The gossip and the what if’s of Rob and Kristen breakin’ up!

Dear Rob,

Word on the street (aka Star Magazine or as we call it “The News”) has it that ol Krissy Stew (makes her less intimidating, right?) has been stepping out on you with the Country Strong dude himself, Garrett Hedlund in an effort to make you jeals because according to the gossip hounds you’ve been out acting like a playboy.

Ok, ok… everyone can stop laughing from both those tidbits. Kristen making you jealous…. and you acting like a playboy.

Are we making you jealous yet, Rob? Yet… what about now? Now?

The rumors go that Kristen and Garrett snuck off to The Roxy where they got caught. Yea, caught for bad taste! Let me give you a hint of the types that play at the Roxy: Sam Bradley, 100 Monkeys and Steel Panther. It’s like a less sad version of the Key Club. And THAT’S saying something. So first of all if THAT’S where they’re going you should just pull the rip chord cause you don’t want to be with her, there’s no telling what she would put on a mix tape for you. I’m JUST SAYING! Also, I’d like to think if KStew wanted to make you jealous, Rob she’d come up with something WAY better than the Roxy. I mean she’s working in London right now, she has Tom Stu on speed dial and access to someone who can send her In N Out and paparazzi at her finger tips. If she REALLY wanted to make you jealous I think she’d employ some sort of burger fetish scenario with some dudes and not some cheese ball show at the Roxy

Then we get to the part about you partying like a single guy on the set of Cosmopolis in Toronto. Hanging out on a balcony with a dog and two dudes? Walking from your trailer to set with your burly man guard wearing a fishing vest? Someone should alert Hugh Hefner and Joe Francis because this is the sign of a true player! I sure hope they’re taking notes somewhere.

But can you dance like THIS Garrett Headlund?! That’s what I thought

Before I sound too Robsten-y, and really we all know this is crap cause it is Star (I mean THE NEWS) but WHAT IIIIFFF… GOD FORBID (please don’t kill me Robsteners) what if they, on some crazy world none of us want to live in, cause if robsten ain’t together life isn’t worth living, they break up? What would happen if something like this was REALLY true… what if they weren’t the happy holy family with the dogs and cats and yellow duffle bag and wrist holding that we all love. What would happen if Rob really was doing it up like a single guy in Toronto and he was all disheveled in those pictures because in the hotel room are a bunch of slutty fangirls hookers and what if Kristen really was asking the Tron guy to show her his life disc (that’s probably sexy to a comic book nerd)? All I have to say is I don’t want to be anywhere near a computer or mobile device with any sort of link to Twitter because it will spontaneously burst in flames and tears accompanied by the wailing and gnashing of teeth and probably some maniacal laughing (me and UC).

Nice try Tornado! They’re not scared

Rob, I also ask that if you haven’t devised a break up plan, you, Stephanie, Nick and Dean come up with some STAT because IF this ever happens I might actually fear for you life. Regardless of who’s “fault” it is I will never underestimate a Kristen fan. If you pitted a Kristen fan against a natural disaster I’d go to Vegas with a wad of Taco Bell coupons and bet it ALL on KStew lovers. Their shit is NOT weak. It’s more scary.

So should this awful event ever happen Rob, please activate your panic room (heh see what I did there) or get thee to my house were all LTR girls will ban together to form a human lady force shield of protectiveness while we take turns employing the tactics of the wolfpack by running perimeters around my house. You will be safe… till they figure out how to tunnel in. And they will.

May the lady force be with you…

PS Happy Birthday Momma Moon!!!!!!!

Are you worried for Rob if/when they break up? Is this a totally irrational possibility I’ve made up? Do we think there’s any truth to jealousy and acting single? Also, I’m starting a sign-up who can be on parameters from midnight till 3AM?


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102 Responses to “The gossip and the what if’s of Rob and Kristen breakin’ up!”

  1. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    According to Fringe, there is a world where Rob is single and sleeping around. There’s also a world where they just broke up, there’s one where he’s married to Nina, or crazy in love with TomStu… and so on…
    In which one would a true genuine LTR girl want to live?
    A Robsten world would be the only correct answer, right, right? 😉

  2. northernlights says:

    I think that gossip is gossip is gossip and I wash it down with tequila, lime and a pinch of salt 🙂

    On a more serious note, any relationship needs to be nurtured and supported to survive and it can be challenging to do this while working in two separate countries.

