Rob Pattinson: Famewhore
Warning: Sarcasm full steam ahead. After a week of not knowing how to address ‘the video,’ this letter felt appropriate:
Stop being such a fame hog.
There, I said it. I laid down the oh so ugly truth. I mean the way you prance about just begging for the paparazzi to descend onto you is so transparent. Everyone knows that you only go grocery shopping with your buddy with the wedgie so your picture can be taken. I even heard that you have one of those corkboards with all of your Just Jared Jr. pictures tacked to them. (I just totally made this up because it made me lol) Too bad the days of Tiger Beat are long past us, you might have a nice 11 x 17 poster to hang with it. Your desperation for attention is so…reality tv star of you, and to be honest you’re embarrassing yourself.
Your latest yearning for your name to be published on questionable celebrity blog sites around the inter-webs is just plain pathetic. Your buddy Marcus Foster decided he was going to make the big plunge. The big “translation of music into visual poetry so you can now have your own VEVO channel” plunge with the help of another one of your mates. Now, any good friend aware of their own panty dropping abilities would act as an anonymous donor to the great cause of middle class British emotional plight and just front the money for the project. God knows you have enough. But no, Rob the fame whore in you was just begging and pleading to be released, so you did the next best thing and unleashed…ROBSTEN!
Now, there are more likes of the video than actual views on YouTube and the comments have quickly morphed from along the lines of “Who the f— is this dude?” to “OMG!!! LONG LIVE ROBSTEN!! TOTES ADORE THAT ROB WROTE THIS SONG FOR KRISTEN! MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING!”
So, Rob I think you owe an apology to your friends Marcus and Sam. All they wanted to do was produce black and white art to make it look more melodramatic. Shame on you and your inner fame whore Rob. Maybe we should exile you to a deserted island with Kris Jenner (Kardashian) and see how long you survive without a camera in your face or some variation of your name plastered over the Internet?
(You do know this was one giant piece of sarcasm, right? I don’t want any Rob fans coming to tar and feather me Boston Tea Party style.)
Check out the video and be a judge for yourself. But, I give you a challenge all LTR readers: Can you comment on the video without alluding to Rob?
Sadly, itsaboutthewords, I have a feeling if you didn’t mention it, then some WOULD have missed the sarcastic bit.. there’s always one these days! And I appreciated your subtle way of shaming us fans into NOT making everything about Rob. Cause, to be honest, when I learned Kristen was in a Marcus Foster video I immediately thought “aww.. Rob is helping a friend out & getting him some video views” (because apparently I’m suddenly into male chauvinism & don’t think Kristen can make decisions for herself) And the video has nothing to do with Rob. I repeat, the video has nothing to do with Rob! But that didn’t keep me from commenting along with all the ROBSTEN lovers on the video, about ROBSTEN (I can’t resist that opportunity, ever) What IS that? Are we so desperate to have anything of substance of Rob that we’ll take him when his friend is picking a wedgie, his girlfriend is in a music video or anything else that has little-or-nothing to do with him!? DISCUSS! xo, UC