Ideas for an interesting Rob-weekend (for once…)

Dear Rob,

Every Sunday when I sit down at my desk to pen you a letter, I generally do a little research before-hand. Unless I was texted/called/tweeted about some MAJOR Rob-event that happened during the weekend (which, let’s be honest, hasn’t happened in at least a year- probably more) I generally have nothing to say to you going into Sunday night. So I trust our friends at places like Robsessed to fill me in on what you’ve been up to in the past few days since I logged on to my computer.

But 9 times out of 10, you’ve been up to nothing

Sure you probably were voted the “World’s Sexiest Man” by some magazine (or you came in 2nd place as it seems to be the norm these days- what’s up with that?), and some lucky fan probably ran into you at some bar in Toronto, but that’s not an exciting Rob-weekend to me. I’m ready for something to knock my socks off when I log on to my favorite Rob blogs! I’m tired of your boring weekends- let’s step it up a bit, Rob!

So to be helpful, I’ve compiled a list of a few things you could do that would be much more interesting for me to write to you about rather than you coming in second place in some “sexiest man alive” poll. You could:

  • Get caught coming out of Toronto Baptist church on Sunday morning, confessing you know all the hand-motions to “Lord I lift your name on High”
  • Join a Toronto-based Harry Potter fan group & spend the weekend at a Harry Potter movie marathon with your new friends.
  • Do this. But Hug. And maybe hold up an “I LOVE UC” sign. And ditch the maroon Suits. Or just the suits altogether…

    Kill us all & track down Ryan Gosling (He’s from Canada & Canada isn’t that big….) and pose for a picture together. And maybe hang out for a night. And write some songs. Then record them. And sing them with children. I’ll die. Seriously.

  • Buy a Louis Vuitton dog-carrier for Bear and go “brunching” with Tom Stu
  • Speaking of Tom Stu- why not mix it up & have a bro-fight with him at a bar. Throw a Miller Lite bottle at him.
  • Mr. Choice would like you to be a celebrity guest during shark week. Matthew McConaughey is going to be one this year. And Paul Walker from Fast & Furious did it last year- you have tons in common with those dudes (or you will after you get in a bro-fight with Tom Stu)
  • Shave your head. Say it’s for cancer (But really mean you were too damn hot for all that hair in the summer).
  • Sex tape (no more details necessary)

That should get you started. Doing any of the above next weekend guarantees Moon & I have to write you a successful letter for Monday morning! Looking forward to seeing what you choose!!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Do you feel like Rob has been really boring as of late? Or do you like boring, same-as-always Rob? What ideas do you have for him to “spice up” his life?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

73 Responses to “Ideas for an interesting Rob-weekend (for once…)”

  1. guitargirl says:

    As I mentioned in the last topic, I think he should be caught in a compromising situation with TomStu and Bobby on Clapham Common………(goes off into dreamland……….:) )

    or

    I’d like to see him photographed at some random music festival, a little muddy, high on life or several too many sherberts, and dancing like no-one is watching!

    or photographed whilst perusing the aisles for glitter lube at Ann Summers. LOL!

  2. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Where the hell has Hollywood Life been? Usually they have reporters on the scene whenever he goes out for lunch.

    I’m in a bit of a lunch rut, lately. I only eat what Rob eats and I’m growing tired of cheeseburgers and Cobb salads (plus both have like 800 calories each, I need to spend the other 1/2 of my lunch hour running up hills). And no, I don’t want to eat a Hot Pocket, we have a no-smelly lunch policy in the lunchroom (no fish, no popcorn, no HPs). I need Rob to go out and be caught purchasing gravlax or some ridiculous sushi (like with sausage, cheddar and eggs inside, like a Sushi McMuffin) so I can mix it up on my lunch hour. C’mon Rob. Order a chow mein burrito or very large watermelon-jalapeno margarita. Something weird so when I eat it, I’ll have some insight into your day-to-day life. Start some ridiculous food craze. If anyone can start a ridiculous food craze it is you (and iCarly, and I’d settle for you trying to say you were the one who originally came up with the idea for spaghetti tacos).

  3. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Where the hell has Hollywood Life been? Usually they have reporters on the scene whenever he goes out for lunch.

