Breaking it down text style: The kiss, VJ day, miracles and Water for Elephants

Just priming the lips......

Dear Rob,

Since you decided to up and out yourself yesterday while UC was away from her computer (the blog elves let her out for a weekend!) and away from gchat we were forced to break down this momentous glorious splendiferous news via text. So I present to you in cooperation with AT&T and iPhone the first ever Breaking it down texting style… (cheers from the crowd)…
.

Moon: Well that happened. Let me know when you wanna break it down…

UC: What? What happened? ROBSTEN sex tape ? (Please love that my phone knows to automatically put ROBSTEN in caps)

Moon: I like that your mind goes immediately to a Robsten sex tape and not like we found Osama Bin Laden or maybe I have a boyfriend or something of actual consequence!

UC: So, you’re saying it’s not?

Moon: it’s a kiss picture! A very obvious let’s kiss they’re all looking picture. Prepare yourself for the meltdown

UC: Send me pics!!

UC: Robsten is pr. ROBSTEN is promoting wfe!!!

Moon: Crazy nonstener!!!! Their love is not a product of the man or a movie studio! How dare you!

UC: Has anyone committed suicide yet? Attempts on K’s life?

Moon: Hahahah No, thank god! Theres a lot of “duh, told you so,” “happy for HIM” and general epic love-ness going around.

UC: Has half of robs fan base given up on him?

UC: this news means my life is complete. I believe in love. I want to rush home & make a baby

Robsten makes people do stuff like this

Moon: If anything this whole thing has made me believe in love again too. I’m on my way out to find a man and kiss him in the streets like it’s VJ day. This is our generation’s VJ day!

UC: Do you know any Lionel Richie lyrics by heart?

Moon: My endless looooove!!

UC: Upon viewing… my heart skipped a beat. I mean it’s kissing. No one else does it like that. No one.

Moon: Never in the history of the world have two people pecked in the back of a cab like that.

Moon: I wonder if anyone was spontaneously healed after viewing these pictures.

Moon: Did any wheel chair ridden robsten fans stand up and walk? Did a blind cat see again?

UC: Did a barren woman suddenly become pregnant with twins?

Moon: One named rob the other named Kristen?

Yes, this happened

UC: Did pigs put on little dresses and fly overhead?

UC: Did divorce cease to exist?

UC: Did all women become the perfect size 2?

UC: Did every restaurant taste as good as calypso cafe- where I’m currently sitting in Nashville?

Moon: Did every day become a weekend? Is April 17 now considered a national holiday?

UC: Yes. We need to contact hallmark to get them to make cards

Moon: I can’t believe the post office and banks are still open. This is a BIG deal. Where is Obama!??

Someone cue "Robsten the Beautiful"

UC: He’s preparing a moment of silence for the country. The white house has had a strict no speaking policy all morning

Moon: I bet even Libya is calling a cease fire in honor of this event

UC: World hunger ceased and everyone’s stomachs were filled with food.

Moon: Water turned into (boxed) wine again. And there was much rejoicing

UC: Our country’s anthem has now changed to “God bless ROBSTEN” and “Robsten the beautiful.”

Ladies you can't be mad at this face for long!!

Moon: I wonder if the Vatican called a special session to discuss saint hood for the holy couple and any future offspring?

While sadly none of these things did happen after the kiss heard round the internets we both had a smile on our faces and love in our hearts so that’s what matters. And you know what else REALLY matters? You’re in a movie coming out this Friday called Water for Elephants! Amazing!

Happy VJ Day!
Themoonisdown

Was anyone miraculously healed after this event? Does anyone still care enough to be surprised? Did anyone look at the slow mo gif of the kiss and thing “is that really a kiss??” Maybe.

Salacious photos courtesy of Popsugar

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160 Responses to “Breaking it down text style: The kiss, VJ day, miracles and Water for Elephants”

  1. Valerie says:

    Really wish I was made into a size 2 by this amazing event! 😉
    Though it must really be spectacular my hubs was talking about how R&K were having public PDA, sharing a room at the hotel & ordering room service. I asked him how he knew, he says “I know things!”. Lol he listen to the radio come to find out.

    Man haven’t commented in forever and a day…..

  2. dazzledtodeath says:

    Eh, changes nothing for me. And btw if you look at the video you’ll see she oh-so-coyly turns her face from Rob like he has cooties. Oh you naughty boy Rob-did you forget she wants to keep something for herself?

    I’m just a little disappointed Rob allowed this whole spectacle, whatever it is, to detract from the premiere of his first major film after Twilight. Good luck with moving away from Twilight and Edward when in the eyes of many you’re living it out with your real-life Bella.

    I still adore Rob, although I question his judgment (and possible taste).

    • Sakes says:

      Dont think rob did this for attention or to take away from his premier. dont get why everyone’s all disappointed. This happened after the premier, in a waiting car by a back exit. he just hopped in the car and kissed his girl, why is that such a bad thing. he was happy and celebrating his movie. People please dont be like that. Love Rob to death btw.

      • dazzledtodeath says:

        This isn’t only Rob’s movie/premiere-it’s Fox’s, Reese’s, Christoph’s-and while I’m not saying it was done purposely (or that it wasn’t), Rob is savvy enough to know that when she’s around it instantly becomes the R’sten Show. What were people talking about? KSpew was there!!
        Since neither party has actually ever confirmed the status of their “relationship”, a true circus atmosphere follows wherever they go. If Rob had walked the red carpet with someone he acknowledged as his girlfriend, it would be meh-big deal. But pics of him leaving with Spew take the whole focus off what he was there for-WFE. Instead shippers are making gifs and inspecting pics with magnifying glasses looking for epic love. If Rob can’t come out and say, yes, I’m in a relationship, it can’t be much of a relationship. I don’t believe he’s afraid of crazy fans-if that’s the case he may as well resign himself to never having an open relationship.

        • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

          So, because people obsess over his private life, he shouldn’t be allowed to have one? I’m sure he’s somewhat aware that there’s tons of people out there who’s life depends on “are they?” or “aren’t they?”, but maybe he’s decided that it doesn’t matter – he just wants to do what makes him happy. From what I’ve seen, Rob’s a very kind and considerate person. I just don’t think he’d do anything like “out” the relationship for attention or whatever. He’s genuine. He’s real. He loves. He hurts. He’s human.

