The end is here. We’re here for you Rob

Dear Rob,

We heard the news. And we’ve been preparing for years as we figured one day this would come (but to be honest… we kinda figured you’d mess it up instead of she-who-should-not-be-named (we’ll call her that in case hearing her name is too hard. Also because you were in Harry Potter)) So last night we broke the glass on the Break Up Kit. And we’re excited to share what is inside:

Gosh I miss 2009

First: of course there’s a Hot Pocket Fort. Big enough for the 3 of us complete with a small microwave– a necessity for what’s next on the list

The entire stock of Costco’s Hot Pocket Freezer. We bought them back in ‘2009 but those bad boys have enough preservatives to get us through 2015

There’s a KEG of Heineken chillen’ in my beer fridge. Sad times call for much more than a case of beer can ever do.

The Brit pack are here with their guitars tuned and voices warmed ready to serenade you with whatever you want. (Yep, they’re in our Break up Kit) Looking for something upbeat? Marcus is on it. How about an ol’ Bob Dylan tune? Bobby’s got you covered. And Sam’s even brushed up on the DMB catalog in case things get really rough.

Next up is a stack of print outs from since we know you much you love them (and haven’t had access for a few years)

Michael Oregano’s phone # in case you want to swap stories.

She’s ready for you

In case you want to get dangerous to numb the pain, we’ve even got Tiffanized on speed dial. You’ll remember her as Rob’s M.O.M (Match of the Month back from February 2010) No one could ever forget the sexy woman who posed for you like this <—-

And of course there’s us: UC & Moon, Noreen & Bunny… the girls there to dry your eyes. We’ll let you call us whatever you want because this is our day to celebrate YOUR DAY. And we’re here for whatever your needs are. That’s right– vegetarian for 12 years, but I’ll even try the Pepperoni hot pocket. Cat lover at heart but I’ll walk Bear. Can’t understand a word you say when you sing, but I’ll sing a long to the new song you wrote.

Really. Whatever. You. Need

Hang in there,
UnintendedChoice (with theMoonisDown)

PS: Rob we have some chloraseptic… you know what that’s for


161 Responses to “The end is here. We’re here for you Rob”

  1. Meredith says:

    …and the countdown to Nikki Reed leaving her hubby begins in 3, 2……

  2. Shea says:

    Twilight fandom is back again!
    Home sweet home 🙂
    It is truly sad when one movie can change a person, she was normal before the snow white movie, now she has turned all hollywood.
    Hell, who am I kidding, she’s scum. Come lay on my boobies rob <3

  3. aysel says:

    OMG, I can’t even! Kristen, Kristen, WHY??? My heart is litteraly shuttered. You were the one couple I could bet my savings on, is going to go on and on strong… and with who? this sleezy 40 year old… with kids… where is your integrity, and pride, and sincerity, and, most importantly, love for Rob. He worshiped you! Oh, I don’t know, if he’s going to forgive her or not, regardless they are forever tarnished. No more fairtale.
    Kate and Will, it’s all up to you now 🙂

  4. Katester says:

    “the potential future-daughter-in-law of Dick status. Why would any sane person give THAT up?”

    Agree – first thing I thought of! And the sisters – God help Kristen when they get her cornered.

  5. Robsessedgirl says:

    The whole thing is awful, but I think what bothers me the most is the fact that she goes on and on about how she just wants to be genuine and real with everyone but then she goes and does this, which just proves that she really is an idiot, and trash no less. Hopefully now he’ll find someone who can make him happy and be there for him. I VOLUNTEER!

  6. Karen says:

    This is no suprise. Kristen is a playa. She knew she wasn’t ready to settle down with just Robert. I feel sorry for Rob because this guy literally worship the ground she walked on.

  7. Karen says:

    Kristen has step right in her own sh*t. Her words has come back to bite her in the a** and she’s looking pretty stupid right now. I mean, who would do something like this at the PEAK of their career. She has F’Ked up.

  8. Xylem108 says:

    Its been years since I’ve been part of the fandom, but I had to come out of retirement to just say:


    I’m sorry that Rob has to hurt this way, but if he is honest, he will admit that this is who he thought she was too since they became involved while she was still with Michael whatshisname. That’s the reason he was stuck like glue to her on the “On The Road” set. IMHO he should take her for the good times; for referring her to Cathy the cougar and for the many oral pleasures I’m assuming she gave him. Then he should go out and find himself a real woman.

    OK…. rant over. This will make me watch their interviews again. (just when i thought i was out….THEY PULL ME BACK IN!!)

  9. melanie says:

    and if any of you haven’t seen this, it may be the best reaction to this news. ever. #winning

  10. Nola79 says:

    I just read a report @ People Online that Rob has packed his bags and left the house they share together and inside sources say that they don’t thnk they can get past this.

    Good for you Rob for not letting her F@$k you over, humiliate you, aneffectivly walk all over you by taking her back. You deserve so much better…..for years!

