Rob Buys Furniture – Is now officially an adult

Dear Rob,

OMG You went out and did something quasi interesting and got caught doing it so now I have something to sorta write about! Congrats. To me. What is it you did exactly? Well, (drum roll please) you went out and bought some furniture! Ok, more so home accessories but we’ll take what we can get and we will LIKE it.

So you went to this place called T.I.N.I. aka This Is Not Ikea. LOLZ AND Furniture, go you! So anyway this places is essentially a store made up of stuff you could come get out of my garage for free.

Case in point this lamp you bought:

This lamp is 85 bucks. I’m pretty sure I would pay YOU in free beer to come take this out of my garage or you could find it out back in the dumpster that’s clogging up the alley way next to the homeless guy who will make you an amazing deal on “vintage” clothing. Aka his shirt and pants. Cause you’re into that look.

The store also contains weird shit you’d see on Regretsy, like this lamp. Cause you wouldn’t want a decapitated giraffe as your light source? Only 115 dollars and you too could curl up next to a headless giraffe and read that tattered copy of National Geographic from 1972 you picked up near the T.I.N.I register. Buuuut you didn’t go with the Giraffe lamp you went with this gem…

Yup, this elbow bar from Home Depot and left over light from the set of Harry Potter is now yours for 385 and placed next to this stool from Heidi’s milk maid barn it’s a real steal at 60 clams…

Ok, so I totally dogged on everything you bought because where’s the fun in being nice and saying good job on being an adult? That’s right, there is none. I would actually like to see how you’re putting this in your new home and how this is all gonna work out, cause it could look pretty cool if done right. So yea, invite me over. I’ll keep my silent judgments to myself, I swear. And I’ll bring you a lamp/coffee table/coat rack/broken desk chair from my garage as a house warming gift.

Adults forever,

PS T.I.N.I., I’m pretty sure this IS Ikea… just sayin. And I actually want to visit your store.

So what do we all REALLY think of Rob’s purchases? What’s your fave furniture store and/or look? Are we all super sad that Rob didn’t publicly buy plaid curtains and a plaid couch like the “Palatial Pad” has??? Sad Panda!

Source: EOnline

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35 Responses to “Rob Buys Furniture – Is now officially an adult”

  1. The Old One says:

    Are we truly surprised that Rob’s taste in home furnishings is the same as his taste in clothes?

    This subject is something I’ve wondered for a long time, interiors being my business, how would Rob decorate? Would he just allow some LA designer to do whatever they wanted because he has no opinion about it, would it be like Claire’s living room that we saw in that Christmas photo (stuffy upper middle class English), would it be ultra LA midcentury modern? I should have guessed hobo chic! To remind him fondly of his happy days in the cheap flat above the restaurant shared with TomStu (before he became StuBacca). I bet it looks a lot like the flat in Remember Me.

    • JellyBeanRainbow says:

      Dear Rob, we might have another deal breaker. I wanna see your house now too, but am certain I won’t like it.
      And just so you know, there’s nothing wrong with Scandinavian design and/or Ikea.
      You’ll see my home warming present, I have a spare Aalto ashtray thinghy, perfect for you, you’ll love it!
      Love , still, Me

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      You know, I’ve never really thought about Rob’s house or the interior of his house. Mostly because when I think about Rob, he’s in a rented villa with me, or a coastal bungalow hide-out, or in a well-appointed cabin in the woods. Or a hotel room near my office, or underneath my desk or in an emergency stairway.

      But now that I think of it, I do picture his home as his. I’m OK with most every kind of decor, as long as there is no food on the floor or ash trays smell. I’m a bit worried about the latter. Also, I have a thing against money in/on beds. I would hope he’s not the type who has pennies all over his bedspread and spare nickels under the covers. That would disgust me. But the gyno lamp and ex-elementary school art table are just fine with me.

      • The Old One says:

        “as long as there is no food on the floor or ash trays smell” –sadly, these are probably the major design elements in Rob’s lair. But hey! Now he’s also got some lamps and a bench!

