

        I take him skinny!!!!
        what??? that is not our point??

      • Alex says:

        Oh girls I dont think you have got his weight correct. He seems to have put on more since 2008/09……or dont add no more because some teens will die thinking he has become obese…LOL

        Dear Rob,

        Why dont you get on top of these 3 girls/ladies and let them feel your full body weight.

        • Maggie says:

          wait….did you just ask Rob to get on top of someone so they can test his weight??? Me, Me, Me…. I volunteer….Pick Me!!!!!

        • robgirl86 says:

          ..good point, we NEED to see this for realz!
          Don’t think that’s more now than 75/77kg, I’ve some friends like him& screen adds always extra kilos, BUT as u said, he should give us PROOF!<3

        • Cath says:

          Although this indicates something quite dirty, I’m not shying away from this task. Need to know how much he weighs indeed. LOL, best weird idea ever Alex! 🙂

    • southernbelle says:

      I think he is skinny and I agree with Cath that the camera adds pounds lol. I like Rob the way he is, skinny, lanky and tall. I think he’s perfect the way he is:). He still weighs quite a bit more than me so hey, even better!

      • RobsFan-tasy says:

        ditto. thin here too! But cookies won’t help He needs love. He said so himself! I Volunteer for that Full time job.

        Dear Rob,

        I’m A great cook and a completely devoted and loyal lady. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his tummy. lol How can you possibly lose? lol Love ya

        • Maggie says:

          Thanks for the tip, robsfan-tasy. I can do white chocolate chip (or anything else you want, Rob, baby).

          I don’t know what to do about YouTube. Biel should be able to help you. (She checks in here occasionally). They’ve shut her down and done awful stuff to her but she keeps going – fabulous queen of rob videos that she is. It might be the song. I have one video out there that says it can’t be played in Germany because of the song. (Weird, I know).

        • southernbelle says:

          Hi! I know what you mean, I love to cook too. I cook everything. On Twitter, I pretty much only tweet about Rob or cooking :).

          Rob won’t get fat on my cooking because I’m sure we can find some exercise to do together.

          • RobsFan-tasy says:

            Hi Southernbelle! yeah I’ve been cooking out of neccessity nsince I was 9. I use to stand on a foot stool so I wouldn’t get burnt on the stove and so I could see of course. lol

            *nudge* Hey I hear Brits Reeaallly fall for women with Southern accents. LOL We got that in common. *wink*

  29. Alex says:

    Oh God…..Please Let this be that random day that Rob decides to check this site.

    He will be amazed to know how much we know about him and how much we love him.

    Love this post Girls.

    …fingure porn, Jaw porn…you know those porn stuff…Are they special abilities of him?

    Reading & making up Bedtime Stories? Like Tyler and Rob


    Oh Rob

    To me The most significant ability of him is his “GIGLING”
    Those giglings make me really really happy. Listening to him gigling is a Proven therapy/relaxing technique after a long streeful work.

    • Maggie says:

      Great post Alex. All the various porn of his and his delicious giggles most definitely belong on his CV. Very important talents, indeed. And I totes agree – I think he would be giggling his head off reading todays postings.

      And how could we forget his storytelling/bedtime telling abilities? I think I’d sell my soul to be able to fluff up my pillows and have him snuggle up next to me and tell me that whack-a-doodle buddha story.

    • drsaka says:

      that’s all part of the general smexiness that is Rob!

    • JellyBeanRainbow says:

      Oh God…..Please Let this – NOTTTTTT – be that random day that Rob decides to check this site.

      Cuz we have to play it cool, ya know

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Yah, agree. We have to act all nonchalant the day he visits this site. I can play it cool, just not sure about the others here.

        And by “play it cool” I mean I won’t know how to even respond to him if/when he ever posts here. I’d type something beyond stupid no doubt (which would be OK since I’d be the 498th person to respond to his post & he’d never read it anyhow).

  30. Alex says:

    Ment to say ” Stressful work”

    What about SINGING?

  31. Alex says:

    Hey Girls….I know we are having fun with these things about Rob…..But If you think about it…. These SKILLS of him are the MAIN reason that we truely love him.

    “Just by being himself”

    If he was like any other actors in HW….He would be giving well rehersed, PR approved, politically acceptable, critically loved interviews …. we would not be so much obsessed with him like this. He would have been Just another well trained good looking HW star……BORING.

    I love this current version of ROB.

    Refreshing, Raw, Raunchy Rob

    So, All these abilities are so special and unique. Thats why I love him so much. Seriously

  32. RobsFan-tasy says:

    @ maggie your welcome and Maybe we should get together and “cook” up something to lure the precious out of hiding!
    or better yet pull up infront of the BD compound with a Hot Pockets & heinekein Lunch wagon. lmao maybe that’ll get him out. ya think?

    and yes it’s the song on my vid. it’s not even the original singer. WTF?

