Rob Pattinson: Kiss & Tell
Dear Rob,
I know it’s been over a week: we went on a spring break, Moon had a birthday (go to LTT!) and we got Bin Laden, but I still can’t stop thinking about the Royal Wedding. And, of course, when I think about the Royal Wedding my mind goes something like this:
Kate Middleton’s Dress —> Prince William —-> Balding British Guy —> Non balding British guy —> Robert Pattinson
Easy to do, you see. So while I’ve been reminiscing about the wedding, you’ve been on my mind. And my thoughts have been mostly about sex, and more specifically, sex with the rich & famous.
I got to thinking about Prince William & how he met Kate when they were both 19. And it seems like the story goes that they were friends first. So it’s safe to assume they didn’t hook up for a year or two… And I’m going to say that Prince William, despite his thinning hair, still a pretty cute, attractive, in-shape, not to mention rich & powerful soon-to-be-king, got some prior to his 20th birthday and relationship with his now wife. And maybe that was big news in Britain…. but we’re pretty obsessed with the Royals over here, and I don’t remember hearing about it. I don’t remember seeing a headline “FUTURE KING OF ENGLAND LOSES VIRGINITY.” I don’t recall an interview the lucky gal who took his virginity gave to the British version of 60 minutes where she talks about how he lasted a “whole 25 seconds.” And I’ve been wondering why? Is it just a known fact in Britain that if you bang a royal you aren’t allowed to kiss & tell? Does the Queen’s handmaid (she has one of those, right?) show up bedside the next morning with an affidavit you have to sign swearing you won’t say a word? It is just understood that if you’re lucky enough to get in a Prince’s pants (or he in yours) you’ll be respectful and not tell anyone?
I’m not asking you for a copy of the handbook on “Manners for when you bed a Prince” that your sisters probably have stashed in their childhood closets, I’m actually thinking about this in regards to YOU. Why hasn’t anyone kissed & told? Sure you’ve been in a relationship for what seems like a lifetime, but what about before? You were young, hot, rich & up & coming. I know there has to be at least one chick you hooked up with on a whim who excitedly told her friend who told her cousin who told her aunt who told her friend who told her brother who has a contact at a rag mag. How did that news not slip out to anyone?
(Look Closely)
In fact, besides the high-profile skanks looking to make a quick buck (ala Tiger Woods & Charlie Sheen mistresses) why DON”T we hear about more average, every-day hot girls hooking up with celebrities? I KNOW Justin Timberlake has made some former N’Sync fangirl’s dream come true by letting her go down on him in a high-class LA restaurant (Poor Moon! That’d be the best birthday present). And Ryan Gosling seems like just the guy who would hook up with a nice, average girl he sees at his favorite Silver Lake bar on regular occasions. Why don’t we hear more?
If I were lucky enough to have a one-night stand with the likes of YOU, I would NOT keep that to myself. I’m not saying I’d call my contacts at Lifestyle Mag (ps: I don’t have any), I’m just saying…. My friends would know. Hell, my HUSBAND would know (You are on “The List.” That LIST exists for a reason- I’m allowed to do whoever I put on it, if I have the chance!) And friends, excited that a girl they know saw THE Edward Cullen’s nether-regions, would tell other friends or a co-worker who would tell a family member and on and on and on, and eventually.. someone who writes those rumors in a magazine would publish it. SO why doesn’t it happen more?
Why don’t we know about any other girls other than your girlfriend, ex girlfriend Nina (<— read that) and rumored hook-up with Nikki Reed. Is it possible that that is all you’ve had?
No….. right??
Inquisitive minds want to know,
UnintendedChoice
What do you think? Do you ever heard rumors about every-day girls you KNOW celebs are hooking up with? Did I miss any other lucky girls who had Rob rumors circling around them? Would YOU Kiss & Tell?
Don’t miss Moon’s Birthday Party over on LTT!!!
Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
Tags: , Jumping Rob, Kiss and Tell, LTR, Rob Pattinson, robert pattinson, Royal Wedding
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He’s adorkable. I think he’s been a late bloomer. And he would jump away from Beatrice!
Happy birthday Moon.
Is everybody as exhausted from keeping up with Water for Elephants coverage as I am? How must Rob, Reese and team feel? Great job!
Beatrice is scary……..
I know! I only live 50 miles away from that hat.
all i can say is lock your doors. but i think somehow that probably won’t work. hats like that are demonic. one day, a day just like any other, you’ll be humming along and will open your closet door and reach for your favorite shirt (i.e. the shirt rob would probably like the most). and then THE HAT will be there. it will be laughing. mostly below audible range, but you’ll hear it. make no mistake, it was the hat cackling. and then you’ll have to move, leave all your belongings behind and just move. i’m glad i’m on another continent, far away from that hat.
Haha what about the blue vagina hat? Who was wearing that one?
Tara palmer Tompkinson she got confused and thought she was going to a fancy dress party as lady gaga
Yeah, how come the Spanish girl he talks about so often…..the one where he takes her to her parents restaurant after she has stalked him for weeks ouside his apartment………where is she? does she even exsist? or is she just a fragment of his imagination? there’s gotta be someone who’s willing to spill the beans…….come on now….anyone?????
good question and am starting to think that this girl is just a spanish Rob-mythos 🙂
I think he prob made her up!!
Happy Birthday Moon, wish you all the best and fun in the world.. <3
Why does nobody talk?
Kneel, open your mouth, pray and SMILE
(obviously they are still SMILING)
🙂
hahaaa…THAT was a great one!
I think after “Kneel, open your mouth, pray…” there follows no smile…nope…either those girls ended up in a Robcoma or they are still kneeling…praying and waiting with an open mouth!!!
😀
“I’m playing yourrrrrrrrr loverrrrrrr now”
oh Rob:-)
He is such a goof when he says it.
http://www.channel4.com/t4/film-tv/r-patz-and-reese-have-history
Lol I had never seen that one before. Thanks for posting. 🙂
i’m 100% with reese on the coaster issue. rob looks great in that sweater. and i want to hate on reese’s shoes but i sorta like them.
I am sitting in our living room with my laptop while dh is watching tv. I want to watch the video with sound; however, dh doesn’t care too much for my Rob love. I had to keep the sound muted. Alas, I have no idea what was said… but just wanted to say that Rob looks great, as usual, and I think the interview lady is going for an older Rihanna look.
KOKO:
Earphones, my dear. My DH thinks that I’ve developed an “abnormal” love for music. He watches TV while (he thinks) I’m listening to Beethoven symphonies all evening. Just be sure the laptop is situated so that he can’t see it!
Oh, he is just so adorable! I just love him so much!
Maggie, I went and grabbed the earbuds off my ipod and watched this invterview. So glad I did:)
I would totally tell you guys (RP is on my List, too. In fact, Mr. Slut has sort of taken it as read that we will have a meaningful, fulfilling Best Friends with Benefits relationship. It’s cool.) but I would swear you to non-ragmag secrecy first. I would get lawyers in on it and everything, like the Royal Family Sex Affidavit.
However! I will tell you that John Cusack asked a friend of mine out once AND SHE SAID NO, because she thought it was weird that he had his agent ask for him. Which, okay yes that is a bit junior high but SRSLY she could have banged Lloyd Dobler. I am still not over it.
Well, John may ask his agent to do his dirty work, but Lloyd would not. Lloyd would ask her out by aiming a boombox at her bedroom window.
Wondering what the creepy agent note looked like, though. “John like thinks you are totally cute. He’d be so mega embarassed if he knew I was writing to you, but I am so sick of him yapping on about it. If you feel the same way he does, please hop into his car when he pulls up alongside you as you walk down the street tomorrow. Don’t worry, he knows where/when you walk already, comes from months of stalking you. Wear your tennis shoes because he doesn’t like to stop the car…you will have to leap in. Also please bring a cheese wheel. Don’t ask, you’ll learn, it’s a celebrity thing. “
I know I’m behind the times here, but what is with the “cheese wheel” reference? I’ve seen it mentioned alot.
