Stuff we STILL don’t know about Rob

Dear Rob,

After doing research last week for our 3 year anniversary letters and Moon’s anniversary present (more on that later), I came across posts & pictures that reminded me that I STILL didn’t know the story or details behind a certain situation. And, well, you’d think after 3 years of following your ever move I’d know a lot more. So, in no particular order, here are some pressing questions I have about your life.

What happened to Patty? Did she die from old age, happy in her dog bed, chewing on the Hot Pocket toy you gave her last time you were home?


Rob gets drunk with a kid too young to be drunk with him

WHO was that ginger kid you got drunk with on New Years Eve 2008 and WHAT were you doing with him? Is he a relative of the Weasley’s?

Why did you REALLY get kicked out of school?

Did you lose your virginity to Cho Chan?

Nikki Reed, really? How high WERE you?

What do you DO when you’re not being photographed? I cannot imagine you stay inside the other 335 days out of the year when the paps don’t catch you. How do you stock the fridge? Do you have a housekeeper & caregiver? How do you get new clothes? Are you an Amazon Prime member?

of COURSE Tom was there!

Whatever happened with you & Nina Schubert, your “great love story for 3 years?” And WHERE is she? Why is she not on TV & shit proclaiming that she knows what you look like down there? Why hasn’t she posed for Playboy yet? “ROB PATTINSON’S GIRLFRIEND KISSES & TELLS, WHILE NAKED

How did you REALLY meet the Brit Pack? I know you say you were “introduced” but by whom? Your counselors at “reform camp?” Where you got sent after getting kicked out of school for some unknown reason?

What do you DO with all your money? Do you dabble in the stock market? How are your mutual funds looking? Are you aggressively investing? 20% in foreign marketings, 30% in bonds? 50% in tech stocks? When you look at foreign markets, are you looking HERE in the states, or back home in Britain?

Rob just needs to get some Yen

Speaking of that, are you richer HERE in the US than if you were living at home? Since 1 pound is worth more than 1 dollar currently. Does that confuse you? It confuses me. Do you carry pounds in your wallet AND dollars? Do you use that Currency Exchange stand in the international terminal at the airports? Do you collect currency from all the places you visit? I have some old pesos I can send you, if so. I mean the kind used BEFORE the peso the current Mexico uses. They’re probably worth something.

Do your friends call you “Ron” now too after giving up on teaching their iPhones it’s “Rob,” not “Ron?”

What are your parents doing in their retirement?

How grossed out are your sisters by the female obsession over you? Do they buy you things like the Edward Cullen Body Pillow as Christmas presents just to embarrass you? Is “Edward Cullen” like the new “Claudia?” Do you wish they’d just go back to calling you “Claudia” instead? Have they ever tried “Claudia Cullen?” (you’re welcome for the suggestion, Lizzy & Victoria, obvious readers of LTR, because who wouldn’t want to read a blog gushing over your little brother?)

Anyway, Rob, just a few questions I have about your life, even 3 years later.

Get back to me when you can,

What questions do YOU have about Rob’s life?

Run, not walk, to LTT today. JUST DO IT.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

23 Responses to “Stuff we STILL don’t know about Rob”

  1. OhRob says:

    Rob, have you ever franch kiss Tom?
    Do you prefer euros vs. dollars?

  2. ladyofthemeadow says:

    I have a ton of questions for Rob:

    Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? Did you ever keep ones you made before (I suspect not)

    Do you realize you can’t keep that long, lean look if you keep eating Hot Pockets, drinking, and smoking? Age catches up with you, Rob.

    Are you aiming for Freedom 35?

    Will you set up your own record label?

    Is Nina is paid off enough that she won’t kiss and tell?

    Does Dean have a good health plan? Are you going to support him in his old age? Do you have a career plan for when Dean has to move on from security?

    Are you planning to stop smoking already? My advice is to drink more if necessary.

    Do you do psychotherapy to help a regular bloke like you deal with fame issues?

    Do you know how to suppress burps in public, after 3 Heineken? Do you care?

    Do you support Claire and Dick? Did you get that new boiler for their house? Have you given them money to hire a bonded cleaning lady to dust all that bric-a-brac in Claire and Dick’s living room/lounge? Pay her well, or else you’ll see more embarrassing baby photos on the internet.

  3. Justthetip,EH? says:

    Who’s Patty?