    I’m in a bit of a lunch rut, lately. I only eat what Rob eats and I’m growing tired of cheeseburgers and Cobb salads (plus both have like 800 calories each, I need to spend the other 1/2 of my lunch hour running up hills). And no, I don’t want to eat a Hot Pocket, we have a no-smelly lunch policy in the lunchroom (no fish, no popcorn, no HPs). I need Rob to go out and be caught purchasing gravlax or some ridiculous sushi (like with sausage, cheddar and eggs inside, like a Sushi McMuffin) so I can mix it up on my lunch hour. C’mon Rob. Order a chow mein burrito or very large watermelon-jalapeno margarita. Something weird so when I eat it, I’ll have some insight into your day-to-day life. Start some ridiculous food craze. If anyone can start a ridiculous food craze it is you (and iCarly, and I’d settle for you trying to say you were the one who originally came up with the idea for spaghetti tacos).

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      I bet he’d love it if you created a s’mores with Hobnobs.

      The Brits don’t know what s’mores are so there is huge potential to impress him with this creation. Sounds like something he’d eat.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Yes, I would very much like to offer to create s’mores with his HobNob. That sounds both perverted and delicious.

        Hmm. Well, I am going camping (i.e. staying in a fully-furnished cabin with plumbing as 2 days without hair washing puts me in a mood no one wants to experience) in a month. There will be s’mores. There are s’mores every year, even if someone has to stand outside with a propane torch. Rob could do something TOTALLY crazy and show up with a pack of HobNobs. Rob: please do show up. Knock twice on the window and I’ll tell DH I need to go outside to investigate a strange noise. I’ll bring the bourbon, we’ll sit by the fire and look for the satellites in the sky. Sounds heavenly.

        • ladyofthemeadow says:

          Hmm, interesting. Next month DH, Thing1 and Thing2 and I are also going “camping” (the 4-star/dishwasher/queen bed cottage type). Just for fun, let’s do this as a double. Tell Rob to bring Ryan Gosling along. They should rap on both our windows. I’ll bring the Hobnobs (we can buy them in Canada), you bring the marshmallows and propane.

          Which leaves only one question: single-malt whiskey or bourbon?

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            Yes to both (both Rob & Ryan, both bourbon and single-malt). Kids can play until the pass out; husbands can bromance, drink beer and piss in the woods; we get to get drunk and blast HobKnobs to cinders with propane torches with Ryan and Rob. Win-win for all.

  4. operarose says:

    While he’s in Canada, he should go over to Montreal for a weekend and be a guest on EpicMealTime. He could make a next-level gigantic hot pocket with bacon and Heineken. It would give you enough fodder to talk about for a year! (or at least a week or two)

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      To be a Moantreal version of EpicMealTime, it would have to be a “Schwartz’s-smoked-meat-on-Fairmont bagel” Hot Pocket.

      And I’d like to see him order that in French. Or do anything in French as a matter of fact.

      • operarose says:

        That would certainly put the moan back in Moantreal (unfortunately, however, not in a good way…more like in a peptol bismol type way).

        • ladyofthemeadow says:

          Moan in Moantreal – LOL!!!!

          Hot Pockets sounds pretty disgusting and hard on the stomach too. If you can get one of those down, I think you’d be able to eat almost anything.

          • roslynselene says:

            I’ve never liked Hotpockets. Then I tried one again last year for Rob’s sake (creepy) and I still couldn’t finish it. Bleh! Rob has terrible taste.

          • pukesten says:

            we all find ourselves doing things we wouldn’t normally do for rob’s sake

  5. robgirl86 says:

    sex tape, the end:)

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      excellent idea;) maybe a self-love sex tape,hmm?

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        I’m alternately grossed out and fascinated by something I heard on last night on Storage Wars. One of the guys offered the following: “Great sex is like poker. Either you have to have a really good partner, or a really good hand.”

        • dazzledtodeath says:

          well, we know Rob has beautiful hands (except for those bad fans who think his hands are creepy and/or too feminine, hmmph) and what better activity to showcase them?

      • melronin says:

        DEAD…DONE….SPEECHLESS!!!

      • roslynselene says:

        Hmmm, didn’t we already get a taste of that? (Dirtaaaay)
        Oh a little warning, it’s a gif of Little Ashes and NO it’s not the tuck.
        http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln9bx6837M1qc4g8vo1_500.gif

        • Mieze says:

          Thanks, Roselyn, the bitchface totally vanishes. In fact all other pictures and functions of my brain are gone as well 😉 And forget the little warning, this might need a hugh: Stay away! 😉

        • pukesten says:

          i can’t take that seriously cos of the drawn on mustache
          this on the other hand, i could look at this face every day, several times a day!!

          http://www.gifbin.com/983048
          sorry that was the best quality gif i could find

          Dear cathycougar, you are the second most important person in the history of twilight outside of SM and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise – p

    • kristen's bestie says:

      This. So long as it is with the girl he is supposedly cheating on SWSNBN with and not the bitchface herself. Or D2D’s idea will work.