    • Nelle says:

      The video I saw it looked liked a nonkiss. He went in, she turned away and grinned. I was 2nd hand embarrassed for him.

  3. Edible art ? says:

    Love it – anyone who doesn’t is probably dead inside ha ha ha

    • Edible art? says:

      Awww please don’t let me get more downthumbs than up ! That’s never happened to me before I am normally so non confrontational. Just today like Rob I though eff it I’m gonna do this – should know better I suppose !!!!

      • Ms. J says:

        No downthumbs here hon. I have always been of the “who cares, its their business” camp but when I saw those photos……..my heart just melted & I had a big goofy smile on my face all day. I just love LUV.

    • roslynselene says:

      Y’all are being sarcastic, right? I feel stupid to ask but the only way to read that is through sarcasm. Lol

  4. SaritaPagita says:

    I saw a tweet Monday to the effect of: I don’t see their lips actually touch in those pics. So until I do, I’m not believing anything.

    (that sounds a lot like something that rhymes with melusional)

    Also, love that you girls are all “aww” about it. 🙂

  5. I don’t know which one is more of a master piece: the breakdown or the flying pig photo!!!

  6. Allryans says:

    I got more tongue than that the next morning. #macking

  7. Robsessedgirl says:

    I’m sort of done with Rob at this point. I mean, I’m guessing he was WASTED after the premiere and not thinking. It’s kinda like she’s like eww Rob get away from me i’m too awk for that. but still, if this is what he’s doing, then I’m sorta done. It’s taking away from this amazing movie that I’ve been looking forward to for a year. I’ll still see it of course, but, I’m just over it.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I totally understand. I was prepared to go full-on with my AGarf crushing on Monday after I saw the video clip. I even Google Imaged Andrew, madly looking for hot images, so I could transfer all my emotions over. Like this one: http://i56.tinypic.com/2h4m78l.jpg (very LTR pose)

      Then Ros posted the Unscripted video clip. Godamn you, Ros (and thank you). In about 30 seconds, I came right back to Rob. So much for resolve. I’m weak. So much for rebounding with Andrew (though Boy A is set to arrive from Netflix today & I heard he’s really good in it).

      There’s plenty of Rob to go round. And the best thing about fantasies is you can program them so it’s just him (and maybe Andrew too).

      • roslynselene says:

        Bringing back the Rob fans one vid at a time. I should get payyyyyed for damage control when Rob does something ridiculous. You should see the vid I posted below. His facial expressions are hilar!

      • drsaka says:

        Boy A is very good-

        • Robsessedgirl says:

          I haven’t seen Boy A yet, I’m planning to soon. BUT YOU MUST SEE NEVER LET ME GO. that’s my favorite movie he’s done. every human needs to see that. I’ve pretty much completely transferred to Andrew at this point.

          • drsaka says:

            I did! AG is very good in both films-

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            Never Let Me Go is a very good (if not very heavy and emotionally draining) movie. But. He can act. No questions there. Looking forward to Boy A.

          • Robsessedgirl says:

            I cried harder than I have in a while at Never Let Me Go. reading the book makes it worse. That movie just tore out my heart and stomped on it. I cannot even begin to describe it. I’M SO EXCITED FOR SPIDERMAN. and if you want to talk about Andrew’s acting….that scene where he gets out of the car towards the end of Never Let Me Go….I was shaking. I can’t wait to watch Boy A.

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            Oh yah. The car scene. The final scene. I was seriously a mess. I usually don’t get all emotional. Andrew and Carey Mulligan were so awesome.

      • pukesten says:

        a garf is certainly bringing the hotness with that one!!
        but then it just remimds me of the one rob did for aonther man the one with the over coat ala james dean… let me go find the link… here we go
        http://tengossip.com/2009/10/01/robert-pattinson-another-man-magazine-scans/

        oh rob you are more diffucult to quit that cigarettes

    • Alex says:

      Are you serious?

      Why do we behave like 13yr olds or shippers?

      You,me,Uc Moon and all LTR girls hadand have the choice of totally ignore the kiss and focus on WFE.

      After a very long like two weeks promotion and the premiere LTR decided to talk about Robsten.

      You guys are such a hypocrates.

      Are you comparing few seconds of emparresing kiss to the epic premiere and the promotion….?

      HELLO…

      Rob is still promoting the film. He did Ellen and J Kimmel today.

      So every one who worry about robsten stealing the show can stop focusing on Robsten and rewatch 10000s of WFE interviews.

      PS: I am not a shipper but guys dont act like imature kids. What can I say if a Few second of robsten clip can ruin WFE film for you guys?

      • Robsessedgirl says:

        WOW. never has such an idiot graced LTR. wait, scratch that, i’ve seen you here before. your opinions aren’t wanted, and you can go back to 3rd grade now.

        • Alex says:

          I think you should go back to 2nd grade if few seconds clip can ruine WFE film for you.

          Here is another one whos got hurt by Robsten…….Based on the comments here now I am wonderting if Pigs have already stated flying…LOL

          BTW: Rob has fans round the world….inlcuding nonenglish speaking fans.

      • roslynselene says:

        Well the letter WAS about the “kiss” so we discussed it. We also discussed him on Ellen and posted WFE stills and other stuff.

        PS. Let’s not kid ourselves. Whether we’d like to ignore it, Robsten is going to get more people to comment over it because it’s ridiculously become bigger than Rob and everyone has an opinion on it. The good thing is that there were no fights, nonsten-robsten debates, and no KS bashing. 🙂

    • pukesten says:

      robsessed girl those were my exact thoughts as well – bleh i’m so over this and to be honest i’m kind of thinking i’m so over him i’ve lost respect for him if he’s done this cos he knows it will explode over the interwebs and magazines and he wants to provoke the reaction or gain publicity.

      but then (and i can’t believe i’m admitting this on ltr) i had a 20 second weakness where i thought, rob wouldn’t to that. he’s intelligent and down to earth and does his own thing. he’s above all that. and maybe he just kissed her cos he loves her and he’s just a sweet boyfriend who’s head over heels with his gf and doesn’t care who sees the pda….

      and then i threw up a bit in my own mouth and have come to rest with this, despite how beatiful he is, i cannot get over that he is with someone who would turn their head when their boy goes in for a kiss. unfortunately robsten had ruined rob for me.

