Open Weekend Post hosted by: Keisha and all our favorite Rob’s

(Keisha welcomes the weekend for us with a special poem about all our favorite Rob’s through the years! Happy Weekend! xo, moon)

Dear Rob,

Why do we love thee?
Let me give you a glimpse in this Ode to RobP.
Let’s start by taking a look at your early work, shall we?
This isn’t in much order but please bear with me.
(Gotta put in THEY’RE NOT BEARS or UC & Moon will kill me!)

You were such a goofy dude as Art in How To Be
And portrayed a great artist when you played Salvador Dali.
You wore a rainbow sweater and again were so dorky
When you were in that movie about teen pregnancy on BBC.
There was that movie where you smoked like a chimney,
Laid around, and the spiders were way creepy.
You were even in a movie about that Potter boy Harry
Was it fun to be a wizard when you played Cedric Diggory?

THEN there was this director named Cougar Cathi
That was doing a movie about a book by Stephenie.
I’m sure you had no clue your life was about to be so kookie
When you were auditioning… on a bed… with a handheld video cami.
You played this “teenager” named Edward C
Did I mention that you were a vampire with a bouffant and were sparkly?!
Who had one fiiiiiiine faux Daddy
Played by none other than Peter Facinelli!
Now females yell “Edward Cullen, Bite Me!”
And scream in your face like they’re all bat-shit crazy.

I, myself, was a little late to the party
But last May I finally saw Twilight On Demand in HD.
For weeks I was glued to YouTube like it was Thursday Night Must See TV
For never before had I enjoyed hearing a grown man giggle and say “Lit’rally”.
I rushed out to Target and bought the Twilight DVD
And for that I have just one word: Commen-freaking-tary!

Now I say things like OME!
And smile when I see Volvos that are silvery.
Just to see your cardboard face I will walk repeatedly
In front of the window display at the mall’s FYE.
I even own an Edward lunchboxie
And trust me, I am not in Grade Three.
I, too, think Hot Pockets are pretty darn tasty
And am waiting for my chance behind a Dumpster with The Pretty.

Your life has been invaded by so much paparazzi
Who will do just about anything to take pics while you’re tipsy.
You sure know how to have a good time with Heine
With your best mates Tom, Marcus, Sam, and Bobby.
I will scour the Interwebs for hours to see
Pics of you in the sacred gray shirt of Stoli.
God forbid you forget to wear a hoodie
Or go outside without your trusted dark beanie.
The jeans had better be button-flied, blue, and holey
And I won’t turn away if you show a little mantie.
I swear your hair tells you “Don’t wash me!”
The girls really swoon when it’s all wild and messy.
Deep down we’re all hoping that you aren’t really smelly
And that we won’t get run off by Dean/Steve, your Security.

Everyone noticed you’re a pretty talented hottie
Especially when you strum your guitar and sing all mumbly.
Thanks to you some now think smoking is again way sexy
And you even have a segment called Robert is Bothered on Jimmy!

We REALLY love when you pose for mags like VF and Gentleman’s Quarterly
Even if you’re picking corn out of your teeth or wearing a horse blankie.
Sad Rob makes us sad and white, button down shirt, skinny tie Rob fills us with glee
But I’m not sure the world got the joke about your “allergy”.

It was time for you to do another movie
So off you went with a DILF to the Van-city.
While you were there you turned 23
And KStew’s life became a little less spicy.
But that had nothing to do with you, right Baby?!!
At least that’s what the execs at Summit try to tell me.

After that wrapped you went to New York City
And shot a somewhat different film called Remember Me.
There’s this guy named Tyler and a girl named Ally
I don’t remember much after the scene with spaghetti.
That’s a big fat lie cause then you get sweaty!
It was a crazy summer; some fangirls got rather fugly
For that I’m sorry and I really hope you didn’t get hit by that taxi.

You went back to the ‘Couve but there wasn’t much we could see
So we all settled in and waited impatiently for the eve of November Twenty.
A movie at midnight was a first for me
And you weren’t even in half of the damn movie!
But a little of YOU is better than none so 4 more times I would see
You in Grandpa’s tweed with a left nipple that’s a little wonky.

Your next project is/was Bel Ami
Which appears to have you with lots of Time comma Sexy.
THIS is full of Box Office WIN, trust Me
And I had no idea that 1890s Paris looked like present day Hungary.
Soon you will be in Cali shooting a movie about watering Rosie
Your love interest has played your Mummy
No, that’s not at all Uncle Rob creepy.
And your competition, even though he was a bad Nazi
In Inglorious Basterds, “That’s a Bingo!” is still pretty damn funny.
Team Rob will become Team JACOB Jankowski
Oh, the irony!!! Or not so much really….

