25 things for Rob to do (for us) on his Birthday!

Dear Rob,

I would like the record to show that I had to google your birthday because I didn’t know whether my guess of 25 was right or not, but according to Wiki I was right. So what does your biggest fan (clearly) have to say to you on your birthday? Well I thought about it on my way to work this morning and all I could come up with for 25 is that you’re now allowed to legally, on your own, rent a car in the states. As a lady who is (a tad!) older than you, I’m sad to say this is the last of big milestone birthdays…

So since you’re now past the age of interesting birthdays we’ve come up with a list of 25 things we’d like to see you, Robert Pattinson do in the future…

  1. Have Tomstu help you shot gun a bud light while reading the latest chapter of War and Peace on your iPad. Multitasking!
  2. Write a Rob Pattinson Fan Fic
  3. Date someone interesting. At least for a few weeks, someone who flashes her vajayajay in the camera so we can write about it
  4. Decide to only wear short running shorts for an entire year. This way we can run a countdown till your thigh tan line disappears
  5. Become a big fan of REALLY classy and expensive foods that you have to buy from specialty shops. So instead of pics of you at circle k we see pics of you at the local wine and cheese shop stocking up on caviar and toast points. AAAAAanything so we dont have to write about hot pockets ever again!

    What’s a birthday without Dick?

  6. Take a hint from Taylor Lautner and make Dick Pattinson a producer on all your upcoming movies, insuring that we will see him at all premieres and that his retirement home will be extra posh. Dick is now able to produce movies about the history of hand gestures and classic cars. All of which you are forced to act or appear in, natch.
  7. In a few years when you’re not the biggest deal in the world, go on either Sesame Street or Yo Gabba Gabba and do a children’s song about being “flippy” and uncoordinated.
  8. Begin training in your off time as an extreme down hill skiier/bob sledder/skate boarder/swimmer/ any sort of sport so that we can see you try to complete in next years Olympics
  9. Write a memoir of your short short life thus far. Include stories of how dorky you were in school and how you now crank call all the popular kids. Too bad you don’t realize everyone has caller id now and they know it’s you.

    Wait, has this happened?

  10. Lend your voice to a character on the Simpsons who happens to be an Edward Cullen type and woos Lisa (the Bella-type, duh)..
  11. Begin a Twitter account where you only follow and retweet Justin Bieber and RPattzNews tweets
  12. Convince Sam Bradley you’ve changed your style. Ask him to take you to Claire’s to get ONE ear pierced and then ask to borrow his blazer collection. Get photographed by the paparazzi. Become our hero.
  13. Actually adopt the Sam Bradley style. Make us very sad. Forever.
  14. Take up playing the banjo/mandolin/lap steel. Join some sort of country/bluegrass/Americana band and drive us even crazier.
  15. Start recording yourself doing dramatic readings of Tweets/diiirrrtay fan fics/comments about you. Say UNF a lot and remind us all we look crazy!
  16. Whenever Summit or whoever gets around to rebooting Twilight with a new cast insist on playing Edward Cullen no matter how weird it is or old you look. Tell them you’re Forever 17!!!!
  17. Buy every season of Saved by the bell on DVD then chronicles the whacky mishaps of the gang on your Tumblr: HeckYeaSBTB. Half way through screencapping  the episode where they discover oil on the football field and Becky the duck dies to discover this tumblr already exists: http://lolslater.tumblr.com too bad…
  18. Go to local drug stores in whatever city you’re filming in/living, get photographed every day leaving with a bag full of odd combination of stuff: can of tuna fish, Anniversary card for grandparents, his and hers lube, spindle of cd’s, can of silly string and a bottle of peppermint Schnapps. Next day buy the same thing, different store.
  19. Get social ala Jbone- start a Facebook page. Start to poke random fans. Let hilarity ensue.
  20. Legally change your name to “Ron.” It’s just easier for all of us that way.
  21. Ask Kellan to meet you at the Motor Lodge in Studio City. Wear a red wig.
  22. Buy a silver Volvo. Minivan. “It’s so convenient!”
  23. After dressing up as a clown woman for WFE, you decide life’s much better as a happy clown lady with a nipple tassle and you decide to live life as a tranny.
  24. Talks it over with Steph & gets permission to write another Twi novel. 15 years in the future about Jacob & Renesmee. She defs steps out on Jacob with Nahuel for prom though. You’ve been writing the scene in your head for years now…
  25. You decide to finally be honest with your fans. Debbie’s story is true. ALL of it. The beige bra, the Harley, Father Cramer, the bolero jacket and the Twicons. You’re madly in love and DEBBERT LIVES!


