Dreams come true with Rob and Nutty Madam

Dear Rob,

You are a dream maker sometimes, my friend. I mean sure, we still haven’t met you (thanks MIKE WELCH!) but that doesn’t mean you don’t traipse around the world making dreams come true while this song plays. Case in point one of our most very favoritest Twifans EVER: Miss Nutty Madam herself. Apparently you too have been woo-ed by her charms, squeals of  delight (The beach!) and disbelief (NO! Jasper, NO!) and insane urge to vlog her every Twilight thought and reaction. She’s pretty much the best and we’ve featured her umpteenth times and wait with baited breath for any video she posts. So to say we were excited when you said this was an understatement…

Dude, I don’t know who you like or whatever but you saying you want to meet Nutty Madam is like the inventor of Hot Pockets or Dino Nuggets or plaid lumberjack shirts or Van Morrison saying he/she wants to meet you! This is like being chosen to meet Stephenie Meyer and talk Twilight with her… it’s a BIG deal.. I just wish I had video of both of us reacting to the news, I had to walk out of my office building at the time because I wanted to shout and high five people… enjoy Nutty Madam’s reaction to hearing you want to meet her:


Though I have a bone to pick with these sTV people since we ALL know Nutty Madam’s reaction to that was as least 20 minutes long complete with her rewatching it like 40 times with various levels of volume and pitch to her voice and breathless exclamations. I don’t know what it is about watching other people’s dreams come true but it makes me REALLY happy and a little weepy… kinda like reading the Tweets and seeing pictures of people meeting Stephenie Meyer when she went to visit Tent City before the Breaking Dawn Premiere. It’s like being a fly on the wall someone’s best day ever.

Sure, she seems nutballs crazy but if you haven’t felt that way at least once during all this you’re probably doing it wrong. Of course our feeling of nutballs crazy is maybe a tad different but still I’ve been there…

Dream do come true yall!!!

What moment in your fandom did you feel nutballs crazy? Did this make you happy for her or insanely jealous?

Source: S TV and Nutty Madam

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18 Commented

Top 7 reasons Rob Pattinson wasn’t at the afterparty

Dear Rob,

We love RonFrom signs bearing your name (“Ron”) to seeing you in action on the red carpet, to being mere INCHES away from your face, Monday night’s Breaking Dawn part 1 premiere was Epic. Of course, what would have been even MORE Epic if Moon was not being “Rob-blocked” by a certain D-list actor when she was doing interviews, but more on that later (as in another day when we have time to edit another video)

Despite not getting to ask you if you’ve ever tried any other animal shape not-real-pieces-of-meat chicken nuggets other than Dinos, or finding out if you prefer to heat them in the conventional or toaster oven, we had a great night. Especially later in the evening when we came up with THIS list after spending 2 hours surveying the party, looking for you in every corner possible (we even looked IN the waterfall):

Top 7 reasons Rob Pattinson wasn’t at the afterparty (Cuz coming up with 10 was wayyyy too hard)

  1. Kristen got really pissed off that you wore blue too & gave you a unibrow with her sharpie.
  2. You heard they weren’t serving Dino-nuggets at the after-party and the spread was a more “grown-up” affair. Cocktails instead of beer? So you went home & threw something in the microwave & popped open a beer.
  3. You heard you lost “best dressed” of the night to Jackson Rathbone & were ashamed to show our face. Guyliner? Why didn’t you think of that?
  4. While in line to get popcorn & your Breaking Dawn souvenir cup before the movie started (you need to complete your set, of course) the ushers came out & announced the doors were being closed & no one else was allowed into the screening. Dean, your parents, your driver & everyone else you knew was inside, so you just hitchhiked home.
  5. They turned you away when you attempted to bring Bear through the doors. You even explained how you had no idea who more than half of the people were who walked the red carpet & you just felt kinda lonely, but they didn’t care. You pointed out Weird Al Yankovich & how much you needed Bear’s protection & even THAT didn’t work…
  6. Saddened that you didn’t get to talk to Moon on the red carpet, you went home to pen a song about your “missed connection.”
  7. You were told you had to check your cell phone at will call & didn’t want to part with your Jitterbug phone. You saw Ashley Greene’s grandpa eyeing it up earlier & didn’t trust that it would be there when you returned.

After getting home with the champagne-giggles, kicking off our shoes, putting on comfy clothes (FINALLY) and covering our war wounds with Hello Kitty band-aids, it was a nice surprise to find THIS video on one of our cameras:

Until next time (oh there WILL be a next time!)

UC & Moon

We had an amazzzzzinggggg time on Monday night. Make sure to get over to LTT today for Storytime! While Rob didn’t confess his love & whisk us away to meet Bear & ask us to vacuum out his sheets before taking us to bed (yes, together), it was a successful night anyway.

