RobPorn Videos PLUS Sugarlumps

cue porn-seekers coming across LTR because of that title

Zeph leads us in admiration today:

Dear Rob,

It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me. I haven’t forgotten about you, it’s just that RL has been taking away all my time. Well that and the fact that you really haven’t been giving us too much lately. No photo shoots. No adorakable interviews. No crazy US Magazine rumors. No 3am beer runs or In and Out drive thrus . No buddy road trips. Just a few fan shots on the Cosmopolis set. It’s just not enough to pull me in for hours at a time. Tonight though I revisited one of my favorite past times.

Yes, I went RobPorn hunting.

Took me a bit but I navigated my way through the bajillion RobPorn videos on youtube and with the help of PinkPixieChick I found all my old favorites:


Why? Why did I ever take a break from this? At least I know you’re always there when I come to my senses.

Taking my breath away once again,


After the jump, Moon & I get Roblosophical about something that isn’t Roblosophical at all:

UC: i made a video for you

Moon: WOAH
Moon: robs sugar lumps
Moon: and then a clip of him getting his junk washed??
UC: creepo
Moon: should i feel awkward when it zooms in on his crotch??
UC: yes. Probably
Moon: cause i dont.. i think ive been desensitized from all these yrs of twi blogging….
Moon: you cant unsee this stuff
Moon: dude him in the hoodie in twilight. SO hot
Moon: ok i feel awkward when i see his heather gray UNDERWEARS

Moon: so what are they saying is his sugar lumps? his balls his penis (singlular?) his butt checks?
Moon: his chesticles?
UC: i mean… can we call a guy’s things lumps?
Moon: maybe he carries around a VAMP in his pants next to his real peen
UC: that’s more a girl thing right?
Moon: so he really does have 2??
UC: you’re right…. it’s very odd to say “lumps” and then zoom on what you hope he only has ONE of
UC: unless we’re talking balls
UC: and… i dunno… most girls I know aren’t into the balls
Moon: i mean Fergie sang my lumps my lovely lady humps… but maybe she was meaning robs butt all along? he does have a pretty lady face
UC: that’s true. I feel like this is quite possible. That this song was about Rob all along….
UC: you’re on to something
UC: Do you think he gets royalties?
UC: did they get his permission?
UC: Did they ask Claire & Dick? That’s what I’m really concerned about… They MADE him after all
Moon: yea you’re right no one’s talking about balls when they talk about a dude. you just want them to be normal not noticeable enough that they require their own song
UC: I mean… I wouldn’t mind a song about balls
UC: maybe it would change my feeling about them… they’d become interesting… sexy even…
Moon: no one wants cisco adler’s balls. I DARE YOU ALL TO GOOGLE THIS

Moon: i assume we’re breaking this down 🙂
UC: yes… well I was just gonna throw it at the end of an LTR… since this was a related video!
UC: and is how i came across it… b/c generally I don’t go searching for video’s about Rob’s nether regions
UC: what if we weren’t breaking it down? and were just having a lively chat about Rob’s balls?
UC: Would THAT be normal?
Moon: YES
Moon: we’ve had real conversations about everything else
Moon: i mean we spent 10 minutes the other night acting like rob and Debbert/a pattinson mom for NO REASON
Moon: other than the sheer thrill of it
Moon: this is WHO WE ARE NOW UC
Moon: i call you UC now as well
UC: you’re right. there was no point to our discussion. we did not post about it. we did not share it with anyone else. it was for us. our own personal role play
Moon: this is OUR LIFE
Moon: embrace it
Moon: we didn’t even decide a safe word beforehand… we trust each other that much because this is OUR NORMAL NOW
UC: That’s normal

I love Moon. I love videos of Rob. Except the one’s about his nether reasons. Unless I can talk to Moon immediately afterwards.


Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

37 Responses to “RobPorn Videos PLUS Sugarlumps”

  1. GMB says:

    You ladies always make me laugh! 🙂 Thx

    what movie is the guy on guy action from???

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Incidentally, since Rob-in-the-bath is from The Haunted Airman, let me mention that I just finished reading the book behind this film, by Dennis Wheatley, in the vain hope of understanding what the film was about, but it turns out the only thing they used from the book was the fact that Rob is a semi-paralysed airman and some spiders. Period. If someone ever decodes the plot of HA, please tell me…

  2. FastForward says:

    Guy on guy would be the Dali Movie.
    Zephyersky, don’t do this to me … too late … fallen again. Everytime I thing this really cooled down some of you brings something like this up, and here we go again …
    Thanks 😉

  3. Just telling you now….I’M NOT GOOGLING IT!!! I have been scarred for life here multiple times and I just can’t do it any more. Enough is enough. Okay, probably I when I get home from work I’ll do it…but I’m blaming all you all for my new scar!

    • kristen's bestie says:

      Something in the back of my mind is telling me that I’ve seen this, however, I’m with you on “not gonna do it” because I too have been scarred by things I learned on LTR. Things have been burned into my brain, that I would rather not be there. I know you know what I mean.