      • drsaka says:

        Steady on, just watch all the interviews from the last couple of days.

      • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

        Seriously… you’re over him? He’s acting “this” way? How exactly is he acting? Hmmm… have you considered that maybe he’s not. Maybe he saves the “acting” for the big screen? I don’t know. Maybe he just loves the girl. The heart wants what the heart wants. It’s not exactly something in which one controls. And… we do not know Kristen (or Rob for that matter). But, we sure as hell can judge the girl! You know, she may have a chip on her shoulder, but perhaps that chip was placed there by all the fans (largely grown-ass women) who bash her constantly. Geez. Plus, if they want to keep their relationship private for some reason, it’s their right. They don’t owe us every detail of their lives. We don’t know why it’s kept under wraps. There could be a very good reason. But, let’s all just jump to conclusions and assume it’s all some big conspiracy, game, etc. I just don’t get how some people have to critique every little thing he does. Seriously… the man was probably just happy and excited over the premier and wanted to kiss his girlfriend. But, you go ahead and be over him. That’s fine. I’m sure Rob’s devastated that one of his billion fans has decided he’s playing games and wants nothing else to do with him. Oh, listen… Do you hear that? Rob’s playing “My Heart Bleeds for You” on the guitar.

        • pukesten says:

          I got bored halfway through so I didn’t finish all that but I presume you were saying that I should never criticise rob and that he can do no wrong and any criticism is born out of jealousy and that it’s people like me are the reason poor kstew cant kiss her boyfriend in public blah blah blah etc etc

          you see the thing is I can be a rob fan and separate how pretty he is from his acting and how he acts (in public.). so I cat say think I can say something negative but still want to see himdo well andgo watch his films. unfortunately it’s gotten almost impossible to separate rob from robsten.

          also to be honest when switch off my laptop and go back to my job, studying for exams and trying to get a research paper out I don’t really give rob and Meissen a second thought I jve my own real life and it not affected by rob, coming in LTR and robsessed is just a nice escape for a few hours, Ron isn’t infallible and unless we’ve all moves to north Korea I’m pretty sure I give n opinion on him that’s negative.

          (I always get carried away with the typing!€

  8. robgirl86 says:

    bahaha, great breakdown girls
    yes, the kiss/no kiss is of international importance i think
    so
    where is OBAMA <——-loved that bit…sooo funny

    what to say?
    nothing, just a kiss/no kiss 🙂
    and
    awesome film
    awesome director/actors
    and a very handsome Jacob J.

    as for Rob
    LOVEEEEEEEE :-),

    me

  9. shinegirl says:

    I think he just wants to stop being so rediculous about it. He is ready to let the world know, but Prudie McKeepItToMySelf still won’t budge. I don’t think he meant it for publicity, he just wanted to get it out there and say, “There, you got it, move along, nothing more to see here.” Playing coy and hiding keeps the paps coming.

    Don’t be so hard on him, Robsessedgirl :o(

    • robsfuturemate says:

      I agree with D2d, should have at least saved it for BD premiere. (or some other time, not his breakout movie. I know, he couldn’t hold back the love anymore)

  10. allryans says:

    Barely kissing his gf puts you off his movie? Damn, gina. This is why we can’t have nice things.

  11. robsfuturemate says:

    It’s amazing to me how the pics look like they kissed and everyone is all smiles/giggles. The video not so much.
    (I’m done with this. Summit is probably dancing in the streets that we are still talking about it)

  12. Michelle says:

    I so was happy to see pics (I mean get over it and just be yourselves already…), then I watched the video and got all irritated by the Stew. Come on girl! I get you’re awkward. I get you’re “private” or whatev…but…

    DO NOT EVER diss the man like that! Poor baby just wanted a lil lip lovin’ for heavens sakes! She turns her head so quick…man…

    Poor Rob. He just looks so sweet and she has to be so weird in public. I hope she makes up for it in private.

    You know, on the bearskin rug.

    Magicness.

    • Ms. J says:

      I know, right? In the pics Kstew looks totally smitten – which I loved.
      Then I watched the vid. WTF girl?? One of the hottest men on the planet wants a quick peck cuz he is riding the high of his movie premiere & you just shut him down like that – FOR SHAME.

      If you don’t wanna be the recipient of said kiss, I am sure there are plenty of girls out there who do. Namely myself – line forms to MY rear.

      Fear not Rob, I will bring the magicness when the Stew fails you.

      Waiting by the dumpster.

    • pukesten says:

      ive just watched the video, in your defence rob it did look fairly spontaneous and spur of the moment on your part. i never thought it could be possible for me to like that girl less but she has out done herself with that move, i felt sorry for him
      ok i need to stop over analysing a video about 2 people i dont know nor will never meet and posting rambling commnets that noone will ever read cos this letter went up 2 days ago

  13. JenJadeEyes says:

    I’m on the other side of the fence on this one.

    Rob, honey, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I just don’t think she’s that into you. It seems you’re really into her – going on vacations with her, inviting her as your date to a fairly big-deal movie premiere – and it seems like you’re doing your best to follow her restrictions – no direct eye, body or lip contact anywhere anyone else can see or photograph.

    But c’mon now – you just got through with a MAJOR movie for you – you’re holding your own (I’m assuming, here, as I live in fly-over country and the movie hasn’t been released here yet) with two Oscar winners, it’s the world premiere, you’ve just finished with all the brouhaha something like that entails, and you get into a car with your girl, and you wanna give her a little celebratory lip smack – I get it, and I totally think you are the in the right to think she should take the stick out of her a$$… um – loosen up on all the rules – for just one moment and give you the little peck you so richly deserve.