We have more stories to share. So stay tuned! Thanks to everyone we met & who encouraged us and made us SO HAPPY to be there! It was amazing to see faces we recognized in the crowd! XO

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18 Commented

Blind Items and Europe are my favorite past time

I do Blind Items instead of crosswords or Suduko

Dear Rob,

I’ve been saying all week how much I loooooove European Rob (minus the goatee). You look great traipsing up and down red carpets in Paris (oh la la I miss it) and Brussels all relaxed like with a one Miss Ashley Greene. Now either the unpasteurized cheese in France has given you a new lease on life or the fizzy water and architecture are doing wonders for you or somethings up. You just have a certain ohhhh I don’t know je ne sais quoi about you this week.

But wouldn’t you know it whilst I was perusing this Blind Item I was sent I came across this little gem… and suddenly I got it…

Blind Item-
“I feel like Ted “Twilight” Casablanca with this one. Seriously, I am surprised he does not have Twilight tattooed on his chest. Anyway, back in the day when the franchise first started filming, this actor was hooking up with this actress who played his sister. Well, what was not known at the time by that actress was that he was also hooking up with another of his sisters who we will call sister #2. Sister #1 disappeared from the picture at some point, but despite everything that has gone on with our actor and another actress from the movie, he keeps going back to sister #2. Apparently they got noise complaints last night in a European hotel because they were so loud in bed.”

So wait, am I brother 1 and you're sister 2? Is this like Sisterwives?

YOWZZZAA! Now, you know as much as I do that we were all doing Twilight math in our heads as we read that one…Cullen brother in Europe… Kellan is off in Indonesia somewhere, Jacky is in LA doing whatever he does… sister #1 disappeared off the scene… sister #2 in Europe… brother involved with another actress from the movie… Brother and Sister #2 both in Europe… WELL WELL… HMMMMM Well yes, I think we have a winner here.

Yea, yea we all know this is a blind item and you have an epic-secret-maybe not- maybe so love affair with you know who but I’d just like to remind you to keep that ish bagged up cause the last thing either of you need to do is add a visit to the free clinic to your calendar. Monday: 10AM: Press junket Noon: Lunch with Agent 12:30PM Try to scratch under table clothe to not draw attention to downstairs “issues” 1PM press event with cast 2:30PM Phoner with Ryan Seacrest 3PM Penicillin shot at the Melrose Free Clinic 4PM Tea with director of next possible film 430PM Another nondiscript scratch opportunity 5PM Tape Conan. UM NO. I’m gonna go ahead and say we’re all adults here (god I hope so) so you can do whatever floats your boat but need I remind you of this handy chart and reminder of what could be… courtesy of everyone’s favorite Uni or High School health office…

Click to enlarge this and scare yourself

Oh look it's the Sexual Exposure Chart! The WHHAA??

Yes, the ol Sexual Exposure Chart! If we take into account just the numbers from the blind item we’re already getting into inkblot/blurrly little people catagory on this thing. Ok, all I’m saying is you could have (allegedly) slept with a Jonas Brother and Anna Lynne McCord and Rachel Even Wood. I’M JUST SAYING. Keep it safe, keep it simple and good on you.

And thus I’d like to bestow upon you my most favorite (and maybe) aptly name celeb couple: RASHLEY!

May you live long and prosper (in the gossip rags)

PS is it awkward for Ashley to stand next to that huge poster of Edward and Bella? Weird.

It’s a blind item! Have some fun! Truth or no truth, finally we’re getting some dirt. And what’s not to love about relaxed top button undone European Rob??? NOTHING! (minus the goatee)

Source: Crazy Days and Nights

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60 Commented

Rob takes it back a decade with a goatee

Dear Rob,

Remember when I said I was like way into your beard and you looked super cute and fluffy and scruffy? Well, you went to Paris and lost your mind (screaming fan events will do that to you) and shaved it into a…. GOATEE. Did you actually step onto a time machine instead of a plane at LAX? Cause hot damn, I’m glad I recently unearthed all those Doc Martens in my closet.

I’m glad you continue to test our limits, how much do we REALLY love you? The goatee reminds me of these kinds of dudes…

Of course when news of your goatee spread UC and I came up with a list of reasons WHY (on god’s green earth) you would shave your beard into a goatee…

Hey Rob I wore this weird teacher's whistle necklace to distract them from your regrettable facial hair choices. You're welcome

1. 90s grunge cover band lead singer
2. Just found out he’s gonna be a dad
3. Doesn’t wanna get laid
4. He really loves the mid 90s is contemplating a “soul patch” next but wanted to work his way down
5. Going to Lollapalooza and is worried about beard maintenance at a festival
6. Is hoping to get a promotion at enterprise rent a car to mid level manager
7. Looking to impress the boss man at his annual insurance convention in Grand Rapids
8. Toyota is running a deal: 1000 cash back on all Sienna mini vans to guys who look like dads. He loves the extra room abd trunk space. Comes standard with navigation. And automatic rear door
9. He read about my recent unearthing of all my doc martens and he thought I might like him more if he looked more crunchy. He told Claire to send him his old flannels and ripped jeans
10. He’s been re-learning his favorite nirvana songs on guitar
11. Next style change: going blonde. Goatee too. Just the goatee!! And maybe some frosted tips. He brought along a box of color and is asking Ashley to dye his hair when they’re in eastern Europe. Feels appropriate. May even grow a euro-mullet… Or slight rat tail.