  3. HowToBe says:

    Those Krisbians are ruthless. I love Rob and all BUT I’m not putting myself between their wrath and Rob should that dark day ever come.

  4. inessa says:

    When they break up (not if, when, because honestly who the hell thinks these two are going to last?) the krisbians and the rpattz lovers are going to fight that would eventually destroy all forms of live on this planet, but it will be hilarious. Can’t wait:)

  5. Alright, I’ll sign up for some god awful perimeter time. Cause it’s guaranteed that I can meet both Rob and Moon, right?!

    • Cazza says:

      You mean….. meet Moon first and then Ron! I’ll be second in command on this mission.


    • HAHAHAHA join us in the bomb shelter

      • The bomb shelter sounds much safer than the perimeter!

        Inside shelter:
        Costco size boxes of Hot Pockets
        A wine cellar full of Heinekein
        Bearskin rug (don’t want Rob to miss that too much)
        Mini bearskin rug, for Bear
        Xbox 360 with a variety of games (including Rock Band)
        A plethora of guitars and a harmonica
        And some sort of sleeping area (not that it will be needed much)

  6. ladyofthemeadow says:

    I realize I’m getting old when I don’t know who the heck is Garrett Hedlund.

    I don’t care if Rob and KStew break up, now that BD filming is over.

    I used to muse about what would happen if they had a huge fight during the filming of BD, and whether they could be professional about it. Worst case scenario: they’d refuse to finish the film or at least their dislike for each other would be apparent in the final footage.

    Now THAT would be a national disaster. And I am totally not giving them credit for predicting they could be professional about it.

    • purplescool says:

      Yeah, I have no idea who Garret Hedlund is either…

      I don’t think that Summit would “allow” them to break up until all the press for BD2 is over.

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        Good point, I think you’re right about Scummit not allowing them to publicly break up before BD2. But I am of the jaded view that it’s the communications people who really run the world.

        • purplescool says:

          Ha – “Scummit” – love it! Yes, I agree and share your jaded view about those who run the media (I formerly worked in the advertising industry – *shudder*). I’m of the belief that pretty much everything you see on TV/Internet is made up – or at the very best, manipulated in a major way.

      • twiprof says:

        check out Country Strong…Garrett Hedlund has a deep singing voice and is easy on the eyes. He has a supporting role in the movie, but also a pivotal role…and a sex scene with Leighton Meister. He is no Rob….repeat…he is no Rob….but he can park his shoes under my bed anytime….

  7. nocoolname says:

    Oh Moon! You make me laugh as always, which is good for the endorphins it brings, but not so good as it may cause me to go into labor early.

  8. roslynselene says:

    Silly, Moon. They won’t break up. Haven’t you heard? Their love is EPIC! If they break up, all hope in true love will be forever lost and dead.

    Okay, seriously, Krisbians scare me. They sound butchy, bitchy, and like they can kill me and feed me to Bear if they wanted to. Who knows what they will do to Rob if…

    Dear Rob,

    Hugs and tickles,

    Dear Moon,
    That picture (you know the one!)…why?! My eyes! My brain! My SOUL!!!!

    No hugs and tickles,

  9. *takes clipboard* I shall take the Midnight to 3am watch. I’ll bring bags of BK stackers and a pack of vicious yet charming chiweinies to act as decoys. see with the Twilight guide (grumble, hiss, pos) and here . They will never see it coming until it’s too late. It’s all for Rob..the army of mini cujo’s.

  10. Marysway says:

    As funny as this is….is so true. Scary. Kstew fans are batshit crazy as well as robsten fans. Dean better buff up even more and carry weapons of mass destruction when the news hits cause our boy will need it from the the crazy’s. Sad really

  11. Edible art? says:

    Oh my funniest thing i’ve read in yonks – till they figure out how to tunnel in cause they will – damn right. Lets face it if that day ever comes the fall out will only occur on the Internet. In the real world everything will bumble along as normal and 99.9% of the worlds population will be completely oblivious !!! Ok maybe a slight sizemic blip around LA California, but you know that might be from “natural forces” not Robsten !!!!

  12. guitargirl says:

    Together? Apart? I’ll just be glad when (hell freezes over, and I’ve managed to nail a jelly to the ceiling) people will no longer feel the need to use both of their names in the same sentence as a topic of conversation. Hell for that reason only, I hope they’ve gotten bored with one another after 5 movies and Rob goes gay for Tom and Bobby,( famously getting caught indulging in a hot threesome on Clapham Common) whilst Kristen hooks up with Zac Efron and tries to break into Disney (reinventing herself as the latest pop princess.) Anything to relieve the boredom of the Rob and Kristen saga for those of us who dont give a crap. LOL!

