Dirty Dancing or just Dirty?

Dear Rob,

Some person at Kristen’s friends Dirty Dancing party took a picture of you guys looking scuzzy and it “magically” made it’s way onto the nets via the super reliable Hollywood Life. First off you both look like the “before” picture of cast members on Celebrity Rehab or maybe those homeless teens on Venice Beach with the mangy dog and the dreads selling hemp necklaces. You know the ones (sad). Either way, it’s not good. It just makes me think the inside of the “palatial pad” in Los Feliz (yes, we all know now) looks like that picture of Whitney Houston’s bathroom or maybe you just have a couple lawn chairs set up in the living room in front of the 90 inch tv that came with the house but you can’t find the remote to.

Quick, someone to the Photoshop machine!

Second, if you’re going to a theme party can we at least pretend you sort of put two seconds of thought into your “costumes?” If you’re going to be Johnny or even just a random greaser may I suggest some tight ass black pants, dance boots, and a pompadour wig? Best lady friend who gets a botched abortion for 200 bucks in an alley named Penny, optional. Kristen is like half way there, though I doubt this was on purpose. All she needs to do to complete the look it pull the bottom of the shirt through the neck hole (we’ve all done it), throw on a curly wig, carry a watermelon and talk about going to Mount Holyoke in the fall… or maybe the peace corps. It’s more wholesome 50s and less hipster dbags. Seriously guys, this is easy.

I brought a spiked watermelon

I expect a little more effort when you come to my Dowton Abbey themed costume birthday party this year. We’re talking Morning jackets, tweed hunting coats, HAIR, dress TomStu up in a Chauffeur costume and have him drive you to the party in the “motor.”  Plant Sam Bradley in someone’s bed as dead Mr. Pamuk. Really, this is the level of commitment for a costume party that me and my friends expect. FYI.

No one puts Rob in a corner… well maybe they do if he looks like that…

PS Tell your friend this costume has nothing to do with Dirty Dancing. That is a Hipster denim diaper. Have you people even seen Dirty Dancing?

PPS Remember these AMAZING videos from forever ago?? Suddenly seems perfect…

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36 Responses to “Dirty Dancing or just Dirty?”

  1. GMB says:

    LOL …The lack of Dirty Dancing continuity aside, I think its a sweet picture of them. They look comfortable and relaxed.

    • onemoreorless says:

      She´s just borrowing the lighter for her last 2 cartons of cigarettes. That´s the most dirty moment she can share with Ron in public. Poor twitter guy probably had to hide ages behind the paperboard watermelon to get the photo. What a lucky sneaky dancer!

  2. LadyN says:

    It looks like the high school senior party you were never invited to cuz you weren’t cool enough. You’re the girl sitting at the lunch table whining about ‘why can’t I get the hot guy?!’ Oh how I know the feeling.

    makes me feel old staring at that. sigh.

    But I least ill always have baby’s, ‘I carried a watermelon.’ I can relate. <3 best line ever

    • Casey says:

      This totally reminded me of some cool party I would never have been invited to. I never pictured Rob as a “Red Solo Cup” kinda guy. He’s got class. He drinks out of the bottle 🙂

    • MariaCecilia says:

      This picture makes me think maybe my mother was right when she told me “You ain’t missing a thing.” when I whined about being excluded from all the cool parties…

    • sjaantje says:

      I totally agree with you! From what you can tell of the house, it doesn’t look like a fancy Hollywood/Beverly Hills home and the red solo cups are perfect!
      Do you think at some point during the night Rob brought out his guitar and they all started singing “Red Solo Cup”? Now why can’t that video magically appear on the internet!

  3. lita says:

    KStew in jorts – Maybe she was Team Jacob all this time?

    I wonder if they practice the lift (a la Emma and Ryan from that movie whose title I always mess up)?

    I think I may have to go buy some Keds now.

    • sjaantje says:

      Funny you meantion Keds. I have had the oddest urge lately to go out and buy some Keds. Seeing this just makes it worse. LOL!

    • MariaCecilia says:

      *snorts* Sure she was Team Jacob all the time: she kissed the guy, I knew it was for real! 😉 If I get jorts, do you think I’ll get to hug any cute guys too..?

  4. MariaCecilia says:

    I want to come to your Downton Abbey party!!! And if Rob comes in his Bel Ami costume, I’ll DRAG him into a corner, no matter how he looks!

    Actually, what is it about Dirty Dancing right now? The musical just premiered over here and the movie is running non-stop on tv? Hey, if Rob learned how to dance, do you think he could get to be Johnny in the re-make? *holding breath*

  5. libby says:

    bwahahahahahaha I wanna see Rob’s dirty dance moves…
    now I had the time of my liiiiiiiiiiife, no I never felt this way before… yes I swear… it’s the truth…!

  6. amynkansas says:

    The person who took this pic should be banned from all parties. Forrrrr-evvvv-verrrrrrr.
    You can tell ny Ron’s expression: Oh No You Di’nt!

  7. Melissa says:

    he’s looking…buff-ish? buff-er? meatier? whatever-er, i don’t hate it.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      *stuttering* Like, when did you, like ever, like hate on…on.. Rob!!?

