Heinekens all around! It’s LTR’s 3rd Anniversary!

Dear Rob,

new LTR motto

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, so pass me a beer and let’s cheers to UC and Moon on 3 years of writing letters to you! I realize they aren’t always the most flattering, sometimes a little fan girly and almost always snarky, but you have to hand it to UC and Moon — finding material to write to you when you disappear for days, isn’t the easiest thing to do. I think you should get their fan cards laminated for an anniversary gift (and maybe leave your phone number on the back).

In honor of this happy occasion, I decided to surprise the girls by breaking into the blog and talking to some longtime friends about their favorite posts. So enjoy! (How could you not, it’s all about you!?)

Today’s fellow guests, please introduce yourselves and how long have you been reading?

Read_or_sleep: Summer 2009
Cazza: March 2009
PlaneFriend: Reading Since: About 5 seconds after this post. When I saw Stephenie was going to have fansites interview her, I decided to go looking at the fansites. All the others I just glanced at, read a page or two, and never went back to again. Within days, I was reading most of the LTT backlogs…realized I knew UC a few weeks later, started writing for y’all occasionally, and the rest in history.
Stacey: March 2010
LonestarKendall: March 2009
Rachel B, formerly GriffsSayWhat: Winter 2009
Alice_NaA  – Bella_NaA : A  long long time ago, when palatial pads and hot pocket fortresses where yet to be built, Summit was not to blame, TomStu still shaved, Bobbygee shared his wisdom, AmanDUH  was working her living room corners, the Pattinson pants were in style, and Oregano was not just an Italian herb.
superhumanmoron: January 2009
MrsKowski: I’ve been reading since March of 2009. The post that started it all for me was the “This is how you found us? Vol. 2”  it was linked on NewMoonMovie.org – my world has not been the same since I made the decision to click on that link.
Snowwhitedrifted: January 2010
Janetrigs: February 2009
Allryans: April 2009, actually since THIS post.
Operarose: August 2009
TeamSeth: September 16, 2009

And if you don’t know me, I’m Brookelockart and have been starting trouble since March 2009.

Which posts have made you snarfle your drink while reading?

Read_or_sleep: Four Words.  WE ARE THE ROB.  What happened to that song? When UC, Moon and special guests broke down the Details pictures.   Most sites were basically just drooling and LTR made it look as if they were seriously analyzing the pictures.  That time UC (I think) made the mother trucker profile for Ron when he was on the road trip from CA to NOLA.
Cazza: Pattinson Pants lady at ComicCon “she lives”….she was a celebrity in her own right but just didn’t know it!!!
LonestartKendall: Ahhh, the list is too long. TOO LONG. Anything by the Quad – those were always amazing,
Alice_NaA: What’s Remember Me about. I actually found LTR that way… by googling “what’s remember me about”. No lie. I then spent the entire day giggling about the city housing code loophole and recreational vehicles part. I also learned many fancy words here at LTT/LTR, it’s all about education.
SHM: Creepy Uncle Rob.  I may have peed a little.  That’s when I knew I had found my people.
Allryans: I have a continuous heartquake. I’m pretty sure that I could not hold it together watching this video of your incognito dramatic poetry reading.

Like most passionate relationships, there’s a little bit of love and hate. Which post made you love him or hate him more?

Read_or_sleep: I wouldn’t say this post made me love Ron any more or less.   It just left me feeling confused,
Rachel B: I love the “jumping Rob” because that picture gave us endless hours of photoshopping entertainment!
Alice_NaA: Hate -> the time he was driving a green Porsche. Love -> That it’s normal to disrespect Rob nice and slow.

not hot, nope.

