Red Carpet Rob

Dear Rob,

As I get ready to turn on the red carpet for the Oscars, I am silently saying a prayer that that horrible man from Summit was wrong about “No Twilight cast being at the Oscars” and you will show. The “Robscars” are when my love & so many others love was solidified for you for all eternity. It’s when LTR almost broke because of the literally thousands of comments we had of your short, but sweet & hot performance. The thought of you not being there when I turn on the TV in approximately 5 minutes is almost too much to bear.

I thought to help myself grieve, I’d reminisce about your other red carpet performances in the form of an award show. So presenting:

The First annual LTR awards to Rob and only Rob for his performances at various Red Carpets around the Globe

The award for “No one could make this look hot but you” goes to:

Rob Pattinson for his portrayal of “Hot guy in a Maroon suit” at the Eclipse Premiere

The award for “Best Channeling of an 80’s sitcom uncle, just add the mullet” goes to:

Rob “Uncle Jesse Katsopolis” Pattinson

Award for “Best, Straight-forward, no funny-business, drop-dead gorgeous look on the red carpet” goes to:

Rob Pattinson Oscars, 2009.

Runner up goes to Rob Pattinson: New Moon premiere, November 2009 for this look, and this look only:

Award for “Best ability to control oneself in the presence of a she-man” goes to :

Rob Pattinson at the London premiere of Twilight, standing in front of a she-man, because the PR firm handling the red-carpet didn’t understand Twilight was about vampires.

Award for “About to break into a Contemporary Christian “Praise & Worship Song” on the red carpet” goes to:

Rob Pattinson for his uplifting time in Japan in 2009.

(The Award for “Leading us in a time of prayer” was given out earlier in the night to:

Rob Pattinson for his heartfelt, spirit-moved prayer time in Japan in 2009.)

Award for Best smile at an award’s show goes to:

Rob Pattinson & his mouth & face & smile for this video:

(Earlier tonight, This video also won the award for “Most Appropriate music to listen to whilest looking at video of Rob Pattinson’s Smile”)

So while my fingers are still crossed (and now uncrossed as I revisit this post at 12 am after the show & after the “big surprise” Summit promised which was funny but not “big” and they didn’t lie- you were not there) that you’ll show, at least reminiscing about your many wonderful red carpet experiences of the past is pretty fun too.

One day we’ll have another RObcars moment together,

UnintendedChoice

What award did I miss giving out to Rob? Did you watch the show last night? What did you think of the Eclipse- auto tuned segment?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

79 Responses to “Red Carpet Rob”

  1. Dionrenee says:

    I totally loved Rob’s Uncle Jesse look, all messy and sex hair!! The good old days!!

    • robgirl86 says:

      so true! Horray for the blue jacket & the misbuttoned shirt & something coming out his pants…or so..

      • melronin says:

        “Something is coming out of his pants” ????
        ______________________________________
        I need to see this ๐Ÿ˜€ …again….

    • guitargirl says:

      This is my favourite too! I’m quite glad Rob wasn’t at the Oscars as I’d much prefer an award ceremony for ‘Best Hobo.’ I like him best when he’s messy, giggly, and has no brain filter whatsoever. There’s plenty of guys dressed like shop mannequins, but theres only one Rob. Hobo Chic For the Win!

      • minuit_passe says:

        Yes, street style Rob FTW, I don’t want to bang anyone dressed like a pengouin. Though got to admit he had the balls, I mean he felt adventurous enough to turn his back to the she-male.

        PS
        Dear Rob,
        The blue jacket looks like it was KStew’s. Yes, that small. BUt the appeareance was grand.
        x’s & o’s or whatever
        me

        (o’s as in kisses of course, what else)

    • drsaka says:

      The Uncle Jesse look is great; I just noticed that the blue jacket is a touch too small; we’ll add it to his tiny jackets collection.

  2. Ambella says:

    Did you guys see the preshow thingie with Reese W talking about being “team edward”? Gah….she downplays him so much.

    I love christian Rob….very Michael W. Smith……”friends are friends forever”…….

    • lindsaylee says:

      i saw Micheal W in concert last week! He is touring with Amy Grant – no Rob though…

      • robsfuturemate says:

        Aww! Reminds me of my first concert…DCTalk and MWS opening for Amy Grant!! I just remembered that I saw Michael in concert last year, and that guy still is hot! Okay, and a great musician. He sang all the classics!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I cringed when they asked if Reese was Team Edward. Why must that question go on?

