It’s the very important birthday of a very important Rob-blogger

Dear Rob,

You don’t mind taking the backseat today while we celebrate the very super duper important birthday of my most favorite co-blogger ever, right? Good. (Just think of today like any other Wednesday so far in 2012!)

Dear Moon,

In celebration of your birthday today, I thought long & hard (TWSS) about the things you love in life. And I came up with this very extensive list: Hello Kitty, Rob, Music, Your Niece. <– (super impressive, huh?) Armed with my list in hand, I asked the girls of The Flat to create some original creations surrounding your favorite things. This was the result:

Hello Rob




Oh yeah, somehow Jackson snuck in here


We know how you like to Google things

Who doesn't like Mr. Darcy, Rob?

And of course if wouldn’t be from the girls of The Flat without a poem:

We’ like to say this clear and loud,
That you should feel so very proud,
This flat your very own creation,
Forged from your imagination,

You made a home you called Robs Flat,
Where we can meet to sit and chat,
Together we would like to say,
We wish you such a Happy Day!

Your birthday wish inside this ditty,
We hope is filled with Hello Kitty,
Champagne, and wine, and birthday cake,
And gifs of Ron and trouser snake,

Pics of puppies, favourite nieces,
and all the peeps you love to pieces,
And many more pics you can oogle,
Through an image search at Bing (!) or Google,

We wish you sunshine, luck and flowers,
Money, love and super powers,
Hugs and kisses, favourite food,
And funny jokes (both clean and rude.)

Belly laughs, Best Friends Forever,
Memories you’ll always treasure,
We wish you ALL of the above,
From all the Flat ladies, with love.

Happy Birthday to my dear friend & Twilight life partner Moon. May your day be filled with Hello kitty, babies, Rob, music & all the other things I forgot you like like Diet Coke & Taco Trucks. Love from everyone here at LTR (Rob too, I bet!)



Thanks to the gals at The Flat for their help specifically: JodieO, GuitarGirl, AmynKansas, Alexandra & everyone else!! XOXO

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30 Commented

Rob is probably in Sweden today. And this is why…

If you remember back in the glory days of LTR (ps I miss those days) we would occasionally teach Rob about holidays he wasn’t familiar with. Some of my favorites in the series were written by Zees84 like Rob gets Hebrew-schooled and The one where Zees explains Chanukah to Rob (and not just because I got ao photoshop a yamaka on Rob) Well last year MariaCecilia emailed us about Valpuris night but I responded too late. This year I remembered (cuz she reminded me) and so here without further ado is an explanation of a holiday made for Rob. Because all you do is drink:

Dear Rob,

No, Rob. You don't have to wear your yamaka. (Yes. I just wanted to post this picture again)

Today is April 30th– a holiday I’m sure you’re familiar with- Valpuris Night. And if you’re not, well, I’m here to tell you: This should really interest you, since the central theme of this fine holiday is to get drunk as early as possible in the day and then stay drunk through the next 24 hours. (It’s really supposed to be about greeting spring and scaring winter off with fires or something like that, but nobody remembers anymore.)

April 30 in my hometown is the only day of the year when there are people milling around the city center with an open beer in their hand and a plastic bag filled with the day’s stash of alcohol in their other hand from 10 in the morning. Mostly it’s students, but there are also quite a number of teenagers and middleaged people joining in. Do the police here have a different policy to public drinking than they do in the US or Britain, you may ask? No, but let’s face it, with the city centre swarming with tens of thousands of local and visiting drunks and a police force in the hundreds, you have to focus on the important parts, like arresting the violent ones, rescuing the unconscious, and carting the 13 to 17-year-olds you find drunk home to their (hopefully sober) parents.

So this is how you do it: The day begins at around 8am with a champagne breakfast at a friend’s house. Strawberries are traditional with the champagne, but don’t be surprised if you are served hot oatmeal too. Disgusting or not, that is also part of the tradition here. After all, if you’re going to stay on your feet all day, you will need the energy!