    Instead, what happened? I saw it in stills first and it looked like you got your liplock. Then I see the video, and as you bring your really pretty lips to hers, she notices and turns away quicker than… well, something really, really fast. (If I were going for the cheese here, I’d say faster than Edward playing baseball. But I’m a classy dame, so I won’t.)

    This, my dear Rob, makes me think that she just can’t possible be all that into you. Because if any man I were dating came after me for a celebratory peck on the lips, I know I’d give it to him. And if it were you, there might also be some groping involved – and you should just keep your attention on what you’re doing while my hands feel free to move about the cabin.

    With regards for you and regrets on what I’m guessing is your soon-to-be-ex relationship,

    JenJadeEyes

    • Rob's Bitch says:

      My take: he likes that about her – she’s a challenge. He has to WORK for her attention. Who else would do that??

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Oh, I can play hard to get Rob. Just try me.

        OK. I lie. Should he ever send me a cheese wheel and sex toy, Imma gone buzz him right on up to my office. Maybe I’ll make him wait at reception for like 15 seconds just to show him who is boss.

  14. purplescool says:

    Maybe we’ll get lucky and Osama will be so shocked by the photos that he’ll tweet about it and we could FINALLY track his a$$ down to the cave he’s hiding out in and have something real to focus on.

  15. roslynselene says:

    I have an ahole so that means I have an opinion!:)

    Their love may be real (EH?! How dare I question the epicness of their love?!) but that whole thing looked so lame. You mean to tell me that after TWO years of hiding their love, Rob decides to come out on WFE premiere night? Really? Okay. I don’t care. But what did bug me was the reactions (and I’m not talking about the fandom). The “news” shows were like “Here’s Rob and Reese and Christoph at the Water For Elephants premiere last night yada yada yada…But forget about that. Edward and Bella were caught kissing!!!” (I’m not kidding E! News said that) See? THAT’S the type of fuckery I was hoping Rob would avoid. So all I could do is SMDH. But now if they’re open about it, I hope they don’t sit there looking stupid when they are asked about each other. Please, no one’s playing games. We’re not in jr high (well most of your fans are, but I digress). I’m not amused anymore, it’s tiresome. Give it a rest already. I know you don’t wanna cheapen your relationship but you’re making your relationship (whatever it is) look ridiculous. Rob, just sit there, look pretty and bring the funnies. That’s all I’m asking. Like JUGGLING APPLES! That was awesome. 🙂

    • niahid says:

      “I’m not amused anymore, it’s tiresome.”
      Ditto. then i’m thinking I’m too old for this stuff, I have to give up and move on. It’s been nice lurking here and chatting with y’all nice optimistic fanatic ladies ( Melronin, RG 86, Roslynselene )
      And the awesome UC & Moon, it’s been lovely experience, I’ve learned so much from your blog.
      Best of luck for you all.

      • roslynselene says:

        No, don’t leave! I promise we only talk about WTFucksten on special occasions. Sometimes it gets hard to be a Rob fan when all this crap if flying around but have you seen this? http://strictlyrobpattinson.com/video-robert-pattinson-attempts-to-juggle-did-reese-and-christoph-do-better/ See? It’s alllll better now. 🙂

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          You post the best of the best Rob clips, RS. And damn it, even if I could stay angry at Rob, I’d still see the movie for Christoph – he’s awesome.

      • pukesten says:

        aw niahid i know how you feel, it’s like when you know a realtionship has run it’s course and you feel sad and disappointed cos it had been so good for so long but don’t stop coming on ltr. to be honest i think it’s been a while since i came on here to ogle rob like i did in the gold old days circa late 09 early 10 but i still like to read the letters and read the comments and the LTR girls are great craic (irish for fun not coke!) althought robsten has fucked with a lot of peoples robsessions ( see what i did there?) i don’t think we should let go of lrt just yet!!

  16. niahid says:

    Dear Rob,
    FUCK YOU/ FORGET YOU by CEELO GREEN is my theme song right now.

  17. operarose says:

    With lunatic Twi-stalkers running around with cheese wheels and sex toys, no wonder they have to fall in love and/or stick together as FWB at least… who else can they trust?!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I know. The cheese wheel fan makes the Ayn Rand books + recipe cards fan look tame.

    • roslynselene says:

      Oh mah gawd, I read that crazy fan story. O.o I’m scurrrred. Hold me, guys! That’s some really effed up shit right there. Poor dudes. I can’t even imagine wtf Rob gets. Anyone wanna bet if he’s received the sparkle vibrating peen yet? Someone should send it to him on his bday if he doesn’t have 20+ of them already. Oh and send him a note that says “Best when frozen. Enjoy!”

  18. Tiffany says:

    it seems as though this was planned like they both were like “okay the movies are done lets make this official and give the people what they want” well I guess not all people since Im sure NONSTEN peeps are still trying to figure out a way to over analyze the “conspiracy”
    I think they are like two sweet hobos who found love while gathered around a trash can fire. he shared part of the ham sandwich he got from the mission down the street and they fell in love. Im happy for them. makes my cold cold heart go pitter patter…

  19. Blackgirl Twihard says:

    Nice breakdown ladies as always! First, WFE (insert appropriate hype for movie here) Second, I’m sorry I guess I am a robsten, I guess. But something is not right with this. Who puts their hands in their hair to cover a kiss from the side. I’m so confused. This pap stage was sooo a Summit move and I’m starting to think either 1) there is no robsten and they really have other love interests and are just getting paid more for the speculation or 2) number one is true, but in actuality they really ARE creeping and neither Summit or their love interests know -Jessica Voice: “I don’t know …it’s just weird or something.” #nomorekoolaidforme. Oh yeah, WFE – (insert appropriate hype for movie here)

    • roslynselene says:

      I “believed” but like you said, something doesn’t look right. PR reeks like a motherfucker, doesn’t it?

      • Blackgirl Twihard says:

        Exactly, roslynselene!!! It was like it was supposed to be a subtle “move” but looked too reminiscent of the wrist holding debacle circa Eclipse filming in Vancouver…
        PS Oh Whatever @ the virtual thugging /thumbs down …LOL!