  33. trixi says:

    you forgot to add that he’s highly skilled at mumbling under languages.

  34. RobsFan-tasy says:

    @ Maggie: “only 98.789%?? Slacker!!”

    Lmao!! sorry I should have clarified. RomeROB GETS the other percentage!!

    hey cool my avi works now! Thanx again drsaka!

  35. Maggie says:

    OMG! OMG! OMG! I just got this on facebook. I hope the link works. It’s the interview for tonight on ET with Reese Witherspoon and The Pretty. A NEW ROB INTERVEIW I died. I’m dead. THUD. Went to heaven. I love all you ladies and want to share this with you all.

    See you in Rob Heaven….


  36. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight and LetterstoTwilight, Alyssandra. Alyssandra said: RT @letter2twilight: It's time for a NEW LTR: Updating Rob's Resume – http://tinyurl.com/68zvuwr […]

  37. robsfuturemate says:

    THE FAIRY ROBMOTHER VISITED ME LAST NIGHT!!!! Twice. Although, the second one was like a flip thru a magazine or something but still. It’s been absolutely ages so I am beyond stoked!!!!

    Rob and I shared a large but modest two story home with our son (who looked just like my nephew). All of a sudden there was some sort of fire and Rob was glad. He said it could warm him up and make his skin a little darker. I knew he meant so people wouldn’t know what he was (but I didn’t really know what he was. he was more Rob than Edward). I took our son out of the house and told the people outside (the fire was already raging) that I had to get one thing.
    Apparently, my husband wasn’t worried (the fire couldn’t hurt him), he was upstairs taking a SHOWER!! (now why couldn’t I remember what he looked like at this point) I told him he had to come out or we were thru (as if). He wouldn’t come and I told the fire dept. that there was no one in there. They asked about my husband but I said we hadn’t seen him in a while.
    They then told me the fire was set off from cigarrettes and I said that’s my husbands ex. And imagined her smoking and looking at magazines in our house.

    WEIRD. Not a great smexy dream. But he was there, we interacted and he was mine…not hers! So, all in all a pretty good dream.

    • RobsFan-tasy says:

      YAAAAYY RFM!!! You go Girl!!!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Congrats on the dream. Reminds me of that Talking Heads song. Shakedown dreams walking in broad daylight & all.

      Watch out…you might get what you’re after.
      Cool babies…strange but not a stranger.

    • robgirl86 says:

      so funny!

    • Maggie says:

      Contgrats on the dream. Very detailed. And very weird, as most dreams should be, but lots and lots of Rob. Lucky girl.

      (Sigh and) Signed: SWOGTDADOR: She Who Only Gets to Dream about Dreaming of Rob. 🙁

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Kellen Lutz was in my dream last night. WRONG TWILIGHT GUY!!! GOD! WTF?

        We were in woodshop class (I’ve never taken woodshop) and he kept making goo-goo eyes at me and trying to flirt. We were making a treehouse together. I went up to the treehouse to check it out and he followed me up the ladder. I was terrified he was going to try and kiss me and I couldn’t find an escape. WRONG TWILIGHT GUY, Mr. Sandman.

        So so far, I’ve had Rob’s stunt double and Kellan. What next…I’ll never be lucky enough to get Christoph Waltz…maybe Paul Giamatti. He’s most likely next in line.

      • robsfuturemate says:

        Don’t worry Maggie and Nat, your Robdream time will come! I’ve only had 2 proper Robdreams and as you can see they’re not even that great. Sometimes he makes guest appearances but I don’t get to talk to him. Those are the most frustrating.
        2 proper Robdreams in 2 years is not very good odds 🙁

    • kristen's bestie says:

      That is f-ing hilarious. Don’t ya just love dreams?!?

    • I've been Robbed says:

      Congrats on your robdream- looks like your screen name predicted your dream! Do I get it- that he doesn’t recognize the fire (burning in your heart I’m sure). But taking a long warm shower, that sounds like a parallel for sex to me, so maybe you got some, just indirectly!

      • robsfuturemate says:

        I love that dream interpretation! hehe The funny thing about the shower was that it all just seemed normal. Can you imagine looking at Rob in the shower everyday as a ho-hum normal occurance?! NEVER!

  38. robgirl86 says:

    wanna thank everybody for commenting, you ladies are awesome!
    thx to Cath<3 and Drsaka<3, it's always a huge FUN!
    & of course thx to UC/Moon to have post our lil letter!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Hilarious letter, Robgirl! And Rob, if you are reading this, bow down to the talents of Robgirl, Cath and DrSaka — and when you are down bowing, thank Moon and UC for letting it all exist. And when your are done with that, go ahead and post here. The water is warm, plenty of free cookies, and you can take as many long showers as you like, even if we are all on fire (no thanks to you!).

    • drsaka says:

      Same goes for me! Thanks to all the commentors-

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