Bella_NaA: Hate -> the wonky Cosmopolis hair. Was he trying to one-up TomStu and his monkey beard?
SWD: The epic Chart-O-Robs. I like having a choice.
Janetrigs:  PSA I have been Cyber Bullied, – This made me HATE Ron because it showed me how there was this crazy rift in the once powerful singular unit known as Twi/Ron fan. This meant that my friends may or may not hate each other over reasons that seem ridiculous, and thus I hated him for causing the rift, because it’s always the man’s fault. I loved Ron again, not after a LTT or LTR post, but when I saw DTR or Dirty Train Ron filming pics of Water for Elephants. There is something about DTR.
Allryans: HATE: (the real hate, not the Janetrigs kind).  Not only did Rob completely botch this joke in the most unfunny, unendearing way ever, but REESE had to save him from it, and no one is worse than Reese. NO ONE.
Teamseth: This post made me love Ron more or this post made me love him less. I did my duty. Rob is not for me.

Great picks! I love Photo-shoot Ron (think GQ), but real life Ron may not be for me!

Continue…

36 Commented

Rob’s Hair: Don’t even pretend that “thing” looks good…

Dear Rob,

Call me a “fake fan” or whatever you wish, but I will NOT make excuses for this hair.

This half-hipster-Hilter-Youth, half brain-surgery-survivor-head look was NOT a pleasant surprise when you showed up to Comic Con yesterday:

I can’t tell whether you look more like a dinosaur:

Or like a model in an ad from the 80s encouraging people to visit USSR, re-used today encouraging people to visit Russia:

You even have me believing Robsten MUST be true love because I don’t know how else Kristen could stay with you while your hair is like this:

PSST Rob, I think you forgot to brush your hair or something this morning. People are laughing

It’s such a distraction, and not in a good way, that I could’t even laugh when, after Josh Horowitz asked how you prepared for the famed “Sex scene” you joked you just “Lubed up and jumped right into it.”

You’ll be glad to know Moon said it didn’t look as bad in person. So you better get over to Philly QUICK so I can see that mess in person before I shut down LTR.

Okay there really isn’t a threat of shutting down LTR because it’s just hair & it WILL grow back. But still. Until it does, go back into hiding so I can pretend you just look like this:

Love (yes, still, love),
UnintendedChoice

Am I horrible (no, but his hair is) YES I know it’s for “That movie” but EW.. Dude.. hes worn a hat to Comic Con before… why wouldn’t he wear one AGAIN? Is he PROUD of that look? It’s bad. It’s really bad. You can be honest. This place is safe. Share how you REALLY feel

Missed the craziness? Robsessed has the best pics here:  And by Best, I mean all the pics of Rob’s hair that will make you cry

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

125 Commented

Debbert- A story of True Love

Dear Rob,

Today’s LTR is going to be a bit different. You see last week I was forwarded a Rob Pattinson fan fiction. You heard that right. Rob Pattinson. It was written by Debbie- a story about the love between her and Rob. Moon & I discussed how we needed to present this. Should we do a dramatic reading? What if we wrote a screenplay & made a film? But then we were sent a break-down that our friends Amber & LiLI (from Shack of Soul) did one day instead of working. And after we stopped working to read, and cried and laughed and cried some more, we decided we couldn’t keep this to ourselves. This is long. There are no pictures. This is very unedited and there are timestamps. But This is WORTH EVERY MINUTE you will spend reading it.

Sadly, the fic has now disappeared or been locked up (It was originally found here) but it started out with pictures (pictures of what seem to be the actual people the fic characters are based on) of Debbie, her bff & family, her mom & step dad, Ken, her priest (I think) The Band Strypr. It makes sense when you read the break down. Sorta. And the first time Debbie & Rob get errr sexual she describes wearing a “beige bra.” So if you ever hear us tweeting/making reference to a beige bra (or if I text you a picture of my own) that’s where the joke comes from.

In case you don’t have time read it all (but seriously- YOU NEED TO) here are the “chapters” of the break-down you can scroll through to get a taste. You won’t be sorry. Well, unless this is really you, Rob, reading this. Then you’ll probably be sorry.

But since you’re going to listen to me and read the entire thing, you can do that after the jump! Continue…

110 Commented

Breaking Dawn stills leaked! We recreate the madness!