  20. yertlesmom says:

    Thank You UC and Moon! I haven’t laughed so hard at a LTT/LTR is ages–BRAVO! Slow clap!!! You guys are truly amazing! THANK You!
    And I can’t wait until Friday to see this movie!!!!!!!!

  21. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Loving the idea of a Robsten card. Only there definitely needs to be two versions – one for the Sympathy section, one for the Congratulations. And maybe one for the National Holiday section, because if I get a paid day off work every time they almost sort of kiss (his hot red lips protrude while she turns her head), I’m totally down with Robsten Day.

    But if there has to be just one Robsten card, what would it look like?

    Cover: Congratulations and Sorry! But At Least You Get a Day Off! To Celebrate or Drown in Sorrow!

    Picture of a two almost-touching hearts with an evil looking Cupid (who looks much like TomStu) throwing a grenade at it.

    Inside: Emotions are what make us human. Or at least Robsessed. Hugs.

    Back: Redeem this card at your local bar for one free glass of champagne (or a beer to cry into, your choice).

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      p.s. I’m thinking this should be a musical card. I’m open to suggestions. So far I’ve only been able to come up with Jessie’s Girl, with slightly altered lyrics.

      I’ll play along with this charade
      That doesn’t seem to be a reason to change
      You know I feel so dirty when they start acting cute
      I wanna tell him that I love him but the point is probably moot
      ‘Cause he’s watching her with those eyes
      And she’s lovin’ him with that awkward pose, I just know it
      And he’s holding her in his arms late, late at night

      You know that I wish that I was Rob P’s girl.

  22. roslynselene says:

    For all you guys being all “Awww Robsten made me believe in eternal love and Santa Clause again”, this video http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1GCWMI/www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/otters-hold-hands-p1.php will probably make you believe in flying bears with the body of a horse and the tail of a crocodile. Robsten ain’t got shit on otters holding hands. lmao

  23. Pattygirl says:

    if you are really rob fan , you only care about his happiness right. I said it before,I just want to see him happy and getting some love, but this girl doesn’t seem to be in sync with Rob. Rob is gentle, kind, spontaneous person and the media perception on her is a bit negative , that she never smile and always seems bitter in public.

    Rob, you are a beautiful human being ,you deserve a beautiful life ! Can’t wait for WFE!

  24. Denise says:

    Rob honey I think/know shes into you I remember those Montreal kissing pics and a few personal ones she was all over so enjoy YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

    I will continue to support your professional one single, together dosen’t matter to me just keep making me laugh.

    GOD BLESS

  25. Denise says:

    Rob honey I think/know shes into you I remember those Montreal kissing pics and a few personal ones she was all over you so enjoy YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

    I will continue to support your professional one single, together dosen’t matter to me just keep making me laugh.

    GOD BLESS

  26. Robsessedgirl says:

    prsteners don’t really belong at LTR. I am js. your ever expanding hatred for us normal people can be employed other places, like twitter. or maybe not at all, since it’s a waste of your time.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Don’t worry girl! This is what happens every time R*sten is mentioned!! It will all be back to Normal soon!

  27. southernbelle says:

    Endless LOVE
    my love, there’s only you in my life
    the only thing that’s right..

    (can u imagine Rob singing that bwahah, epic cheesiness!)

    my 1st love,you’re every breath that I take, every step I make

    And I, I want to share all my Hotpockets with you, and my Heineken too….

    Sorry I can’t help myself!

    • roslynselene says:

      Keep the hotpockets in your pocket! They’re sicknast. >:P

      Rob should do karaoke and sing the cheesiest sappiest songs ever. Starting with Wind Beneath My Wings and Everything I Do (I Do It For You). You know what, just throw in all the 80’s ballads and I’m pretty sure we’ll choke on all that cheese.

      • southernbelle says:

        “When you love someone, you’d do anything… you’d do all the crazy things that you can’t explain.”

        –yeah like I said, give up your hotpockets and Heineken. Or try to kiss a girl in front of paps, sadly though she pulls away.

        *bringing out the Magic Mike now*

      • southernbelle says:

        How about “Tonight I dedicate my love for you?” Is that even the title? Sorry I can’t remember!

        I should be making dinner and not hanging around here looking at pics of Rob kissing someone! Ughh LOL

    • Michelle says:

      Oh man, but if Rob sang it it’d be like…

      mmmmEndlessssslloorrvveeemylaahhvveeeeee theresonhlyuuuuuinnnnmaaahhhliiiiiffeeeeeeee thheeehhh oonnnllaaaayyythaaaannthaassssriiiiiiiiii

      Mumble on, sexy beast…mumble on…

      • southernbelle says:

        That’s right, he mumbles, I can barely understand what he was saying. I had to look up the lyrics to “Never Think.” All I understood was “never think, home.”

  28. Janetrigs says:

    I just wanted to tell you all, that I found out that Ron (or Rob, how ever you know him) is straight up REAL. I know, I am shocked too. But I saw it, with my own eyes.

    Also, I love Salaciousness

  29. maggie says:

    Dear Rob:

    I guess what pisses me off about this crap is that, in my little fantasyland, you are the Perfect Man: hot, sexy, funny, witty, etc, etc. and “open and honest”. Then this shizz hits the fan and it’s like “you are – you aren’t”, “I am – I’m not”. I never get it. I used to say I would only believe what came out of your mouth, but I’m not sure what comes out of your mouth anymore. Don’t get me wrong – I am fully aware that you don’t have to tell your fans anything about your private life, but I never see any reason for this weird “game” that goes on and on.

    Oh well. Times like these, I get really mad at you, but then something like this comes out:

    http://strictlyrobpattinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/pattinsonlife-wfe-231.jpg

    and I’m yours forever. Robfantasylandia lives on!!

    Really and truly though, I just hope you’re happy.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Maggie – Can’t get that link to work. But I’m guessing he looks fantastic (well, duh).

      • maggie says:

        Nat: Try this. You may have seen it. It’s from WFE and I think it just came out a day or two ago.

        http://www.bellasdiary.com/wp-content/uploads/Robert_Pattinson_Water_For_Elephants_1.png

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          He’s looking forlorn. If you look closely at his mouth (like, real close…put your face to the screen, but only after you shut your office door), you can clearly tell he’s wording “Maggie…soon”.

