Adios, Sayonara, Aloha, Love, Peace Out (for now) Roberto

Dear Rob,

We saw this on Saturday –

and rethought everything.

Letters to JGL forever. And ever.

Peace out Rob.

JUST KIDDING.

Stop trying to make us sad!

I mean we could totally go for a Rob/Magic Mike/SNL moment but that’s probably not going to happen till you’ve had your Shadowboxer/Brick/500 Days of Summer/Dark Knight phase and are ready to bare all. And shower regularly. Don’t get us wrong, that’s one of the things we love about you. You simultaneously give a fuck and yet don’t give a fuck and you look much better doing it than some other people we know. You’re effortlessly cool and effortlessly interesting and effortlessly easy on the eyes and effortlessly lovely and once upon a time effortlessly easy to write about. But ya know what isn’t so effortless anymore? Writing a letter to you everyday. This isn’t an “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation cause let’s be honest, it’s kinda both of us. You’ve been kinda in hiding and we’ve been kinda busy. You’ve been kind of preoccupied and we’ve been kind of doing our own thing. It’s like that point in the relationship where the texts and dates and calls are coming fewer and farther in between because there just isn’t much to say anymore. Now, there’s definitely booty calls still involved but we’ve become different people and want different things and our old hangouts with bags of Cheetos and dates to your friends concerts and wallowing in your dirty laundry just isn’t cutting it anymore. If we took this relationship metaphor one step further we would hug and agree and probably hang out again in like 2 weeks at a gross bar but we write this to say we’re going to be focusing on LTT and our new blog That’s Normal.

We’ll always love you!

So between those, our lives and not wanting to die at work we have to bid a fond farewell to LTR for now. This doesn’t mean goodbye forever. Remember what I said about hanging out at the bar and texting. We’ll be back as necessary and we’re still pounding away at LTT and will be ramping up That’s Normal to full capacity SOON.

Rob, I think we should end this with a three way slow dance (is this possible?) to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” and think about ALL the good times.

.

then as a thank you to our awesome audience us three will perform this:

See you soon!
Moon and UC

To our faithful, awesome, funny readers –

Seriously, it’s not the end just farewell to LTR for a bit. Go to our other sites and we’ll be there. If something happens and we feel like LTR should have a say we will definitely post. Or, if we get good letters submitted, we will post… but otherwise we’re just going to remember the good times, the really-really-really good times and hilarious letters we’ve posted here at LTR over the years and all the fun we had with Rob & with you all! You are what has made this so rewarding for us. We appreciate all of you!

Gifs via Buzzfeed

25 Commented

The Good Ol’ Days of Rob Pattinson

Dear Rob,

Where have I been, you ask? You might think I’ve been hiding in a hole distraught over the news that you MAY have REUNITED with you know who. But in reality, I could care less and it bores me so much to even think about the topic so that is the extent of what we’ll discuss about it. Do what you gotta do. But I Katy Perry would have been fun for a little while.

What I HAVE been doing, though, is getting kinda reminiscent. Call it old age (don’t call it that); call it the realization that The Twilight End Is Coming (wahhh), but I’ve been scouring the LTR archives remembering back to the days when you were SO MUCH FUN. Here are a few things I’ve found:

I really miss MySpace Gangsta Rob

Click for ultimate LOLs

who was the first Rob we featured in our series “What if Rob wasn’t famous.” You were inspired by a cousin of mine whose Facebook profile doesn’t look much better than your MySpace Page

And where did hott butt from behind Rob go?

(Is it me or did you gain a few in the backside?) This could also be called “Almost growing a fishtail-Rob”

And how fun was that time we lost you in 2009 & vickyb put your picture on a milk carton?

And I MISS DRUNK ROB. Especially when you look like a wedding crasher

(The caption on that photo was: “This is what Rob looks like when TomStu leaves him alone with a Nana” I bet that was funny back in ’09!)

And what about all the fun we had when you looked like you were a guy who delivered the best nachos of all time:

The Nacho Man edition

And remember when WE ARE THE ROB worked & actually brought PEACE to the fandom for like a whole 20 minutes!?

And remember back when Pattinson Pants lady used to exist & comment?

(I sure hope those pants still exist- DO YOU THINK SHE’LL BE IN LA IN NOVEMBER!? That would be a FABULOUS end to a crazy 4 years. Especially if she lets me try on the pants)

And of course who could forget Rob as a Trucker

Click to Re-read. You won’t regret it!

That one time where I ACTUALLY created a real profile on Trucker Passions.com with the headline “My rig is big”

Sigh.. it’s been so long I even miss Gold Chain Rob

From the one where talked about all the Rob Dealbreakers we have

AND GUYS: We know how I feel about GQ Rob!

I’ve begged & prayed & waited but NOTHING comes close to this photoshoot for me!

Oh Rob.. what am I going to have to do to have that much fun again? Imagine another “What if he wasn’t famous…” But this time you’re a server at Downton Abbey (hmmm… good excuse to google more pictures of Matthew/Dan Stevens…..)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What pictures/moments/Old Robs do you miss about ROB?

14 Commented

Letter to Rob about the Photo where he looks like he climbed out of a grave

Dear Rob,

First time, long time (lolz), so I’ve been a fan since before the movies came out (a hipster twilight fan if you may) and it used to be that every morning I would sign into my computer at work and then SCOUR the interwebs for any news on Twilight and you. I would then compile said info and forward it to 4 or 5 other obsessed friends because obviously I have no life. [UC Note: nope. That’s Normal. I miss those days]

As the years passed, I lost a bit of interest. More websites started to pop up and it began to get really difficult hitting EVERY site at work to get my Rob fix (mo money mo problems yo) , so I just had to quit this addiction. I knew the info would find me if it was big enough. The movies came out, my hope for Midnight Sun faded into almost non-existence and Robsten became sort of a reality.