    I can’t help but feel awful for the extreme joy her pain brings me. For the past 4 years she has put herself above everyone, so real, so genuwine, I like cool hipster music, my relationshp is mine, but I refuse to kiss, hold hands or act like I give a $h!+ about him (even in the candid Cannes tape, he was so sweet, doting on her and she just sat there with her arms wrapped around herself). Not to mention, every dream I have ever had about Rob, she was always in the back ground looking surly and he was worried about her constantly (F-her for effing up my dreams!) To see her crash and burn, man it is sweet.

    My empathy lies with Rob and I hope he makes it out o.k. I look at it this way, he has so many movies lined up and he is in the prime of his life, go make some music, make some money, find a model for a wife (just no Paris, heroin, or effing with stars, points for whoever gets that reference.) I didn’t even think of the epic songs his broken heart will be writing. $h!+, he can be the male Adele.

  11. Lola says:

    …And he’s gone!

    Packed his Hotpockets and beer and hightailed it out of LA. I hope he left her a nasty goodbye note:

    “I’m RPATZ! Can’t believe you forgot! L8ter hootchie!” <already buzzed

  12. Bethany says:

    Ha! That Oregano comment made me laugh so hard. You got no idea.

  13. JenNH says:

    A few things that have occurred to me: 1) Please, please Twi fandom, DO NOT vote for them for MTV’s best kiss next year (better yet–MTV, don’t nominate them). It would be as uncomfortable to watch as an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm–squirm-inducing to the nth degree. 2) You can forget about that BD2 commentary I was looking forward to. 3) I used to worry that they’d torpedo the relationship before they got all the films in the can–didn’t think about this scenario ruining the viewing only weeks prior to release! 🙁

  14. Annie says:

    I have tried for two years to like Kristen Stewart, despite her flipping people off, her surly pouts anytime she’s out in public. I tried to understand as people kept saying, “hey, she’s just shy, awkward etc. But it turns out, she’s just not a very nice person.

    I would always think when she was walking through airports with her mean girl expression, “would it hurt you to look like you’re enjoying life and the millions you get from fans at least a little?” But no, she was too above us.

    I think the reason she doesn’t care if she got caught is cause she wasn’t really that invested in the relationship. Rob obviously adored and worshipped her (can’t figure out why) and was the one invested. She has basically said a big fuck you to Rob through all this. I hope he moves on. Not all women are cheating skanks.

  15. Jamie says:

    My first thought after seeing this whole debacle on Gossip Cop’s Facebook was to head over to LTR and LTT and see what was up. I am glad other people think this is just as fishy.

    She wouldn’t let herself be caught with Rob, wouldn’t admit she was in a relationship with him (sounded to me like she was ashamed of it for some reason) and did everything she could to avoid any publicity around it. And she got caught with another man in public, in her car, and then comes out and says how much she loves and deeply respects Rob?

    Sounds to me Kristen wanted an out to the relationship. She didn’t want to do the breaking up, so she did something stupid to make him break up with her. It was probably extremely easy to seduce the director (Married 40+ year old approached by a 22 year old wild chick? Most guys will take the bait)

    And like most chicks, after the fact she probably had second thoughts, hence getting caught a few days later suddenly holding Rob’s hand for the first time EVER, and then proclaiming her love finally in public.

    Has Kristen ever spoken to the public before like she did in her apology? I honestly have no idea because I’ve never really liked her, not since she destroyed Sam Rammi’s movie The Messenger.

    I really really hope that Rob is done with this. No one deserves a partner that won’t admit they are with them, celebrity or not.

    • mine!mine!mine! says:

      I really liked that movie, even though she was in it! Admittedly it would have been better if she wasn’t in it, because she only does one freaking character which is in essense herself. Twitch and breathy.

      Lord she is a bad, bad actress.

      • mine!mine!mine! says:




        I’m stealth posting…I simply can’t lose another job to this (wonderful) site. hahaha.

    • Nola79 says:

      Only one peoblem with that senario……Liberty’s brother has come out to say, this affair started half way through production, all through post-production, premiere, all the way to now. What a disgusting human being…both of them!

  16. Venom says:


  17. Pattygirl says:

    God answers my prayer :

    Rob move out from his own home and according to
    a close friend, Rob is a very very proud man, and he doubt that he will let the tramp back in his personal life…….

  18. sjaantje says:

    LTR! I knew you would have something epic about this today and you didn’t fail us. I am happy to see I am not the only one that is happy to see Kristen’s crappy attitude come back and bite her in the ass. She has never seemed to appreciate their relationship, and if you love and respect someone you sure as hell don’t cheat on them. I am just happy they were only living together and not married. Ruining one home is bad enough.
    With that said…the Janet Jackson song “IF” came up on my iPod shuffle this afternoon and all I could think of was it being the theme song for every woman who has eyes for Rob now that he is (let’s hope he is smart about this!!) single again.

  19. Venom says:

    I read an article today that called Kristen a Trampire and I liked it.