          • maggie says:

            NAT! YOU’RE SO RIGHT! I heard it. It was a faint, forlorn whisper, but he’s coming for me! Finally!!! I’m here, Rob! I’m here! I’m just waiting in my little office, licking my computer screen. (eew!)

            I know what you mean about that picture. It’s like a drug. You can’t get off it no matter how hard you try.

            Pathetic people are definitely pathetic. You heard it first here at LTR – the site for all things deep and philosophical.

            Signed, a pathetic person. Who is pathetic.

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            LOL. We should sign a pathetic pledge of allegiance. I pledge allegiance to the pathetic flag, of the United States of LTR, one Rob under me (or on top), with fantasy and hotness for all.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Nevermind, it was my lame work computer/network issues. Just accessed from my BB. Ughghghghghhg that flash of chest. The eyes.

        I know I can count on LTR people to keep me addicted to the drug that is Rob. Just put a photo like that under my nose and I’m back to where I started.

  30. lea says:

    Pathetic people are pathetic.

    You know your life is all kind of pathetic when you’re buthurt by the fact that your imaginary lovers is fucking someone who aint you.

    • maggie says:

      What a lovely comment…..

    • robjunkie says:

      Wow lea, you are blowing my mind girl. Who would’ve thought that pathetic people are in fact pathetic. I mean, that just seems like such a long shot. You are so insightful.

    • roslynselene says:

      That is sad although I hardly think anyone here is gonna commit suicide over this. But (generally speaking) you know your life is TRULY pathetic when you photoshop two people who may or may not be fucking. Now THAT’S sad. 🙁

    • robjunkie says:

      And you are so right lea, I am a pathetic person who is pathetic, cause I am so hurt by this. I am a hurt person who is hurt. Man, you’ve really set me straight on this. I will take comfort in the musical stylings of Celine Dion My heart will go oon aaand ooooon…

    • southernbelle says:

      Well excuse me. You said lovers. I only want Rob, so yeah that is not plural.

      The fact of the matter is I don’t really care as to who Rob dates but you know what? I ain’t lying. It still pricks my heart a little to see them together. I don’t know why, human nature, hormones, etc. Call me crazy…call me pathetic I guess. Alright. I guess I can be a little pathetic, anything for Rob.

  31. robjunkie says:

    Just the other day I was lying on my bearskin rug in front of a roaring log fire, musing about Robsten. As you do. I was thinking that I really want to believe in the magicness. When I heard about the pics and the video, I was so effing stoked. I was ready to unleash the mother of all Awwww’s. Imagine my utter disappointment when all I got was awkward fumbling on the backseat of a car. I want to see the magicness, dammit! Preferably set to the soundtrack of a Lionel Ritchie song And I’m truuleeeee, truly in love with you girl…

  32. roslynselene says:

    Anyone else watching Ellen? He’s so funny.

  33. Sakes says:

    Don’t understand all the comments about rob’s lack of good judgement. this kiss happened after the premier, by a back exit so i dont think he did it to get attention, else he would have just kissed her on the damn premier carpet. The man was happy, he kissed his girl, she reacted like a little 8 yr old school girl, that was all. why is everyone attacking him for that. I for1 was really all butterflies and sparkly stuff when i saw this, – no im not a robsten- but i love rob and he looks so happy an excited in that vid it makes me happy. *hugs self, smiles*

  34. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    Wow. I can’t believe how many people over-analyze this shizzz. Why should Rob have to live his “real” life planning every little thing he does…such as kiss his girl because he’s totally excited and happy? Does he really need to wait 6 months before he can kiss her in public? Geez. He’s a real person with a real life.
    Oh, and one more thing, why do people blame Summit for EVERYTHING? Why must there be this big conspiracy theory? Come on, people!
    Honestly, I have no idea how much say so the company has in their “real” lives; however, Rob and Kristen didn’t have to sign anything if they didn’t want to do so. They may not have known how big this would get, but I seriously doubt Summit did either. Do you think they had this big contract made up in the beginning stating “in case this whole Twilight thing gets to be huge-assed, you need to sign here entitiling us to make every decision regarding your personal life from here on out,”? Hmmm…yeah, I don’t think so.
    Lastly, if we are truly Rob’s fans shouldn’t we support him in anything that makes him happy? Sure, we all WANT him for ourself, buuuttt, that’s not gonna happen. Ya know, I say if he’s happy with Kristen, that’s awesome. He deserves love just like anyone of us does. I’m happy to let the man live his life in whatever way he wants to live it… that’s how I’m gonna live mine. Love You Rob!!! Keep on keeping on!!!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Why do people blame Summit for EVERYTHING?
      -cause it’s fun!

      And yes, Rob does have to plan out his every move in life. He’s said so himself. Those moves are patented, baby!

      • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

        I’m just saying the man is entitled to a life of his own. He doesn’t owe us explanations for every move he makes. For him, it’s “damned if I do, damned if I don’t”. And, the comments saying he should have “planned” better for his coming out of Kristen’s closet… well, my goodness, I guess someone made an error when they penciled that into his personal life agenda calender. “Out relationship with Kristen by kissing her in a car” was somehow penciled into the “June 2011 @ 11:13 @ WFE premier” slot instead of the “November 2011 @ 11:13 @ BD premeier” slot. Oops!!! Oh, nevermind! I know! There was never an “error”!!! Summit did it!!! Those sneaky bastards.

  35. krazykidd says:

    Personally I STILL don’t give a fuckittyfuck…these people STILL don’t pay my bills and I’m over it already. UC and Moonie though…FUNNY A$$ post #FLOVE! Love you girls like always and forever!
    P.S.
    This is Hollywood peeps…even if they are together they’ll be broken up by the end of BD…js LOL…sorry if I crushed robstener hearts…and on another note caring whether they bump uglies or not is definite creepytimes…just wanted to throw that out there LOL 😉

    • Alex says:

      You obviously give “a fuckittyfuck…” otherwise you would have commented like that.