      • Katycougar says:

        Rob bought you a desklamp. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh
        Not that you plan on using it.

        As for the money Nat. I agree on the pennies and the loose change, although I am wondering what the hell they would be doing in bed. i assume that paper money is acceptable.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      p.s. +9999 for StuBacca, TOO. 🙂

  2. s.kay says:

    wow, you can buy a dirty old trash can for $95! People really buy that stuff for those prices??? Really? You can find most of that stuff at yard sells on any given weekend. The store surprises me, but not that Rob shopped there, LOL

    • LadyN says:

      “The store surprises me, but not that Rob shopped there”

      That is pretty much a “I know, right?!” statement!
      hahaha very true.

  3. LadyN says:

    I’m sorry but 500 bucks plus on THOSE three items?

    THat is CLEARLY not ikea. :-/ I think you were jipped Rob Rob. You couldn’ve bought a whole living room and 5 bags of Swedish meatballs at ikea that are fawesome for THAT amount of cash.

    you looked good doing it though!

    • The Old One says:

      Maybe Rob doesn’t know about IKEA? If he knew about the meatballs, for sure he’d totally be there! Although I can’t see him figuring out the funny little diagrams to put everything together once he got it home. There would be a pile of oddly shaped lumber and bolts in the middle of the floor for KStew to deal with.

      • The Old One says:

        Please clarify:

        Thumbs down because you think Rob would be really good at putting together Swedish furniture?

        Thumbs down because you LIKE KStew and don’t want her to have to deal with Rob’s mess?

        Thumbs down because you DON’T LIKE KStew and don’t want her having anything to do with Rob, let alone his furniture?

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        Rob would love IKEA. There’s one in London (Wembley). You can even get your face painted on the weekend. Right up Rob’s alley I’m sure. And I’m sure they have an awesome dumpster out back.

      • Katycougar says:

        You know you just want to see Rob holding a Cordless drill, even if he has no idea what to do with it.

        You could go to Rob’s and help him out. Either with a drill or explain to him all he needs is a Phillips Head Screw Driver.
        Maybe it’s best if you just put it together.

        • I think Rob would be happy to know that most Ikea furniture is put together with an Allen Wrench. Which comes with your purchase, so no extra stops to the hardware store!!

          Yep, I have put together many an Ikea furinture in my time!

          • MariaCecilia says:

            Don’t tell him the sad part though: that half the time you end up sitting on the floor with too few, too many or the wrong kind of screws, and have to go back to the store to rectify the matter..”IKEA quality” is an ironic brand comment to many of us who grew up with the stuff. (but then, Rob would probably shrug his shoulders and go out for a beer, figuring he could live with a lopsided Billy bookshelf)

  4. maggie says:

    I’m looking at this store’s website. Very cool place, Rob. I’m impressed. But I’m seeing a lot of interesting items that I can totally see you buying. For instance, there’s these cool bulldog bookends:

    Look at this: vintage art about your favorite company:

    And here’s the lamp you should have bought – a WFE nostalgia piece:

    • Katycougar says:

      Maggie these items are priceless. Rob will be so diappointed that he did not purchase these. I have a feeling that he will be back and hopefully he read your letter.

      All of these are so practicle.

      He needs the bookends for his vast book collection and these will be a great conversation piece as well.

      He cannot leave his walls bare and what a masterpiece this is. A celeb needs a Andy Warhol.

      The Giraffe lamp………… there are no words. Rob buy this. I can picture this on your nightstand. Every night when you go to bed you will be reminded of good times.

  5. natteringyeahrobber says:

    1. I sort of like the gothic meets Art Deco lamp in the first photo. I mean, it could be Rob is going for a Deco-Steampunk look (because just Steampunk is so 2010).

    2. The second lamp. Maybe Rob is going back to school to become a gynecologist (OH PLEASE – I might actuallywant to go to appointments maybe). OK, so he’s going for Deco-Steampunk-Gyno office.

