Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry? We’d ship that

Dear Rob,

So I was talking to Brookelockart yesterday [Wait Hold the phone: You think I’m in a fight with Moon, don’t you? Since I’m spending more internet time with Brooke? I’m not. But I am in a fight with her job]

Moving on, Brookelockart & I were discussing this latest piece in Lainey Gossip about how Katy Perry wants to jump your bones.

It’s Gossip. So let’s take it with a grain of salt. But also, we’ve been hearing “Gossip” for YEARS that Katy wants to jump your bones, so can we say that maybe it is sorta somewhat maybe possibly true?

Either way, we both decided that if you and Katy decided to become a “thing” we’d TOTALLY ship it. So here are 10 reasons why you dating Katy would be good for you & us:

Cause if you dated this wouldn’t be the ONLY image available if you google “Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry”

1) She has Boobs & you like boobs

2) Katy’s bubbly personality will definitely cheer you up.

3) It would be FUN. Not serious. No one needs serious. You need FUN

4) What guy doesn’t want to bang her in her California Girls get up

5) Katy knows Snoop dog. And no doubt has access to really quality weed

6) Katy would actually like to be seen with you in public

8) And you’ll feel like a sexual superstar when fireworks shoot out of her boobs

9) Since Katy is obsessed with you, there will be an EPIC sad love ballad penned after you get bored and end it (a la Thinking of You)

10) Your dating Katy may stop all the robsten shippers from harrassing anyone slightly related to Rob or Kristen

Can we start trending #robstenisbroken #RobKatishot yet??

Love,
UnintendedChoice & Brookelockart

What do you think? Could Rob use a little Katy fun in his life?

39 Responses to “Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry? We’d ship that”

  1. Tigerkitren36 says:

    As much as I like this..someone to date who’s fun and would love to be seen in public with Rob. I can’t get past Russell Brand or John Mayer being there first. ((((Shutter))). Rob needs a nice girl that would be all those things, just maybe not Katy.
    Anyone else to ship?

  2. Jess says:

    Yes, but I’m not sure if I like the idea of Rob going where Russell Brand has been…. 😉

  3. Don’t let UC kid you, I totally SWF’d Moon.

  4. LadyN says:

    I CALLED IT! I knew it kniew it knewit!

    It would be nice. She’s a nice gal. Though she a bit nuts and a bit much for clumsy, awkward, a lil-bit-more-tamer-than-her Rob. She’d eat him alive. And maybe thats not a bad thing… Guys like to be eaten. I’m sure Rob does too. I mean, I would. Wow this turned dirty.

    Que sera, sera! Have that Perry! You lucky B%$TCH

    ps. did you really just link to the old Letters to Rob boobs post? GAH! the memoriessssssss.

  5. niahid says:

    Did y’all forget that Rob’s been in the Trampire?
    Katy is an upgrade,
    Get it Rob!!!
    He likes nut girls.

  6. MariaCecilia says:

    Weeelll, sure Rob can date anyone he likes, and Katy seems like fun, but a) I’m not impressed with her taste in men so far, and therefore I distrust her taste in music, movies, books, pets, wine and other serious stuff that makes a relationship work and
    b) I think Rob should try dating an older woman at this point 😉 Mary Louise Parker is hot, and seems adequately nuts. Just an example… Keep shipping, though; I bet the line of would-be girlfriends is long enough!

  7. roslynselene says:

    I’d ship it. After I got dragged in to see her movie documentary thingy, she seemed like a nice person. 🙂
    But I’d rather ship Jenbert/Lawrinson. ::sigh:: Why hasn’t this happened? *cries* Can’t they at least be friends?! (Whoa… I can already tell, if this ever happened, I’d be the equivalent to a hardcore Robsten shipper. I can’t have that happening D: )

    • Maggie says:

      OMG, Ros! How did I not know you were a Jenbert shipper! I would so lose my cookies if those two were ever together. If anyone reading this has never seen JL being interviewed, go look her up right now! She’s Rob’s female doppelganger (personality, not looks…duh, although she does have hotness!). I would so ship them to the Goonight Moon and back!!

