Rob Pattinson in Bel Ami: Why we don’t really care

Dear Rob,

Last week we got an early Christmakuh present in the form of a new Bel Ami Trailer.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a present to us. 

It’s just not that hot

Chicago Friend: how do you feel about the bel ami trailer
UC: is there a new one?
Chicago Friend: i just saw it right now
UC: Oh.. I thought that was the same trailer.. but someone was just really behind in their Rob news. But.. I guess it’s different? slightly different clips? maybe?
Chicago Friend: i mean… it doesn’t look like… a very good movie? like it’s not surprising that it didn’t have distribution w/ hot stars like kristen scott thomas
UC: no… not surprising at all. And yes the trailer IS different. It’s more boring. Like so boring I just stopped watching it. And does it have distribution now?
Chicago Friend: i don’t know if it has it in the US? i mean… i don’t know. for some reason i thought it would be sexier? like, having sex with kristen scott thomas, who s probably like… 55 is not hot. ditto uma thurman. and christina ricci, ehh
UC: hahahahaha. You are SOOO right. I have never been interested in this movie…. and that right there is a perfect reason why. having sex with older woman, while so many of them fantasize about it.. WATCHING it is not hot. and christina looks anorexic. not hot. and it just looks… boring
Chicago Friend: i mean, shirtless rob, ok?
UC: okay but will i pay $11 and drive across the ben franklin bridge to south jersey to see it? probably not. Honestly. I don’t think I’ll see that movie. I’m saying it now
Chicago Friend: will i watch it when it’s on on demand immediately after theater release? maybe.
UC: i mean…. I haven’t even watched The Help yet
Chicago Friend: i haven’t either. that’s on the top of my netflix
UC: or that movie where Justin Timberlake and Mila do it a lot. so if bel ami is out in the spring (i think it might be? so it must have distribution?) and then on DVD in the summer… there’s a good chance it will be far down the list
Chicago Friend: yeah. unless someone’s just like “fine, come over. we’ll watch it.” like my interest in watching it alone is prettttty low
UC: i’d probably be depressed if i did… like really? my life is THIS boring? there are NO new NCIS episodes on demand? So i’m watching bel ami?

I know, I know. So Harsh. But come on, Rob, when have we ever been not honest with you?

I brought Moon in on the conversation a few days later:

Not what I meant

UC: I mean, I’m really trying to come up with some reasons for what would get me into the theater to see this movie. I’d go if I had tickets to the premiere.. or if there were guaranteed nude scene (male scenes- with him.. to clarify in case you thought i meant one of the old dudes)
Moon: Haha you’d go if there were man on man nude scenes?

UC: okay did you watch the bel ami trailer? And how do you FEEL?
Moon: I saw it. Why do i get a super strong Harlequin romacne vibe??? not that we dont all love us some heaving busoms and corset ripping… but is that really your follow up role choice after a blockbuster like twi???
Moon: i was thinking more along the lines of a gangster squad, oceans 11, hurt locker, even crazy stupid love type film
Moon: i mean even just follow the Gos’s footsteps. he’s laid out a solid career path
UC: Chicago Friend and I were talking about how weird it is to see him hook up with these older women. it would be ONE thing if they were all super relevant hot young thangs.. but….. i mean.. it’s kinda weird…watching him get it on with KST
Moon: yea none of them make me all hot and bothered. also i am not a lesbian so this might also play a part
UC: BUT… i like when Ryan gosling hooks up with pretty girls
Moon: but who wants to watch their mom or quirky cousin get it on with rob in period garb?
UC: it’s like… a bad dream
Moon: throw in an emma stone. im down! we ALL know im down for anthing emma stone. FAKE lesbian for her
UC: ME TOO. STONBIAN
Moon: like DO THAT rob but dont do aunt kristen scott thomas with a perm. GROSS