      I was hoping she’d respond “I’m full on Team Jacob Jankowski now, bitch! Not to mention PILF Rob – hey, aren’t you with Vanity Fair? Can you explain what is going on with the Amish Fiddler on the Bayou thing?”

      • The Old One says:

        I cringed too. Can we be done with the Team thing?

      • roslynselene says:

        Ah! Me too! It irks me when they ask stupid question like that to people who have nothing to do with Twilight. Didn’t the interviewer say she was a fan of the WFE book? Well here’s a novel idea: why not ask about WFE instead of Twilight? *gasp* What a great idea! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. robgirl86 says:

    Somehow I was ok with No-Rob at the Oscars, so I could sleep.
    (timezone is mostly against me in my Roblove)
    Eclipse clip…..no comment ๐Ÿ™‚
    & I would give Rob a special award for the “G”-reat “G”-ucci show he did lately, for….

    best-f*ckhot-looking-man-in-BLUE-with-shiny-shoes!

  4. yertlesmom says:

    Such a sad night with no red carpet Rob–and only old video to look at. Here’s to next year. PLEASE, PLEASE have Rob be GREAT in Water for Elephants so he will be there next year as a nominee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh, and the LTT tweet last night about Rob being the plaid Banksy was CLASSIC!!!!!!!

  5. dazzledtodeath says:

    Rob,
    I sat through yet another dull, embarrassing awards show hoping against hope to see your face, a beacon of hotness amid a sea of meh. Alas, it was not to be and I ending up reading some smutty fanfiction to cheer myself up.

    Please buy a new suit, muss your hair a bit and go somewhere, anywhere so that we can see you in all your cleaned up fuckhot glory. I don’t care if it’s just to buy lunch, beer or new underwear, just give us a glimpse of Red Carpet Rob. Yes, I’m greedy. I know you were at the Golden Globes in January but you can never have too much RCR.

    • robgirl86 says:

      Dazzle, I always like the Oscars, but dunno,it’s becoming so “old” looking, but maybe that’s just me…

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Dear Rob,

      I have a red carpet in our basement. Now, I don’t like going down to the basement because I’m convinced it is haunted. The previous occupant’s husband just died at the dinner table – poof- the end for him. And some of previous occupant’s husband’s belongings are still in the basement, so I think his spirit just hangs around down there, looking at his old golf clubs, records and tennis rackets. I don’t want to remove those items, because I don’t want some poltergeist coming upstairs. In any event, there is a red carpet in our basement. I’m willing to drag it out for you, should you want to make a red carpet appearance as I’m doing laundry down there tonight. It’s nice and soft, padded, and I think you’ll find the flickering lights down there to be romantic. I’ll even put on some Jay-Z since apparently you like dancing to that. You don’t have to wear a tux. I won’t threaten you with any pretty alligators. Just me, you, red carpet and a washer/dryer. Did you see Little Children, Rob? There was a great scene with a washer/dryer in that film. Just an idea.

      Love,
      Moi

  6. drsaka says:

    I do like the dark gray suit brown shirt and gray/brown tie ensemble he wore in Japan 2009, though it is kinda shiny.

  7. melronin says:

    I used to love watching award shows. Oscars and Golden Globes and Emmies and Baftas and Sag… you get the point…was one of the most loyal audience evaaaaa…literally studied these stuff…

    But after Robscars…nothing is the same for me any more! Any award without Rob showing up in all his gorgeous hotness to light up my screen with his befuddled smile is just not worth it! I rather sleep and dream of him!!!

    Rob baby
    Oscars will never be the same without you! And if these people do not get that…well it’s def their loss!!! And you at the Cannes red carpet still gets my first noonebutyoucouldlooksohot award!!!

    Love ya
    Mel

    • robgirl86 says:

      OMG Cannes…I totally forgot that one,
      La Cote d’azur & La Croisette LOVES you Rob, so please come back this year!