      DEAR UC and MOON,

      Here is your answer to your question. Some peeps were clearly hurt. LOL

      Peeps only have two choices: either you accept it and move on focusing on Robs career or dont give fuck at all.

  36. Alex says:

    Its sad to see that peeps didnt have time to catch up with WFE PROMOTIONS for last few weeks but they clearly did have time to talk about the “less important near kiss’

    Dear US and Moon,

    You all are right. This is not the time to focus on Robsten. This is WFE time.

    Arent we doing the same thing like those socalled shippers doing. Taking about Robsten instead of WFE?

    Thumb me down now.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Hey Alex – We HAVE been talking about WFE for at least the past month or two. And even before then. Just a few days ago, it was “what is your favorite WFE clip” and ok, ok, discussion got off Rob and went to clown fear for a bit, but seriously. I think all of us here have been talking about WFE promos and clips and posting photos and videos like crazy. Honestly, without seeing the movie, I am not sure I have much more to say (though have not seen the Kimmel clip yet). I don’t think anyone here is has gone mental, we are just chatting about this and that. Per usual. Just one big weird happy circus. Per usual.

  37. Amanda says:

    I hope some of you are joking. You sound like scorned ex-girlfriends of someone who doesn’t even know you exist. Good riddance, he doesn’t need your approval. It’s not as if this is old news. If you follow Rob at all you know he spends a lot of time with Kristen. So what? And if you really need the PR theory to be ok with Rob, then Rob needs better fans. Shippers are embarrassing but Jeez, the nonstens out done them with their conspiracy theories and announcements of leaving the fandom. Grow up! Hopefully he’ll get mature fans after WFE, who either respect his judgement or don’t give a f**** who he’s seeing. Goodbye wayward fans.

    • roslynselene says:

      Hmmm, I wonder where he’ll get those…
      I mean, we are as normal as fans get. I’m just glad I haven’t sent him nipple clamps and cheese wheels…yet. 😉

    • southernbelle says:

      Of course we’re joking, don’t you get the sarcasm here? Geez lighten up, smoke some pot or something. *shakes head*

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Lol. Just reread some of the postings today and feel like I should hit the bong. Sadly, no bong. But took some sips out of hub’s martini and am feeling the magic. Of vodka.

  38. Alex says:

    As we all agree….

    NObody commited suicide
    BIGs did fly

    Bla bla bla

    SO WHY Botther? Why it was such a disappointment?

    Why do you think that it killed all the enthusiasm for WFE?

    Just Why?

    Whats the meaning of this letter?

    BTW: I still love you guys. Lets keeping supprting our boy

  39. mania says:

    Omg you people. Do you actually believe that a multibillion dollar franchise COMPLETLEY dependent on their leading stars could force them to do ANYTHING they didn´t want?? They let them do anything! And do you actually believe that R&K are the kind of people that you could force to act like they are a couple if they were not? They are not some desperate fameseeking realityshowstars trying to hang on to the spotlight!
    Maybe they are also so hard on not talking about their relationship is because of saftey reasons? There are probably piles of threats from crazy robsessors and krisbians.

    But imagine for a second that the world worked like you think – do you think they by contract would be allowed to promote the Twilight franchise on a Fox premiere? IF they would try to sneaky promote wouldn´t K at least walk the red carpet, or pose for a few pic with R?

    R&K have been the in the centre of one of the biggest popcultural phenomenon in modern time – of course they turn to each other, who else could understand their life and feelings? I think it´s great they seem to have found love and friendship through it all, instead of turning to drugs, crazy partying and lines of famewhoring boy- and girlfriends that could sell them out the the rags.

    End note: it is also a bit weird you seem disappointed that R act giggly and kissy with K – haven´t you seen hundreds of interviews of him? has he ever acted like a douchebaggy alphamale bro-dude who would lean back in the cab and make the ladiez work for him? Not really, haha.

    Ok rant over – let´s talk the Jimmy Kimmel interview instead. Loved Rob in it!

    • roslynselene says:

      Oh no. It’s too early for Robsten theories and debates. Please let’s not discuss this cause people could go ALL day going in circles and still get absolutely nowhere (I don’t know, you don’t know and we’re all back to square one: No one knows.) Sorry, I only read the beginning and end of your comment. Let’s talk about Kimmel.

      I stayed up (I regret it now, I’m still sleepy) but he was hilarious! It was so nice of Jimmy to give him the MC Hammer picture. And I wonder if the previous owner was forced to give it up because his Robsessed wife made him. Lol And Rob is a demented antelope. Srsly, this guy makes the funniest facial expressions. Someone should make a gif. He’s also hoarding hobo. And I’m sure there was other stuff, I just can’t remember right now.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Oh man, sound on my work PC is not working again (they give non-attorneys the attorney hand-me-down computers, i.e. the pieces of crap computers, and yes, I’m whining about it). So I’ll have to wait until I get home to watch.

        But I heard about MC Hammer and zebras and slutty elephants. Rob really needs to get into comedy. He’s every talk show host’s dream because he always comes off as hilarious, engaging, and interesting.

        Also, just saw the Rob eating corn-nuts or whatever they were backstage at the Ellen show. It’s certainly odd, but I sort of like it. Shows he’s human (versus a demi-god…).

      • drsaka says:

        Both the Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel interviews (+the Ellen backstage closeup of Rob drinking, slurping really, and eating ice?) were pure gold for us. So funny.

        • roslynselene says:

          @Nat- That vid was uncomfortable (I can’t stand to hear people eating) but the grunting in the end made me LOL. Who grunts while eating? Bhahaha! It reminded me of a bear. Too funny.

          @Drsaka It was! I like his wordvomit lately. He’s letting go and telling us crazy stories again. There were stories w/ Ellen I had never heard before. 🙂

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Just saw Kimmel. Hey RobsessedGirl & Pukesten. Watch. Watch the Ellen clip too. Your Rob groove will come back. Have spare panties close by, you’ll need them.