Yes. You're allowed to get drunk with your red-headed cousin again

After breakfast you move to the city centre, with your plastic bag and beer firmly in your hands, and battle the crowds for a front row place close to the river. At 10 o’clock the traditional student river race begins: carried by the spring flood, students from different student clubs compete on rafts they have constructed in the preceding week. The more fanciful, the better: imagine floats in a parade, but on the river. Naturally, quite a few of them collapse going down the rapids, but that’s all part of the fun and games. Hopefully the champagne hasn’t gone to your head, because you need to look out for enthusiastic people throwing eggs and firecrackers around: all in festive spirits of course. Please buy me a balloon on the way, ‘cause this is one of the few occasions when there are balloon salesmen walking around town. A silver heart or a unicorn would be nice, thank you!

Afterwards, it’s time to head out for your next date with friends: the traditional herring lunch. At another friend’s house, you are served pickled herring, boiled potatoes, hardboiled eggs, sour cream and chives, hard bread and cheddar cheese, and everything that goes with a herring lunch. With lots of schnapps and beer, of course! And for every schnapps you drink you learn a new song, since toasts are done with singing in this country. (You won’t know a single song, so I suggest you just move your lips and shout “Skål!” at the end of it. I do that all the time. )

Sure Drunk Rob. You can show up looking like Johnny Depp

Reeling slightly, you need to get a move on again around 2.30, to be able to make it to the traditional donning of student caps outside the University library downtown. The traffic has been redirected since the hill outside the library is now packed with thousands of people, waiting for the Rector Magnificus of the University to step out onto the balcony with his prominent guests, and at exactly 3 o’clock put his student cap on his head. (You can borrow mine, and no one will think it strange if it doesn’t fit. After all, there are people in their seventies here, sporting student caps yellow with age, and your head probably grew bigger after graduation, right?)

The action on the balcony is a sign for everyone else to wave their caps, shout Hurrah and put them on. Tradition now requires you to turn around and run all the way down the Castle hill, but since we are thousands packed tightly together we will hopefully manage to move at a dignified pace, milling down together towards the city centre, without having anyone throw up on us or get trampled to death. This is probably the point where I lose my balloon.

Now we head to one of the student clubs, where there will be music, dancing and champagne at 3.15. Unfortunately, some people think that the champagne should be sprayed around instead of served in plastic mugs, so there is a chance you will get more soaked than before, unless you brought a raincoat. When you have got your fill, and unless you need to go home and change, we are then heading out to one of the major parks in town, where you will find your friends on a blanket with more beer and a disposable grill. The rest of the afternoon until early evening will be spent drinking and eating sausages with potato salad and drunk people watching.

Yeah... we pretty much assumed you'd be bringing Tom and reenacting THIS picture..

If you’re lucky, you have a ticket to one of the student balls this evening, the most prestigious one takes place in the Castle itself and is hosted by the University choir, but there are plenty of student clubs, so I’m sure we’ll get you in somewhere. Since I would love to see you in tails, I vote for the Castle, where there will be a three-course meal and dancing to a live band afterwards, if you are still able to stand up. Keep some cash on hand for the bar!

If we don’t get in, however, we can at least go see one of the Valpurgis fires that are lit around 8 o’clock on different spots on the outskirts of town, usually with someone making speeches hailing spring and choirs singing, fireworks and more firecrackers. Then we rush back to the Castle to catch the traditional concert outside the Castle by the University choir, singing songs to spring, after the tolling of the University bell outside the Castle at 9 o’clock. By now you may have run out of beer, and we need to buy some more off some disreputable character out of the trunk of his car, or tag along with friends who still got some.

We will spend the rest of the night going from party to party, or just hanging around downtown trying to get in somewhere, acting like the crazy belligerent drunks we are. We will probably fall asleep in the grass of a public park among the trash of the day, and wake up at 7, wet and cold from the dew, to stagger home through a town where the clean-up crews are working hard to prepare the town for the more sober 1st of May celebration with demonstrations and political speeches. Hopefully none of us will get mugged, beat up or raped, if we keep away from the darkest part of the parks after midnight, where the police and charity organizations try to keep an eye out for helpless drunks in danger.