    • pukesten says:

      I really think don’t give a craptens are just to afraid to commit to one side or the other

      • guitargirl says:

        Ha ha, or lazy buggers like me who can’t be arsed discussing it most of the time. I just crawl out of my shell, brandy in hand occasionally, and comment whilst rolling my eyes,(until my damaged brain cells give up the ghost until the next time.) LOL!

      • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

        Ok, I have to come clean. I give a crapsten. I want him to be happy, but I’d prefer him be happy with someone who smiled. Someone who kissed and hugged him back instead of run in the other direction if he gets within a two foot radius. Someone like me. Ah, hell. Not someone *like* me, but ME…

    • Bea says:

      Kristen as a Disney princess… can you imagine the effort not to cuss?

  13. Keisha says:

    The (Fake) News: Garrett Hedlund was using Andrew Garfield last week in Hawaii to make his On The Road co-star TomStu jealous. (It’s always all about TomStu, isn’t it?)
    When questioned Hedlund commented, “I will not be a pawn in this game. I will be a queen.”

  14. maggie says:

    Sign me up for the perimeter detail. I’m ready. Although I do want a shift inside Moon’s house which will entail tucking Rob into bed at night or helping him bathe in the morning or feeding him hot pockets and cobb salads for breakfast. But I am ready for the fight. Those people are total whack jobs and if they have any ideas about taking out any of their cuckoo hostility on our beautiful boy when their castle in the sand falls apart, well they better be prepared to face the LTR Defense Force. Bring it on, I say!!!!

  15. Rob's Flaming Dashboard says:

    Only 21 comments? I’d better get to Barnes and Noble and investigate. It always cracks me up when the guy there puts the magazines with opposing front pages next to each other.

  16. stitchcat says:

    Who are Rob and Kristen, again?

  17. twiprof says:

    doubters! Robsten lives…..
    remember when Rob visted moantreal? He was staking territory back then with Garrett Hedlund….there is no competition…but Kristen does play his estranged wife in On The Road…so there’s got to be a little comraderie, right? when you play a role like that?
    and tomstu….has shacked up with….what is that girl’s name? Jude Law’s ex? brain freeze…sienna miller…yes, that’s right….pictures on the internet somewhere of them kissing….
    my prediction….robsten will be together a long time…and when I am 80 in my rocking chair, I will hear of their breakup and die of a broken heart 🙂

  18. pukesten says:

    I think the interweb is broken today cos before any mention of the epic love or negativity towards kstew would start a thumbs down riot!!!!

  19. Robjunkie says:

    I would do midnight perimeter duty, even in jorts if I had to. But more importantly, where do I sign up for the task of personal round-the-clock guarding of Rob? Preferably in a secure room with no escape routes for Rob chance of anyone getting in.

  20. Robjunkie says:

    Is it wrong of me to actually want some drama with these two? They’ve just become so, ugh, boring. Gone are the heady days of wrist holding, flipping the bird in airports across the world, fumbled kisses on the backseat of cars. Good times.

  21. Katycougar says:

    The heaven open…..the Angels rejoice………….Thank God…………….

    Hey let me offer this for you……………. There is more than enough protection here for Rob.

    Dear Rob,
    Have no fear we are all here for you. I happen to know many women……..not little girls that would be willing to offer their services for your protection. I think Dean may need a break from this one. Maybe Stephanie could join in……I think she would be happy to. Have you ever saw a Bitch Fight………scary………..

    Bring it on BITCHES…………………….

    • Katycougar says:

      I have been thinking of a way to contain …………or detain them…………
      Rob had an idea……Think the dungeons would work. I will give Zac a call and see if he can help us out with Disney. I know he has connections. I know a few Germans. I picture a scene out of Pirates………… Bear has the Key………………….

  22. yepImgoingthere says:

    Are you ready? Brace yourselves bc most of you are not going to like this.

    Kristen is a BITCH who treats Rob like SHIT Proof = every single public outing where she hangs on every man around her EXCEPT Rob. The WFE premire – watch the tape again they didnt kiss, he tried to kiss her and she dissed him YET AGAIN. The looks she gives him most of the time are not coy – it’s bitchiness. I know all the excuses about her being shy and intensly private. *Rollseyes* whatever. She didn’t seem to mind cuddling up to garret or taylor or chris or …. *stare* the list can go on.