After that… probably…. uhm…. most likely… maybe?
Will be the conclusion of Twilight with BD.
It all depends on what the director can do with CG
Did you know you’re going to have a weird ass baby???
What steps are you taking to become a Daddy?
I mean…. What steps are you taking to learn how to ACT like a Daddy?
Please be careful and get some freaking chemistry
You have no idea how much we are looking forward to Fade to Black Isle Esme.

But before that there’d better be a Leg Hitch in Eclipse we see!
Or the Fandom will revolt on this June Thirty.

Good Heavens this Ode sure is rambly.
And I haven’t even mentioned Pattinson Pant Lady!
In conclusion, Rob, we’d also like to thank Moon and UC
For showing us this acute fondness is not crazy, That’s Normal-cy!
XOXO – Me
But you know me as Keisha when I get all Commenty

Happy Weekend!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Where in the world is the Edward Action Figure – Easter edition

Dear LTR gals (and husbands checking out the history of their wives browsers)-

Little Edward and I went home to Arizona to spend the Easter holiday with the Moon family and to shop too much and eat too much. My mini Edward even got to meet THE Pocket Edward and Lauren from Lauren’s Bite (more on this later). And what Easter weekend would be complete without dying eggs? So me and cousins Lilcrazycow and LondonCalling (a gentleman cousin) spent the afternoon getting art-sy with marble-ing and gold leafing eggs. Why yes we are artistic in all our endevors! Martha Stewart wishes she was from the Moon family and of course Lil E got in on the action…

don’t worry let me get that egg for you with my super human vampire strength…

well we all know about poor Lil E’s lack of strength so he was quite gracious and let LondonCalling help him out

TA-DA! Hey Arizona, how you likin’ da eggs girl? (yes, we’ve spent ALL weekend saying this line in every variation we can think of… and laughing hysterically. We rule!)

Happy Easter/Passover from us here at Letters to Rob and Letters to Twilight!
Themoonisdown

Where else has the Edward Action figure been?

785 Commented

How To Be… hotter than Robert Pattinson?

this is his 'o' face

Dear Rob-

This may sound weird to some ladies out there but sometimes I find you, as Art, (in How To Be) sexier than Edward… now it’s usually a momentary fleeting thought but still find you adorable, I do!

It’s something about that floppy hair and sad voice and puppy dog eyes that really gets me. Oh and the too short pants and plaid jacket. That’s like right down my alley.

So while all the other gals are Swwwwoooooning over Eddie-poo you can come hang out with me in all your Art glory and we’ll play nonsense songs on the guitar together. I just get the feeling that you are more Art in real life than you are Edward… and honey that’s alright with me.

Smooches-
Themoonisdown

sneeky sneeky... crappy cell shot

Ok so I wrote the above lines last Friday thinking I wouldn’t get to see How to Be till I either caught it on IFC or was able to catch another screening at a Film Fest since the Burbank Film Festival was sold out. On a wing and a prayer I put out an SOS on the Twitter and Letters To Rob asking if anyone knew of an extra ticket lying around that I could use cause I simply HAD to see Robert as Art. I was dying for some floppy hair and guitar playing on a Saturday night. And as luck would have it the heavens and Rob shined down on me because the super lovely and sadly very ill London2LA gave me hers! Poor gal was sick and couldn’t make it so she emailed us, we had a great conversation and viola I was on my way.

I sailed into Woodbury University where they were having the Burbank Film festival with seconds to spare and again luck was on my side as I found a seat and settled in to watch the screening and live tweet whatever I could. Before it could begin, however, a girl calling herself the Burbank Film Festival Intern got up to “introduce” the film. Her introduction, however, turned out to be a bunch of thinly veiled digs at the audience. So here I will write her a letter within a letter…

This is how I feel every Monday...

Dear bitchy Burbank Film Fest Intern-

Instead of being “funny” when you told us “in case we didn’t know How to Be was NOT the prequel to Twilight” you just looked like an ass. That was all of us in the audience politely laughing because it was so awkward! And then when you said the crap about there only being 2 guys in the audience you sounded totally condescending to the dudes who were there. Way to keep the people coming back for more! Good job! Less talkey, more filmies!

Please don’t treat the audience like we’re 14 yr olds, because honestly you were probably younger than me.

Scowling girl in the back,
Themoonisdown

PS Oh and your sparkly, gold glittery dress wasn’t cute.

Annnnndd scene!

