The one where we imagine what Rob is actually doing

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Dear Rob,

Moon & I got to talking about you today, as we often do, and the question was posed, as it always is, “Has Rob been doing anything recently?” All it took was one hop over to Robsessed, one check of our texts to see if they had blown up, or to see what was trending on Twitter to figure out that you’ve been doing… nothing. Well, at least nothing publically.

That got us talking about what you’re doing privately. Well, the PG rated stuff:

UC: What do YOU think Rob has been doing lately out of the spotlight?
Moon: I think Rob’s been taking a home brewing class and has been holed up trying to perfect his heinieken knock off recipe he’s called drunk off my heine

UC: Rob, tired from always hanging out with the same 3 guys (and 1 girl) decided to branch out in the friendship department and hang out with all those new vamps from breaking Dawn. No one knows who they are, so he just blends into obscurity with them… They’ve been EVERYWHERE: world series games, Hollywood clubs, but you’d never even know. He’s discovered that to fit in, all he has to do is hang out with a group of guys no one cares about

Moon: I bet he’s been having a marathon of walking dead to catch up since the 2nd season just started. he figured he’s played other dead/living things he might as well see what the zombie craze is about

UC: Or inspired by that one time Kristen made a pie, Rob has taken up baking & cooking & has been perfecting his cooking style for his new cooking show on the Food Network “Hobo Home Cookin'”


Moon: Or he hits the rails to learn what bein a hobo is really about. he gets off at the first stop after getting in a knife fight with a crotchedy old hobo named bones mcjones

UC: Thoroughly annoyed that Summit didn’t put him on the soundtrack, Rob’s been ferociously writing & recording songs for his album that drops November 8th, 2011 (the Same day as the BD Soundtrack)
Moon: called “my album is better than yours,” but when rob says it, it sounds my “mah bums get n yous”
UC: Also a title contender or “Let’s see which album gets to #1 first”
Moon: he then promises to make out when any one who will buy 50 of his albums to ensure it hits #1
Moon: it goes on to become the best selling album in the world. ever.
Moon: thanks to US
UC: Sorry Garth. And Tay Swift.

Moon: Or maybe Rob’s been working part time at norm’s rare vintage guitars. He likes the 10% discont

Hot Pocket FortUC: I bet Rob took the Hot Pocket fort to a whole new level and make a hot pocket castle. And fell into the moat (it’s made from cheese) and has had trouble getting out


Moon: inspired by the popularity of Emily Posts, Tuesday’s with Morey, Shit my Dad Says and Jimmy Fallon’s Thank You Notes Rob creates a book out of all the emails Dick sends him. called “Stuff Dick Emails Me”

UC: so overjoyed and filled with love after his recent adoption of “Bear,” Rob decided to foster a dog. and then another and another and another. Pretty soon his house is starting to resemble 101 Dalmatians. So.. he buys a (Fake) Dalmatian coat and decides he’ll continuing fostering until he actually has 101 dogs (Dalmatians aren’t necessary)
Moon: the smell isn’t much different than when rob doesn’t do laundry for a week or 2 Plus he even researching male lactation to see if he can nurse the puppies to save a few bucks and foster bonding

So, Rob, are we right? Have you done ANY of the above?

UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

What do you think Rob has been doing with his free time lately!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

32 Responses to “The one where we imagine what Rob is actually doing”

  1. roslynselene says:

    After his fame, I think Rob is gonna be a homeless dalmatian hoarder who feeds them scraps of his leftover hotpockets and lives in a hotpocket fort with Bones McJones. Rob’s new name will be Scrapes McPattycakes.

    P.S. I was chatting with a new friend and the conversation of dogs came up. Get this: his childhood dog was named Bear. I giggled and tried not to burst out laughing.

