Rob’s making a list and checking it twice!

Heeeeeeyyy Guys, it's Santa Rob!! Who's been naughty and who's been nice?

Dear Rob,

Since I’ve been in a tizzy trying to buy the rest of the Christmas prezzies on my list I got to wondering about what’s on yours list to get your family and friends. So we know you don’t go to any shops besides Norman’s Rare Guitars and unless his mom wants a vintage Fender you might want to expand your shopping horizons especially since Christmas (and Boxing Day) is right around the corner! So what IS on your list?

Dick – Regift him a brand spanking new pullover from a SWAG bag you received last year. “Borrow” (for forever) the same pullover from him in 5 years.

Clare – Advanced copy of Country Strong since she has a thing for Garrett Hedlund after seeing Tron.

The sisters – Advanced copy of Country Strong. See above

Your Grandparents – matching Jitterbug cell phones since you’re their official spokesperson and all.

Tom Sturridge – Tshirt with “Bros before hoes” on the front and “no really, I mean it!” on the back

Sam Bradley – copy of “Robert Pattinson’s guide to not creeping girls out when I sing by eye f*cking them till it’s awkward” and a new blazer from Dick’s closet and ONE hoop earring from Clare’s jewelry box.

Bobby Long – a bedazzeled bangs comb and a promise of never to mention his name ever ever again.

Perfect for framing and fireplace hanging

Taylor Lautner – Framed 16×20 of this picture –>

Kristen Stewart – new bearskin rug.

Looks like you’ll be busy this next week Rob, trying to locate rugs and blowing up pictures and writing a book about non-creepy looks. So you better get started I guess and we’ll sit here and watch these 4 seconds of awesome from a Water for Elephants teaser…

I won’t share how many times I’ve watched it.

Happy last minute Xmas shopping!
Themoonisdown

Who did Rob leave off his list? What should he get for Stephanie Ritz? What about Stephenie Meyer? Lots of Stephe/anie’s!

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Rob MIA from Eclipse International Press. Why? He’s got a GREAT reason!

Don't worry about me guys, too busy stuck in this doorway to head to other countries

Dear Rob,

So either you got hella lucky by scheduling a film during Eclipse press time or you have Summit by the balls because you haven’t had to leave my fair city of Los Angeles to travel the world and schlock Eclipse like Taylor and Kristen have. And they can’t give the New Moon excuse of you being more of a peripheral character so you’re not as integral to the press for the movie cause Edward is all up in this one, like a Twihard at a 100 Monkeys show or an LOD-er at a Britpack show, or Ascot Phil in Bobby Long’s biizzzznnnaaaassss. You get the picture.

So I’m gonna go with the latter. You tell Summit how high you want to jump and they say ‘that’s perfect Rob! We’ll send over a fruit basket and keg to your undisclosed location in the woods/hotel/car park of In-N-Out.” Well, work it dude cause the more you stay here in LA the more that gives me opportunities to “run into you” and also it saves me a TON of time because now I don’t have to watch interviewers from Germany awkwardly ask you about your alleged relationship with Kristen and you don’t have to spin it into a story about body odor or male pregnancy. THANK YOU! I truly owe you a lot for this.

I now have a lot more time to pour over the hours of Stephenie Meyer interview tapes or try to figure out how to hack into your parents GPS system so it routes them right to my front door. They’ll have a lot of fun, trust me. I have a bbq grill and enough scrapbooking crap to last 10 lifetimes, what more could a Mom and Dad want?

Who knows what you’re up to cause if you’re not with me or in my presence I don’t want to think about it, cause having you within the same city limits as me and not knowing where you’re at is maddening. Really, what could you be doing? You haven’t been seen anywhere, shooting anything, doing anyone… that is until today when this picture surfaced from a new photoshoot…

If THIS is what you’ve been up to instead of heading off to foreign lands than NEVER LEAVE AGAIN! PLAY ON SIR… PLAY ON!!!!!!

If you haven’t already made this your new computer desktop wallpaper than now is the time… don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Off to find this dried up patch of land with a brooding Rob in it! Peace out bitches!
Themoonisdown

So what’s Rob been up to since we last saw him at Leno? Besides stalking UC and me at the SMeyer interview… How quick did this become your new wallpaper? Why do you think he’s not traipsing the world promoting Eclipse?

New hottness photo from Robert Pattinson Life

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

95 Commented