You’re not THAT behind the times. I think I missed that day too!
NAAAAAAT! *yells* Help some girls out with the cheese thing!
This should explain it.
http://letterstotwilight.com/2011/04/20/crazytimes-wednesdays/#more-11855
I advise you lock your doors.
WOW. I saw that post but must have got to busy with Rob to come back and read it. 😉 There are so many things going through my head right now but all I can say is: Thank God I’m NORMAL!!!!
Thanks Ros for clearing it up!
Dear God i am thinking any letter that starts out I’m not a psychopath could not be good. I laughed so loud that my family came in wanting me to share. When I explained that it had to do with nipple clamps a collar and cheese wheels they left the room. I fear they may be calling the home as we speak. LOL
Not really. They questioned nothing but the cheese wheels. Odd that was what bothered me the most. Thank you Roslynselene for sharing that. I feel like i have been enlightened. My daughter did ask what kind of cheese? Sorry………….
Wow. Just wow. Since this girl doesn’t have the sense to be embarrassed about this, I feel the need to be embarrassed for her. She and the gal that stars in her own fanfic along with Rob and her entire family and entourage of friends just make me feel all kinds of weird inside, lol. Geez… I do wonder if JCB and CB ate the cheese wheels, though.
That is what we call 2nd hand embarassment at it’s finest!
Lloyd Dobler!! Siiiigh. I would have said yes.
Ok, I guess I’m a little John Cusack ignorant, but in which movie did he play someone named Lloyd Dubler? Also, I’m glad your friend turned him down. He’d have to be Rob in order for me to say yes in that situation, lol.
Say Anything (1989). Lloyd Dobler was this impossibly romantic guy who courted semi-surly nerdgirl Diane Court.
http://i53.tinypic.com/fmkml3.jpg
And found this while image searching…WANT.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/58884085/lloyd-dobler-felt-finger-puppet
OMG I need that puppet. (did I just say that? weird.)
This was pre-Robsession, obvs, but…yeah. He gave her his heart and she gave him a pen. I am still a little not over it.
It’s OK to want the puppet. Not OK to walk around with it full time and believe it is actually communicating with you(like Mel Gibson in that Beaver movie, oy; or, as a more palatable example, Mary in Pecker…”full of grace”). Though that would be funny. If I was a cashier at Starbucks and your Dobbler puppet ordered a mocha, I’d give you two. To share. To celebrate friends with potential (you and the puppet, that is).
Ok, I feel stupid. I’ve certainly heard of that movie… just don’t think I’ve ever seen it. I know… it’s like a classic or something. *hangs head in shame*
It’s OK. I watched it around 10 times – I was working in a single screen movie theatre when it came out and my boss would let me watch it during the break between screenings. I pretty much had it memorized (see I was Normal, even before Normal became cool). Little Mermaid came out shortly after Say Anything and that movie was not as fun to watch multiple times. I still cannot get the Under the Sea song out of my head.
I think the Spanish girl is like the clown at his very first circus:made up! I can’t believe he told that morning show host that a clown car blew up at his first circus. The poor interviewer guy almost cried….and he believed Rob and Rob just kept going with the story, like it really happened. Of course that one went a little far, the story was too easy to check. He’ll never get caught fibbing on the Spanish girl-I can see girls in Spain all turn and look at each other, every time Rob tells the story. Ha! Rob has a wicked sense of humor. I love it. I seriously doubt there have been very many women in Rob’s bed, other than Nina and Kristen. He was 22 when he met Kristen and I think that was pretty much the end of other girls for him. He also claims he is not a man-whore, he’s got to get to know a person before bedding them. Think about it, he’s 24, how many people do you think he’s had time to get to know? Which I think is quite lovely.
in case your wondering why you got the thumbs down let me clear that up for u – ” He was 22 when he met Kristen and I think that was pretty much the end of other girls for him.”
you are welcome
And she forgot to use ‘SWSNBN’. It’s the golden rule ’round here.
