The gossip and the what if’s of Rob and Kristen breakin’ up!

Dear Rob,

Word on the street (aka Star Magazine or as we call it “The News”) has it that ol Krissy Stew (makes her less intimidating, right?) has been stepping out on you with the Country Strong dude himself, Garrett Hedlund in an effort to make you jeals because according to the gossip hounds you’ve been out acting like a playboy.

Ok, ok… everyone can stop laughing from both those tidbits. Kristen making you jealous…. and you acting like a playboy.

Are we making you jealous yet, Rob? Yet… what about now? Now?

The rumors go that Kristen and Garrett snuck off to The Roxy where they got caught. Yea, caught for bad taste! Let me give you a hint of the types that play at the Roxy: Sam Bradley, 100 Monkeys and Steel Panther. It’s like a less sad version of the Key Club. And THAT’S saying something. So first of all if THAT’S where they’re going you should just pull the rip chord cause you don’t want to be with her, there’s no telling what she would put on a mix tape for you. I’m JUST SAYING! Also, I’d like to think if KStew wanted to make you jealous, Rob she’d come up with something WAY better than the Roxy. I mean she’s working in London right now, she has Tom Stu on speed dial and access to someone who can send her In N Out and paparazzi at her finger tips. If she REALLY wanted to make you jealous I think she’d employ some sort of burger fetish scenario with some dudes and not some cheese ball show at the Roxy

Then we get to the part about you partying like a single guy on the set of Cosmopolis in Toronto. Hanging out on a balcony with a dog and two dudes? Walking from your trailer to set with your burly man guard wearing a fishing vest? Someone should alert Hugh Hefner and Joe Francis because this is the sign of a true player! I sure hope they’re taking notes somewhere.

But can you dance like THIS Garrett Headlund?! That’s what I thought

Before I sound too Robsten-y, and really we all know this is crap cause it is Star (I mean THE NEWS) but WHAT IIIIFFF… GOD FORBID (please don’t kill me Robsteners) what if they, on some crazy world none of us want to live in, cause if robsten ain’t together life isn’t worth living, they break up? What would happen if something like this was REALLY true… what if they weren’t the happy holy family with the dogs and cats and yellow duffle bag and wrist holding that we all love. What would happen if Rob really was doing it up like a single guy in Toronto and he was all disheveled in those pictures because in the hotel room are a bunch of slutty fangirls hookers and what if Kristen really was asking the Tron guy to show her his life disc (that’s probably sexy to a comic book nerd)? All I have to say is I don’t want to be anywhere near a computer or mobile device with any sort of link to Twitter because it will spontaneously burst in flames and tears accompanied by the wailing and gnashing of teeth and probably some maniacal laughing (me and UC).

Nice try Tornado! They’re not scared

Rob, I also ask that if you haven’t devised a break up plan, you, Stephanie, Nick and Dean come up with some STAT because IF this ever happens I might actually fear for you life. Regardless of who’s “fault” it is I will never underestimate a Kristen fan. If you pitted a Kristen fan against a natural disaster I’d go to Vegas with a wad of Taco Bell coupons and bet it ALL on KStew lovers. Their shit is NOT weak. It’s more scary.

So should this awful event ever happen Rob, please activate your panic room (heh see what I did there) or get thee to my house were all LTR girls will ban together to form a human lady force shield of protectiveness while we take turns employing the tactics of the wolfpack by running perimeters around my house. You will be safe… till they figure out how to tunnel in. And they will.

May the lady force be with you…
Themoonisdown

PS Happy Birthday Momma Moon!!!!!!!

Are you worried for Rob if/when they break up? Is this a totally irrational possibility I’ve made up? Do we think there’s any truth to jealousy and acting single? Also, I’m starting a sign-up who can be on parameters from midnight till 3AM?

Source

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102 Commented

What IS Cosmopolis about?

Dear Rob,

It’s time to confess that I literally have no idea what your latest flick Cosmopolis is about. Even worse, every time I write it out, I accidentally write Cosmopolitan- like the drink & female magazine that teaches us “109 ways to please him down there” (I memorized them all, in case you’re wondering)

I don’t know where I was when you went up to Toronto (you’re in Toronto, right? Do YOU even know?) but you were suddenly there & all these pictures started coming out & I was so far behind I haven’t even TRIED to catch up!

I remember when I heard you signed on to Cosmopolis- specifically because Paul Giamatti is in it too & he is Mr. Choice’s favorite. I figured that was BOUND to give you some more credibility with him (sadly, so far it hasn’t) but for whatever reason, at that time, I didn’t click a link or do any research about the film. I think it kinda seemed like people knew a lot about it already- and so I figured eventually someone would fill me in without me having to do the “heavy lifting” of figuring it out myself (I just let you in on my blogging secret- I don’t actually know anything myself- I just surround myself with people who do!)

Remember when Moon asked you what exactly Remember Me was all about (<— click that) and entertained us all SO wonderfully with her guesses based on the pictures leaking from set? I’ll be begging her daily to recreate that letter about Cosmopolis (I will not even attempt to touch her brilliance) but I think of that every time I see a picture from set.

For example: Is Cosmopolis about a “new guy” who moves into the neighborhood with sleek, silky hair and sunglasses we learn are “much cooler” than Rob’s Ray Bans? Is the angst of the story about the fight between the two men about who is the hottest?

Is it about a secret tryst between two male lovers- the boss & the building’s janitor- behind the fire escape at a downtown building?

