Robbie Dean

Dear Rob,

There have been whispers in the media lately (and by “media” I mean the LTR comments) of the uncanny similarities between you and the late, great and very handsome James Dean:

  • First there’s this picture (minus the Rob Porn) where you were clearly going for the whole “Rebel without a cause” look (and by “you” I mean your stylist- no one is fooled, Robbie. We know you don’t dress yourself. Cuz when you do, you look homeless very handsome)
  • Secondly, and I’m not reaching here, James Dean is buried in Fairmount, Indiana (the beautiful bustling town near the metropolis of Matthews, IN) which is 10 miles from where I started my college days in Upland, IN (the town is as awesome as it sounds). Fairmount is right off I-69 (that’s what she said) and there’s a sign that was along my drive from I-69 to Upland noting that Fairmount was your hometown and burial place. Also I used to get late night, gas station pizza off that I-69 exit. You’re not seeing the connection? James Dean is buried 10 miles from where I went to college, and I write blog about you, duh.
  • Thirdly, according to the great and always accurate source, Wikipedia, there is some question of Dean’s sexual orientation as he liked to gallivant around with lots of women AND men.  Now I personally know you are NOT into dudes in any way, but you rocked a kick-ass bi-sexual in Little Ashes and you KNOW someday someone is going to write your biography and accuse you and TomStu of getting it on in his flat one drunken evening…
  • Forth, James Dean? You play a vampire Edward who fights a vampire James… coincidence? I think not…
  • Lastly, if James were alive today (or more like, if I had been alive in 1955), Moon & I would have clearly started a website where all the Doris’, Helen’s & Betty’s (the LTD girls, if you will) could confess their love to James. Although, silly me, the world wide web wasn’t around then, so it probably would’ve been more like… I dunno literal letters delivered by … morse code? How do you say “fake lesbian” in morse…?

By now, I know you’re probably pretty convinced of how similar you are to James Dean, but just in case you still have doubt, two great LTR ladies, Soccermom and IfOnly have made us a video as further proof to your Dean-likeness


Oh, and one more thing? Just because we think you are similar to James Dean in many ways doesn’t mean we want you to be. I mean, you are turning 23. James died at 23. So, as Edward would say… Be Safe. Don’t drive a fast car. Don’t drive that clunker BMW of yours/Nikki’s either. How about you don’t drive at all? But definitely don’t walk- and don’t hitchhike… how about you just stay indoors for the year? You can stay with me… We’ll find something to do…


Thanks again SO much to ifOnly and Soccermom for this great vid!

Update: LTT & LTR were mentioned (along w/ some of our other fav blogs) in the Greek version of Glamour mag. Weird? Crazy? Awesome! Whatever.. we love it! LTT/LTR mention in Greek Glamour

648 Commented

Rob needs help with that

Dear Rob,

What does an expert blogger do at 12:04 on Thursday morning after a 4 hour long tax-day happy hour and NO dinner when she realizes she has NO content for Thursday morning’s post? Uses someone else’s work, of course. Yes, that’s right. I’m a genius:


Mmm k, I’ll be right there to help… I’m 4 Blue Moon’s in.. want me to grab you one….?


Our delicious Thursday Rob Porn made by Jetbaby aka “UC’s ass saver when she’s tipsy”

See more Rob Porn here

961 Commented

My honest confession to Rob

Dear Rob,

I was going to try to break down the following topic Vanity-Fair Style with The Quad, but I’ve decided to grow a pair and tackle the subject on my own.

Today’s class topic has to do with this post that Gozde from Robsessed wrote last week. She said, and I quote,

I am dedicating this song to everyone that freaks out whenever Rob and ANY girl is mentioned!

My motto: “If he is not shagging me I don’t care who he shags.” Adopt the motto, you’ll be happier!

I need to confess today that I cannot adopt this motto. I’ve already told Gozde, Moon & the rest of The Quad, but I am writing today to tell you. I can say those words out loud, but I don’t mean them. I DO care who your shagging. And not just because I care about you and keeping you away from VD and genital warts either, but because I’m jealous. Yep, I’ll admit it- I’m jealous of whomever you might shag, touch, kiss, smoke with, sing with & to, hug or talk to despite that being completely irrational, silly, childish and well, fan-girl CRAZY. And not just in a “Make something up, UC, you write a blog and need content for tomorrow” sorta way either. I really mean it (wow, I’m being honest today and I’m not even drinking anything….)

