Breaking the Rules…

Dear Rob,

I’m breaking the rules & writing to you today, on the 5th anniversary of my marriage to Mr. Choice. He ran out to buy the 7th Harry Potter for our romantic evening in (don’t laugh) and first stopped to get a haircut. What he told me afterwards just HAS to be shared.

I asked how his hair looks as he tried a new salon. He said he loves it. The place was great. “Rick” (who is not gay) was really cool & offered him a beer when he walked in. He asked what he was looking for & Mr. Choice, who is unlike most men over 30 & has a FULL head of hair, asked what Rick thought. Rick said “World War II.” And that’s what he did. I asked Mr. Choice what in the world that meant- and he said,

I think my hair looks a lot like Paddleston’s hair in Water for Elephants

!!!!!! Oh REALLY??? He hasn’t come home yet, but I’m telling you Rob, Mr. Choice looking like you walking through the door would be the best anniversary surprise:

That’s all I got!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

I’m off to NYC for my anniversary/birthday/wedding of roommate from college weekend! I’ll wave to you if you live close. MOON RETURNS THIS WEEKEND so we’ll be back to our regular ol’ blogging schedule soon! We have MUCH to break down!

In the meantime, have your guys said anything interesting about Rob lately?

I’ll let you know if Mr. Choice’s hair is really channeling Rob’s! XO

Update: IT WAS!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

44 Commented

Mr. Choice vs. Mr. “Paddleston”

Dear Rob,

You might be surprised to hear that Mr. Choice tagged along for my west coast visit to see Moon and friends this week. He pretends to be annoyed by all the girltalk, Twi talk & Rob talk, but deep down I know he loves it. And for sure all the LTT/LTR girls love HIM. He’s become quite popular. It’s almost like “Rob WHO!?” Well, almost. Since Mr. Choice has been around all week and got to see Eclipse with us Tuesday evening, we’ve had some fun conversations. Here you can listen in on one of our most recent:

Mr. Choice: What’s up Twilight people. It’s only fair that I warn you all up front that my role in whatever we’re about to do will be incredibly boring. I’m far too sleepy to care about a 600 year old high school vampire who is mad at a 16 year old wolf…Consider yourselves warned
UC: Honey!!! We are supposed to be pretending that we’re having a casual conversation- my readers can’t know this shit is staged!
Mr. Choice: But I’m downstairs on the couch & you’re upstairs in Moon’s bed with her. This is SO freakin’ staged.
UC: We’re the only ones who know that! Now be sweet to my readers

UC: So….. you tweeted earlier that you’re officially Team Jacob
Mr. Choice: Yes and my mom left me a Facebook message asking, “Who is Jacob & what does it mean that you’re on his team”
UC: I’m asking the same thing…. So..  WHY? and I mean be honest….. is it because you think I touch myself to Edward Cullen? And you’re jelly jelly?
Mr. Choice: No, I know you do that, and I don’t care. Jacob is less melodramatic, a FAR better actor, gets better dialogue, is less awkward, less British and 1 billion times hotter
UC: okay first of all, Jacob is a character.. and he fixes cars.. he doesn’t ‘act’. Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand, he’s an actor…I didn’t ask what you thought of Rob vs. Taylor- I asked about Edward vs Jacob. and furthermore, Edward is RICH- you know how I’m into rich dudes
Mr. Choice: Fine…whatever…I can’t separate who they are as guys and who they are in the movie. Ugh- Edward Pattleston will be a janitor in like two years
UC: you sound bitter.
Mr. Choice: I hope he enjoys this time
UC: I thnk you’re jealous. First of all… Tay-cob looks like an alpaca. I’ll prove it:
Mr. Choice: That makes no sense to me
UC: Oh yeah? Look:

(also- can we get one of these!?)
Mr. Choice: That’s quite a bit of a stretch…Also, whoever brought that to your attention is a huge dork. I think sometimes Rob looks like your Aunt Summer
UC: My aunt with down syndrome!? HOW SO!?
Mr. Choice: He just does when he laughs loudly