*might sorta/maybe/not really contain spoilers*

Don't Look!!

Dear Rob,

If you were anywhere near Twitter yesterday day around 1130PST (and why would you have been you’re not ON twitter so just go with it) you would have noticed the sudden barrage of of tweets containing half words like ZOMG, DIED, UNF, ooommmmhhhggg!! or “holy mother of edward” (that was mine). No it wasn’t Cathi Hardi’s much ballyhooed audition tape. Someone who clearly does not fear the law or the wrath of a movie studio posted approx 10 photos from Breaking Dawn. And they weren’t just Edward and Bella in the meadow looking lovely dovey… these were HOLYCRAPARETHEYDOINGTHATAREHISHANDSONTHEHEADBOARD good!!! We’re talking Edward and Bella sex scenes from Isle Esme and Beller is a Vampire pics! It seems ironic now that last week was “virgin” week on Letters To Twilight and now we see the devirginization before our very eyes!

Of course about .3 seconds after the twitters exploded (along with everyone’s pants and brains) the powers that be cease and desisted that ish. So since lots of people missed out (as witnessed by the mountain of texts I received) and because we don’t want to get our arse’s sued we present you a dramatic reenactment of the images AND the Twitter commentary…

11:15AM-ish
UC and I have a pathetic discussion on who is older Marlena or Jacob? Without access to our WFE books at work (not fans) we take to twitter to ask. After about 34857 tweets where we came to no consensus someone drops the bomb link

Moon: *LINK TO PICS*
Moon: GO NOW!!!! before its gone!!
UC: the vid?
Moon: no! down!!! scroll down!!
UC: omg!OMGhahahsaving
UC: omg i did WHOA!!!!

@LTT
holy mother of edward!!!

@LTT
Just told Moon “Beller is a Vampire!”

@LTT
This is my favorite day. This is the person who is responsible for the BD pics leaking’s WORST day.

@CalliopeBlabs
you can hear them panting.

@LTT
I’m pretty sure I look just as amazing when Mr. choice & I are getting it on. Just Sayin’. Except generally I’m in my Edward Cullen shirt..

@Late2thePartee
The bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz heard around the globe 😉

amberjo_cullen
@letter2twilight OME! OME! OME! OME! AHHH! CAPS LOCK DOES NOT FULLY EXPRESS MY FANGIRLY JOY!

@TwiFans
#headboardismylifenow <~love this hash tag.

(it’s weird how close to the leaks the manips are, right?)

@heatherensley
@letter2twilight i am late to this party, but. . . holy mary mother of god! i’ll be a mormon if it goes down like THAT.

@MsJBell
Srsly tho… the fireplace? Really? It’s like a @letter2twilight post come true.

@kellyprovence
i also love the one where her hand is on his chest and his eyes are closed. #TheyDoThatInRealLife

@fortheloveofRK
HOLY FUCKING SHIT HER KNEES ARE UP TO HIS SHOULDERS #THRUST

(imagine this as a video and it moving up and down and flexing)

@AmberRMW
I want to unsee these pics. They are too much. But like any good porn, they are now SEARED into my brain.

@LTT
im REALLY hoping a robstener somewhere is furiously cobbling together a sepia toned video of these pics set to endless love by lionel richie

@tinkrbe1l3
*tears* RT @stephabelle77: @tinkrbe1l3 looks like he rips her shirt off? UNF!

@JodieO
@chrisweitz It’s nothing fans haven’t been photoshopping for two years anyway. #ZOMBGEdwardAndBellerDOIT

@Rzanne
‘Hide yo’ hardrives hide yo’ emails,hide yo’ twitpic we gonna find u we gonna find u’ #summitlawyers http://bit.ly/cuspdB ‘so dumb so dumb’

If you only have 2 seconds today to catch up on Rob or Twi news read this tweet:

@PinkFluffGirl
@BrookeLockart rob’s all rawr, headboard, vampy my bella, careful, careful. Kristen’s like bitch. and. Face.