UC: I’m not even sure I’m gonna see it. Is that bad?
Moon: i’m more likely to go see ben schwartz perform imrpove before i see this. all that to say im sure ill see it because… hello LTR but its not even water for elephants level for me. i could get ZERO guys to agree to see this with me. even if i promised christina ricci’s big boob
UC: Mr. Choice LOVES KST & uma.. and there is no way he’d see this
Moon: this is why he needs to take my ABOVE career advice
UC: I mean, if there’s a NY premiere I’d probably go there and see what happens. I mean, i COULD run into Larry411 again like the premiere fo Remember Me
Moon: im sure there would be another devil horns photo opp if you went
UC: Why would I pass up the opportunity to give the crazies a little fun? I’d even POSE for them

But if Rob were a gay grandpa….

UC: SIDE NOTE: omg. did you see the video where the guys are gonna become grandpas? I have the Cullen smiles
Moon: awwwwww yes. so hilar and cute. Maybe rob should just be in a full length film about the gay grandpas. THAT would definitely get my butt in the seat
UC: MINE TOO!!
Moon: rob playing a gay, soon to be, grandpa. I mean with teen mom, it isnt far off. give him some salt n pepper hair and viola
UC: yes… I’d see that. I’d also see: Rob with Emma Stone, Rob in an action flick, Where he has to Run.
Moon: HAHAHA i forget action flicks would involve coordination of which rob mildly possesses
UC: Rob playing opposite a big wig like.. Matt Damon
Moon: Yea rob needs to be in a big ensemble cast where he is NOT the lead
UC: right– like Oceans 14
Moon: ive said it 50 times before and ill say it again
UC: something BIG
Moon: do something GREAT as a supporting actor
UC: nothing controversial…. like a biopic or something.. where people have opinions. nothing about history
Moon: THEN we’ll talk about letting you EFF grandmas on screen
UC: prove yourself first before you get that right

A Mustache would get us there

Moon: Is bel ami even getting a wide release??
UC: DOUBT it..
Moon: thank god i live in la and we get like everything but what about a good chunk of robs fans who live in normal places…
UC: I DOUBT it will have the same release as Remember Me. how could it? it hasn’t had the attention that one did.
Moon: WFE has been his best so far (non twi) and that was with BIG stars. I’d love to talk to stephanie, his agent and see what the deal is. i know he says he doesn’t like much and what he does like he DOES. I’m sure they throw EVERYTHING at him
UC: Let’s call them- Stephenie & Nick
Moon: yea we need to get a conference call going cause i dont get it. i know stephanie can’t MAKE him do anthing but some gentle (harsh) prodding would HELP
UC: Right… slipping a hot pocket under the script she really likes
Moon: YES positive reenforcement! Her and nick tag teaming could have gotten him in gangster squad as some cop at least
UC: taking him to Norm’s rare guitars and THEN handing him the script. Ooh- I just envisioned Rob with a moustache as a cop.
Moon: Ew!! i just saw him doing UMA and Kristin i cant add a stache to that image
UC: Oh I can. give me a minute.

UC: So that’s it? We’d for sure see Rob in a movie where he’s sporting a ‘stache?
Moon: I guess so….!

Sorry Rob, but take our advice and we’re THERE!

Love,
UC & Moon

I know FOR SURE we’re not alone in feeling soooo blah about this movie. And I know some of you cannot WAIT to see Rob in Bel Ami. Sound off in the comments! Are you on Team Bel Ami or Team “Keep Rob away from ladies with perms?”

Addendum: Moon just had an epiphany: Kristin Scott Thomas with a perm in Bel Ami= DEBBERT. That is EXACTLY how she imagined Debbert to look- with a perm & mousy brown hair. That’s why the trailer is so popular! So many Bel Ami fans are also fans of Debbert’s famed “Ello Love”

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

75 Commented


Hump Day Rob Videos!