  2. natteringyeahrobber says:

    See, this is exactly the reason why Rob needs to get on Twitter. Not that he’d actually tell us anything on Twitter. No, he’d be one of those annoying celebs who tweets maybe twice a month, and those tweets would be stupid/pointless (like “sun’s up, feeling fine!” or conversely “raining, sadness”). BUT. I’ve learned that you learn about celebs not by what they tweet, but what others are tweeting them. Don’t look at their feed, search their name and see what others are writing. All these great gems. Like “whoa, guess we had too much tequila last night” (insert photo of celeb + some random woman tarred in strawberry jam and feathered with mini marshmallows). THAT is how you find out what celebs really do with their free time.

    I’m always tempted to fake tweet celebs with photoshopped photos of me and them, with similar comments. Only I’m Photoshop illiterate. I can only do bad MSPaint jobs. Still, maybe I’ll try.

    For the record, I still think Rob is in a motel in Tempe, Arizona, playing an old game of Battleship he scored on ebay with TomStu. Cheetos all over the floor, beer cans overflowing in the trash. I could be the fake maid, tweeting images of this all over Twitter, if only I knew Photoshop.

  3. enviro says:

    I love the idea of him spending a lot of time writing music.

    Sorry nonsteners but . . . is Kristen still filming Snow WHite or whatever? Because if so, he’s probably hanging out there — but either way, he’s a 25 y.o. man, I’m guessing he’s spending a lot of time . . .

  4. Blondieinco says:

    Count me in as somene who would actually buy the book “Stuff Dick Emails Me” – ’cause that’s normal.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Since I’ve heard that guys actually talk (?) to their sexual organs, I would love to read the book (by Rob) entitled “Stuff I e-mail to my dick.”

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Dear Bro Down Below!

        Been thinking about your role reversal idea and I think I’d like to take you up on it (TWSS). From now on, you can do all the thinking and talking for me. I’ll do all the lovin’ and squeezin’.

        Sorry about the craziness last night. Living with 101 women does have its perks, bro, you’ll have to agree. Probably best you rest for now.

        See you soon,
        Man upstairs

  5. ladyofthemeadow says:

    My theory is that Rob has been holed up with Kellan in some obscure SoCal gym where no one knows him. He’s been working his ass off pumping iron, and getting ripped and cut. And growing his hair out to an even sexhair length.

    The big reveal will be at the BD premiere, when Rob will show up on the red carpet, shirtless, Fabio style.

  6. ladyofthemeadow says:

    I’d make no promises not to pee myself.

  7. 17_4awhile says:

    LOL @ bones mcjones & coke all over the screen from “my album is better than yours”. Love it. thx ladies.

  8. MariaCecilia says:

    What I HOPE Rob is doing with his free time:
    Writing and recording new songs for his album.
    Surfing the internet for his fan sites. Hello Rob!
    Getting drunk with some NEW people. Hello Rob!
    Buying some new (vintage) clothes and learning how to use a washing machine.
    Working out. HelLO Rob!!!

    What I THINK Rob is doing with his free time:
    Getting drunk with the same old people while secretly surfing his fan sites on his phone and giggling. *contented sigh*

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Wasn’t there some awards show recently (TCAs?) where Rob and KStew and Tay were all giggling at something they saw on someone’s cell phone? It had to be LTT or LTR. Had to.

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        Rob: Oh, that Natteringyearrobber, she’s just hilarious! So creative and witty. I’d love to meet her one day and share a Hot Pocket. Maybe she’ll go to the BD premiere!

        Tay: Is she cute?

        KStew: Both of you, grow up! And grow some cajones, will ya?

  9. The Old One says:

    I definitely want to see Rob in a remake of 101 Dalmations. Wasn’t the guy in that movie some kind of nerdy writer or musician? Perfect! He can write new songs for it, or re-make the old ones: Cruella De-ville! He would want to adopt all the puppies after they finished filming, for sure.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Wasn’t he a piano player/composer? Yes, Rob could be that guy, but instead of 101 Dalmations, it can be 101 LTR Sister Wives? He can get this big big house to fit all of us. Cruella De Ville will come to the house in the middle of the night and lure us out with promises of free cocktails…then she’ll net us and throw us in a giant moving van. Her intent will be to sell us to other blogs who need more horny female commenters (like or the like).