Why for some reason did I feel better knowing this. For all the right reasons. It shows we care about Rob’s well being. “SWSNBN” as Valdemort killed the “Beautiful Boy” Cedric.
http://wallpaperson.net/_ph/27/238440270.jpg
Sorry I know it got sappy here.
http://youtu.be/4K2pJPhOzFs
Bhahaha! I think someone actually likened SWSNBN to Voldemort before.
That’s where the name comes from silly! Voldemort is He Who Shall Not Be Named. Then change that to a she…
Lmao I fail at Harry Pooter (never seen/read it). Well, Goblet of Fire is the only one I’ve watched and you know why I did.
Oops- I meant Potter not Pooter. Although it does sound funny.
Lol, I thought you put pooter on purpose. I’ve never seen them either. Not even The Goblet of Fire. They’ve just never appealed to me. Maybe I should watch them, though. Never thought vampire movies would be my thing, either. Although, I really don’t think it’s the actual vampire part that got me… just the guy playing the one
…
I just read the blog about his girlfriend and I’m a little worried. Is there someone seriously running around LTR crazed and imagining themselves as his ex?
She didn’t even answer the questions or provide proof. I guess to each his own.
I loved this post tho, and of course the picture.. I probably looked away and in that moment he jumped from behind the newly weds and into a crowd pleasing flip. Intense.
You know you’re Robsessed when you don’t fantasize in becoming a princess anymore but a Rob Whore/Sub/Hu-cow (snort)/$2.13 Slut.
I TOTES was looking for him in the crowd on TV even though i knew it was unlikely.
Those hats were….spectacular.
Not jealous, Katherine, not jealous anymore (Unless you were marrying Rob).
I’m so going to put my price at $.99. They don’t call me Dollar Store Robsessed for nothing!
DAMN! thats’ a bargin! I’ll have to rethink my prices… I mean he is rich now maybe he can afford 2 bucks?? *biting nails* A girl needs to eat, pay rent and wax, you know?
oh, you, you and your “living wage” union talk. i suppose you want benefits like sleepovers and breakfast dates for the $2 price, too. next you’ll want him to pay for his own toothbrush. 🙂
rob – for just $.99, i’m yours. for the evening, for the hour, for 3 minutes, whatever. you can “pay” me under the table, too. or on top.
oh you whore! 😉
Fine. I can play this game.
Rob, .50 cents PLUS a hotpocket.
I know. 🙂 *bows* thank you, thank you.
Really girls, I was gonna go for a two for one deal. Two nights for the price of one?
And I was gonna go for free…
Those hats. Zipped lips of any women who may have known Rob in the biblical sense. Prince Williams balding heads.
I blame Summit.
Typo!! Prince William’s balding HEAD.
Who knows? Maybe he’s balding on the other head too? LMAO
LOL it’s always Summit’s fault. Even global warming.
World hunger, the recession, crime, and the high price of gasoline. I blame scummit for all off it.
Happy Birthday Moon…wish you all the best!!!
Guess it’s absolutely normal that I watched the royal wedding and thought of Rob with me…same as I watched “Dear John” the other day and thought of Rob with me…oh…and I recently watched “Brothers” and again thought about Rob with me…dude…I even phantasize Rob being Aragorn lately…which is very very bad…I mean like very bad!!! I think am ready for the nuthouse after that or maybe a convent…of course there I will
Kneel, open my mouth…pray…and smile!!!
And suuuuuuuuure I would share with all of you if I ever had a onenightstand with Rob!!! What are sisters for???
Pffffffffff…absolutely
<3
oh melronin, how i’ve missed your hilarious posts here!
Awwwwwwww how sweet of you to say so honi!