      I love this video (except for all the awkward zooms in on his crotch), there is lots of 2008 Rob in there. I’m now lumping RomeRob, MexicoRob and SexDriveRob all into 2008Rob.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Wear your scars proudly RFM!

      Wait, did anyone ever hear about some fan getting Bella’s vampire bite scar as a tattoo? That would be weird. On the other hand it would be just as weird having “Robert Pattinson bit me” tattooed on your neck. (Ever think about that, Tyra Banks??)

      Okay, so now I am thinking that if I somehow got hold of Rob’s dental records I might actually have his bite mark tattooed somewhere on my body – now I KNOW I have to go take my medicine and lie down for a bit. LTR, the things you do to my brain…*shaking head sadly*

    • Just letting you know, I still haven’t googled it. Don’t think it’s gonna happen this time. Whew, saved from the peer pressure of being the only one not knowing. It’s not worth it!

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        I haven’t either. I’m with you. After the snail (or whatever that thing was called), I’m not googling anything mentioned here ever again.

  4. MariaCecilia says:

    Ooooo, this brings me back to the summer of 2009 you guys, when I I think I saw Rob-porn for the first time! Nostalgia! I feel that I have subconsciously missed seeing this video now that I see it again. *sigh*

    Thank you for making my day, and saving me the time so I don’t have to surf the Internet – I can just go straight to La Push beach (or whichever beach is closest..)and fall of my surf board thinking about Rob’s jawline. Weeeee!

  5. MariaCecilia says:

    Oh, by the way UC and Moon, “Sugar lumps” can be your new safe word now…
    (Watch out everyone, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride..) That’s what she said.

  6. maggie` says:

    LMFAO! This is definitely the funniet place on earth! Unfortunately, I can’t watch the “visuals” until I get home tonight as I’m trying to rein myself in here at work, but I can’t wait.

    Sugar Lumps. I love it. A new term for the LTR RobDicktionary.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I wish I could watch this stuff at work – then at least I’d be receiving some indirect form of compensation.

      I don’t know, about 95%* of Rob Youtube videos don’t do anything except make me feel shameful about my Rob crush. My husband could easily point to any of them and say “THIS is what you spend your time on??? THIS?” Actually, I ask myself that same question all the time now, so he doesn’t even bother anymore.

      *the other 5% seem to get yanked off of YouTube by the time I hear about them.

      • maggie` says:

        Nat: Watch the video that Katycougar posted. That may help. (I was able to sneak a look on my blackberry)

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Thanks! Watched and it only made me feel 35% sleazy. That’s good. 35% I can live with. 🙂

  7. roslynselene says:

    I had to watch Sugar Lumps with one hand semi-covering my eyes. I laughed hysterically when Rob said “I’ve got an erection” and when the sponge bath scene came up and the lyrics to this song. I can’t see/hear this stuff without 2nd hand embarrassment! I just cant!

    Oh and sugar lumps, I’m guessing are balls? I mean, the chick who made this kept zooming in on them and the creeper singing this song said, “they look so good that’s why I keep ’em in the front”. O.o Idk about you guys, but if his balls are visible through his pants, he has a problem.

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      So THAT’S what he says? I can view the videos at work but I turned the sound right down to almost inaudible, in case someone was listening. Glad I didn’t inadvertently broadcast Rob’s report on the state of his peen to the whole office.

  8. Mieze says:

    Oh my, I miss the old times…

  9. Katycougar says:


    UC and Moon I am speechless…………………… I just can’t wipe the smile off my face.

    RobPorn always the best isn’t it? Oh the many reasons for it.

    1. Something to wake up to.
    2. With your breakfast.
    3. When you are having a bad day.
    4. How about with lunch instead of a book.
    5. Husband is being an Ass
    6. Before dinner pick me up.
    7. After dinner pick me up with wine of course.
    8. Kids are driving you crazy.
    9. Husband is still being an Ass.
    10. Reward for putting the kids to bed.
    11. Before bedtime so you can go to bed with your Ass husband.
    12. With your bedtime snack or maybe this is your bedtime snack.
    13. In bed with said Ass husband. Show him what turns you on. (WARNING: I don’t recommend this if you plan on staying married for any length of time.)
    14. Can’t sleep……………yeah it may not help. Be prepared to spend all night with Rob. Not so bad really.

    Now you and I know that if you do the last thing you are on an addictive cycle that will only leads you back to your computer where you have all these saved to your favorites. I suggest that you make sure these are kept organized by either body part or date or possibly ratings, yours of course. I like this because it will allow you to get to the Porn quicker. That is an essential element if you are addicted. Examples are: Hair, eyes, lip, jaw, fingers, crotch………….. You get my drift. The choices are endless.

    We start here. Now enjoy girls.

  10. maggie` says:

    kc – I love you. What a great post.