And then we spend the 1st of May nursing our hangovers, which is also traditional, and something I’m sure you feel familiar with. Let’s have our Spring fling and share my Valpurgis party with me, Rob!

Love MariaCecilia

Think we’ll get anything GOOD out of Rob being in Vancouver for reshoots?  Maybe he’ll hang out by that church again? You know the one!

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8 Commented

New Year’s Rob-solutions for 2012!

New Year, new calendar of old pictures!

Dear Rob,

We’ve made it another year, it’s 2012! So of course that means it’s time to see how we did on 2011’s resolutions to see whether the people who wanted us to fail won or if WE won (spoiler: we didn’t!). Let’s take a look back shall we?

1. We want to meet Rob

Verdict – FAIL! Thanks for Mike Welch. I think we all remember me being Rob blocked on the Red Carpet at this years Breaking Dawn Premiere… will I ever live down the infamous “ROB!!! ROOOOBBB!!! ROOOOOBBBBB!!” as Mike Welche stands two inches from me being interviewed. OH WELL!
UC/Moon: 0
People who want us to fail: 1
Mike Welch: 1

2. We resolve for Rob to mention us or something we’ve said in an interview like he did with Leno and emails from his dad! We need a fuckyearyangosling moment! (Ryan Gosling read some “FuckYeahRyanGoslings” in an MTV interview! Be still my heart!) Or someone needs to show him Rob Porn during an interview. And not the kind where his face is superimposed over a porn star’s naked body! He needs to read a caption over his picture about alphabetizing romance novels. Or asking for directions.
Verdict – FAIL! Well, since we didn’t get to meet or ask one measly question on the red carpet this didn’t happen… BUT if by Rob signing our pal’s RON poster at the premiere counts as an inside joke or ours then YES! There’s always this year!
UC/Moon: 0
People who want us to fail: 2
Mike Welch: 1

We're your biggest fans!!! Not you Rob... Norm's.

3. We resolve for Moon & Amber from Rob My world to start their own Norman’s Rare Guitar’s street team. It’s basically started- one day, not so long ago on my PERSONAL Facebook, I noticed both Moon AND Amber had “Liked” the Norman’s Rare Guitar’s page. Of course it wasn’t random. It was on the day Rob was seen buying a new guitar. And of course within 10 minutes there were 20 people commenting who know exactly why they liked that obscure California shop!
Verdict – Half fail, because while there was no street team Amber and I did “share” and comment to each other on all Norm’s Rare Guitars Facebook posts. So essentially we’re Norm’s most active users so because of that this is a win!
UC/Moon: 1
People who want us to fail: 2
Mike Welch: 1

Nope, still pretty hot

4. Try not to be turned on by the sight of Rob near a huge smelly pile of elephant crap during the water for elephants premiere!
Verdict – Total fail. I don’t know about UC but pretty much any time Rob was on screen during Water for Elephants I thought he was hot… well minus the cross dressing/clown look in that one scene
UC/Moon: 1
People who want us to fail: 3
Mike Welch: 1

5. To be less annoyed at Rob’s disappearance from my life- or maybe just for him to show up.. ANYWHERE! To go for lunch and undies shopping with TomStu again!!! Maybe buy a hot pocket in public! Get lost near a church, Break up with KStew or admit he actually has a cardboard tent in his living room. He could try a new girlfriend out for awhile. Maybe check himself into rehab. ANYTHING! Literally ANYTHING. We’ll take it! Maybe be seen out in public with MULTIPLE different women. Be a player for a few days! How about he sleeps with me a fan? Take advantage of me the plethora of attractive girls into him! He would get major me HOT tail (or at least me attractive game on week nights!) And he wouldn’t even have to buy them gifts! Or remember their names! No one expects that at all. They just expect to steal a dirty sock and leave. Or maybe twitpic his O-face. Or audio-record his moans. Or snores. Or the sound his teeth make while chewing on a hot pocket while in bed……(I haven’t put much thought into that. At all)