More after the jump! Continue…

93 Commented

Rob’s mailbag is getting heavy

Dear Rob,

Tonight my friend Dave was over. This was our conversation:

Dave: What are you doing?
Me: Kicking everyone’s ass in the Dazzle Awards
Dave: What are the Dazzle Awards?
Me: We’re up for an award for our site about Robert Pattinson
Dave: What site? (seriously, Dave? Where the H have you been? Haven’t you wondered where I’ve been for the past few months?)
Me: LettersToRob.com
Dave: Who’s Rob?
Me: (blank stare)
Dave: Is he the one who wrote your vampire book?

Oh the stuff guys say about you! On to your mailbag! Read NOW!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Seriously yesterday you guys BLEW OUR MINDS with the support on the Dazzle Awards. Let’s keep it up! We’re gonna win this one! Vote for us NOW!

The RobQ

Dear Rob,

After patiently crossing off the calendar days leading up to March 24, I arrive at CVS to get a copy of the April GQ. You already know I’m not buying this mag for my husband. Scanning the readers’ aisle, I suddenly see GQ… Justin Timberlake on the cover? NO!!  Wait, it’s only the March issue. But where is the one with the Hottest Man On The Planet gracing the cover?

A nice guy behind the counter looks up as I casually mention,”One of your magazines (I refrain from saying which one) is supposed to hit the stands today, and I was wondering when it’s gonna be in your store?” Innocent enough. He pauses. Then he looks me up and down once, stopping at my eyes. His face now adopts an earnest, sympathetic look, for he already knows which mag I want. He has detected the feverish craving beneath my mask of casual calm – he’s seen it before. He tells me, in a voice like a therapist,”Our truck (or possibly an armored car?) is guaranteed to deliver that issue tomorrow. You can get it then.” Tomorrow comes, and my hyperventilating is mostly manageable as I acquire my hard copy, and it’s all there: the photos, up close & personal, of this gorgeous, sensitive, sexy man…his eyes, lips, hair (and a package to die for, right?)…OH MY ROB! 😀

-ApronBabe

Hi my name is Rob. Because of me you will have disastisfaction with all other men

Desperate and Dateless

Dear Rob

Last month I was getting hot and heavy on the couch with a very eligible young bachelor, but cut him off cold and sent him packing halfway through because I wanted to watch you on my grainy, dodgy version of Twilight that I stole from my housemate who bought it off the black market whilst in Fiji.

a
I have turned down two dates from very handsome young men in the last month because I felt that neither of them could live up to the incredibly high physical standards I now expect in a man, as set by yourself. This is very concerning to both myself and my friends as I have been single for coming up to 8 months now (which may not be unusual to some, but really is when it comes to me, I mean honestly, I’m quite a catch.), and for the last two months it has been by choice due to the below detailed new mental checklist.

New mental checklist when checking out a guy:

• Does he have a carefree/starving artist unshaven vibe going on?
• Is he wearing either a) a Dolce Gabbana tux or b) grubby clothes that he’s worn for the last three days straight?
• Does he have incredibly long fingers?
• Does he have floppy, untidy looking golden brown hair that looks as though it hasn’t been washed in about 6 months? (admittedly this is very hard look for any other mortal man to pull off, but you do it so well)
• Does he use said fingers to constantly comb through said unwashed hair?
• Does he have piercing green/blue/grey eyes that scream “Do me, do me now. I don’t care that we’re in the middle of the Post Office, rip my clothes off and do me in front of the little old lady arguing about the price of sending a set of encyclopedias to her grand daughter in Japan”?

Sadly, none of them did.

But you do, Rob. You do.

Oh Rob. Why do I love you when you torture me so with your un-attainablility?

Desperate and Dateless (thanks to you),
Carrie

UC note: Carrie told us that this letter was inspired by “your site (and of course by our Lord above, below and in between [the sheets] Robert Pattinson).”

