Where do we sign, Rob?

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Dear Rob,

I saw some pictures of you on a surf board accompanied by an oar. I did think it was just a little odd that there was not another single soul in sight; but hey maybe you bought an island or something. And since I’m still in utter denial over this “Robsten thing” I’ve had to resort to “back in the day” Rob stuff.

“I’m mumbling in my roommm”

My ONLY girlfriend in real life who (sort of understands my twisted obsession with you) asked me an interesting question. What music would be playing if you and I were hanging out? I figured I would answer the obvious (but did it oh so non-nonchalantly of course) “Pffft, Heavy Blues, DUH” And I looked at her all “you’re so not in my Rob Circle” way.

Then today I was listening to you on the Twilight soundtrack.. (yes it’s a daily thing don’t judge) And Rob, this is some crazy shit right here…but I recognized that I was singing along and actually saying the right words. As you well know Rob, this can only be accomplished by the truly Robsessed. Which leaves me to a bit of constructive cristsm.. I honestly can’t remember what my first reaction was when I heard you sing for the first time Rob. However the fact that I could only understand 1 out of every 5 words rings in my mind crystal clear. [UC NOTE: Yep. We call that “the Mumbles”

I WANTED to understand. So, like everyone else, I stopped and re-winded and stopped and re-winded my CD player and listened with the volume turned all the way up… then stopped and re-winded. BUT.. fast-forward to present day and I’m all kinds of pissed off when my non-twihard friends (that would be everyone except the ONE I mentioned earlier) can’t understand you singing. What can I say? I’m seasoned I guess.

Anyhoo, it took me a few months before I even knew you were the voice behind “Let Me SIgn” Now don’t get offended here Rob. That song is a monster to understand and it’s only 2 minutes long! Why is it that you mumble 5,6,10 words in a row and then sing one that is understood? My God Rob, Is it possible that there is a person in the fandom that DOESN’T KNOW??
Well never fear Rob, because I’ve come to a perfectly acceptable conclusion. I’ve decided that since you are playing whatever instrument that goes along with the song (in this case acoustic guitar) you’re so passionate that the words just flow like that. Simple isn’t it? And really who cares because you know we’re all going to listen to it until we understand every word (or at least google it and read along..And yes, we’ve ALL done that too.) Nobody has been able to catch every song with virgin ears.. NOBODY.

Is there a point? Of course.. and although it’s been overkilled by my ranting, I want to change my answer to: I would be listening to whatever your playing on the guitar and listening to your unrecognizable words. Because the truth is, I really don’t care, I like it all. awwwww… I know you’re blushing right now.

BUT…just in case you ever decide to polish up on your musical talent.

Here are the lyrics to Let Me SIgn:

She was standing there by the broken tree
Her hands were all twisted she was pointing at me
I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky
She said ‘Come on over to the bitter shade,
I will wrap you in my arms and you’ll know you’ve been saved’
Let me sign, let me sign

I found the link on you tube for a little memory refresher..


Okay and Rob, here’s what I hear:

By, Broken tree, hands are all twisted,
She’s pointin at me. I”ll stand by light comin
All I see spoken a voicen struct to the sky.
She said roll oh over yeah ta pillow shade.
I will wrap you in my on and on..
let me sign..
let me sign..


I bet if everyone at LTR listened to this song and read my lyrics you would all be like.. DA-FUK?? It’s spot on.

That’s all Rob… Didn’t want you to think I forgot about you over here.


After the Jumping Rob.. we have something special and NSFW

 I made Moon this for her upcoming birthday (no I didn’t):

And then Brookelockart & I had to break it down

Brookelockart: is she holding is wiener in this?
UC: yes. or a baby bottle. which is what she made his wiener look like
Brookelockart: She really needs to make up her mind, “i want to ride Rob, this way, and that way, oh and that way, and this way and oh, oh, oh, oh THAT WAY” “oh and then it to be secretly filmed so I can grin at the camera”
UC: omg it’s so gross! like.. a stick figure is grossing me out! (I need to watch Vampire Dairies again to get un grossed out. OMG PAUSE FOR A MOMENT TO FANGIRL WITH ME ABOUT THAT!) and WHY does his wee wee look like a baby bottle? Why does it have STRIPES?
Brookelockart: why must people violate him? it’s a cartoon rape fantasy!!!
UC: Ohhh you just got deep. and if you’re gonna violate him in a cartoon rape fantasy, can’t you fantasize a … less blue penis?
Brookelockart: Or make it GIGANTIC and less chode-like?
UC: she fantasized herself pretty damn flexible though. that’s nice
Brookelockart: and she serviced him. that was nice too
UC: also… is she wearing red socks? to match her red hair? and maybe a red garter?
Brookelockart: or a fire crotch.
UC: Ah… makes sense. so following that logic, those red socks mean she has red hairy feet… this really IS a fantasy then, huh? Rob would NEVER let a stick figure with red hairy feet service him
Brookelockart: But a stick figure without red hairy feet?
UC: Sure! Who wouldn’t?