Verdict – I’m going to count this one as a win. There were times we were definitely annoyed that he disappeared but I think after three years we’ve figured out Rob likes to pull disappearing acts so we’re not terribly surprised when he up and leaves us for WEEKS on end. Thanks Rob… but I guess he should also know by now that those are the times when we get to make up the craziest stuff about him. So take your pick friend.
UC/Moon: 2
People who want us to fail: 3
Mike Welch: 1

Final count on 2011’s Robsolutions? UC/Moon: 2, People who want us to fail: 3 and Mike Welch: 1. So suck it Mike Welch we beat you by ONE in our OWN Rob-solutions. But you still won where it counted… on the black carpet! AHHH!!!!
So since we’re all about failing let’s make some NEW Rob-solutions for 2012 and see if we can beat that blasted Mike Welch at his own game. Who can we cock block on the red carpet?! KIDDING.

2012 New Year’s Rob-solutions 

1. Since we’re also glutton’s for punishment we’re going to try to talk to Rob again on the red carpet and Mike Welch be damned. If it involves stilts and a megaphone we’ll do whatever it takes. So if you’re going to be at BD2 premiere bring your ear plugs and riot gear cause “ROB!!! ROOOOBBB!!!” Part 2 will be in full effect.

Yup, we'll be seeing this... first (or like 1000th) in line!

2. We are resolving to see all of Rob’s movies in a timely fashion this year, like in the first week they release. So yes, Bel Ami even after our apathy with you, we will be there with corsets and bells on. Cause we love Rob… even when he looks all sweaty and syphilis-y.

3.  Ok, since we know Rob signed the Ron poster and we’re hoping he just doesn’t need new glasses we resolve that we want someone in Rob’s family or a cast member/work friend to call him Ron in some sort of public arena. If our iPhone autocorrect turns Rob into Ron then theirs must too!

4. We’re going to perfect our eye sex game so we can creep out Sam Bradley more than he creeps out us with his special brand of eye sex at an upcoming concert. *shudder*

5. With a straight face, cover one of Rob’s songs at Karaoke night. If one of his is not available, and let’s face it they probably won’t be at 98% of karaoke places, we must cover a song that is special to Rob/Robsten (ie Sex on Fire, Breath Me, anything by Van Morrison)  and dedicate it to him on the mic.

Rob, what are your thoughts on world peace? Stephanie, stop laughing!

6. Attempt to get an interview with Robert Pattinson at an upcoming press junket for one of these movies we don’t think the entire foreign press league and Mario Lopez will be at. If we get it then proceed to have violent nausea for 4 days prior to the event because we don’t know what we’ve gotten ourselves into. IF the interview happens to be in London we will also do a Rob tour of the city, see all the sights, stalk his parents and give them flowers and a card and ask if he made good on that promise to get them a new boiler for Christmas. We’ll take a video camera along of course. We’ll also leave our shame at the airport.

7. Only say nice things about you Ron in 2012………….. JUST KIDDING! Never going to happen, I’m pretty sure I already blew that in this post anyway. We love you too much to slobber all over you 24/7 anyway.

So as you can see we’re going to fail a lot this year but some of this WILL happen in 2012… what will they be? Only time and twelve months will tell. Here’s hoping we get to see the Patinson’s new boiler first hand.


Moon & UC

Any Rob-solutions we should add to the list? Besides really wanting him to do a new photo shoot?
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11 Commented

We’re thankful for Thanksgiving

Dearest Rob,

This holiday could not have come at a better time. We need a break. And by break I mean to get up at 4 am to hit the sale racks by 5 on Friday morning. Ok, so Moon will NEVER get up at 4am for any sale unless it was a sale on you and that will never happen so UC needs to rest up her shopping and Moon just needs to sleep for like 36 consecutive hours peppered with obscene amounts of rich food, American sports we only understand half the rules too and unending questions about “that vampire movie thing you did in LA… what’s that about?” to feel rested.