  4. Angela says:

    I’d be all day asking him things, thoughful things, swallow things, everything! it must be so interesting talk to him w/o the presion of ‘Being RPattzz’!
    But I think the most weird I could ask it would be
    Are you aware that all this years of screaming girls, you could end deaf?? I hope he is 🙂

  5. RobRomVamp says:

    WARNING: Do not read if you’re easily offended.

    I want to know how you m-bate. Like, what do you think about? Where do you prefer to do it? When do you prefer to do it?

    Here’s what I think. I think you like to do it in the shower. To get the day off on the right foot (or third leg). Now, what do you think about .. Oh the possibilities ..

    Bella and Jacob in the back of his rabbit, eh scratch that.
    Kristen wearing your clothes, nope that’s not it.
    Hmm ..

  6. The Old One says:

    I think we had a discussion here once about his tax situation–does he have to pay taxes both in Britain and the U.S.? Must be killer! You’re the 1% now Rob, how does that make you feel?

    How do you stay motivated to do any work at all, when you’ve got enough to live on for the rest of your life? Does that scare you, that you would just play guitar and drink Heinekens all day because you can?

    Yeah, and where are all those old girlfriends/hook-ups and why don’t we have their stories? Are they that nice, hoping to get back with him some day, or is he really paying them off?

    I think about these things maybe just a little more than I should. Sigh.

  7. Robjunkie says:

    I really need to know where in the world is Nina? Come back Nina! Let’s be besties. We can have slumber parties with cocktails, and make fun of Robsten. And you can tell me all about the time you took Rob’s flower. Did he cry? I’ll even let you drunk dial Rob. You still have his number right?

  8. Pammy says:

    UC! Love this! This totally made my Wednesday!!! I have often pondered these questions as well! Too funny! So wish one day someone would forward him one of these posts. I think he would get a kick out of it! I’m surprised Josh Horowitz hasn’t brought one out for him to read during an interview! Love it!!!

  9. The Old One says:

    Do you think Rob is like Queen Elizabeth II, and he’s not allowed to ever handle money? I think that must be true–remember that interview where he said he had to pay a parking ticket and it took him all day to figure out how?

    I’m thinking Manager Nick is probably in charge of doing any purchasing, but once in a while Rob escapes his clutches and goes on a rampage–like buying multi-thousand-dollar guitars at Norm’s Rare Guitars or a shopping spree at ACNE in Sweden or at the local thrift shop. You know Nick does NOT approve of Rob’s T-shirt collection.

  10. Fran says:

    The ginger boy is actualy Arthur Sturridge, Tom’s younger brother 🙂

    • The Old One says:

      I thought so, too, but now I don’t think it is, having carefully examined all available photos of Arthur Sturridge (such a cutie!). I think it must be a cousin of Rob’s, judging from the jawline. Kid is going to have to grow into that, like a puppy grows into its paws.

      • Fran says:

        Haha, he really is little Stu. That photo was actually on Arthur’s facebook page, which is now closed for everyone who’s not on his friend list. There are also some others photos from that particular night. Nothing crazy, just a bunch of guys having fun.

  11. twiprof says:

    ya know, that kid you say looks like a weasley actually looks like tomstu’s kid brother….which kind of makes him like rob’s brother too?

  12. Chela Madison says:

    I just saw an early interview where someone asked him why he got kicked out of school hahaha!! His lips were sealed, but that’s one of my questions too. What DID you do Mr. Pattinson? And how did Mum react? Also I saw your dad in a Regis and Kelly video interview. He is absolutely adorable XD! So shy when the camera was on him. You must take after dear ol’ Pop. Do you really consider yourself a deep person (who is also a very good people person), or is that just me pushing my dream qualities on to you? Main thing you do in your free time?

    • Chela Madison says:

      Ooo one more! Please tell me you and Dean are besties XP! (Maybe you and Hot Body Guard, aka Kristen’s bodyguard, are bffls too ;D)

  13. Bea says:

    Def an Amazon Prime member.
    Contemplating what it would be like to be Rob’s sister is hilarious!

  14. TheVenom says:

    My question isn’t clever or funny, but I would ask what inspires him musically. Does he write alone or does he have jam sessions with friends? What is that like? Haven’t really seen/read much about him so for all I know, those questions have been answered. Sorta newbie-ish of me. Now I feel nosy for even asking them.

    • danielle says:

      don’t feel nosy! we all ponder a lot of questions about Rob. there’s so much stuff we don’t know about him, and we pay so much attention to him. that it is hard to to wonder about these things and then some.

  15. ana says:

    Congrats ladies, you guys are really smart. Keep writing. Rob, by living a low profile life, gives us a lot for us to wonder.

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