    I know that you are going to spew hate at me for saying this, and thats ok becasue I don’t really care. I just happened to follow this link bc it said Rob steps out on Kristen and I thought about time the boy grew some balls!

    Honestly, it’s all good either way – I mean he’s not my friend or my lover (yes I do wish like all of you only I am not delusional about it I know there isnt a chance in hell and I am ok with that)

    I just honestly wish this guy would be with a girl who at least looked a tiny bit happy to be his girl. She can sure smile for Garret??

    Apparently Rob likes to be treated like shit so hey I guess I’m ok with that too…I’m just tired of all the F*$cking Kristen love. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck….it’s probably a bitchy little duck.

    Oh, btw I am not what you call a nonsten either, I actually really liked these 2 together for a really long time, but lately I can’t stand to see the way she treats him publically anymore – I’m almost embarrassed for him.

    Okay have fun with this one 😉

    • well i forgot to check comments since i left work Friday, so I probably approved this comment too late for you to get any real ahem “feedback” but I hope there are at least a few who still see it . it could be entertaining

    • pukesten says:

      ok…..i’ll bite

      imgoingthere I think that’s prob the reason most of us don’t get rob and kristen due the way she appears to treat him, in public at least, i think a few months ago you prob would’ve incited a riot but i think most ltr people are kind of over it by now.

    • lola says:

      fun fact: dudes love bitches. lol But dude, people never Rob enough credit. He’s a BITCH too in a lot of ways, like in awesome ways. People always want to paint him like this meek little girl with Kristen and all I ever see is him making fun of her all the time, he baits her publicly all the time. Adn cause she seems a little immature, she takes the bait EVERY TIME, reacts in some way, and then he laughs his ass off at her. How is that him being taken advantage of?

      I mean, I could care less about their dating status. But if you ask me, Kristen’s HIS bitch. She dresses like him now, reads his books, listens to his music, hangs with his friends. It’s so obvious she’s younger and looks up to him, all her cranky public antics don’t fool me for a minute.

      • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

        I like your take on things, Lola. I truly hope that you’re right, too. It breaks my heart to think of Rob having a broken heart over her public displays of non-affection.

    • Nevermind says:

      ok I need to check
      are we in 2008?

    • 4 thumbs up…… no thumbs down… i think you might have the wrong site if you think that comment will incite violence.

      • kaybvee says:

        Seriously, my rather innocuous (so I thought) comment got four thumbs down and that one none! Go figure…

  23. I just want to state for the record that the Roxy can have good bands. They might not be well known but they’re still good.

    Exhibit A (altho this is not the Roxy, they did play there)

    Please feel free to be honest (even tho my bro-in-law is the drummer). They’ve long since disbanded 😉

  24. TwiSherry says:

    As always you make me laugh. I’m not scared to say I love KStew & I love RPattz and “when” (yeah I say when because come on this is Hollywood we’re talking about…no one stays together forever anymore in Hollywood) so again, “when” they break up, I will be sad for them, but yeah I won’t cry a million tears.

    Unfortunately, it does seem that we are surrounded by people that will, and as much as I’d like to believe that your scenario is outlandish, I do fear that it might actually be necessary. I mean seriously not only will Rob be fighting away those people who may be furious about a break up, but moreso, he will be single & those crazies who don’t seem to have learned the “myspace/yourspace” rule will be trying to get all over him. And let’s face it, we all know he’ll only be wanting to get all over me!!!!!! Right??? Hehehehhehe!!!

    To sum it up:

    Sign me UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

  25. Pattygirl says:

    when they break up, or rumored to break up. I will be there for you Rob and bear against the krisbians! As any read that interview with Jap mag screen, Rob wants to make a dog ranch, he shd do a PSA for this, its more effective than all that Oprah shit. I will be 1st in line to adopt a dog!

  26. Pattygirl says:

    krisbians??? they are just losers behind computers. All Kristen indie films fluked in the Box Office.

    • roslynselene says:

      😯 Oh my god. I’m calling Dean to get to your house ASAP. The Krisbians will be there in .5 seconds after they read your comment. You’re in SEVERE danger! Nail your doors and windows shut and get your crosses and holy water.