They ran outta 5’s at the store. Sorry about that!

Happy Birthday to the 25 year old dude we’ve spent the last almost 3 years of our lives (not) with. Hope it’s happy and fun and you get an updated Jitterbug phone. I hear they have this thing called “texting” capabilities on them now.

Feliz Cumpleanos!

What do you want to see Rob do? What should he add to his bday list of honey’s do’s we gave him?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


71 Responses to “25 things for Rob to do (for us) on his Birthday!”

  1. robgirl86 says:

    Dear Rob,
    happy birthday to you
    25y…wow….time goes by….I remember when u were….ahem no,….. forget it 🙂

    so wherever u are
    have a supernice day, happiness & the possibility to do
    whatever u wanna do

    P.S. 25y is officially OLD, i mean too old for teens & quite right for me 🙂
    P.P.S. i second the……”write a Rob Pattinson fanfic” ! It may become the only ONE i would try to read….

  2. drsaka says:

    Dear Rob, Happy 25th Birthday! All my best wishes for you-

    BTW- I’m very happy that our (slight) age gap is closing as I have not aged at all!

  3. Sue G. says:

    Happy 25th Birthday Rob!

    I would live to see you in a romantic comedy! That would be #1 on my list!

  4. dazzledtodeath says:

    Happy 25th Rob!!

    Just keep on doing what you’re doing (except the hanging with the mullephant/Volde part)-2+ years later and you’re as charming and funny as ever. Wait a minute, if you just keep on being charming, funny, adorkable, etc. etc. I may never get my life back..eh.Carry on.

    Try some of the things on Moon’s list-I’d esp. love to see a fanfic written by you-what would your pen name be? EdwardSux? BiteMeSummit? ScruffyBritHobo?

  5. natteringyeahrobber says:

    First of all, Happy Birthday Dad! Oh, and you too, Rob. I had no idea you shared a birthday with my dad, but that might explain lots of things. My dad has always been a little weird, he’s very smart, he can’t drive very well, he is partial to frozen savory pastry goods, and wears the same clothes like ALL the time. He has this too-tight light blue vest he wears nearly every day. My Mom harbors many thoughts about destroying that vest, but she knows it is like a security blanket to him (sort of like your beanie). I’m sure you’d get along with him, Rob. He could be your Dad, though then if he was your Dad, my thoughts for you would not only be lecherous, they’d also be incestuous. Ewh.

    So moving along. Happy Birthday Rob. And in re #22, why buy one when you can ride in one for free. I have a back seat with your name on it. No, literally, I just made a post-it with your name on it, just in case you finally decide to show up to my place. My kids love the way I go around and round this turnaround, until we are all dizzy (and/or see a motorcycle cop). You’d like it too. I’ll take you and the kids out for pizza and wine (DH can drive then) then we can hit up the yuppie food shop for some photo opps for LTR.


  6. robsfuturemate says:

    Happy Birthday Mr. Pattinson! Yes, I think 25 is old enough to deserve the title of Mister and for you to start dating older fans,oops women!
    My preschoolers and I have been discussing having a bday party for you today. They love parties! And since they call you The Man In the Closet (not because they think your gay, they just see your pics in my closet) I thought it appropriate (lol) to have the jello that’s been in the closet for ages.
    Have a wonderful day Rob and host SNL sometime!


    • robsfuturemate says:

      This does sound a tad bit creepy.

      I’M NOOOOOORMAAAAAL! ( I just really want to get rid of that jello!)

      Thanks for understanding 😉

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        lols. Super normal, RFM. Unless you make the class sing “Happy Birthday to the Future Mate Of Our Teacher.” That would be less normal. But it would be fun to hear a group of 3-4 year olds sing that.