    My daughter is grown, so I have to eliminate #8 and #10. She can still drive me crazy, so I’ll reinstate #8. Re #13 – haven’t tried that yet. I don’t think the reaction would be too favorable. Other than that , you’ve just outline a typical day in my life. OK, you’ve just outlined EVERY day in my life. Even #14 – many, many, many times.

    I’d also add that Robporn can:

    – relieve boredom when you have nothing to do.
    – relieve stress when you are overloaded with too many things to do.
    – help get you through a tedious workday. Try not to go to the porn more than once every 5 minutes (as I do) for fear of early job termination.

    When you get to the point that you are unable to end a day without adding at least a dozen pics and/or videos to your burgeoning porn collection, it’s time to call in professional help. Either that, or go to LTR where you will be reassured that you are totally normal.

    And also ….fabulous smexy video!!!

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      I’ll wager it helps you lose weight. How? It distracts you from snacking (on food I mean; Rob-video binges are calorie-free thankfully). It raises your heart rate and therefore your metabolism.

      One video has got to work off food that’s worth at least a point on Weight Watchers.

  11. roslynselene says:

    I found a video in the suggestion box on YT after watching Katycougar’s video (nauuuuughty song, there).
    Here it is:

    I think this one’s less embarrassing than sugar lumps and I actually like all the pictures being used, how they move, the color, and the song. But there are still some silly parts that made me go “wtf?”. Like when there’s a hand moving near Rob’s crotch. LOL And a part in the song that says “Love is moving ‘cross the floor, children waitin’ to be born.” Bhaha! Children is the last thing I want to be thinking about when watching Rob.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Where were you during sex education in school? The general surgeon informs you that “Watching Rob porn is directly linked to activating your ovaries and may result in an unwanted pregnancy”. Consider yourself officially warned…

      • Katycougar says:

        This is safe sex. I do believe this could “Explode yiour ovaries” though, as a fan once informed us.
        Maybe we need a warning label.

        Warning: Surgeon General has found these videos are necessary for your survival. It is advised that you please use caution when viewing. They can become very addictive. Signs to look out for:

        1. Falling asleep at work due to lack of sleep from spending it with Rob.

        2. Decrease in productivity at work due to using your work computer to watch RobPorn.

        3. Accidently sending a Video link of RobPorn to the entire staff and also CC-ing it to corporate. End results can not be determined due to each individualds circumstances.

        4. Can lead to divorce and alienation of family. In that case it is recommended that you adopt a new family.

        Taken in the right doses this can only contribute to your well being.

      • roslynselene says:

        I guess I’ll never know what I missed that first day in health class…
        Teacher: “Don’t look at Robporn, cause you will get pregnant AND die. Don’t look at it sitting down, don’t look at it standing up…just don’t do it. Promise?”

    • maggie` says:

      Good catch Ros. Hot, hot video.

      I may have just gotten knocked up. 🙂

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      Ooooh, I love the black and white “Rob in a suit” footage. Why, oh why aren’t there guys at work who look like that? It would make meetings so much more interesting. I’m just gearing up for a 2 hour meeting this afternoon with a senior consultant and a preggo lady. Not the same fun factor as Rob in a suit.

    • Katycougar says:

      Oh my…………….. This has been added to my organized RobPorn. We have a new file name. I like Possession. You are awesome………….

    • Katycougar says:

      Okay you little RobPorn Vixen. This is now in a file entitled Possession. I like that. You have done well.
      ♪☺♥ ♪☺♥ ♪☺♥ ♪☺♥

      • roslynselene says:

        Ha! Does this mean I passed Robporn class? Even though I clearly failed Robporn Sex Ed. ?

        • Katycougar says:

          You were head of the class. Your certificate is in the mail. You will also be issued a special card to carry in your wallet. Both will arrive in an invisible envelope so as not to upset your family.

  12. Here’s my question: If you’re going to make a video of Rob’s crotch why are you not using any BI pics?

    Really, cause at least it would give us something to look at!

    PS- I tried looking for the “Peacock” vid but couldn’t find the original one I liked. And I did mention this vid/song at work today. That’s what happens when your theme is Zoo and you find a peacock pattern. Rob’s peacock is the first thing to come to mind!

  13. Southernbelle says:

    Btw I haven’t been here in a while but I still love Rob and definitely haven’t forgotten him *giggles.*

    The first one is my absolute favorite Robporn video! Thanks for posting this again!

    I remember watching that Sex on Fire video of him and working out to it LOL.

  14. his lovely sugar humps… check it.

    wow we really talked about this. clearly, NOTHING is off limits any more

    • Katycougar says:

      Moon you have made sure there are no limits. You are a Goddess in my book.

    • roslynselene says:

      I googled cisco adlers balls cause I’m a stupid bitch. I’m now informing you I’m blind jghacjajfhadjl;’asdfgasin fjiuwkehfiohn ASDDFBFIS CVI;Bnhdsjkbfurhowoiththonbhibv89whpiogn

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      I think we’ve handled this delicate subject quite tastefully (twss) (am I sounding too defensive??!!)

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