Clearly, your next facial hair steps on this European tour are soul patch/Flavor saver, dye the facial hair to platinum blond. Shave the soul patch and keep the mustache. Then come back to LA and fit in on the east side. We see your mad perfect facial hair plan. I’m not liking it but I’ll gladly welcome you back to LA with a moustache.

All my 90s love,

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39 Commented

Some Press Advice for Rob

I’m back, but Moon is not. So we’re still on a sort-of hiatus. Plus I have NOTHING to write to Rob! Thankfully you all do!

Dear Rob,

I am writing to you in the hope that this letter will find you before the press junkets and worldwide tours begin for Breaking Dawn pt 1. I have a favour to ask you my lovely. You are a VERY wealthy young man who could solve the global financial crisis single-handed with coins found down the back of your sofa.

I'm not gonna win a BAFTA for this one?

You have the whole world at your feet and the adoration of every woman with a vagina and an imagination (*waving*). Bearing this in mind, could you make a conscious effort to remember the following points before each interview and appearance:

1. It’s ALL because of Twilight.

2. Had Cathy H decided to give the role of Edward to someone she didn’t blatantly fancy herself, you’d be squatting in a damp London basement on a filthy mattress surrounded by fellow directionless, broke, unemployed, middle-classed, bearded young men called Alfie, Bay and Rayban with worrying personal hygiene issues.

3. With reference to points 1 and 2, please show more gratitude to the magicness and stop pretending to be irritated that you have to keep talking about it every year instead of ‘real’ acting roles in which you desperately scramble for the BAFTA award you’ll never win because a, furrowing your brow doesn’t always convey emotion and b, smoking isn’t acting.

4. Stop pretending Twilight is a silly teenage thing for 12 year olds who scream ‘bite me’ at premieres because most of the ones who queue to watch your work and buy the DVD’s are long past 12, have respectable credit ratings, mortgages, pension plans and impressive careers which we’ve used to fund purchases of your dodgy back catalogue. Life for most modern women is unrewarding, harsh and tedious and we visit Robland to help us get through the shit. We’re the ones keeping you in beer, granola bars and rescue dogs. Remember us with affection – don’t judge us.

Bunty you're COMPLETELY right!

5. Look at Taylor Lautner. Forget the meat patties and frightening muscle development on such a small boy and instead look at his gratitude. That kid loves twilight and we LOVE him for it. He had no shame in publicly volunteering his services for the inevitable Jake/Renneessmeeeee low budget, Scooby doo inspired, spin-off series in every interview he’s done since New Moon came out and we want to adopt him because of it.

6. Stop giving your opinion to wardrobe departments. You may know how to dress Robert Pattinson (that’s debatable sometimes) but you haven’t got a clue how to dress a 109 year old Edwardian vampire. Low crotched Karate pants do not rock. Tweed pea coats do. In cynical moments I sometimes wonder if you do it on purpose (“yeah Bill Condom, as the No.1 star of the franchise and the person the fans really queue to see I was thinking that Edward would definitely wear an Easter bonnet during lovemaking scenes. I feel it’s part of his CHARACTER isn’t it Bill…….*snigger*?”).

Please don’t be offended by my letter. Understand that you rock my world to the extent that I feel able to have the conversation that every other follower of your work wanted to have but chickened out because you have lovely hands. Please be aware that should you choose to ignore everything in my letter, I would still marry you regardless as you’re startlingly pretty and I’m not an idiot.

Yours adoringly,
Bunty xxx

Bunty’s so right- what is wrong with us that after all of the above & even if Rob ignored all our advice, we’d STILL want him!?

Ya know how the Rob-love has died down for a lot of people? Some of our favorite bloggers have stopped blogging, Rob’s hair is NOT his most positive attribute & well, it’s been awhile since a photoshoot reminded us that he does actually shower? Yeah. I’m there too. But I know that despite that MANY PEOPLE still love him to pieces (present company included considered LTR is still running) And I want to know WHY. I want to post two-sides of the story. I have one negative view I’d like to feature with a positive view. Will you email yours to me? Or, hey, if you’re only feeling negative- send that through too- I’m sure I’ll be getting more than 1 positive view to post. Keep it short & sweet- nothing too fancy. And include links to any pictures you’d like! THANKS letterstotwilight@gmail.com

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85 Commented

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