Is it about a famous celebrity, trying to hide from his fame by going through his life under the name “Eric Packer?” (Which we now officially know is the name they are calling Rob “in secret” on set)

I kinda started this letter with the intention of figuring out what Cosmopolis IS about, but then I had too much fun just looking at pictures & imagining (okay fine, and I got distracted by my neighbor’s offer of a summer solstice drink). But one thing I’ve learned from all the years at LTR is that I’m NEVER alone. and I bet I’m NOT the only one who has NO CLUE what Cosmopolis is about. ANd I’m sure there are the few LTR readers that know EVERYTHING- memorized the imdb page or read the book (is there a book?) or saw the original movie (is there one?) and everything…. Cuz That’s Normal. Both things. And if someone WANTS to enlighten me in the comments today, I’m all ears. But otherwise, I bet we’ll figure it out- eventually. Maybe for once in my Rob-life I’ll be surprised & know NOTHING walking into one of your films, Rob. “WIll there be a sex scene?” “IS Rob an action star?” “Do Rob & Paul Giamatti get it on halfway through?” Only time will tell (or else some commenter will today…)

Loving the surprise, for once,
UnintendedChoice

What about you? Do you know ANYTHING about Cosmopolis? Are you okay with not knowing? Or is it just me not really caring (shh) about this latest movie of Rob’s but being happy that he looks so hot in it?

Pictures from Robsessed, where else!?

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74 Commented

A little Rob picture magic!

Dear Rob,

So I was perusing the interwebs as I do 24/7/365 and once everyone started freaking out about you and Bear (srsly, can we work on that name?) together in a picture I had to click over there. You know me and dogs… it’s like my kryptonite or my drug of choice or just my excuse to talk in weird voices. This is what I saw…

Meh… I can’t really see you and I definitely can’t see Bear and there’s a big sweaty guy over there distracting me…

But then I scrolled around and saw this…

And I thought where are the pictures of you in this Cosmopolis tux and do-me-Moon haircut WHILE hanging out with Bear? I want to see those pictures! I want to matte and frame those pictures… So here’s what I did…

AWWWW cute, right? And then I thought well what if I amped it up a bit…

NOOOW we’re getting warmer…

And then I decided to turn it up to 11…

.

Then I was like why the heck not, let’s go buck wild here!

.

Then shit just got real crazy…

.

I tried to fit this in but I blacked out…

I woke up in a pool of my own drool in a straight jacket. I’m currently being held on a 5150 at Cedars Sinai in LA. Clearly, making this stuff deems me unstable. Or 13 years old. As you can see I think my version of you with a dog is WAY better than that blurry hotel dude who needs a dye job picture… AM I RIGHT??!! AMIRIGHT?!COMEON!

Puppies and rainbows!
Themoonisdown

Did those Bear pictures kinda not do it for you? Did you already make this into a background on your computer? What else can I add to this picture of epic epicness?

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80 Commented

Breaking the Rules…

Dear Rob,

I’m breaking the rules & writing to you today, on the 5th anniversary of my marriage to Mr. Choice. He ran out to buy the 7th Harry Potter for our romantic evening in (don’t laugh) and first stopped to get a haircut. What he told me afterwards just HAS to be shared.

I asked how his hair looks as he tried a new salon. He said he loves it. The place was great. “Rick” (who is not gay) was really cool & offered him a beer when he walked in. He asked what he was looking for & Mr. Choice, who is unlike most men over 30 & has a FULL head of hair, asked what Rick thought. Rick said “World War II.” And that’s what he did. I asked Mr. Choice what in the world that meant- and he said,

I think my hair looks a lot like Paddleston’s hair in Water for Elephants

!!!!!! Oh REALLY??? He hasn’t come home yet, but I’m telling you Rob, Mr. Choice looking like you walking through the door would be the best anniversary surprise:

That’s all I got!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

I’m off to NYC for my anniversary/birthday/wedding of roommate from college weekend! I’ll wave to you if you live close. MOON RETURNS THIS WEEKEND so we’ll be back to our regular ol’ blogging schedule soon! We have MUCH to break down!

In the meantime, have your guys said anything interesting about Rob lately?

I’ll let you know if Mr. Choice’s hair is really channeling Rob’s! XO

Update: IT WAS!

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44 Commented

What Rob does.. while Moon is gone

Dear Rob,

With Moon gone in Europe, I am like a lost puppy- a lion without my lamb (a Bella without my Edward). Moon needs to stop having an amazing time in Paris & come be bored in the US with me.

I was catching up on all you’ve been up to while I’ve been enjoying my little break (also sweating in 90+ degree MAY weather & coming down with a sore throat- UGH) and I just kept thinking about Moon. “What would Moon say!” “Oh- I HAVE to tell Moon about this!” “Moon is going to love that picture.” Sigh…. I’m nothing without my friend.

So I thought today I’d post a few of my favorite pictures & some thoughts that I would have sent to Moon, were she not eating macaroons & meeting handsome French men.

Obviously Rob discovered Gossip Girl during his week or two off & is channeling Chuck Bass on the set of Cosmopolis. Um it’s hot.

New girl for us to hate: the lucky hairdresser who gets to create that part every day (also when did Rob get grandma hands?)

Random picture of the day: Presidential candidate for 2012 Mit Romney & Rob last year. I bet you $100 Rob thought Mit was the host of some daytime game show (I did… oops)

Rob got a new/old  Sweatshirt- and I’ve solidified the piece of clothing I’ll claim as my own if I ever end up as his lover (it looks so comfy!)

Rob got a new DADCASE!!!  Rob got a new DADCASE!!!

MOON COME HOME SOON!!! This isn’t as fun without you!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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138 Commented