We know you understand… if not why don’t you hit up this lovely (read: freaking hilarious) post HeyyyBrother wrote to you explaining Thanksgiving a while back. Then if you’re still bored and your turkey/tofurkey isn’t finished yet hit up this special Thanksgiving category of posts.

And because we can’t let a holiday go by without a good photoshopping…

Happy Thanksgiving Rob! We love ya (most days) and we’re thankful for all the good things you’ve brought our way just by BEING.

Have the best day and long weekend friends!
Moon and UC

PS go be thankful at LTT too!!

Source for Pictures: Robsessed

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10 Commented

Posted in: holidays, Rob
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We celebrate 4th of July with Rob like it’s 2009

Dear Rob,

This is our 3rd 4th of July together. We’ve shared with you how to play volleyball & grill the proper hot dog (well, sorta), taught you about proper Independence Day attire (shirtless with a US Flag bandanna around your hair) and even instructed you on how to set off fireworks without a trip to the hospital (okay, we didn’t do any of those things, but we really hope to some day), but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, compares to what we told you in 2009 on the 4th of July. So because it’s been two year and you probably forgot (and also because I have an EPIC 4th of July party to go to in about 15 minutes called “You’re Welcome America” and I have no time to come up with fresh content) I give you our 4th of July from 2 years ago:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

US Flag5420Dear Rob,

Happy 4th of July from your favorite Americans UC & Moon! I know this day isn’t a very happy one in British history since our country beat your country’s ass in a war. But I think we can work through it. We can turn it into a little game. I (UC) went to college in the south and some people don’t seem to be over The Civil War yet (I understand- it was recent- mid 1800s..) They called me a Yankee. Wtf? I never even heard the word “Yankee” till I went to college and found out that apparently I am one. (Yankee= from the north… I think… any southerners wanna help me out?)

We had good times in college, pretending with my friends that we gave a damn about a war fought so long ago. We’d be walking to class and I’d pass a friend from Georgia and I’d say, “I’m gonna getcha in Gettysburg.” And then he’d say, “But I’m gonna win in Spotsylvania!” It was a hoot!

So whadayasay? Should we do something similiar to what I did with my southern friends in college? Like, I can call you up and say, “Yo Limey- put on your red coat and get over here to celebrate the US signing the declaration of Independence from your country” And you’d come over, wearing your red coat because you’re such a good sport, and I’d be in my blue coat. And if you bring me some tea I could say, “Hell no! I don’t want your tea. I’m gonna dump this tea overboard into the waters in Boston.” Imagine all the jokes we could make..

Or we could forego all the history ideas (cuz seriously those 4 things above took me a 1/2 hour to look for on wikipedia) and just celebrate the 4th of July the good ol’ American way- hot dogs, hamburgers, deviled eggs, volley ball, watermelon, throwing up on the volley ball court because you played too soon after eating the hot dogs, hamburgers and deviled eggs, refueling after your purging with more hot dogs, a dip in the pool, playing Born in the USA 100 times and then switching to your mix of Lee Greenwood, Bruce Springstreen & Toby Keith. And capping off the night with an amazing backyard firework display where this phrase is usually heard: ‘Shit… they didn’t go off. Someone go see why. No you go. No you. GET THE FOUR YEAR OLD AWAY. We will never do this again. These are supposed to be foul-proof fireworks! Get Uncle Joe- he’ll check it out” and Uncle Joe does check it out. And then the rest of the night is spent in the ER, with Uncle Joe, who has a black hand and is now completely bald as opposed to half-way bald. Oh and don’t forget to wear a flag somewhere on your body (looks like Moon took care of that for you- cute!)


I’m a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A.,
UnintendedChoice & The MoonisDown

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Aww! How sweet. I also took the liberty (ha) to photoshop some new American Rob pictures:

Here is one where Rob is proud to be an American:

Here is one where the Statue of Liberty gets a surprise:

Happy 4th of July!!!

UC & Moon

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