<3
<3<3<3 Mel:)
s’agapo moro mu 🙂
eventhough Prince William looks good(forget about the hair..no..i can’t ..)and the royal wedding was the first wedding that i would luv to join as a bride 😀
cani take a chance with a common man(ok kinda world wide famous) other than a royal
happy birthday Moon!!!!!!!
and @mel luv u sis
LOVE YOU BACKKKKK tons 🙂
Ok, I might tell, but only to LTR people. There are so many CrazEEEE Rob fans out there. If they found out I had successfully seduced him, there would be blood. I’d have to contend with weirdos standing in the dead flower patch that is my front yard with signs stating “YOU B#$^H, EVEN BEAR HATES YOU.” And I’d wake up with egg caked to my windows and fake blood thrown at my car etc…. I don’t want any part of that. I’d have to be hush-hush, just to avoid that. But I’d totally tell here. Maybe just in code. If I don’t post for a few days and then come here and then write “lol, bear is never going to forgive me for what i’ve done” then you’ll know.
Haha! You’d have “HOAR LIVZ HEER!” (misspelled, of course) spray painted onto every window and on your front door.
Check. “Bear won’t forgive me” has been added to my LTR lexicon. Now let’s just hope one of us gets the chance to write it!
I like that he’s not a man-whore. He totally could be, but he’s not. He’s such a sweetheart 🙂
ya the royal wedding was lovely even though all Sarah burton did was get grace kellys dress dry cleaned for the event. anyhoozle… I think rob was one of those boys who was too shy to approach girls and that girls thought he was too good looking to approach, and when he went out it was for drinks with the lads and got to hammered to try to pick up girls
another reason kstew is convenient, friends with benefits and it’s both in their mutual interest that they both keep their mouth shut
oops I meant to say SWSNBN
god I hope the krisbians and robsteners don’t crack our code it’ll be a thumbs down bloodbath
and it’s both in their mutual interest makes no sense
I like replying to myself normalness
Are we having another contest today?! Besides the poor girl with 11 thumbsdown, you are on a roll!!
thumbs up for replying to yourself! normal is encouraged here!
Would I kiss and tell?? Heck no…
I’d want Rob to come back for more. 😉
I don’t expect people he hung out with in London to kiss and tell. I wouldn’t share my life with the worldwide interwebs either, Rob or not Rob.
The only shadow zone (insert Twin Peaks music here) is when he went to the US, pre Twi glory and he wasn’t very selective with people because he didn’t know anyone. Where are those PR gals he was talking about and everybody he met randomly at parties?
Someone is going to talk about it, sooner or later. HE’s too famous now and he’s too adorable and people like him. In a few years’ time, when the Twi semi-fame is gone, people who were with him shoting Twilight or those PR girls, will talk about it. Their careers will be over (not Rob’s !!!) and those little stories and pieces of his love/sex life will be all that’s left to cash in.
We’ll find out. If we’ll still care, is another question.
actually he said, he “expected” to “meet” some (models), that this then had never happened and he wondered why…. (i wonder as well 🙂 )
LOL – obviously since Rob got his agent at seventeen she kept turning up to every date of his waving a NDA for the poor girl to sign. That’s why we never heard anything – and that’s why poor Rob might still be a virgin…expert cockblocking. Today, though, I think most girls would sign pretty much anything to get a date, without batting an eyelash. Kneel, open your mouth, pray..and sign on the dotted line, please.
This is a little off-topic (Okay, Reese does “talk about” their WFE make out scenes). I just saw this video and I think it’s one of the cutest interviews that I’ve seen from this deluge of interviews we just got.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WezFpMrnY5E
Reese is such a likeable person. I remember watching her in “The Man in the Moon”. I loved that movie. Anyway, I wanna hear Rob sing in polish!!!
i love reese so much, i like how she is constantly making jokes about rob. and herself.
i never even knew rob and her presented at an awards show just saw the video there on you tube. obsessionfail.