      • melronin says:

        Think he never looked more stunning than in Cannes!
        And never enjoyed it so much either! He looked like an Archangel…or like the god of love (forget Aphrodite!!!)am carried away a bit here ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. RobsFan-tasy says:

    I didn’t even bother to watch. No Rob=No me!
    as for all the other “so-called” pretty faces? If it ain’t Robert Pattinson It ain’t worth my time

  9. Nelle says:

    Not a hater but just happy they didn’t autotune Kristen.

  10. Vera says:

    I watched it. Anxious, disappointed and angry, in this order.

    And the Oscar to the actor that raises small characters up to unforgettable characters, even though he’s acted in ridiculous movies, goes to you, babe.

    Missing you like crazy

    Lots of love

    Me

  11. robsfuturemate says:

    Yeah, I watched. The clip kinda made me smile, at least it was some form of Rob. But I was glad to see a little A.Garf in the audience. Britpack for the Win!!

    • Robsessedgirl says:

      AS USUAL YOU READ MY MIND. my baby boy……oh Andrew. i cannot deal with his face. AND HE WAS SITTING WITH HIS BOYFRIEND aka Jesse. nbd.

      • southernbelle says:

        LoL I actually thought of you when I saw Andrew behind Nicole Kidman) last night.

      • robsfuturemate says:

        LOL! To clarify, I have not fallen down the Garfield Hole. I just like to see a little Britpack now and then! Especially if there’s no Rob there ๐Ÿ™ (and I thought of you as well!)

  12. Brenn says:

    Dear Rob,

    I miss you.

    Me.

  13. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    You forgot the “Award for still looking hot whilst being practically carried away by bodyguards after the after party”

    Of course I was watching, till the end, still hoping, against all the odds, that Jesse will win and that Rob will magically appear on the stage and present an award for the best movie or something. Hoping till the bitter end.
    (And every time Lainey mentioned Colin in her tweets I jumped up and started looking for Colin Farrell in the audience.)

  14. natteringyeahrobber says:

    At some point in the show (and I cannot remember which point since DH made me a strong gin and tonic – I figured it was an appropriate drink for all the King’s Speech clips that would be aired), someone (Anne?) was doing an introduction to the next guest and she (or was it he?) said something about a person who can raise the energy in the room just by walking into it (don’t quote me on that, but somebody said something about a person, energy and a room). And I IMMEDIATELY though, OMFG, Rob is finally gonna appear and people are gonna go nuts, about fucking time. But no, just Oprah. I was really bummed. Suddenly my gin and tonic seemed like it needed more gin.

  15. maggie says:

    Rob:

    Missing you. Hope to see a lot of you soon as the promos for WFE amp up. These droughts are sheer torture.

    Love, M.

  16. Robsessedgirl says:

    I knew he wasn’t going to be there but I only watched for Jesse and Andrew. and i was completely disappointed. Yes, The Kings Speech was a good movie. but The Social Network was the best movie of the year by far. JUST SAYING. i know that’s irrelevant but i just wanted to say it. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW ANDREW LOOKED sweet jesus on toast. if only Rob could’ve been there to keep their bromance alive.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I never really “got” crushing on AGarf until last night. He did look hot – and given the lack of Rob at the Oscars, I had no choice but to crush on AGarf.

      I knew Rob wouldn’t be there, but I was trying to comfort myself with the fact that I’d still get to see Colin Firth, Russel Brand, Mark Ruffalo and James Franco. Colin was good (and as always, well spoken), Russell was just OK (and looking thinner and bonier than ever! ugh!), I missed Mark completely (maybe he was on when I was drunk and missed it), and Franco was subpar in the performance dept.

      But AGarf – he was my surprise. I’m liking the way he’s growing up. And he’s closer to my age than Rob by 3 years! As Anne H. might say, woooo-hoooo!

      • Robsessedgirl says:

        ugh Andrew is my jewish baby deer I JUST CANNOT PUT MY LOVE FOR HIM INTO WORDS. you should jump on the bandwagon with me.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Uh – I wrote a response to this in the form of a Dear Andrew letter, but for some reason it won’t post. I guess Dear Andrew letters not allowed here, oh well! The letter involved grass stains, laundry, and more grass stains. And Andrew. He’s my new alternate-crush (of the week).

  17. The Old One says:

    “Uplifting time in Japan” — sneaky, very sneaky.