      • maggie says:

        rfm: You’re talking to yourself! Please stay in the realm of normal – like me, who is now pretending that as of today, the age gap between Ron and myself has greatly decreased.

        Totally normal.

      • robsfuturemate says:

        So if I hadn’t replied to myself that comment would have been Normal?! hahaha

        Too bad one of the kids brought cupcakes for their last day and we didn’t get to get rid of the darn jello!!!

        Funny Story:
        I rebeled today and wore my discreet NM shirt to work. Yes, it’s discreet and yes, vampires are discouraged at my work. One of my kids asked ‘Who’s that man on your shirt?’ A boy replied, “He’s the Man in the Closet!”
        “Who likes him?” another boy asked. The first boy says, “Miss (rfm) does!” Another girl replies, “she wants him to be her prince!”

        Awww, I love my kiddos!!

        (and who’s thumbsdowning? who doesn’t like Jello and SNL?) 😉

        • robsfuturemate says:

          I forgot! The first child then proceeded to tell me “But he’s only paper!” Then I got into a discussion about what his name is, he’s job…they had a lot of questions!

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Oh well. Bring the jello to our LTR/LTT convention/sleepover/twimom basement party and whomever falls asleep first gets a handful of warm jello.

          Next week, my preschooler is supposed to bring an “object of art” to school. I am thinking about printing out Rome Rob for him. I’m sure his teacher will agree.

          • robsfuturemate says:

            I WISH I had preschoolers like that! They would get an A. If we actually gave grades, you know.

            I also corrupted the other preschoolers. One of my coworkers asked me last week how you spell Pattinson. One of her kids said “Robert Pattason” as her Rr word!

  7. Keisha says:

    I LOVE #14: Mumford & Sons & Rob

    Happy Birthday, Rob!! I love cake.

  8. melronin says:

    Dear Rob


    Among the 25 things you can do on your bd, please take your privat jet and fly over here and lemme show you how greeks celebrate their birthday. I assure you it will be worth it! 🙂

    Love you baby…have the greatest of days!
    25…. wwwwwwooooowwww another step closer to… meeeee!!!


    PS. ofcourse I don’t age…I just mature and wait for you to catch up with me 😀

  9. LadyN says:

    Awww Happy birthday, Ron! I feel less of a cougar now! 😀

    ….and friday the 13th? smh. poor kid.

  10. maggie says:

    Happy Birthday Mr. Sex on Legs. I’m so happy that you’re getting closer to my age (I no longer have birthdays). Now that your’re 25, I don’t have to feel quite so pervy. At least that’s what I”m telling myself.

    Hope you have a wonderful day and party like the rock star that you are.

    Oh, and if you were able to sneak into LA for any reason, come on by. I’ll even bake you a cake.

  11. milfygoodness says:

    Hi Moon & UC,
    Felt like I needed to check in since it is the big man’s birthday – I didn’t remember how old he would be either! In fact, if my husband’s bday wasn’t right around now, I might have forgotten poor RPattz altogether. What a difference a year (or two) makes.
    Hope you two are doing great! I still think about you guys sometimes, even though my in-my-own-head romance with Rob is pretty much over. (I haven’t even seen Water for Elephants yet)

  12. Vera says:

    Happy birthday Rob, wish you the best of everything.

  13. che says:

    i’m gonna read this later but
    happy birthday Rob
    it took u so long to got here
    finally FROZEN 25!!!!!
    luv u

  14. maggie says:

    Someone, somewhere released this picture from Bel Ami. A birthday gift for Rob’s fans? Don’t know, but Rob… your future as a movie star never has shined so brightly.


    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Wow, suspenders are d-o-w-n. That can only mean one thing….

      • maggie says:

        There’s something you can do for us Rob now that you’re a man of 25: Wear those sexpenders at ALL TIMES – and ALWAYS have them d-o-w-n! That will keep all of us groveling at your feet forever.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Uma does appear to be in some sort of trance in that still.

          Does this movie have a release date yet?

          • The Old One says:


          • Katycougar says:

            I can’t wait for it either. Read the book if you have not it is actually free and a quick read.
            Here is the link if you have not.


            When he seduces a woman in church…………..now that is a Rob we need to see.