    • melronin says:

      Oh great 🙁 now am done for the rest of the afternoon… the whole week actually!
      Omg…..the vision of THAT RG!!!

      @ d2d self-love sexxxxxxxxxxxxx?????? OMGGGGGGGGG

      done!!!!!!!!!

    • Mieze says:

      Sex tape… made me choke on my ice-latte 🙂 Imagined the Stew making the bitchface and shouting at Rob while…nope, we’re not going there …I’m all for the self-love 😉

    • Katycougar says:

      Wow………………………….
      Rob you know UC is right. You are not living up to your fame. You are slipping Dude. We here at LTR are trying to help you out. The people you are hanging out with in Canada are a little boring. Small bars and night clubs just are not your style if you want to stay up there. Don’t give me any excuses. Reese’s speech was for the girls. She said nothing about the boys. I think we could get her support on this one………hopefully.

      So we are ready. I have a PVR, DVR, VCR……….well you name it. I have cameras and…….. Well it is for personal use, you know family and special occasions. Tripods and lighting may be necessary… got that too. How do you feel about whips. I have a really nice leather cat-of-nine-tails. I am sure we can get a good variety of things from the girls here. How about hand cuffs? My last husband was a cop and took them. I miss……….. sorry memories.

      Okay so put the book down.

      http://www.aussietwilightmums.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/rob-pattinson-vanity-fair-photoshoot-12.jpg

      Remember this? I know it was a photo shoot and you were hung over. This is just an example………… Call a few bad boys in Hollywood they will fill you in. I am sure Reese’s Ex will help you out. She has Ryan’s number.

      http://gossip.noiblogger.com/files/2010/02/robert.jpg

      Well then how about this?

      http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/12600000/sexy-rob-robert-pattinson-12668297-528-720.jpg

      Just an example. Obviously a bad photoshop, but you get the idea. I am waiting for your call. We will set things up right away.

  6. Jessica says:

    I want him to film himself riding a roller coaster.
    If he would, that would make me sooooo happy!
    I freaking love roller coasters (almost as much as I love Rob!).

  7. dazzledtodeath says:

    NO head-shaving, please-I would go into mourning for that beautiful head of hair. However if Rob wants to shave anything else and share it with us I am 100% on board.

  8. melronin says:

    Thanks for putting us in THE Rob-sex-mood-mode UC on a Mondayyyyyyyyy-morning-afternoon!!!!

  9. natteringyeahrobber says:

    I think he should put TomStu in a LV carrier (since we already have a photo of that, thanks to the LTT”s talented TeamSeth) and brunch with Bear.

    http://i53.tinypic.com/nwbjfr.jpg

    And have one too many glasses of champagne and decide to have an impromptu musical performance in the park.

    • The Old One says:

      I vote for the impromptu musical performance in the park. Where it’s too hot, and he takes off his shirt.

  10. lola says:

    I think he should get caught having an affair with Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti is like a geriatric, old man version of Kristen Stewart, they are both a bit grumpy. The thought of Paul and Bear frolicking alongside Rob would warm my heart, cause Rob has that ability to bring a smile to even the most crusty of crustyfaces. And bonus pr points for giving “Cosmopolis” some attention while allowing hope to twimoms the world over that Rob is indeed not ageist.

  11. roslynselene says:

    Oh Rob! Make a remake of the Sundrop commercial and put it on youtube. PLEEEEESE!

    Step 1) Wear a neon green tshirt, really short jorts, leggings, and a neon green headband.
    Step 2) Stuff a round pillow inside the backside of your jorts.
    Step 3) Record yourself shaking your ass to Snoop Dogg’s “Drop It Like It’s Hot” in public places (don’t worry about the fangirls. They’ll never guess it’s you.)

  12. maggie says:

    Well, I just read my daily “Robert Pattinson Google Alerts”. I normally just delete them, but given today’s topic I thought I should see what the tabloids think Rob’s been up to. And my, oh my. According to them he’s been quite a busy boy: He’s partying every night – keeping it both low-key and at the same time, getting wildly drunk at bars. He’s been seen hanging out with only other guys but, at the same time he’s also dating on of his Cosmopolis co-stars and also Caitlin Cronenberg and an “unnamed” member of his film crew. When seen out and about, he alternates from looking very happy and fun-loving to appearing to be depressed and moping. He also apparently secretly flew out for a weekend to a party in LA and did or did not see you-know-who (different rags have different versions).