  8. JodieO says:

    11. She married Russell Brand, so she’ll probably think that you are super tidy and hygenic!

    Actually, I’m still shipping Rob with Lauren Culpepper. Anyone else remember her from the old days? TEAM PATTIPEPPER4EVAH!

    I’d also ship him with Jennifer Lawrence if she wasn’t already dating an androgynous English model/actor that I want to bone although he’s enough younger than me to be creepy.

  9. LadyN says:

    You know who he would be great with too? Kay Dennings from Broke Girls. They had a fabulous photoshoot together and looked gorgeous together. AND she has big boobs.

    Another would be Hayley Williams from Paramore. That interview for MySpace back in the day. I saw some definite flirting there! Always crossed my fingers for them. I left Hayley a message on FB to get on that.

    Older women is my other option. Cougars galore all over the place around here. Wink, wink. Yes.

    2 cents.

    • roslynselene says:

      Kat Dennings! Yes! She’s so sassy and sarcastic! Lol I absolutely love 2 Broke Girls and her movie “Daydream Nation”.

  10. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Um, Eva Green. She’s gorgeous, weird, and nerdy. PERFECTION. Plus she plays piano and is a film buff. And can actually act and has a terrific sexy voice.

    In terms of other lips she’s exchanged fluids with…Daniel Craig and Ewan McGregor come to mind (at least in films). THat’s enviable and Rob really is the next logical saliva depositor. Oh…the DNA she’s had in her mouth. We should all be so lucky.

    http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/11/evagreen_portfolio200711/jcr:content/par/cn_contentwell/par-main/cn_slideshow/item4.rendition.slideshowVertical.cusl05_evagreen0711.jpg

  11. Kaybeevee says:

    Yeah, I want him to have a fling with an older woman FIRST and then maybe marry Jennifer Lawrence. I like Katy Perry but no.

    I could TOTALLY ship him with Kate Winslet. Can you imagine them showing up to the Oscars together? Kill me now.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      YES. He must at least rebound with Kate. At minimum. They would be adorable and you just can’t hate her. You can’t. Even the heartiest most stark raving mad Robstener would have to admit the potential in that pairing. My hearrrrtttT willll gooooo onnnnn with Robbbbbbbinslet!! Oh my. I love playing the part of perverted auntie-type matchmaker.

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Yes, yes, yes! Kate seems supersweet and down to earth and is totally gorgeous. Couldn’t they have a couple of kids while they’re at it, because that British super-DNA should be preserved for posterity…MI5 – get on it! Robslet it is..

  12. kandnandb says:

    EMMA. WATSON. You know Hermione wanted to ride Cedric’s broomstick.

  13. Kaybvee says:

    Robbbbbbbbbbbbbinslet!!!!!! Yes, she is hate proof. AND THEY WOULD BE SO HOT. I think she’s been dating (doinking) younger men since her divorce too.

    Nat, please write this Robinslet Fanfic STAT. I need this in my life.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      “Oh no. God, no. I wasn’t told that he was auditioning,” Kate whispered to her manager, who was sitting next to her in the front row. Kate had her pick of male leads. She’d already picked Gosling for the part of Moon in the Broadway reboot of Goodnight Moon. He had the right brightness, the right presence, the right glow. If ever there was a moon grown women thanked in their last wakeful moment, it was Ryan.

      Plus he could dance. She didn’t know he could dance. It was a pleasant surprise. What a marvelous night.

      Then Rob took the stage. He wasn’t on the male lead list. Ryan was the shoo-in. It had been discussed. It had been decided. What the hell was Rob doing?

      He was dressed in a dark suit, and carried an arrow. “Why is the Moon carrying an arrow?” she whispered to her manager. He shrugged.

      Rob motioned for the lights to dim. As they did she could make out the glow-paint dots painted on his his suit. They were in a formation. It looked like…Orion? Yes,
      Orion, the Hunter whom Artemis was so infatuated with that she forgot to light up the moon.