Dear Rob,

Sometimes it’s Wednesday and you think, what could make this hump day more bearable??? Yea, some Rob videos. I’m sure you watch weird videos of yourself while at work. We all do. So enjoy.

Dear Everyone Else,

And now it’s time for a Rob video interlude… you’re welcome.


OH SEBASTIAN!


the one that makes me want to watch Friends


this will ALWAYS be the best RobStu video ever. Clay Aiken KNOWS, people… he knows.


Your Wednesday crappy? Here’s 7 minutes to kill it with.

PLEASE make sure to check back here tomorrow… we will be interrupting our regular blogging schedule to celebrate a very special day… no, not the day Rob learned how to schedule his DVR from his phone so now he never misses an episode of Lady Hoggers.

No really, you watch Lady Hoggers right Rob?

Happy Hump Day!
Themoonisdown

See ya back here tomorrow!!

We’re always on the look out for good videos… drop them in the comments if you have one!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

6 Commented

Posted in: Rob, video
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Top 7 reasons Rob Pattinson wasn’t at the afterparty

Dear Rob,

We love RonFrom signs bearing your name (“Ron”) to seeing you in action on the red carpet, to being mere INCHES away from your face, Monday night’s Breaking Dawn part 1 premiere was Epic. Of course, what would have been even MORE Epic if Moon was not being “Rob-blocked” by a certain D-list actor when she was doing interviews, but more on that later (as in another day when we have time to edit another video)

Despite not getting to ask you if you’ve ever tried any other animal shape not-real-pieces-of-meat chicken nuggets other than Dinos, or finding out if you prefer to heat them in the conventional or toaster oven, we had a great night. Especially later in the evening when we came up with THIS list after spending 2 hours surveying the party, looking for you in every corner possible (we even looked IN the waterfall):

Top 7 reasons Rob Pattinson wasn’t at the afterparty (Cuz coming up with 10 was wayyyy too hard)

  1. Kristen got really pissed off that you wore blue too & gave you a unibrow with her sharpie.
  2. You heard they weren’t serving Dino-nuggets at the after-party and the spread was a more “grown-up” affair. Cocktails instead of beer? So you went home & threw something in the microwave & popped open a beer.
  3. You heard you lost “best dressed” of the night to Jackson Rathbone & were ashamed to show our face. Guyliner? Why didn’t you think of that?
  4. While in line to get popcorn & your Breaking Dawn souvenir cup before the movie started (you need to complete your set, of course) the ushers came out & announced the doors were being closed & no one else was allowed into the screening. Dean, your parents, your driver & everyone else you knew was inside, so you just hitchhiked home.
  5. They turned you away when you attempted to bring Bear through the doors. You even explained how you had no idea who more than half of the people were who walked the red carpet & you just felt kinda lonely, but they didn’t care. You pointed out Weird Al Yankovich & how much you needed Bear’s protection & even THAT didn’t work…
  6. Saddened that you didn’t get to talk to Moon on the red carpet, you went home to pen a song about your “missed connection.”
  7. You were told you had to check your cell phone at will call & didn’t want to part with your Jitterbug phone. You saw Ashley Greene’s grandpa eyeing it up earlier & didn’t trust that it would be there when you returned.

After getting home with the champagne-giggles, kicking off our shoes, putting on comfy clothes (FINALLY) and covering our war wounds with Hello Kitty band-aids, it was a nice surprise to find THIS video on one of our cameras:

Until next time (oh there WILL be a next time!)

UC & Moon

We had an amazzzzzinggggg time on Monday night. Make sure to get over to LTT today for Storytime! While Rob didn’t confess his love & whisk us away to meet Bear & ask us to vacuum out his sheets before taking us to bed (yes, together), it was a successful night anyway.

We have more stories to share. So stay tuned! Thanks to everyone we met & who encouraged us and made us SO HAPPY to be there! It was amazing to see faces we recognized in the crowd! XO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

18 Commented


Some HP induced Twilight ramblings and Rob, a beautiful American?

