Rob: I’d like to be your date

Dear Rob,

Today i was thinking about how to convince you to take me to the Breaking Dawn premiere. I know i know, it’s a little out there you’ve never taken a fan before but that’s my #1 Reason

Rob Pattinson weather man

This is not what I mean by Spontaneity

#1: Spontaneity
Here we are week after week begging you to surprise us- to do something different than shave part of your facial hair or grow a little more back. Asking you to do something different than wear the same clothes over and over again & be a recluse in your home, refusing to come out for us to see the pretty. You could solve all of these problems by taking me on the red carpet! I promise I’ll be a very willing & very grateful guest.

#2 I’m Definitely DTF so you don’t have to worry about your game- which, by the way, you have none of. I’m cool with your friends watching. Not my first choice, but since you don’t seem to be able to be a part from them, I’ll let this one slide

#3 I’ll come prepared with double doubles in my purse. And I’ll leave room to show a couple hour devours in my bag for us to snack on later

You won't be able to keep your hands off of this

#4 I’m gonna look hot I’ve already found the perfect outfit. Yep, that’s right- it’s a Bridesmaid dress. When they ask “UC who are YOU wearing tonight?” I’ll answer proudly, “Oh this ol’ thing? It’s just off the rack at david’s Bridal. I’m a Bridesmaid in the wedding of Bella & Edward *wink*”

#5 I actually knew who Van Morrison was Even before you mentioned them in that first interview. And I’ll be making a KILLER mix tape for the car ride. You have a tape deck in whatever wheels you’re rolling in these days, right?

#6 I’ll babysit I know Dick can get chatty after drinking a couple glasses of “Bella’s Blood” (the drink special of the after party) so I’m happy to take him off your hands & swing him around the dance floor. I’m really great with dads. [I am not saying I’m DTF with your dad. I mean, I don’t think I am…] And I’ll teach your sisters ALL about American fashion (I already convinced you of my knowledge above)

#7 I’ll bring a date for Dean your head of security. Wait. is that his REAL name? Or the name he was given on one of our sites long ago? Either way, he won’t be alone. I know a VERY pretty girl who would just love to be his date (Surprise, it’s Moon.)

This could get awkward

#8: Less awkwardness
Watching the movie next to me will be way less awkward than watching the movie next to Kristen because you know there are those rumors about the two of you. And, I mean, you DO it on screen. Like hardcore do it Look at these back muscles. That’s not someone who is just playing the tip. You are getting it IN. BIG TIME. And do you think that there won’t be cat calls in that theater? That there won’t be screams from the cheap seats from gals who have been counting down the days until they can see Robsten “make love?” It will be so much less awkward for you to just have your arm around someone new than to be sitting a couple seats from Kristen while you’re both blushing. You can be like “What? What are you looking at it? This isn’t a big deal.. I’m just siting here with my girl UC watching myself do it with a girl on screen. That’s it” It’ll let you continue… your charade or whatever you two think you’re doing.

So what do you think? Pick me up at 8? I’ll be the one waiting outside Moon’s house, in a big puffy pink dress


What do you think? Would I make a great date for Rob or the red carpet?

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23 Responses to “Rob: I’d like to be your date”

  1. VC says:

    He is not going to be able to keep his hands off you in that dress. It is so virginal yet skank at the same time. If you rub it with in and out burgers before in, you are so down baby.

  2. Cazza says:

    Waves frantically from the cheap seats……

    I know I’m gonna be giving a cat call or two at the honeymoon scene! It’s about time our boy received some whistles and oooeeeerrrrr sounds…..I mean, let’s face it, I’ve had to sit through at least two other movies with every audience member whistling every time the wolf boy has taken his shirt off – payback is a bitch, bring it on Ron!


  3. Robsessedgirl says:

    ok, i haven’t posted here for a long time but i’m going to the midnight premiere by myself because no one will go with me.
    This could be a good thing because this means no one will make fun of me if i start crying for no reason at Rob’s face or if i start hyperventilating. I’m excited.

    ps, i think Rob will love that bridesmaids dress. it’ll remind him of the time him and Tom played dress up when they were drunk off their heine.

    • nooo! Don’t go alone! Force someone to go with you!!! IT’s more fun with friends- even if you have to chain them & put duc tape over their mouth!

      • Robsessedgirl says:

        ugh i know but the thing is it’s on a school night!!!! so not many people are allowed to go but i’m going to try to find someone! it’d be more fun that way as long as whoever it is doesn’t make fun of me the whole time 😀

      • Bea says:

        It is, however, LESS fun to go with someone who’s hypercritical and won’t just laugh and let you enjoy it. SO choose your date wisely. I’m trying to decide if my husband gets another choice after spoiling Eclipse or if I’m going with a girlfriend that I’ll have to hide the normal from.

        • 40sumthin says:

          I’m taking the hubs…hoping it will spark some romance, KWIM?!

          • Robsessedgirl says:

            I think i might’ve found someone to go with me. but i might still go alone. decisions, decisions.

        • MariaCecilia says:

          I hear you loud and clear, sister. Facing the same predicament here. Sometimes going it alone doesn’t seem like such a bad idea, at least when there are no LTR or LTT-people around… 🙁

    • Cazza says:

      Girl, I’m going with 42 other women at midnight. You need to switch States ASAP…….


      • Robsessedgirl says:


        i don’t know why that was in caps but yeah

      • Jellybeanrainbow says:

        Rob knows where Moon lives? They’re BFFs since 2008? Yeah, I always knew you’re writing the letters and he ‘s reading them.

        ps Can I visit Moon that day and pretend I’m a gardener or a pool girl, a housekeeper…

  4. Rob's Zombie says:

    Those back muscles will be the death of me. I get kinda squirmy just looking at them in photos. When I see em’ in action I might just lose it! And that dress definitely screams DTF!!!!!

  5. 40sumthin says:

    UC, if he picks you, I’ll be so jealous! I want to be his date! I’d love to teach him a thing or 2. Us older women are good for something, ya know! BTW, love the bridesmaid dress!

  6. Susiecueablelovesrob says:

    When it comes to spontenuity (hope that’s how you spell it right) just saw Rob kissing a fan (three times) in Brussels half an hour ago – sooooooo darn cute! and the man is looking better and better every time I see him!

  7. Pammy says:

    On hey robobssesed girl, where do u live? You can go with me and my sis in Nashville and we can cat call after Rob and his back muscles all night and never make fun of you! 🙂
    Love the dress UC, Rob will go nuts over those ruffles!

  8. MariaCecilia says:

    Nooo, I was getting ready to go too, with a matching Bo Peep dress in green (you can wear yours in blue, Rob!)!!But I guess there’s nothing to stop Rob from turning up with a whole rainbow of satin dresses?

    Reminds me of a time when I and two other people accompanied this guy to a formal social function where you were told to “bring the one you live with”. We were four students of both sexes sharing an apartment. Guess he got some big stares when he hearded us in there and got us drinks…

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