      He looked right at her and began his speech. He spoke right to her, as if he knew her. As if he’d always known her. As if he was the first bedtime story she could remember, her wish before sleep, her one steady constant. Kate felt weak. She felt…forgetful.

      What moon?What play. For her, it was only Orion and Orion forevermore.

  14. April says:

    am I the only one wondering where #7 went?

  15. Kaybvee says:

    Dying. Dead. Gone. Nat you have killed me again. Now I can’t read that to my kids anymore!

    I love them already. How do we make this hook up happen?

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      You know what? We need to write Goodnight Rob. Then you can read it to your kids every night. It would be a best seller (there could be an alternate Goodnight Ryan version, I GUESS). (And maybe a Goodnight Towel from Cosmopolis, too).

      You are the ones with the celeb connections, K! Call someone. Tweet someone. Does Kate have a Twitter? Start sending her Rob photos. I can’t do this because I think I reached my drunk tweet quota for the week last night (and I wasn’t even drunk…I just sounded it!). You are normal. She’ll trust you.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      OK, clearly needs some work. First draft.

      Goodnight Towel:

      Goodnight toe fungus
      Goodnight Towel

      Good night head slumping under the Towel

      Goodnight holes
      And book about holes

      Goodnight people in the park
      Goodnight the park behind the library

      Goodnight merchant copy
      Goodnight customer copy

      Goodnight baht
      And goodnight watch

      Goodnight mutton
      And goodnight mush

      And goodnight to the almost dead guy in the stairwell
      whispering hush

      Goodnight limosine that displaces air
      Goodnight prime numbers everywhere.

      Goodnight, Towel.

      • MariaCecilia says:

        Wow. Margaret Wise Brown meets Don DeLillo. You just redefined Children’s Lit 101.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Oh, I have all sorts of ideas.

          Good Towel, Benno (Good Dog, Carl) – wherein a mother leaves her toddler child in custody of Benno Levin all day. They have fun with guns, cutting holes in porta-potties, doing the mirror over mouth test to see if the guy in the stairwell is actually dead or what, converting baht to yen, discussing Icarus, and identifying rare disorders that plague men. Then she comes home and it is all good.

          The Very Angry Pie Assassin (The Very Hungry Caterpiller) – Shows the slow transformation of an Occupy protester into a pie assasin. As the pie bakes in the oven, he transforms and is ready to start his new life.

          Maybe also start a series of Cosmopolis books illustrated a la Richard Scarry. Super detail shot of NYC – woman with water bottle running, pie guy, Benno at ATM (lowly worm waiting behind him), Packer in a banana-shaped limosine, people holding giant rat being thwarted by that character that is always crashing his car into something, some guy on fire being extinguised by the helpful fox firefighter. You know, mayhem mixed with cute little critters.

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            oops should be caterpillar, not caterpiller

          • MariaCecilia says:

            Yes! Richard Scarry book! Then don’t forget to include the buttons with annoying sound effects! Gun shots, sirens, sex noises, Rob whispering sweet nothings about the yen..

      • Maggie says:

        To Nat and Mr. Towel: Jeez, you two….get a room already!

  16. Vera says:

    I may ship R & K, but what about Jennifer Lawrence? And I’m not thinking it in a Twilight/THG crossover way… I honestly think they’d be hilarious. And I found some awesome manips out there…

    http://mrpattinson.tumblr.com/post/21220493738

    This is totally wrong though… there’s no way he’d be looking at the camera

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Rob: *thinking hard* Keep-looking-at-the-camera, keep-looking-at-the-camera LOOK! BOOBS! No! Keep-looking-at-the-camera…

  17. Pattygirl says:

    Another person i want to ship Rob with is Rihana = Robana

    They will make beautiful music together. Really wanted to tweet MTV/Josh to make it happen….

  18. Robfanhere2 says:

    I don’t think Katy likes Rob like that guys. I don’t think Rob is Katy’s type.

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