          • maggie says:

            I’m sure we can all relate to that trance. An Oscar for Uma for depicting all of Rob’s fans faces if they were sitting on a bed and Rob was leering over them with that look.

            I haven’t heard any release dates yet. I wish they’d hurry it up. I think releasing a still is a good sign that it’s on the way (I hope).

            And yes, read the book. It’s short, funny and sexy. Like Rob – except he’s long and lean, funny and sexy. DuRob will surely kill us all.

        • RobsFan-tasy says:

          Wont we do that any ways Maggie? LOL *Big Squishy HUGS to YOU and RFM* *waves To everyone else* I AM still alive and Perving over the sexy and ALWAYS Amazing Mr. Robert Pattinson!!! How can I not? He is, after all, Divine!!!

          • maggie says:

            RFT!!!!! Hey gf!!! I haven’t talked to you in like forever. HAPPY ROB’S B-DAY!! (What? It’s not a national holiday??) I hope all is well. Still status quo here. I’ll email you shortly.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Can we start a Bel Ami petition? Bring us the film and make sure you prortray Duroy as he is written!
      BA needs to have lots of BA! 😉

  15. Katycougar says:

    Happy Quarter Century Robert,
    This is a milestone in years, man years that is. It is a year when female expectations for you reach a new level. I have some things on the wonderful list of 25 that I would allow you to change. It will be your choice. Some of these are suggestions for your benefit and ours of course. The rest you must do……….
    1. Buy a home with a big Walk-in closet. One where you can hold a wide variety of clothes in all your favorite colors. I see drawers with a vast variety of Ellen underwear and Hanes t-shirts. You can go in there on your down time and hug them all you want. (The home should be on the Central Coast of California, beautiful place. You can have a house between Jeff Bridges and Oprah. That way you can drink with Jeff and read with Oprah. Better yet they both read and drink, it’s your choice.)
    2. You get the new app for your iPhone called “Track the Crazy Ass Fan” and as a bonus they add the “Track the Crazy Ass Paparazzi.”
    3. Get rid of the Sporty Camry and get back your “hot sports car.”
    3. Another road trip? Sounds like you had a great time. You two looked so happy here. Call up Tom, he needs a break.
    4. An older attractive woman with boobs. Yes you can not only look but touch. Not that Crazy woman with those lifesaving devices that you had the uncomfortable moment with in Brazil. This is just an example since you already seem to like looking at them.
    5. You get to star in a movie where your first lines are “Now you are playing my Lover” and yes you will have a beautiful woman with Boobs as well. The film will be titled: “From Mother to Loverrrrrrrrrr.” It will be a film about a couple going through therapy. She has a problem because she once played your Mother, and you are just fine with it. You will win an Oscar and you will become the second actor to drop the “F” bomb at the Oscars as you say, “What the Fuc…….. “ Then you give the finger to Summit and critics as you laugh your drunken ass off stage. Even Robert Downey Junior asks you to be his BF.
    I know I am with everyone when I say we want you to have a wonderful life. If you want to play the Cello go ahead, you can do whatever you want. Just whatever you do, do it with gusto. Live an authentic life. Be a sick antelope or the Lover we know you can be………..but do it.

    • LatersBaby says:

      Great letter. Is it strange that, even in the photo of Rob driving, you get the sense that he can’t drive well?

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Based on the angle of the Toyota truck, it does appear he’s turning into the wrong side of the road. Also, cannot see his hands at propert driving position. Tom does not appear to be too worried, though, no hands over his eyes, so it must not be that bad.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Rob should also download the app “find the closest LTR commenter.” That way when he needs a NORMAL fan (to help undo his suspenders, make dinner, provide ample boobage, role play mother-loverrrr, give him driving lessons, be his karaoke partner), all he has to do is hit “search.”

    • Katycougar says:

      I left something important out. Rob I am so sorry. Your wish of Invisiblity as you told us about. You can lay your pasty self out by the pool. There is on condition though from us at LTR. We will grant you that wish if you are only visible to us.


      Now I know how you spent your last birthday because you told us about you and your friends, Reese showing up at
      2 AM with 12 bottles of Vodka and staying with you and your mates until 8 AM. That is the way we roll here you know.

      I think with our suggestions we could add to this and trust me I think you will enjoy yourself. I live close to Reese and we can see if she can join us, maybe bring some of that imported Tennessee Moonshine.