When I confessed this to Moon she said,

Oh, I care 100% [who Rob shags]. I am a jealous girl at heart, so of course I will care. Gozde is a far bigger woman than I am (and see, admitting that is the first step!)
I have jotted down a few reasons why I cannot adopt this motto as my own:
  • I am a jealous person, too. (I still get jealous when my sister tells her husband something before she tells me, even though that’s normal)
  • I don’t want to think of you as virginal or inexperienced, Rob, but I also don’t want to be thinking of you shaggin’ anyone else either
  • Notice I say “anyone else” in the reason above. By saying “else” that means someone other than me. Subconsciously I must think I have a chance
  • It is wonderful to think that your sexy gazes (see below) are for me and not for some slut that isn’t me (cuz every girl that isn’t me who you shag is a slut, ps)

After reading my reasons over a few times, I had a few thoughts about my honesty and craziness… my crazy honesty:

  • I am 100% aware that the chances of you and I bumpin’ uglies (did I just say that?) are 0%
  • I am also aware that the main hurdle to our bumpin’ uglies is my husband (notice I don’t think us meeting or you falling for me is a hurdle… No, I think that’d be the easy part)
  • I keep using the word “bumpin’ uglies” which will probably make you NOT want to bump uglies with me b/c it sounds like a phrase a 40yr old virgin would use (it’s up there with “Rob, I want to give you my flower”), but I just want to share another term I learned in the urban dictionary when I looked up “bumpin’ uglies:”

Pounding Spam: Refers to a man that cheats on his hot wife or girlfriend with an undesirable, disfigured, or otherwise deformed ugly. “She should leave him. She’s always slaving at home while he’s out Poundin’ Spam”

I’ve been so distraught over my obviously irrational state of mind that I went back to the source of my struggle: Gozde.  I confessed my struggle with her motto and told her I just could not make it my mantra, despite knowing I’ll never have you (and subconsciously thinking I just might…) Here were her words of wisdom:
I can’t get jealous of him ’cause as you said, he’s never gonna be mine, so I’ll settle for someone nice and hope for a sex tape to leak
Well, it wouldn’t be as great as bumpin’ uglies with you, but I’d take a sex tape leak too (preferably with the girl you’re with blurred out…. Lord knows no one needs to see Kristen or Nikki in that position)
I decided to take matters into my own hands, and come up with my own motto:
Rob, if you’re not with me, then you’re Poundin’ Spam
Also… I am confessing this today expecting to get some haters (you know we love haters- we have a special folder for haters in our inboxes and they will soon play a special role on our blog) but mostly knowing that I’m going to hear a huge resounding cry of what is slowly becoming the LTR motto (see scene from Monday of my LA Trip) “THAT’S NORMAL”
Oh!? Me & you... yeah... I'm down with that....

Oh!? Me & you... yeah... I'm down with that....

1,444 Commented

The Best of Robert Pattinson (aka: I can't get through Monday without this)

Dear Rob,

Never stop being you, k?



Thanks for reminding me of this amazing video, Myria!

Oh why the hell not? I’m feeling generous, and it IS a Monday… Part 2:


Thanks to Joy, the amazing creator of these two vids!

People have been begging us to “Break Down” the DVD commentary “vanity-fair-style.” Literal BEGGING has occurred- tears have been spilt, promises have been made…. so we gave it a whirl this past week. See how it turned out after the jump:


1,598 Commented

Happy Birthday Kristen, love Rob

Dear Kristen,
It’s your birthday and Rob wanted to get you something special. Of course he was too busy, so he sent us out to get you this following list of items. Oh, and this Rob porn above was made especially for you… shhhh don’t show Oregano.
Happiest of Birthdays,
Moon and UC (on behalf of Rob)

Gifts for Kristen’s 16, 37 uhhhh 19? Birthday

  • Screening of Little Ashes hosted by myself in Dali wig & ‘stach, giving special commentary whilst doing THE TUCK
  • Three shots of whiskey (for her first drink ever, since the legal drinking age in Canada is 19) followed by a “special hug” with a special smoke (while D’Angelo plays in the background.)
  • Couples massage… (call to make sure NReed is avails)
  • Signed Rob Porn (above) sent to Kristen c/o Oregano’s address. (heh heh, that should get him)
  • Navy knit cap, just like mine
  • 2 more weeks of California time for Michael Oregano and Nikki Reed. (This will help ensure two more productive nights as mentioned above)
  • Gift basket (shrink wrapped to ensure freshness) including new bong and “smokables,” brownies, and gift card to IHop
  • Private performance of Kings of Leon’s “Soft” covered by yours truly. Please print out a lyric sheet highlighting the following:
I’m passed out in your garden
I’m in I can’t get off so soft
I’d pop myself in your body
I’d come into your party, but I’m soft
  • (This gift’s more for me) Some sort of memory machine/time changer so I can forget the things I’ve done with a girl born in 1990. Never mind that she’s legal and I’m only 3+ years older than her, I still feel like Chris Hansen is gonna show up any day with Dateline NBC…

BIG thanks to JBell for the b-day reminder and The Quad for the help. And to Michael Oregano… cuz we think you might need a hug today… 🙁

1,360 Commented

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