Dude even Ted C, E and some other “big” news sources linked to the pics, CLEARLY the beast needs to be fed (and unf-ed apparently) so hopefully someone was listening today!

*UPDATE* As of 8somethingPM PST some crazy started tweeted another butt load of leaked images from BD which I won’t even pretend to be able to recreate with fan manips. God save their soul from the depths of the firey pit they’re about to be in for leaking those images. BEYOND crazy.

So Rob… half of twitter has seen your bedroom moves and has said some super embarrassing not-printable-here stuff that I shant repeat… Hope you’re tucked away nice and safe like today in Vancouver because there are cougars and pumas and sabertooths on the loose looking for your ass.

Can’t wait to see Breaking Dawn!
Themoonisdown

*none of these are actual leaks. I sure hope you could tell that from my shotty photoshop jobs. These were made solely from fan manips from google images and my own mouse*

DO NOT POST ANY OF THOSE PICTURES IN OUR COMMENTS OR LINK TO THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU! We like our lives and our money. Thx.

So did you see them? Did you see Twitter self destruct yesterday? Did you see ALL the images (and video!) or did you shield your eyes! Are you a purity ring wearing, no spoiler type of person?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

97 Commented

Is there no more good-bad Rob art out there!?

Dear Rob,

Do you know what I miss? Really bad fan art. Where did it go? We RARELY see those gems anymore. What happened to all the bad artists? Are they “over” you? Did they find out we’re making fun of them here on LTR? Did they move on to Justin Bieber fan art? But don’t they know how artsy crafts & household items are just begging to be crocheted upon with Jumping Rob? I spent a good 1/2 hour searching for “Really bad, absolutely horrid, Laughing my ass off hilarious Rob Fan Art” online and just didn’t find much.

My one January wish is just for one big LOL art piece like this one from last year:

Why aren’t people photo-shopping you as a fat guy anymore? Do they think we’ve seen it enough we’re no longer laughing? False. We’re laughing. Give Rob big cheeks & small eyes any day and you’re going to hear me laugh out loud. You know how I really want to see you, Rob? In Braces- I DARE one of you 9th grade art school drop outs to put some braces on Rob’s chompers.

Well, my search wasn’t completely hopefully. I did come across a drawing of you channeling a closeted lesbian from the 1800s.

And of course anytime someone draws you as “Drag Queen Rob” it brings in the major laughs:

and I can’t figure out what happened here. It looks like you but……I’m pretty sure this is after you went gay & became the headliner on the Gay Christian singing tour (it exists. Moon went to a show):

And while Etsy’s collection of Rob Pattinson crafts is now down to only TWELVE (twelve!? Was there a big flea market at the Catholic church lately and you all ran out of crafts? Come ON people!), there are still a few gems: Got a new sweater for Christmas? Here’s the PERFECT accessory to Jazz it up!

Do you have deep dark secrets that are only fitting to scribble in a creepy journal? Are YOU the one who keeps sending flowers to Claire Pattinson on every holiday? Did you somehow end up with a 2010 Pattinson family Christmas candid shot with the help of a ladder, mirrors & a black mask? Then THIS journal is for you:

(in other news, THIS journal of hers I actually like!)

And my personal favorite of the finds: I call this one “Rob Pattinson does Coccaine”

And of course this one is called: “Mommy needs to keep the pencils away from her child when she’s talking under her breath about how “If Mr. Pattinson was your daddy, he would always do the things you’re REAL daddy doesn’t do” and thinks her child isn’t listening”

While the aren’t the gems of 2009 & 2010, really bad Rob art is still out there for our pleasure, thankfully!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Have I been in a black hole? Or is Good/Bad Rob art really harder & harder to find? Have YOU seen anything good/bad lately?

Oh ps, I found all of this by googling “Rob Pattinson Fan art”

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

116 Commented