Read more from Rob’s Mailbag, after the jump Continue…

752 Commented

Stuff guys say about Rob – Any Brit will do!

Dear Rob,

Just so you know, other guys pretend to be you.  It’s quite brilliant, actually, since there isn’t enough of the actual you to go around. Any guy pretending to be you could potentially get a lot of chicks.  In fact, I’ve made it quite clear to Mr. D that if he pretends to be you this Saturday night for Valentine’s Day, he’s in for a treat!

C & K had a great experience with a Rob-imposter that C shared with us via e-mail. Watch out for this guy- he’s stealing your moves!
XO,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

“I thought I would share with you both a delightful escapade that my friend K and I had this past Saturday night. She and I decided to go out for a few drinks to celebrate the weekend. We met up. We went dancing. We got hit on by random guys, none of which hold a candle to Rob. Until we met Random British Hipster Dude on the street at 2 am. Our conversation was such:

Random British Hipster Dude: Are you ladies headed home?
Me and K: Are you British? (As you can see, the accent had not escaped us, however, the drinks previously imbibed had apparently hindered our judgment.)
RBHD: Yes.
Me: I would totally bang you right now.
K: Me too.
RBHD (apparently on a cell phone with another British Dude): Did you hear that, Tim?
Me: Oops.
RBHD: So am I coming home with you ladies tonight?
Me: Only if you promise to call yourself Robert Pattinson all night.
RBHD: I am Robert Pattinson.

Let me point out of course, RBHD was NOT Rob. If he was, I would not be writing this email, I would be tied to Rob’s bedpost or something like that. I do not believe that RBHD had any idea of who Rob was, and was therefore willing to take his name in vain.

And of course at this moment, K and I collapsed into giggles. We did not go home with Random British Hipster Dude, as both K and I are married to wonderful men. But I thought it warranted a share with you both.

xoxo
C”

HILARIOUS! Do you know what else is hilarious? All the amazing entries we’ve received for our Twi-alentine’s Day Contest. If you have something amazing to add- send it our way! 

37 Commented

Stuff my guy friend says about Rob and Twilight

"themoonisdown loves wee men" (guy friend's Facebook caption) and of course only a GUY could get that ghetto action figure to stand up

Dear Rob-

Apparently, lots of guys have seen the movie Twilight and are reading the books now… unfortunately, they’re just not talking about it like we are here at LTR and LTT. You think you and Chris Weitz and the Summit marketing dept could have a little heart to heart before this all starts again and butch it up a bit this time around to let dudes know it’s ok to watch this movie? Let ’em know that it’s not all screaming fangirls and lovely dovey teen romance moments?! Sure WE, the girls, love all that stuff, but what about the werewolf action, the vampire hunting, fixing up motorcycles, cliff diving and hot chicks driving PORCHES for God’s sake? Show THAT stuff in your trailers, movie posters and talk show clips, and the boys will gladly tag along, I swear!

Also, could you please talk to your friend KStew about her acting skills? After chatting with my guy friend, and without ANY prompting from me, he says that she totally bombs her performance, citing the “blinking and stuttering.”

So, if you have a few moments, maybe you could bring up some of these points with your studio bosses and director… it would be really cool to take my guy friends with me to see New Moon… and I have a lot of dude friends, so more money in every one’s pockets! We all win! Oh, and you should meet this guy friend, you’d be good pals I know it!

"the hot future seeing chick and her boyfriend" - my guy friend

So… just to set this up below here, Rob, cause it’s a smidge long, my guy friend was in my office and saw the Edward doll and proceeded to take pictures of it and posted it on my facebook. It actually turned out really neato and this was our resulting convo…

SEE Rob, guys really ARE talking about you and Twilight!
XO
Me (themoonisdown)

Read what my guy friend says about Twilight after the jump!

Continue…

40 Commented