      • Jessica says:

        …And hide yo wife, hide yo kids, and hide yo husband, cuz them Krisbians be trollin’ every Robfan out here! XD
        lol I don’t know…

        • pukesten says:

          that is the funniest comment ive read here in a long time!!!!
          weeeeeellll it looks like we have ourselves a krisbian out here in the projects LMFAO

      • Pattygirl says:


        krisbians hides behind a lot of identity like robsten, nonies or publicists of rob competitors. they are just a tool and they give KS a bad bad name. If I had time , I wd find a good hacker and trace their true identity.

        They are cowards only capable on cyber bullying.

  27. pukesten says:

    now I knowwhy there has’nt been any STFU kristen haterz comments, there all off editing the BD leaked sex pictures into gifs to make it look like a robsten sex tape

    dear rob
    you have a seriously nice back
    it made me want to read lemony fanfic

    • roslynselene says:

      Oh. Cause I was thinking, “It’s quiet…a little TOO quiet.”
      Now I know why. So there’s more leaks? My god, Summit should invest in a plumber. (Lame joke, I know.) 😛

  28. Lilian says:

    MWHAA HA HA HA HA! *laughingmaniacllywiththunderinthebackground* IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED.

  29. Kaybvee says:

    I rather enjoyed the krisbian leak video yesterday. It *may* be saved in my favorites. I’m sorry Robert, I’m a bad fan! He looks scrumptious in some of the stills, truly.

    I like them together and would be somewhat sad to see them break up (don’t know why!) but he seems so sweet with her! It would be interesting to see his dating life though…he better stay away from the likes of Sienna Miller though…ugh

    Pippa Middleton could be interesting-hmmmmm

    • maggie says:


      • kaybvee says:

        Ugh, just looked and my link was taken down today. Will let you know if I conme across it again. It was all over tumblr though…Spoilerific! Dress too!

        • maggie says:

          What was it? I’ve been looking around today, but haven’t seen anything new.

          • kaybvee says:

            It was a montage of leaked pics set to music, also had photos from the trailer and the “official stills” mixed in, really basically showed the whole movie.

            There were a TON of leaked photos I hadn’t seen before, like what looked like post Bella vamp sex and a few quick glimpses of her dress (which pretty much looks how it is described in the book, not surprising). A lot of cool new photos of the waterfall scene too.

            Probably better you don’t see it really. I couldn’t help but watch it, once it was being posted by Twitter etc. Ugh, I’m just a sucker for that stuff really. Edward may kill me though, he really looks amazing.

    • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

      NOT Pippa! I just don’t like her for some reason. I do like Kate, though. Of course, she happens to be taken. I joke around alot, but I don’t have a problem with KS. I DO, however, wish she’d show Rob some love “if they are together”. *snickers*

  30. Kaybvee says:

    Oh shite! I’m dying.

    P.S. I do wish she would reciprocate more with the affection, although I do think it’s probably a PDA issue with her, one can only hope she isn’t like that with him in private! The WFE car kiss was sad in a way because he obviously doesn’t care who sees them and he seemed eager to show off while she put the breaks on ) :

  31. Jessica says:

    I just want to say…
    LMAO at the third picture! I LOL’d for like ten minutes!! XD

  32. lola says:

    I find all the factions of the twihard effery scary as hell. lol

    You’ve got the crazy krisbians and shippers. But you also go the crazy robsessors and nonstens. Sure there’s some sanity in all four groups, but the Xtreme ones in each of these factions are LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA.

    If Rob and Kristen break up, all hell will break loose. But if they stay together, all hell will break loose. If they walk their/his dog, all hell will break loose. If they don’t walk the damn dog, all hell will break loose.

    BAsically, the twilight fandom is full of a bunch of crazy, crazy twats who have turned Rob into a SIMS character. I mean, I’m crazy for the guy, but I’m not crazy twat levels.


    • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

      Oh, crap, that was funny! I’m happy to say I’m not twat crazy. I honestly read my Rob news from here or Robsessed. So, all this breaking up stuff was not on my radar til approximately twenty minutes ago.

    • L says:

      this made me die of laughter because among my guy friends “walking the dog” is their joke code for jacking off.

      also, rob as a sims character…what would that sims game be called “twihard fantasies come to sims-life! version 248”? “walking the sims-dog with rob (rated M)”? “learning to sims-grocery shop with robpatz. your list includes hot pockets, beer, and! surprise challenge!! a bearskin rug!?!”?

      i can’t decide which i like better….

  33. […] Start World War III and “Go on a break” with you-know-who (but read this post from Moon first) […]

  34. […] Start World War III and “Go on a break” with you-know-who (but read this post from Moon first) […]

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