    • TeamSeth says:

      I thought this too! I wondered if it was a “new” thing or not. Apparently so… Maybe he *can* do the dirty dancing move [that Ryan Gosling does in Crazy Stupid Love].

  8. marysway says:

    Different sources on this pic yesterday. It’s suppose to be at Kristen’s friends Scout’s place. At one point it was said to be at Kristen’s cousin skate shop. So who knows. Whatever it was Kristen seems to be getting a or giving back a lighter and being the clinger that she is. I’m sure Rob’s parents are very proud of this picture. Yeah it’s a party and all, but Kristen looks like shit. Get a hairbrush for that hair.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      She’s already got him. She don’t need no hairbrush no more…(nor does he!)

      • marysway says:

        Your right, Rob buzzed his hair and he does not need a brush but she does. If you want long hair brush it and keep it clean. I won’t even comment on the first part you wrote in order to not start a war of are they or are they not. shrugs…..

        • MariaCecilia says:

          Oooo, you mean..? Mum’s the word: I prefer not to think about it myself.
          I won’t go into all the things that can make your hair fall out…brushing, however, isn’t one of them.

        • Edible art? says:

          Can’t stop the are they aren’t they war…they’ll end up married with 3 kids and someone somewhere on a blog will comment “married with 3 kids that don’t mean nothing, I marry my friends all the time and who doesn’t have kids with my friends – that’s what friends do” he looks good if a bit confused but that’s nothing new I suppose !!

  9. Justthetip,EH? says:

    I love you red solo cup, I fill you up. Lets have a pity party. I’m so jealous of her. There, I said it.

  10. Kat says:

    BICEPS!!! That is all.

  11. Cam says:

    Loving the Downton Abbey references, ladies. Was actually rewatching the season 2 finale last night and found myself thinking “I wonder if UC and Moon are into Downton now?” And then I was wondering (hoping) if someone would come up with a Letters to Downton or Letters to Matthew Crawley.

    That’s normal.

  12. Bea says:

    See, if that were my boyfriend with the buzz cut and I knew that he had the potential for the world’s best sex hair, I totally would have used the opportunity to manipulate him into growing it back. “We’ve got that Dirty Dancing” party coming up, dear. You’ve got to have a luscious pompadour. Only a total nerd would have had a buzz like yours. And we both know you’re not that. You have to do it, it’s only period appropriate!”

    • MariaCecilia says:

      I think a wig would be the quicker solution in this case..unless you get your party invitations a year in advance..which I guess could technically be possible if you’re a celebrity? But anything to put that sex hair back where it belongs!

  13. Venom says:

    I wonder if anyone accidentally drank from the red solo cup ashtray. It happens.

  14. Rats. I was attempting to avoid this picture. Oh well. Poor Robsten. His face is all, “GODDAMIT we can’t have nice things.”

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Not have nice things, how can you say that?!
      *channeling Sony and Cher*
      “ooh, I’ve got you babe, I’ve got you babe..”

  15. stupidshiny says:

    Ugh, I just wish they would both stop smoking…

    • The Old One says:

      I know, right? The thought of ashtray mouth really gets in the way of my Rob fantasies. Kissing a smoker: no. I prefer to block out that little fact about Rob.

  16. Elle says:

    I love seeing shit like this. That’s EXACTLY how I envision them hanging out together… In a smoke filled room with beer pong cups. Kristen looks like she always looks offscreen or at a non-event… unkept and not giving a fuck. I bet they talk to each other with a constant “inhaled” voice. The kind where you’ve hit the bong and your eyes get all squinty. They probably call each other dude. I’m ready for no-more-sten.

  17. Ali says:

    When I saw Kstew with jorts and a cigarette the first thing I thought about was the “redneck barbie” I once saw (no offense to any redneck out there). But seriously, couldn’t she at least brush her hair or something? She looks like she just rolled outta bed, she’s so pretty so why must she dress like a hobo?!!

    BTW, this photo still doesn’t convert me into Robsten, when I see a pic of them REALLY holding hands like a couple, making out in the middle of the street, or Rob grabbing her bum ala Gerald Butler/Jennifer Aniston then I’ll believe =D

  18. Old Enough to Know Better says:

    You know Robsten is always over thinking things. Evidently when they got the Dirty Dancing party invite, they weren’t thinking Baby and Johnny getting all hot on the dance floor. No, they were thinking more along the lines of the party for all the guys and gals working at Kellerman’s held in the crappy dance studio or whatever the heck that place was where the watermelon was delivered – just not all sexy like in the movie, no more like how they would really look if they’d worked all day at a resort on the brink of closing. (Okay, now you know that I previously obsessed over another movie a zillion years ago.) Robsten might want to rethink the look when they go try out for the DD remake. Ooooh, can’t wait to hear Ron singing “She’s Like the Wind”.

    Seriously, did the friend guy in this picture cook everybody some hotpockets before they sat down to play poker or are they hanging in the back room of the local bar? Friend guy looks like he’s wearing a hairnet or maybe Rob suggested his barber . . .

  19. Pattygirl says:

    I only see Rob………enough said…..

  20. Rebarr says:

    This photo does not remind me of Dirty Dancing….the dirty dancers always seemed showered, pressed and somewhat stylish. These people look like Nirvana groupies who’d probably have stink crotch and bad teeth.

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