Today, I was reading some of my celebrity blogs and it said something like “Kristen’s really blowing the BD2 premier planning” and I Google image searched “Rob and Kristen” to see if I could catch an updated glimpse of either of you. Have you googled yourself lately?!? There are LOTs of photos of you, but the ONE I had buried deep in my memory, the one that stopped me in my mouse tracks, was this f*cking trainwreck of a photo:

And I cackled. Oh did I cackle, LOUD. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about this shoot! With THE HAND. Holy shit I was horrified, as were the rest of the fandom. There were comments thrown about that you looked like you crawled out of a grave. I also remember how I couldn’t stop staring at your chest all pale and sorta Burt Reynolds-y. It was the first time we were given what could have been such a great gift. (As I am writing this and sneaking peeks at this photo, I just can’t stop laughing.) But it was done so so so wrong. Ugh, the hair (wow that hair, Donald Trump is envious, it’s feathered and stupid, with BANGS), and the lipstick, and the dirty shirt, and THE HAND.

Looking back through all these photos though, it shows how far Twilight has come. Looking at all the various other photos just on the first page alone, (if you can get past some really bad man-nips that make you look like your neck is broken) you can see such a change in all of your faces. You were just kids when you started this and now years later, you are finishing the saga and probably happy to close this chapter in your life and NOW you have a real life break up to go through. (I couldn’t listen to Mazzy Star for YEARS without thinking of an ex boyfriend, I can’t imagine PLAYING a character that people LOVE (areobsessedwith) and EVER being able to WANT to relive any of it now there such a bad breakup involved). However, time passes and eventually you start thinking about Fade Into You and how you really liked it, and well my point is, this too shall pass. My advice: Put all your mementos in a cigar box and hide it under your bed or closet for a few years. When you are ready, pull it out and go through it, while you are at it, check out the Google images of yourself and watch the box set of the Twilight Saga too.

Sincerely,

Rob&Katy2013

THAT PHOTO IS THE WORST AND I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ALMOST BEEN 4 YEARS AND WE NEVER DISCUSSED IT ON LTR!

14 Commented

Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry? We’d ship that

Dear Rob,

So I was talking to Brookelockart yesterday [Wait Hold the phone: You think I’m in a fight with Moon, don’t you? Since I’m spending more internet time with Brooke? I’m not. But I am in a fight with her job]

Moving on, Brookelockart & I were discussing this latest piece in Lainey Gossip about how Katy Perry wants to jump your bones.

It’s Gossip. So let’s take it with a grain of salt. But also, we’ve been hearing “Gossip” for YEARS that Katy wants to jump your bones, so can we say that maybe it is sorta somewhat maybe possibly true?

Either way, we both decided that if you and Katy decided to become a “thing” we’d TOTALLY ship it. So here are 10 reasons why you dating Katy would be good for you & us:

Cause if you dated this wouldn’t be the ONLY image available if you google “Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry”

1) She has Boobs & you like boobs

2) Katy’s bubbly personality will definitely cheer you up.

3) It would be FUN. Not serious. No one needs serious. You need FUN

4) What guy doesn’t want to bang her in her California Girls get up

5) Katy knows Snoop dog. And no doubt has access to really quality weed

6) Katy would actually like to be seen with you in public

8) And you’ll feel like a sexual superstar when fireworks shoot out of her boobs

9) Since Katy is obsessed with you, there will be an EPIC sad love ballad penned after you get bored and end it (a la Thinking of You)

10) Your dating Katy may stop all the robsten shippers from harrassing anyone slightly related to Rob or Kristen

Can we start trending #robstenisbroken #RobKatishot yet??

Love,
UnintendedChoice & Brookelockart

What do you think? Could Rob use a little Katy fun in his life?

39 Commented

Confession: I haven’t seen Cosmopolis

Dear Rob,

Confession: This is as far as I’ve gotten in my quest to see Cosmopolis:

Talking to @Brookelockart at brunch this weekend:

Me: Are we going to see Cosmopolis?
Brookelockart: Is it out?
Me: Yes
Brookelockart: I dunno
Me: k

And I know! I am a ROB fan. I am currently writing on a ROB blog. What is wrong with me? I can think of 8 other things I’d rather do than go see Cosmopolis:

1. Watch that DVD of “How to Be” I never started (nope. oops)
2. Go see The Dark KnightRises (I’m behind on movies, k?)
3. Eat a vegetarian hot pocket (do they make those?)
4. Go camping (I hate camping)
5. Go through my archives of Rob Pattinson magazines (I did some cleaning and found them the other day)
6. Daydream about Jim Harper (SO SAD The Newsroom is over!)
7. Husk Corn (It’s corn on the cob season!)
8. Browse Robsten Tumblrs (one of my favorite activities)

I’m sorry. I know you’re hot in it. I know you have a lot of the sex with Debra from Everybody loves Raymond, but I just have no desire to see this movie. I didn’t read the book. The trailers didn’t sell it to me. As much as I love looking at you, I am just not in the mood.

I love my husband but that doesn’t mean everything he says and does is perfect. You’re like that for me.

Don’t tell my husband I just compared you two. 

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Call me a bad Rob fan! Yell at me at tell me I don’t deserve to look at the pretty! And after you’re done, the rest of you jump in & confess why you haven’t seen Cosmopolis either. And after the jump, hear from a gal who WILL watch the movie Continue…

48 Commented