Admit it. You’ve missed offensive things on LTR. Ps: WHO MADE THIS????

Love, UC (and Brookie and Moonie who sent that to us)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

17 Responses to “Where do we sign, Rob?”

  1. Usualnurse says:

    Reading about rob singing brings me back to the good ol’ days of falling for him. After watching twilight for the first time and utterly loving the music in the movie, i had to watch the Music credits scroll at the end of movie. I saw his name and thought “huh, isn’t that the name of the guy who plays Edward…rob pattERson, paTTIson, or something like that?…..is that him?” So I of course started googling away…and that’s all it took, I was hooked. Watching video after video of funny interviews, beil videos, and listening to those soulfull

    • usualnurse says:

      oooooops..my hand submitted my comment before I was done….anyhow….

      googling rob and listening to his soulful mumbles is “how I fell” for rob. Then of couse at the same time I found LTR, and here I am YEARS later and still wasting my mornings stalking him 🙂

      UC and Brooke-its a water bottle in the stick video, a scene from the book.

  2. niahid says:

    OMG that stick cartoon riding Rob is priceless. Can’t stop LOL ing. Is it normal that everytime I see Cosmopolis trailer , i think of how big Rob head is?

  3. Jerzeylisa says:

    Sorry, but I still don’t get Rob’s singing. I’m still like “da-fuk?”
    Having said that, I think his playing any instrument is sexy…just so he doesn’t open his mouth to sing.
    Speaking of open mouths and instruments…the wiener drawn in the picture is obviously a condom that is ribbed( the stripes) because Rob is concerned with your level of pleasure. Sometimes they are ribbed on BOTH sides too…double the pleasure!

  4. Nelle says:

    Nope. The mumbles don’t do it for me. Don’t hate me. I can just tell Rob has a quality voice in there. Wish I could hear him use it. That’s why I was hoping he would play Jeff Buckley in a biopic. He would have to sing and stop the mumbles.

    • The Old One says:

      I don’t mind the mumbles so much, it’s just another one of those unique endearing things. And when I hear a Van Morrison song, I think, yeah, that’s where he gets the mouth full of marbles sound…
      Oh, and I totally agree I wish he had gotten the role of Jeff Buckley.

  5. The Old One says:

    Yeah, the stick figure thing. Wow.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      It’s really neat, if you close one eye and squint with the other, that stick figure kind of actually looks like me. If you ignore the red hair. And seriously underweight body. The climbing all over Rob looks like me, though.

  6. Venom says:

    Its cool when people can misinterpret lyrics so similarly. I thought it was spot on, except I heard “whoa yeah no bitter taste”. Pillow shade makes more sense. I love Rob’s singing voice even if he doesn’t always a-nun-ci-ate. I always hear songs wrong anyway. Thanks for the cheat sheat!

    Was the cartoon water bottle there to collect a specimen?

  7. maggie says:

    Rob singing. (sigh). At first I really hated it. It made no sense and sounded like a bunch of wailing. After many, many listens, I’ve grown to love, FLOVE it. It’s not about the words (although it’s always fun to try to figure out what the hell he’s saying). It’s about the emotion and about his reaching way down deep within himself and letting loose. It’s like Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, even Joe Cocker. It’s also a part of Rob we never really get to see.

    If only he was playing the part of Jeff Buckley….. I could have died a completely happy woman in a theater watching that movie.

  8. DanySpike says:

    I loved the stick figure. Obviously, the bottle is meant to represent alcohol as one of the vices, which along premarital sex, is forbidden by God–

    Nah, I have no idea. I just loved the little “me” sign written on top 🙂

  9. stupidshiny says:

    I’m with you Maggie, it took me a while to love Rob’s voice and it was purely because of his lack of enunciation – he sounded like a deaf person singing (and I sooo do not mean that to be offensive, my cousin was deaf and that’s what she sounded like when speaking because she couldn’t hear or lip read the hard sounds) anyway, I love him now and that’s all that matters…

  10. Twiprof says:

    The first time I watched the movie I was overwhelmed with let me sign and Catherine’s picture menagerie during that part of the film…the voice, the music, the visual….it reminded me why I love independent films….when I found out that the song wasn’t on the soundtrack, I was initially disappointed….thanks for the breakdown….

  11. fayted17 says:

    I totally thought she was holding a water bottle.
    Maybe he’s wearing a neon blue hipster condom?
    That’s quite the impressive length he’s got there. It appears to come up to about the bottom of his sternum, which on a man his height would mean his shlong was a good 16-18 inches long. Not too shabby there Rob.

  12. MariaCecilia says:

    Hehe, reminds me of when I was a kid and sang to the songs on the radio..ABBA:s Mama Mia “just how much I missed you” became “what you gonna mister..”
    Great mouths sing phonetically…and forget about the friggin’ words!

  13. sjaantje says:

    I am just now seeing this and you are totally spot on with your lyrics!
    Now I am laughing so hard at the stick figure picture I have tears in my eyes! You gotta find a way to make that into a new LTR t-shirt!

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