        Highlights:
        -“They (the audience) are screaming because they want you to come live with them”
        -“I’m keeping the MC Hammer picture in my sink”
        – The “Water for Cougars” signs in the audience (LOVE THAT)
        -Rob says “hobo” and some of the audience giggles. Our people.
        – Rob does the antelope impersonation and some MAN audibly laughs very loud.

    • southernbelle says:

      Mania – your screen name says it all. Enough said.

  40. maggie says:

    Is everybody getting the reviews that are coming out today for WFE? They are glowing and lots of good stuff is being written about Rob’s performance. Yeay! I’ve been waiting for this to happen for what seems like forever. Way to go Rob! I’m so, so happy for you!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I’ve only seen the Ebert review. I’m getting the sense that the set/costumes are both amazing. And Christoph, from what I’ve heard, delivers. Sounds like Rob and Reese have done well too.

      I think some people here are going to the LivingSocial thing? Envious. I came home and turned on DirecTV and there was an promo ad for Remember Me…..totally weird. Maybe they are re-releasing it to DTV just for the Rob groupies.

    • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

      I can’t wait to see this movie! The book was really good and with Rob playing Jacob? Just sigh…

  41. roslynselene says:

    Whoa! We could write a whole series longer than Twishite with these comments ALONE!

  42. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    You totally missed the point, so you presumed wrong. I know Rob’s human and I know he can do wrong. I’ just saying it’s hard for me to understand how you can be done with him just for kissing his girlfriend. I see all these comments saying he chose to kiss her at the wrong time. To me, the wrong time would be somewhere like church or a funeral or a ceremony or something. Even then, a small peck of affection is fine to me. I really don’t think that kiss was some big elaborate scheme on his part. Also, I’m not a “shipper”. I wish he was mine, but I’m not delusional -I know that will never happen. So, I’m just glad he’s happy and if KS is the one who makes him that way, then I’m glad he’s got her. That’s just another thing that makes him special -the fact that he’s able to be with so many women and he remains faithful to the one he loves.Lastly, I don’t separate “the pretty” from his actions because I don’t adore him merely for his looks. Yes, he’s beautiful, but what really drew me in is his beautiful soul.

  43. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    And, yes, I do like to write. Always have. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want.

    • pukesten says:

      seriously dude it’s not like ive sent the two of them death threats, iv’e just rolled my eyes at them on an internet site. and to be honest i prob only can say that i only admire rob for his looks cos i don’t actually know the first thing about him, if wasnt’ that pretty (youtube interview videos and good acting help and of course his music) i doubt i’d be spending time on a website reading and typing about him cos as far as i’m concerned he’s like santa or the easter bunny, he doesn’t exist in real life and i’m sure he’l loosing sleep right now cos some 20 something yr old girl from ireland who he’ll never met said something critical about him kissing his GF on an internet site he will never see (moon UC you know he’s reading this everday)
      seriously unless your his mom you dont’ have to love who he loves just cos it makes him happy we’re not in a disney film.

  44. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    Again, I don’t care who he loves. I’m just glad he has love. I don’t watch KS videos. I don’t think of her as a real life Bella. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s her or some other lucky girl. But, I’m not gonna wish he didn’t have anyone just because it can’t be me, ya know? BTW, I know you didn’t say anything drastic or even hateful. I guess I just don’t get how people decide he’s some conniving attention-seeker for sneaking a kiss to his girl. Anyway, I’m not a spiteful person. I just had an opinion and decided to voice it just like you did. I’m good with agreeing to disagree. I hardly ever post anyway. I’m mostly just a dedicated lurker. Moon and UC are hilarious. I love their witty banter;)

  45. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    Oh, one other thing. You know how your posting alias is pukesten? Well, on one of the rare occasion that i did post, I did so under Roblicia in an attempt to sarcastically point out the rediculousness of combining names. Obviously, Roblicia is a combination of mine and Rob’s names. It sounds retarded. It probably wasn’t even that funny, but it made me laugh. So, you see, we actually agree on the stupid name-combo crap.

  46. lola says:

    lol, this thread is hilarious. I could give two shits if Rob used “robsten” for promo regardless of the true nature of “Robsten.” It’s about time they both stop acting whiney looking in pictures. I”m all for famewhore robsten-it’s much more pleasing to look at then hobo angst.

    The reality though is we as his fans are too close to the subject at this point. To be honest, no one really cares about robsten-that’s so 2009. It was really cute playing the “are they?’ game during New MOon, even nontwihards were charmed. But no one cares now. the only reason the not-really-kiss got any publicity was cause the media knows twihards live and die by who’s riding the Rob carousel.

    So, realistically speaking, thinking this is some huge pr stunt seems to be more a commentary on the fact we have our heads up rob’s ass way too far to realize no one else cares.

  47. LadyN says:

    I GO TO EUROPE FOR TWO WEEKS AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS?!?

    sigh

    Omg I totes said awwww and melted. It’s just too fucking cute. The way he kisses her!!!!! Gah!! I cannot be mad but just get all squishy inside. He looks like an amazing romantic loyal lover. And you’re right, makes me want to go out and find one to get a kiss that looks like he’s just completely and undeniable charmed.

    Sighhhhhh. You go rob. Kiss your girl and show it to the world. 🙂

    I’ll just sit here in Paris with my Agrum Schwepps soda and cry in my hotel room alone in the city of romance.

    Really, I’ll be ok.

  48. cat says:

    It could have been so nice and sweet. I want him to have sex, be satisfied and happy.
    but the cold hearted kristen stewart turned her face away and openen her eyes wide like she was in shock that he had the idea to do that.
    how pathetic is that.
    maybe he is a masochist and wants to be treated like that. but it is so annoying.
    and seeing her do that is so frustrating, after another day of me fighting with fanboys that the movie will be great and rob deserves a chance…
    right now, I’m not ok. but that’s her fault. effin games.

  49. robsten4life says:

    yeah so I’m reading this about three weeks later (because real life happens) and I gotta say, Moon you were quite prolific in this post:

    “Moon: I like that your mind goes immediately to a Robsten sex tape and not like we found Osama Bin Laden or maybe I have a boyfriend or something of actual consequence!”

    I’m sure you never imagined that a few weeks later and you would actually be saying “we found Osama”

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