My how we've all changed

Dear Rob,

I’ve been cheating on you… his name is Neville Longbottom, I mean Matt Lewis and he is delightful. Here’s the thing: I don’t really know anything about Harry Potter other than the few movies I’ve seen and the 4 chapters of Sorcerers Stone I tried to read in college but was too distracted by stuff like homework to really get into it.

But I’ve been watching all the coverage of the final movie installment with rapt attention. Like an innocent bystander watching the funeral of someone beloved that I didn’t know very well. It makes you wish you knew them well just so you could commiserate with everyone else. I think it’s also caught my attention because it seems like a somewhat parallel foreshadowing to what the Twilight fans will be feeling next November. When it ALL really does end. The majority of us may have not grown up with Twilight LIT-TRALLY but a lot of us have grown and changed over the last almost 4 years. UC and I were just talked about this recently, how different we both are from when we first started LTT/LTR. I can still see in my memory (I have long since quit) the desk I sat at when I wrote the very first LTT post, the house I lived in where I read the books the first time and remember our first comment alerts coming in on my phone. It will definitely be the end of an era but it has been and IS one of the best thing I’ve done in my life. But we are very different since it all began, new jobs, relationships ended, relationships began, babies born (named Edward), death, healing, friendship, family, all the things Twilight (and Harry Potter) are about with the addition of a few vampires and werewolves and a couple bumbling parents.

Can we have a moment of silence??

This is a long introduction and a bit of a ramble but I know we have quite a bit of Harry Potter fans among us (UC being one!) who I thought could appreciate and maybe give us some pointers for next November…

Also this is my way of being able to use this video of Josh Horowitz (OF COURSE! WHO ELSE?) talking to the Potter cast about “American” stuff and asking them to identify famous Americans…

Srsly, Matt Lewis yall *fans self* he can bring me the brewskies any time, any place.

Srsly, I'm gonna need a moment...

My real reason for posting this is that Tom Felton (jokingly)  refers to Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen and says he is a beautiful American. And that got me to thinking… have we coopted Robert Pattinson for ourselves? Lots of people talk about his loss of accent and I’m sure he has a permanent visa or maybe even citizenship at this point for being an “alien for extraordinary talent” (the actual term for people who get visa for this stuff). Though I would argue he is plently English, the mumbling and self deprecation and the mumbling. Though he’ll always be the son of England (and Dick and Clare) have we claimed him for our own? And will we ever, willingly, give him back? Oh HALE no!

We love you Rob and we’ll take you as an alien or we’ll marry you and make you legal.
Themoonisdown

PS Please to enjoy my very own ramblings/stream of conscious post about the state of Twilight/Rob in my own brain.

Am I right, has the REAL story behind the end of HP been Matt Lewis’s hottness? AM I RIGHT? Where has this guy been? Has anyone else been thinking about the end of Twi?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

29 Commented


RobPorn Videos PLUS Sugarlumps

cue porn-seekers coming across LTR because of that title

Zeph leads us in admiration today:

Dear Rob,

It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me. I haven’t forgotten about you, it’s just that RL has been taking away all my time. Well that and the fact that you really haven’t been giving us too much lately. No photo shoots. No adorakable interviews. No crazy US Magazine rumors. No 3am beer runs or In and Out drive thrus . No buddy road trips. Just a few fan shots on the Cosmopolis set. It’s just not enough to pull me in for hours at a time. Tonight though I revisited one of my favorite past times.

Yes, I went RobPorn hunting.

Took me a bit but I navigated my way through the bajillion RobPorn videos on youtube and with the help of PinkPixieChick I found all my old favorites:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygoyTIrIVe8]

Why? Why did I ever take a break from this? At least I know you’re always there when I come to my senses.

Taking my breath away once again,

Zephyersky

After the jump, Moon & I get Roblosophical about something that isn’t Roblosophical at all: Continue…

37 Commented


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