      She’ll get thwarted by Moon and UC in disguise, though, oh, she will. They’ll pretend to be agents and offer big money for all of us. At the last minute, they’ll unmask themselves and put Cruella in handcuffs (which of course she’ll love).

      There’s more to this story, but I’ve already said too much.

      • The Old One says:

        I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I like the way you think!

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Thanks TOO and back at you. Apparently someone hated the way I think, oh well. I can understand, maybe she’s one of the wives in the basement?

  10. TheVenom says:

    2nd book in the series: “stuff my dick emails back to me”. You should see what comes out of its mouth sometimes! Sheesh.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Dear Lucky Guy Attached To Me,

      Me again. Yah, yah, you know what’s coming (TWIS).

      I mean, I don’t want to complain, because we all know that you attract more flies with honey (or was it you attract more flies with TomStu’s beard…I forget).


      Maybe could we try something different? I was reading this great book on your Kindle the other day titled “How To Spruce Up The Relationship With The Other 80% of Yourself” (20%, heh heh, not to BOAST BUT….with other men it is more like 92% JS) and one of the suggestions was role-playing. I know that might sound trite to you, but let’s give it a shot. How about we role-reverse.As in you think like me and I think like you. Next time we are out in public, you just go right ahead and stand at attention and I’ll do all the talking. You can just have all the microphones on the BD promotional tour address your crotch if they want a response. I think it could the beginning of something wonderful. In fact, I already feel myself wanting you.

      15 minutes, back of TomStu’s car, see you there.

      Your Better 20% (boasting!)

      • MariaCecilia says:

        Spooky. NYR, do you, you know, actually KNOW a lot of those eh, organs? You seem to channel this one so beautifully. Hey, are you the one with the location “Crashing in Rob’s pants”? Because that would make total sense, then….

  11. bikechick3 says:


    “Dear Rob,

    Moon & I got to talking about you today, as we often do… ”

    BWAHAHAHAA Happy Friday ladies!

  12. maggie says:

    I know what he’s been doing. He’s been growing out the sex hair, growing out the beard and getting (if it’s possible) even hotter looking. Also, looks like he’s been successfully hiding out in LA. Good for you bb!

    Here he is today at LAX!!!

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Whenever I see Rob like that it reminds me of a bio on the Beatles where the author wrote of how Paul McCartney rode unmolested on the Tube in London “disguised as God”, in his Let It Be-era Jesus-beard. Maybe that’s what Rob is trying for… 🙂

  13. natteringyeahrobber says:

    The beard…it’s HUGE. Loving the hair and he’s still gorgeous, but the beard…maybe it will grow on me.

    Thanks for the photo, Maggie, I can always count on you for the latest available Rob photo. <3

    • maggie says:

      After jumping around and boring my neighboring co-worker with the fact that Rob appeared on my screen (while not working but hunting around for him -shhh, don’t tell anyone), she asked me if I have some kind of implant that tells me when he emerges from his cocoon. Maybe I do and don’t even know it!! Anyway, I couldn’t believe how excited I was to see him. Yes the beard is a touch too long for my taste, but I think it will be whacked off (twss) before we see him again.

      Yeay! I feel raindrops. The deluge will soon begin. THE DROUGHT IS OVER!!!!!

      (Wonder where Bear will be hanging out. My dog goes into a real funk when by DH leaves the house for a even few hours.)

  14. robsfuturemate says:

    Happy Friday Ladies!!!

    Finally after all your “I wish Rob would do something” posts, you come up with this brilliant plan to get Rob to come out and say hello! Who would have thought that all you had to do was make up random crap Rob would never, yes he would, do!!

    Great work ladies!!

    PS- beard, not as long and scraggly as I thought. and hair, SWOON!!!

  15. I lost my name link. Let’s see if I can get it back now.

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