  20. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    Oh, how my heart aches for Rob!

  21. mine!mine!mine! says:

    oh goody…everyone is still here and talking about it.

    Some wicked (and by wicked I mean really shoddy/bad) articles in the english press especially the Daily Fail or Hate (depending on your nickname for it). Extremely funny /sad video of twihard fan having a major meltdown (similary to that ‘leave britney alone’ youtube vid).
    It’s all rather surreal and frankly a little bit odd. I don’t for one minute believe that the meet up in the car was a one off momentary lapse of judgement, they’ve been at it for months, who the feck is she trying to kid. She’s sorry now she’s been caught…bloody hypocrite, and that Director guy’s no better – wife and two kids – bad, bad man.

    Have you seen the pictures of her and that director on tour promoting SWATH, I’ve never actually seen her look so happy before, she’s smiling and looking up at him in a way I’ve never seen her look at Rob. Poor Rob…come back to us Drunk Rob we’ve missed you sooooooo much.

    Didn’t she cheat on her previous boyfriend with Rob? He should’ve know better once a cheater always a cheater – well maybe not, but seriously, if you cheat on the person you are with, that should tell you something about the relationship you are in and perhaps maybe, just maybe you shouldn’t be in it.

  22. milfy goodness says:

    It is a riot seeing all the comments on here again!

    I still don’t believe Rob & KStew are a couple. I guess I’d have to see them go at it on the bear skin rug to believe. Neither of them is a good enough actor to fake that.

    As many others noted, this story is the usual array of fabulous Robsten ridiculousness. Is the best part that they “confirmed” their relationship by her apology for cheating? Or that in the 4 years of supposed dating, there’s never been a public kiss, but she gets caught sucking face with her married director on a park bench? Or the “poor Rob” headlines in all the magazines? It’s like Robsten Christmas in July!

    Hope all you lovely ladies have been doing well the past few months, years!

  23. Nellie says:

    I am still in shock. Who the f**k is dumb enough to cheat on Rob! Seriously! How dumb is this girl. She never admitted to the relationship…but she admits to cheating. Who does PR for her? they must really want to screw her over…oh wait…she did that by herself.

  24. KeepOnKeepingOn says:

    Where are the photos? They’re not on her fan site that supposedly had them anymore. I want to see all 49!

  25. Renie says:

    Gives a whole new meaning to “Park N Ride”.

  26. Pattygirl says:

    Gossip Cop seems to countering every news out there on the slut:
    they point out the fact base on their sources (her publicist):

    -hooksup only been going for the last few weeks no during shooting
    -they never had sex


  27. Pattygirl says:

    Lets just say if you offer a meat (slut) to a dog , how can they resist. Bet she sneaks on Robs room during twilight, tramp!

    Those of you still in denial or thinking this is a scenario needs to go to Robsten rehab : read US Weekly, the paps explained in detail that they ride around LA trying to find a secluded place to make out, while making out they look around to see if anyone was around, same when they were in the park , thats why more than once they look to the window……

  28. Neesie says:

    I haven’t been here in a loooong time, but just had to see what everyone was saying about this…I had hoped that their relationship was just for publicity, because honestly I was just jealous LOL! Now, with Kristen pulling this sheet, I am just heartsick. Poor Rob!

    What this says about Kristen, getting it on with a man who has a wife and 2 kids and cheating on Rob is that she is a selfish, pathetic skankho! Why would she need to boost her self esteem, when she already had Rob?!! Because she’s BORED?! Wants something bad to happen to her so she can feel some effin’ angst?!! My Gawd, what a maroon! (Have I exceeded my exclamation point usage?) OK, bottom line: Rob’s way too good for the likes of her, and I hope that he sees that finally. Luff ya Rob! Eat shit and die Kris. Oh, and sugar, everybody makes mistakes, and you made a really BIG one…..

  29. Granny Neese says:

    Yep, go back to the Old Country Rob. Improve your craft through the Brits like Colin Firth — NOT Hugh Grant. Take your time to make decisions.
    Fellow LTTers, how about on red carpets cheer for Rob. No nasty words, just DEAD SILENCE for the disgraced one. Speaks louder than nasty words….. evil grin

    • Granny Neese says:

      Actually I feel a bit mean about this. Girl has wrecked her career and credibility. The old man is the one who deserves to be emasculated playing with a girl half his age. We oldies know what it is like make bad decisions we have to live with. We’ve all made mistakes when we were young. Unless our Rob is a most amazing and forgiving man she will have to live with memories of The One who Got Away.

  30. Tink says:

    Hey, just saw KStew in a Starbucks in the Valley…she was reading the original “I Love LA” with tears streaming down her face, thinking about what she’ll be missing from now on….LOL..just kidding!

  31. Pattygirl says:

    Wow, it seems that ” US Weekly assigned FameFlynet to follow Stewart and Sanders on a tip that the two were getting busy behind closed doors, or as it looks now, even out of doors.”

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