  16. Dear TomStu,
    WHERE are you, dude, helloooo, the surprise party is tonight, did you find HIM?

    Dear Rob,
    Please to be sending me your number, your friends are not trustworthy, I suspect them to fight over the one present one of them found in a suitcase.

    Happy brithday BTW!


  17. MidnightCougar says:

    *waves hello* Miss you all & wanted to say hi LTR Ladies! Long time no comment for me, RL has been crazy, but I had to pop in on this special day & wish our adorakble sweetheart a HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY!

    Dear Rob baby: I baked you some cupcakes to celebrate this special day. I hope you never change & I wish you many more Happy Birthdays. <3 xo MC


  18. Cath says:

    Happy Birthday Dear Rob, Happy Birthday Dear Rob…

    Never mind that it’s Friday the 13th, just take care you don’t trip over your own legs today sweetie …(Yes, I’ll call you sweetie today because it’s your b’day…)

    I need numbers 1/9/14/15 to happen and I’ve got a few ‘private’ wishes who are still standing this year, hahaha.

    I’ve got one very simple wish I’m willing to share, book shopping with Rob. Yes. I’m a nerd, I know. 🙂

    Congrats on the Rob everyone!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      At first I thought 1/9/14/15 were your Lotto numbers or something! And was thinking, “Wow, Rob really has connections!” hahaha

  19. LatersBaby says:

    Dear Rob,

    I had to pop in today to do the obvious.

    I hope that Paul Giamatti is taking you out for a few beers after work and gives you a big stack of the Hanes T-shirts you requested.

    I also hope you allow yourself to surf the interwebs and absorb some of the strange, anonymous birthday love being send your way today.

    You’ve made us feel all gooey inside and we just are always looking for ways to say thanks.


    PS-PLEASE Do Number 7 some day!!!!

  20. Oh my gawd. You. Said. UNF!

    I hope Rob is having a happy 25th. I’m happy because it means in 4 years he and I will be the same age.

    Meet yous at the dumpster tonight? I’ll bring some fried Twinkies and Heines.

  21. MariaCecilia says:

    Happy birthday and welcome to the world of grown-ups! (well, theoretically…)
    When I turned 25 I was told that I was now officially an old lady – but i tend to think that we are all frozen at 17 at heart, so age is only a number.
    Hope you have a great time, get a surprise party you actually enjoy, and feel the love in the air tonight!
    In the future you might:
    1. Make a record. Please. Just a small one. For me?
    2. Play some outrageous character, like Sir Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth Night!
    3. Learn to scuba dive, and suddenly turn up in the sea at my summer house, in need of CPR. (I know CPR!)
    4. Start a blog where you write letters to Edward Cullen.
    Hugs and Lemon drop Martinis to you on your Big Day!

  22. lysinak says:

    Definitely host SNL for your birthday and grow a mustache… you’re a man now!

  23. Pattygirl says:

    Happy 25th Birthday Rob, MAY you live a long, happy and beautiful life! You have a pure soul and have not been tarnish by the Hollywood rat race like : I want my own perfume, my clothing line, my record deal, my ad campaign etc.

    You know your priority and choose projects not by the paycheck but if its interesting. Don’t change!

  24. RobsFan-tasy says:

    MAggie~ Okay BB I’m just a hanging round for now. You didn’t think I’d miss the BB’s Birthday did you?

  25. roslynselene says:

    Ahhh! Accept my apologies for commenting so late, Rob. Happy freakin’ Birthday! I just barely got to sit down today. I hosted a pool party (for you, of course, duh!) and the guests FINALALILLY left so that’s my excuse. :p
    Anywhoozle, hope you had a great one. : )

  26. Pattygirl says:

    Dearest Rob. WFE made me fall in love deeper with you, if we were married ,I want to marry you again, thats how much. and so does the rest of the world. Keep making good movie choices!

    • roslynselene says:

      I watched it for the first time yesterday. AH-MAZE-ING. There are no words…

      • maggie says:

        Ros: I was just thinking of you and wondering if you had been able to see it yet. I’m so glad you did. Beautiful movie with a beautiful ROB, huh?””

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