The gossip and the what if’s of Rob and Kristen breakin’ up!

Dear Rob,

Word on the street (aka Star Magazine or as we call it “The News”) has it that ol Krissy Stew (makes her less intimidating, right?) has been stepping out on you with the Country Strong dude himself, Garrett Hedlund in an effort to make you jeals because according to the gossip hounds you’ve been out acting like a playboy.

Ok, ok… everyone can stop laughing from both those tidbits. Kristen making you jealous…. and you acting like a playboy.

Are we making you jealous yet, Rob? Yet… what about now? Now?

The rumors go that Kristen and Garrett snuck off to The Roxy where they got caught. Yea, caught for bad taste! Let me give you a hint of the types that play at the Roxy: Sam Bradley, 100 Monkeys and Steel Panther. It’s like a less sad version of the Key Club. And THAT’S saying something. So first of all if THAT’S where they’re going you should just pull the rip chord cause you don’t want to be with her, there’s no telling what she would put on a mix tape for you. I’m JUST SAYING! Also, I’d like to think if KStew wanted to make you jealous, Rob she’d come up with something WAY better than the Roxy. I mean she’s working in London right now, she has Tom Stu on speed dial and access to someone who can send her In N Out and paparazzi at her finger tips. If she REALLY wanted to make you jealous I think she’d employ some sort of burger fetish scenario with some dudes and not some cheese ball show at the Roxy

Then we get to the part about you partying like a single guy on the set of Cosmopolis in Toronto. Hanging out on a balcony with a dog and two dudes? Walking from your trailer to set with your burly man guard wearing a fishing vest? Someone should alert Hugh Hefner and Joe Francis because this is the sign of a true player! I sure hope they’re taking notes somewhere.

But can you dance like THIS Garrett Headlund?! That’s what I thought

Before I sound too Robsten-y, and really we all know this is crap cause it is Star (I mean THE NEWS) but WHAT IIIIFFF… GOD FORBID (please don’t kill me Robsteners) what if they, on some crazy world none of us want to live in, cause if robsten ain’t together life isn’t worth living, they break up? What would happen if something like this was REALLY true… what if they weren’t the happy holy family with the dogs and cats and yellow duffle bag and wrist holding that we all love. What would happen if Rob really was doing it up like a single guy in Toronto and he was all disheveled in those pictures because in the hotel room are a bunch of slutty fangirls hookers and what if Kristen really was asking the Tron guy to show her his life disc (that’s probably sexy to a comic book nerd)? All I have to say is I don’t want to be anywhere near a computer or mobile device with any sort of link to Twitter because it will spontaneously burst in flames and tears accompanied by the wailing and gnashing of teeth and probably some maniacal laughing (me and UC).

Nice try Tornado! They’re not scared

Rob, I also ask that if you haven’t devised a break up plan, you, Stephanie, Nick and Dean come up with some STAT because IF this ever happens I might actually fear for you life. Regardless of who’s “fault” it is I will never underestimate a Kristen fan. If you pitted a Kristen fan against a natural disaster I’d go to Vegas with a wad of Taco Bell coupons and bet it ALL on KStew lovers. Their shit is NOT weak. It’s more scary.

So should this awful event ever happen Rob, please activate your panic room (heh see what I did there) or get thee to my house were all LTR girls will ban together to form a human lady force shield of protectiveness while we take turns employing the tactics of the wolfpack by running perimeters around my house. You will be safe… till they figure out how to tunnel in. And they will.

May the lady force be with you…

PS Happy Birthday Momma Moon!!!!!!!

Are you worried for Rob if/when they break up? Is this a totally irrational possibility I’ve made up? Do we think there’s any truth to jealousy and acting single? Also, I’m starting a sign-up who can be on parameters from midnight till 3AM?


Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


102 Commented

Dear Rob, she may be over you

(This makes me sad but here at LTR we like to represent all sides of the fandom, from the recently deflowered to the waning Robsession. We still love ya Rob!)

Dear Rob,

I think it’s officially happened. I think I may be over you.

This is a hard letter to write, as most break-up letters are, so let me give you a little history before delving into the really painful stuff.

He’s king of the world

Let’s back up to 1998. I was your typical high school junior swept away in Leo Mania post-Titanic (you catch that little play on words there, Rob? Swept away? You find that sort of sh*t funny, don’t you?) Okay, maybe I wasn’t exactly typical, persay, but I bet I could have found a Leo contingency who’d have said “that’s normal” about my 8 trips to the theater, my purchase of not only every teenybopper mag with his face on the cover but also the lame-*ss “Making of Titanic” collector’s book just so I could eek out a few more pictures (98 was largely pre-internet for me – how did obsessions survive?), and one precious VHS, yes VHS, tape on which I recorded every single nightly entertainment show segment that even mentioned you. I believe my high school boyfriend’s exact words when he found said tape were “you have a problem.” But it was worth it. I mean that Oprah interview? Where when asked the question about offscreen feelings Kate so diplomatically said “I believe the Rose in me fell a little bit in love with the Jack in him?” Ehem. That is how you respond to that little inquiry from Oprah. So tasteful. No weird male pregnancy comments. Anyway, moving on…

I was obsessed. (Leobsessed?) Twelve years later, Leo barely gets a second look. I mean in that way. I still smile when I hear his charismatic words, but these days I go to see his movies for his acting. Perish the thought… Hell, even my husband finds him to be a respectable actor. (But he doesn’t know about that VHS tape.) I don’t remember what it felt like when it actually hurt a bit to see him with whatever model was on his arm. I don’t remember what it felt like to lose my breath the first time Jack Dawson glanced up at that huge ocean liner.

How does this not spark your love? Ok, I admit it’s dorky

And I fear that you and I, Rob, are heading down the same path. I’ve been worried about this for some time now (and sometimes I get the sneaky suspicion that the girls at LTR are harboring the same fears), but this week it was confirmed. I saw a picture of you in your boxer briefs. And nothing else. You. Half-neked. Boxer briefs. Getting wet. A year or two ago at this time, my week would’ve been shot straight to sh*t. I would have spent an entire day a) staring absentmindedly at that shot b) emailing my fellow Robsessed about it and making lewd puns and c) casting work aside to GET SERIOUS about how I could rationalize a trip to Louisiana to just finally freakin’ meet you and move things forward already. Now? I looked. I appreciated. And I… waited. I waited for that feeling. The giddiness. The shortness of breath. The words “holy effing sh*t” literally falling from my mouth in an empty house/office/whatever the way they used to. Because 12 years post-Titanic, apparently I had barely matured a smidgen. But nothing happened.

Speaking of…. following jumping Rob for the rest

335 Commented

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