    3. I hate it. Sorry, Rob. I like green, and I like real wood, but that third item needs a lot of work. Like a weekend of refinishing and repainting. I am up for it, though, Rob. I’ve never refinished or repainted, but I’m willing to give it a shot, as long as you are there.

    In summary, I’ve diagnosed his style as Deco-Steampunk-Art School Furniture Dumpster Diver-Gyno office.

    Which is fine with me.

    • maggie says:

      Oh yes, Rob, please. Decorate at least one room as a gyno office. It can overlook the gardens and have soft music playing in the background. (nat – what was the music you mentioned a while back that was like audio sex? – That’s what I’m picturing). I think you’d be much more financially successful in that little room with the long line of patients that you’d have, than in the movies.

    • Katycougar says:

      That’s it………………….

      Deco-Steampunk-Art School Furniture Dumpster Diver-Gyno office.

      Someone call “Better Home and Gardens.” You could make a fortune on this. I can see this being the new style of all the Hollywood trendsetters.

      I can’t wait to see the young stars all dressed in “Trucker Gear” drinking shots at an “open house” at Rob’s. He liked the Two Jimmy’s party so well he has one of his own.

      It will be dark and smoky with an In-N-Out truck catering food.
      Let’s crash the party and welcome Rob to the neighborhood.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Sounds like a plan. Let’s class it up and bring good wine (we need to look after ourselves after all) and I’ll bring the Deco-Steampunk-gyno lounge music (for Rob seduction purposes).

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          And when we get there…the hipsters won’t know what hit them.

        • Katycougar says:

          Hipsters turn into Dipsters around us.

          We will dazzle them with our sophistication. After the music and a few bottles of good wine Rob will see the light and it won’t be coming from those crazy lamps either.

          Yeah Nat we Rock…………

  6. Katycougar says:

    I have the strangest feeling that Rob brought his New Decorator Sergio with him. You know Sergio’s Interiors. The only problem is that the interior he was talking about was cars. He does car seat upholstery. To Rob like most men there is no difference. Hey it could happen.

    There also is a possibility that he is doing renovations for Rob on his New Pad. Rob may have bought one of these Foreclosures really cheap, for cash. The only problem is he has no kitchen or a toilet. When Rob went to Home Depot he found Sergio waiting in the Parking Lot offering his services.

    I bet Rob could see all the possibilities of making it his own. Let’s not forget Bear here. Don’t worry Sergio to the rescue.

    Oh the parties they will have.

  7. Katycougar says:

    I don’t know about you Ladies, but my husband would be all over this.

    He has his studio or “Man Cave” that he has been allowed to furnish. I swear he has an exact replica of that tall lamp. I keep the door closed for my own sanity. He is not allowed to furnish our home. We have a verbal agreement on this.

    I also frequent yard sales and Salvation Army. I could see the table but I would have to white wash it. That is way too rustic for me.

  8. 40sumthin says:

    YUK!!! Enough said.

  9. fayted17 says:

    I love that the “Random Things” category on that site is one of the biggest. He needs a few funky old ashtrays to go with those rare finds, so nobody get ash or burn marks on his new shit (like anyone would notice). This one or this one would coordinate nicely.

    I think we should turn this thread into “things that I would buy for Rob’s house”. Personally I would go with this “free, take one box”, or this vintage gumball machine and fill it with something disturbing, like glass eyes, or plastic fetuses or Renesme action figures.

  10. MariaCecilia says:

    I think it’s adorable that Rob is finally getting his own place and will stop living with his mom when he’s in London and in stupid hotels when he’s in LA! I am a bit concerned though: knowing the size of houses in England and the US both, at the rate he’s going it will take him years to fill the place? Does he even have a bed or does he plan to sleep on a mattress on the floor and build a castle of empty boxes around it to make it cosier?
    Come with me to IKEA, Rob! We’ll shop everything you need in an hour, and I’ll even colour-coordinate your towels and napkins, and help you screw everything together..or maybe just screw..*blushing* (I didn’t just write that!)

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