  18. roslynselene says:

    I watched about 30 min of the Oscars and then went to dinner instead (who gets a milkshake for dessert when it’s freezing nuts and balls in LA? I DO!). Anywhoozle, don’t we get VF this week? So excited for that one. Oh! And the new cover of WFE comes out as well, no? I lost my WFE book last year and I have a Barnes & Noble gift card that needs to be used. I like this week already. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Woo-hoo for the new WFE book!! I ordered mine ages ago and can’t wait for my first “official”movie tie-in book! WFE needed to be my first!! And I think I’m buying my first mag as well. The rest have been gifts ๐Ÿ˜‰

  19. *sigh* He’s so pretty…

  20. Vera says:

    It’s getting harder to find sites where one can enjoy Rob … Still, if you dare criticize his Twilight co-star the world falls down. WTF!!

  21. Janetrigs says:

    Clearly

  22. maggie says:

    UC & Moon: LOVED the break down of the Robscar Red Carpet Awards. Right on the money.

    While watching the show last night, I started wondering about the dimwit at Scummit who is running PR for Twilight. Keeping the cast (Rob) and production under lock and key for 6 months doesn’t endear them to the fan base – it probably has actually lost them some fans. That little “treat” last night was absurd and, if anything, appealed to teenage fans. Again, Scummit doesn’t know their audience. They act like we (the older crowd) are irrelevant. Then there’s all the other NONsense they promote. I can’t wait for Rob to be done with Twilight.

    Thank goodness VF is coming out in 2 days. And WFE is NOT a Scummit production, so promotions should be good – as opposed to the bang up job Scummit did for RM.

    One more Oscar note: Colin Firth was looking mighty fine!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I think Summit PR must be on auto-tune. Like if someone on the PR staff at Summit gets any smart ideas on how to promote the series, a computer programmed only with the words no, Robsten, Nonsten, Team, shirtless, Summit, cockblock, and tween autocorrects that PR person.

      PR person: Maybe we should have Rob go on Ellen or again, or have some other interesting/witty person (maybe even a coherent fan!) interview him.

      Autotune Summit Computer: tweens, no.

      PR Person: Or maybe Rob can do another photoshoot or maybe show up to sign DVDs somewhere.

      Autotune Summit Computer: Summit, no, cockblock, no shirtless, no.

      PR person: Rob’s pretty intelligent and fans love to hear him talk. Or hell, just walk. Let’s set him free for a week or so (with security of course). Endear him even more to them.

      Autotune Summit Computer: Summit, no, cockblock, Robsten, Nonsten, Robsten, Nonsten, no no no no Robsten Nonsten, cockblock, Summit, no, no.

      • maggie says:

        LOL! Finally it all makes sense! A programmed machine is running the whole show. I should have known. No living person working for Scummit could really be this obtuse, right?

        Autotune Summit Computer: Note to self: plant news item bi-monthly of R & K seen (fill in the blank with list of provided activities – eating, dancing, shopping, rubbing each others back, etc.) together. Check database for subjects’ actual whereabouts to be sure news item will be at least remotely feasible.

        Autotune Summit Computer: Note to self: Leak story about a puppy. May be true, may not. Doesn’t matter. Puppies = win.

  23. southernbelle says:

    Well I had a feeling Rob won’t be there last night but I thought it was worth a shot hoping and watching anyway. The show quickly became a little boring for me when I realized that the “apple of my eye” wasn’t going to be there at all. Instead there was a cheesy, lame-o Twi skit or whatever it is.

    So thanks Moon and UC for indulging us with these lovely pictures of Rob, love the captions as well!

    Oscars 2009 was one of the best ever, well because Rob was there! I watched that short clip of him having a conversation with someone in the audience. I can’t even count how many times I’ve seen it! Whoever it was was so darn lucky to captivate his attention. Not to mention he did the panty-dropping stare. Gahhh.

  24. Tiffany says:

    O M GEEEE!!! Rob leading prayer and worship was HILARIOUS! He totally looks like THAT GUY!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I LOVE the placement of “The World” over Rob’s crotch.

      LOVE it.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Or hate it. I cannot decide.

        Great article. Touches on media exploitation, but then VF puts “the world” on his crotch. I guess I love it. Or hate it.

        • roslynselene says:

          Haha! I didn’t notice that! Good eye. And I L’dMAO when I read “(And why 20 million girls wish they were this alligator)” Bhahaha!

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