But seriously though, if you get IFC record that shiz or if they are screening How to Be somewhere near you I highly suggest you go out and catch it cause there’s nothing like seeing a great movie with an awesome score/soundtrack in a theater. Support independent film! Just don’t wear a Twilight shirt, please I beg of you. I was so 2nd hand embarrassed when someone walked by me sporting Hot Topic’s finest. Ugh.  I would give you more of a run down but I don’t want to spoil anything for those who want to remain How to Be virgins. Your v-card is safe with me (thats what she said)!

“I think I’m passive depressive…”
Themoonisdown

PPS Buy this soundtrack! Coming from me that should mean a lot if I do say so myself 😉
PPSS It can’t be said enough another HUGE thanks to London2LA, you are radical and I can’t express how appreciative I am of you and passing your ticket along. LOVE YA!

In honor of How to Be this morning’s AM Delight will be the totally awesome How to Be Trailer followed by an extra special surprise from one of your very own after the cut!

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.2317545&w=425&h=350&fv=clip_id%3D1524737%26server%3Dvimeo.com%26autoplay%3D0%26fullscreen%3D1%26md5%3D0%26show_portrait%3D0%26show_title%3D0%26show_byline%3D0%26context%3Duser%3A567692%26context_id%3D%26force_embed%3D0%26multimoog%3D%26color%3D00ADEF%26force_info%3Dundefined]

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A.R.T.- A Robert Tribute

Dear Rob:

Byrdie hoping to see Robbie!

It is true – I just traveled 1000 miles in some wild hope that you would turn up to the San Jose Cinequest Festival’s screening of How To Be.  How very clever I thought I was by calculating the exact dates of your west coast travel:  Feb 22 – Hollywood California – Oscars.  Feb 28 – San Jose California -Cinequest.  March 3 – Vancouver Canada – pre-production for New Moon.  Made perfect timing, perfect sense, and something you would certainly do to help a fellow brit director out, right?  You are just that kind of classy guy.  Even when you unexpectantly zipped off to Japan for a Feb 27 Twilight Premiere hooha, I knew the International Date Line was working in my favor and you would catch that Narita-SFO nonstop flight touching down at almost the same time my little plane from Seattle did on the 28th.  Of course, we would bump into each other at the international terminal where I would promptly bum a ciggie from you outside baggage claim, but that is another story…

Cut.  Exterior scene.  Crowded line queing beneath a flashing marquee.  Inside, I pick the perfect location by the exit door where certainly you and the director would be entering for the Q&A after the screening.  Just like Austin.  Lights dim, film rolling, music starts and there you are:  A.R.T.

I say A.R.T. because this movie was a tribute to all things Robert (A. Robert. Tribute.) – all those quirky things we absolutely adore about you – your alter ego:  shy, awkward, messy, clumsy, bumbling, giggling and just looking to be loved.  All of my favorite scenes reinforced this very fact:  when your girlfriend dumps you a second time in the bathroom, when you crawl in bed with your parents, when you get an erection (yes, ladies, it was in there) and those girls walk away, or when you give yourself a pep talk in the mirror.  You just wanna be loved, and I’m totally up for the job.

Money-shot!

Cut.  Enter director.  Lots of screaming.  No Rob.  More screaming.  Hushed silence.  Director speaks.  Audience asks questions.  Nobody dares to ask the one question we all want to know  – WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH ROB PATTINSON?  Final call for last question.  Brave woman asks the question – WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH ROB PATTINSON?  Crowd goes wild.  Director speaks:  After searching for Art for more than a year, we knew Rob was right for the role because of his uncontrollable giggling. Of course you were.  Who the hell wouldn’t fall madly in love with you the second you started giggling?!? This is what makes you real, Rob, a real piece of A.R.T.

So, let’s see, next trip heading east this time:  May 7 – Vancouver Canada – close local set for New Moon.  May 8 – New York – US Premiere of Little Ashes.  May 10 – Volterra Italy – New Moon European shoot begins.  I’m banking on a 3000 mile trip this time, and I’ll bring the ciggies.

Forever smitten – Byrdie

Um, he gets an ERECTION? That’s a Saturday am Delight right THERE!
But seriously, it wouldn’t be Saturday without an unbelievably hot vid of Rob, so we thought we’d share one Robsessed posted this week. We’ve been loving the girls at Robsessed from afar for awhile and after flirting with them on Twitter this past week, we decided to take the plunge and solidify our friendship yesterday. Rob brings people together y’all (and if he pays any interest to any of you and not me? Well, let’s just forget what I just said about being brought together- you’re going DOWN)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qGHSj-NXME]

110 Commented