    Whew! He’s wearing me out. And poor Bear must be feeling so neglected. I hope he finds time to put in at least a tad bit of effort on his movie – when he can find the time to show up for filming that is.

    • roslynselene says:

      Those Rob google alerts made me delete my old yahoo account. I think it accumulated to 4,000 unread emails.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Google Alerts are so over. I get all my Rob news on Twitter now. Just learned that:

      1. Rob and Emma W. will be partying with royalty.
      2. Rob went to someplace called Frensham Pond (whatever the hell that is – probably to go fishing with Bear)
      3. Rob might be in LA on July 9th
      4. There was some kind of leak, so Rob could be really upset about that.
      5. Some woman who saw him said his attitude was “sub-par” (probably because he was both hungover & tired from all work and no play, busy getting married and breaking up, taking Bear for a walk in Toronto while having a tryst with some cast member in LA).

    • maggie says:

      Sounds like the Tweeters and the Google Alerters are both hard at work providing us with important, factual coverage. I should get off the Google alerts as 1) I just click “delete” every morning on the email because 2) I’ve yet to learn anything useful (or true) from them. I do occasionally read the comments, and I must say there are way too many, lame, not-so-bright and scary people in this fandom. We should take up a collection and send Dean a bonus for the important work he does protecting that beautiful boy’s beautiful ass.

    • robgirl86 says:

      the problem with the RP-google alert seems to be that as soon as you type “Ro…. ” , you’ll get 28718278782791729 bazillion RP-alerts (not that i ever tried, i just heard of it:) )

  13. I've been Robbed says:

    I want to see him helping a female, could be his sister, a friend or even the grumpy k-stew, with some girly chore, like picking out perfume, shopping for lingerie, or doing some kind of baking, like pastries. Not much for news, but for some reason I would love it! Okay, I’d love to see him doing just about anything… I confess.

    • pukesten says:

      it’s so funny the two extremes of what people would like to see rob doing. you want to see him be nice to the ladies in his life, the rest of us want to watch him with palm and her five sisters.

      you must be new!

      • dazzledtodeath says:

        Hilarious!! And of course true.

      • The Old One says:

        You mean Rosie Palm, the one and only?

      • I've been Robbed says:

        Yes, men doing things out of their box like shopping or cooking, probably while being sweet and adorkable, is very sexy. Of course the alleged news of Rob’s nakedness is a good wish too. My favorite thing though, are his movie kisses, where he takes a little breath in before he goes for it…. that is hot.

  14. pukesten says:

    poor rob does the boy even get time to eat and sleep creating all that news. i have a RL twitter and a special pukesten twitter for just rob/twilgiht/fanfic
    totally normal for a 27 year old female.

    • pukesten says:

      twitter just told me garrett hudland is dating leighton meister. can you hear the collective robsten sigh of relief?

  15. pukesten says:

    my favourites are points 4 and 5 i would love if they happened and in that order, the only other brilliant thing rob could do on a weekend is organise an nsync reunion and then his work would be done

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le6k68Qx6DE

    • pukesten says:

      whilst avoiding study and looking for the above link i started watchin JT/nsync inverview and found this
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFK5VF0eZcU&feature=related

      the things we’ve learned since then!!!
      reese developed a sense of humour with age as well as cheekbones
      britney – she wasn’t no virgin
      and lance can now get married in NY

      i also love the VHS quality sound and squigly lines ah the ninties
      i also do realise that i’m talking to myself at this hour of the day
      dear pukesten your normal.

  16. Rob's Flaming Dashboard says:

    Hey people. Anybody else having trouble with Robssessedpattinson.com?

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      do you mean problems accessing the site, design issues (need a site that looks more work related, personally) or mental problems (cannot stop looking at it all the time)?

    • maggie says:

      My only problem with Robsessed is the mental ones that Nat referred to: I can’t stop looking there 10 times a day. If you go there now, for example, there’s a story that they got from a “somewhat” reliable source talking about Rob shooting naked for 12 hours yesterday on the Cosmopolis set. True or not, the very idea of that has done me in for the day. Finito. Nothing can possibly top the images that are now flitting about in my dirty little brain…………..

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        12 hours of naked Rob. I’d be happy with 12 minutes, thanks! And, if he’s pressed for time, 12 seconds.

        Dead. 12 hours?

  17. Jessica says:

    Just looked at the Cosmopolis set pics on Robsessed.
    I love the ones with the pie on Rob’s face! LoL!
    And also the ones where he’s rehearsing in red pants…yummy…!

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