Rob’s Summer Vacation!

Summertime and the Rob's are easy!

Dear Rob,

As I was sitting at Comic Con staring at your toupee askew hairdo and wanting nothing more than to straighten it and then sit back down, I got to thinking. What are you going to do after this? You don’t have any upcoming projects to film, Breaking Dawn doesn’t come out for another 4 months (114 days but I’m not counting) and it’s not like you go to TwiCon’s or anything. So what are you doing?! Maybe you’re headed off on a little trip like me. Though I doubt I’ll see you in Kenya (though that would be the best surprise EVER) and I probably won’t see you when I swing through Switzerland for a bit but I bet you’ll be doing something pretty rad…

Here’s what I think you might be up to on your Summer Vacay

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!!!

  • Tour of all the Brewery’s in North America and Europe. You get trashed at the Heineken brewery, toss barrels and break every glass bottle in site while you try to reenact the opening to Laverne and Shirley. They throw you out and ban you from getting within 100 feet of the premises for the rest of your life. You contemplate ending it all right there.
  • You set up a “Man’s Outdoor Trip” where you and the BritPackers go camping and white water rafting. Only all your arms combined are still too puny to row the raft and you all end up over board somewhere around the Grand Canyon.
  • You enter the UK Big Brother house and start an alliance called BritPack, you are immediately voted out by an LTR girl in the house in the sole basis of your lack of creativity and general patheticness of the name.


Bombs awaaaaaayyy!!

  • You start a tumblr to document your trip to all major water attractions in the world to reenact Jumping Rob in an effort to outdo yourself and reclaim top internet meme status.

Who am I kidding you’re currently sitting in Dick and Claire’s basement playing Call of Duty with Tom Stu you never made it to the airport or to any breweries or rafting trips. Enjoy your time off Rob, be productive! Learn a new language, paint me a picture, write US a letter for a change and I’ll see you on the flip flip.

Happy Summer Vacay Rob!

What should Rob do with his time off? Any vacation plans? Yes, it’s true I’ll be away for the next few weeks and will not be blogging. UC will also be taking it easier with a light posting schedule. Of course should anything crazy happen expect us to bust in. Have a letter or want to write a letter to be posted on LTR or LTT? Email us!!!

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24 Commented

Rob’s Hair: Don’t even pretend that “thing” looks good…

Dear Rob,

Call me a “fake fan” or whatever you wish, but I will NOT make excuses for this hair.

This half-hipster-Hilter-Youth, half brain-surgery-survivor-head look was NOT a pleasant surprise when you showed up to Comic Con yesterday:

I can’t tell whether you look more like a dinosaur:

Or like a model in an ad from the 80s encouraging people to visit USSR, re-used today encouraging people to visit Russia:

You even have me believing Robsten MUST be true love because I don’t know how else Kristen could stay with you while your hair is like this:

PSST Rob, I think you forgot to brush your hair or something this morning. People are laughing

It’s such a distraction, and not in a good way, that I could’t even laugh when, after Josh Horowitz asked how you prepared for the famed “Sex scene” you joked you just “Lubed up and jumped right into it.”

You’ll be glad to know Moon said it didn’t look as bad in person. So you better get over to Philly QUICK so I can see that mess in person before I shut down LTR.

Okay there really isn’t a threat of shutting down LTR because it’s just hair & it WILL grow back. But still. Until it does, go back into hiding so I can pretend you just look like this:

Love (yes, still, love),

Am I horrible (no, but his hair is) YES I know it’s for “That movie” but EW.. Dude.. hes worn a hat to Comic Con before… why wouldn’t he wear one AGAIN? Is he PROUD of that look? It’s bad. It’s really bad. You can be honest. This place is safe. Share how you REALLY feel

Missed the craziness? Robsessed has the best pics here:  And by Best, I mean all the pics of Rob’s hair that will make you cry

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

125 Commented

My Comic Con wish… for Rob to BRING IT!

Dear Rob-

I’m about to be at Comic Con tomorrow for the Breaking Dawn Panel (duh), so let’s not beat around the bush… you need to bring it (and leave you know who at home). And by bring it you need to look like this…

Yes, exactly like you at the Twilight premiere in Paris. You hair can totally grow out over night. I believe! Rogain! A wig!
Or this…

Yes, wear the Batman shirt so maybe the Comic Con haters will lay off since Twilight is SOOOOO much more geeky/lame/nerdy/not cool than Spiderman or Comic books or buying collectors edition action figures or getting the autographs of the guy who played R2D2 in Star Wars or Taylor Lautner… Oh wait…

or this…

Hammocks are totally welcome at Comic Con! Just answer questions from the hammock! Invite someone ME to come swing in the hammock with you during the Q&A.

Or this…

Feel free to hire one of the Vanity stylists for the day. Don’t worry just charge it back to Summit and mrk it “Business Expenses” they can take it out of the box office money from Breaking Dawn. The fans won’t mind some of the money from our multiple viewings going to this worthy cause. Pianos also welcome at Comic Con, FYI!

I’d even be alright with this…

I’m totally alright with Cholo Rob as long as there’s a pompadour under that Doyers cap and that vintage black Nova is in the parking lot. *Swoon*

(Charlies, HEH!)

BUUUTTT if you come dressed like this… we will have words…

Chubby sad Dadward is NOT an approved look. EVER. If you come out of the closet looking like the clearance rack at the Men’s Warehouse, go back in and do not return out again until you look like this:


My other Comi Con wish is that no one would ask stupid questions or scream “Robste” before fainting… NONE of these wishes will come true.

Happy Comic Con!

PS Remember when I went to Comic Con last time (1, 2, 3) and chased after the Pattinson Pants lady?!! (then wrote a fake interview) GOOD TIMES! Remember when she turned out to totally get it??!

Anyone else going to Comic Con? If I ask a question what should I ask? What do we think Rob will really show up in?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

76 Commented

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