Ha! Pashing!! (sp?) What I don’t do that? Yes you do, passionate kissing. Pashing, I saw it!
Reese totally had me lol’ing with that! So funny!
My Aussie friend has never used the word pashing. But she’s not into Rob so maybe that explains it.
Cute video. I need Reese’s dermatologist. Very few wrinkles. Envy. I don’t like the background music, though. Sort of maddening. I like how Rob scratches his belly. I want to be that itch so bad.
Oh, yes, I’d definitely be the itch to his scratch;)
Please forgive my spelling. Voldemort if I must spell correctly. Happy Birthday Moon………………
This gives me hope. I am glad I am not the only one that noticed. I have two diffent links. the first made Regis and Kelly “Rob you are so busted”
http://www.eonline.com/videos/v101665_the-soup-blog:-“live-with-regis-and-kelly”.html
Ladies I give you Rob and Reese………..
ROBsessed did this one. Thank you girls it was one of my favorites. Yes there is such a thing as “Tit tape”
http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2011/05/robert-pattinson-is-reese-witherspoons.html
Sorry yiou will have to copy and paste this.
Can’t get it to work for me otherwise.
http://www.eonline.com/videos/v101665_the-soup-blog:-“live-with-regis-and-kelly”.html
“Rob you are so busted”
Regis yelling at him: “Have you seen enough?!” CLASSIC
😯 I thought only we noticed. Uh-oh. Rob, you are too obvious. You need to ask someone on how to be subtle. I think Dick needs to send you another email ASAP.
…..we know Robs a boob man and sometimes a bottom man……..we’ve caught him several times here on LTR!!!!
HAPPY BDAY MOON, YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE GIRL, WISHING ALL THE BEST IN LIFE AND CARREER, HOPE ALL YOUR WISHERS COMES TRUE!
We all know this has been a whirlwind press junket and I know I’ve missed a bunch of stuff. But this radio interview is hilarious. It’s a must listen. Part 2 has Rob reading lines for their “new movie” Vampire Vet. Enjoy!
http://thinkingofrob.com/2011/05/06/audio-robert-pattinson-interview-with-91-9-sea-fm/
Dear Rob,
Thanks for being such a sport!
Love ya!
Oh, darnit, will have to save this for when I get home. Stupid work computer with no audio! But I do like the idea of Vampire Vet. Did you guys see that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is in the works?
The scriptwriter was in a bookstore, and noticed shelves full of Twilight and Abraham Lincoln bios. He decided to combine.
A little nervous about it, but totally curious. Same scriptwriter wrote “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”
Bad News: “Your dog didn’t make it”
Good News: “I don’t need lunch anymore.”
Oh Rob. This makes me even more keenly aware that you would so be awesome on SNL (or Colbert). You must. Soon.
Could you imagine? He went on Jon Stewart’s show (which was hilarious) but I wanna see him on Colbert. That guy is like sarcasm 27/4. And Colbert likes to mention him. Last year he told some guy that he doesn’t look like Rob but that he looks like he has the same hygiene as Rob. Lmao. And this clip about Rob throwing his poop. (at around 2:10) http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/267154/march-11-2010/monkey-on-the-lam—florida
And two weeks ago when he photoshopped a picture of him using a taser on Rob. Lol
That was a riot. I’d love to see Rob on that show with him. My life will be complete (well, almost complete) though, when I see Rob hosting and doing crazy skits on SNL. He get’s asked about it constantly and he’s gonna have to cave someday. Betty White did.
I think paps, his overly nosey fans, and twitter have been major cockblockers for the dude since he became famous. The poor guy can’t even get a quick look at Reese’s new and improved pregnancy boobs without it being broadcasted!
Pre-twilight though? With that whole britpack thingy of his, basically a hot, non-collegiate fraternity of musicians roaming London afterhours nightly? Guy was getting the pootie tang left and right.
lol
But the thing is, they’re Brits. Which means they’re far more likely to get totally bladdered and then be of no use to anyone!