Debbert- A story of True Love

Dear Rob,

Today’s LTR is going to be a bit different. You see last week I was forwarded a Rob Pattinson fan fiction. You heard that right. Rob Pattinson. It was written by Debbie- a story about the love between her and Rob. Moon & I discussed how we needed to present this. Should we do a dramatic reading? What if we wrote a screenplay & made a film? But then we were sent a break-down that our friends Amber & LiLI (from Shack of Soul) did one day instead of working. And after we stopped working to read, and cried and laughed and cried some more, we decided we couldn’t keep this to ourselves. This is long. There are no pictures. This is very unedited and there are timestamps. But This is WORTH EVERY MINUTE you will spend reading it.

Sadly, the fic has now disappeared or been locked up (It was originally found here) but it started out with pictures (pictures of what seem to be the actual people the fic characters are based on) of Debbie, her bff & family, her mom & step dad, Ken, her priest (I think) The Band Strypr. It makes sense when you read the break down. Sorta. And the first time Debbie & Rob get errr sexual she describes wearing a “beige bra.” So if you ever hear us tweeting/making reference to a beige bra (or if I text you a picture of my own) that’s where the joke comes from.

In case you don’t have time read it all (but seriously- YOU NEED TO) here are the “chapters” of the break-down you can scroll through to get a taste. You won’t be sorry. Well, unless this is really you, Rob, reading this. Then you’ll probably be sorry.

The one where Rob falls for someone at TwiCon SHUTTHEFRONTDOOR
‘6-12 months to live” sex Chapter 11: Rob and I make love
for the first time (NC-17)
Cause Everyone discusses their
fav Twi scene during sex
A Christmas Wish
Tips for stalking Rob Don’t Hide your love
It’s on the wrong hand do-rags are kinda sexy
Robsten is a sham Finally Stypr makes sense
Pound the cancer out of her Rob goes Tom Cruise on us
Married life with Rob Shit gets real
RPOV Debbie doesn’t know when to quit
ROBSTEN SAVES THE DAY A Martyr for Robsten

But since you’re going to listen to me and read the entire thing, you can do that after the jump! Continue…

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The crazies and Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

One of my favorite things about running a blog called Letters to Rob is that we get just that. Letters TO you from special people.  When we receive one of these not-too-rare emails, after being passed around to a group of people including Moon & whoever is having a bad day and needs something to cheer them up, it is immediately filed into a special folder called “Crazies.”

Today I’d like to dig into the “Crazies” folder & share some of my recent favorites. And of course include a response that I wish I had the balls to send back.

just incase this could go to Rob, Kristen and Cast of Twilight.  Prince Edward is going to in Greenville South Carolina  This Friday and Saturday.  Thought I would extend an invite to them.  Seems Like Rob would like to see someone from England.

Hey- I know that guy! He was in that British wizard movie!

Oh how well you know me. What gave away my homesickness? Was it my crying into the British flag I keep padlocked in my car on the way home from the set the other day? I thought I saw a camera flash. Was it that you can’t find a single hob nob in the city of Los Angeles & you assumed I bought them all (I did) I would LOVE to see someone I don’t know from England. That would be the cure all for my homesickness. I’ll be there as soon as somewhere tells me where South Carolina is.

Long live the Queen,

A note to Stephenie contained a little section about Rob

Just one more thing.  My son Rob, is 6’3-1/2″ and bares a striking resemblance to your Rob.  My son Joshua reminds me of Taylor. Twenty years ago my daughter resembled Bella.

It is too weird, just call me Esme II.

Mostly sincere,
Crankie Frankie

Crankie Frankie,
Does “mostly sincere” mean your sorta kidding. I’d like that to be the case. But in case not, I’d like to see a picture of your son, to see if I have competition. Did you include one in your original letter to my Stephenie? Also, Esme was the mother to Edward not me, Bella or Taylor. So while calling yourself Esme II seemed like a good idea, it doesn’t make any sense.

Hob Nob Rob

Dear Rob,
OMG!! You are the best actor ever!! And I Love You Soo Much!!
I absolutely love you in The Twilight Saga and Im just bouncing in my seat thinkin about you! I cant wait til I go and see it in Bluewater on the 10th July!! You we born in the coolest place on Earth (London), Your a fantabulos musician and artist and I Love You!!
To be honest Ive got a a small case of the green eyed monster because Kristen Stewart gets to have you when she is playing Bella and in real life!! Where is the justice in that?!! Okay I say a small case but actually its the size of the Universe and always growiing!! I scream at the television and laptop when you share as much of a touch! And I am not ashamed to admit this! I would love to meet you and I talk about you 24/7 and I think my friends are sick of me. Im sure I dream of you well I fall asleep dreaming of you but you know dreams, their incontrolable little suckers!
I couldnt think of anyone better to play the most sexiest, talented, intelligent Cullen… Edward, and my favourite quote in the  films has to be when Edward says to Bella : ‘So the lion fell in love with the lamb’. I cant stop thinking about you, you are my life, my air, my food, you are what I need to survive! As I have said I love to meet you and you may never know I might bump into you when your in London one day (I live there)!

Te quiero mucho usted con mi corazón. Usted está mi vida ahora y para siempre chalota estar.
‘I love you lots with all my heart. You are my life now and always shall be.’
(I come from Latin descent)
Lots of love, hugs and kisses your number 1  super mega mega mega mega mega mega mega mega mega mega mega fan,

This is me in Mexico! Ay Carumba, no?

Hola mamacita! You’re not the only one with a case of the green-eyed monster. It’s true- Kristen really does play Bella in real life too. She falls a lot, she puts fish fry on everything. She painted our kitchen cabinets yellow and the other day she ate a dozen eggs herself (you should’ve smelled her gas!)

Latin decent! LUCKY! Although Sometimes I wonder if I come from it too.. I really, REALLY love Tacos. I used to think I was allergic… but now i know I’m not…

Yo quiero Tacos muchos,

mucho mas after the jump! Continue…

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