Rob’s PG-13 Hands and stuff

Dear Rob,

Yesterday we received the following e-mail for you:

Dear Rob Pattinson,

I know you have probably received millions of letters on this subject, but let me add one more to the pile. You have great hands! Take care of them.

I am not a fanatic, in that I don’t know everything about you, likes and dislikes, hobbies, favorite foods, etc., etc. I don’t write to profess undying love or anything. I am just a fan who would like to thank you and your castmates, for providing several hours of entertainment, which takes me to an imaginary world where I can forget my own worries for awhile. (All in PG-13, too!)

I’m not really sure, but I think she was confessing to fantasizing about you with PG-13 fantasies. I assume that’s stuff like dry humping on the couch with her parents right upstairs. Or you caressing her lady parts over her clothes or something. Or maybe I’m reading it wrong & she’s saying she fantasizes about you and your castmates in PG-13– so you caressing Ashley Greene’s lady parts. Or maybe you & Jackson getting hot & heavy during a lunch break.

Either way she’s right. You do have great hands. So what did I do? Found a couple videos made by people with obvious hand fetishes to celebrate your hands and all the PG-13 fantasies they bring us. SPOILER ALERT– there is an EPIC slow jam in one of these videos:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnh5tpTc18Y]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npecnFii6HE]

And something REALLY special– the 2011 Remake of the first video!!!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IB_PuFUQBo]

Take care of those hands, Rob! Keep them soft & moisturized with your cuticles cut. I don’t want some nasty hang nail, sandpaper-feeling hands ruining my PG-13 fantasies now!

Xoxo,
UnintendedChoice

What sort of PG-13 things would you like Rob to do to you with his hands? Open up a can of spray cheese & lick it off your chest overtop your tank top?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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We love Crazy-people

Dear Rob,

Picture this: Moon & I are chatting on instant messenger late into the night- cracking up over videos posted by Glow Worm (our term of endearment for the craziest Twilight fan who has ever existed) and discussing the complexities of your relationship with Kristen during the 1 hour “Behind the Scenes of the Vanity Fair shoot.”  It was at this moment that we decided the world needed to hear our opinions about the craziness surrounding Twilight and the actors. And we needed a safe place to go fangirl crazy over you.  Thus, our sites were born.

Starting the world’s best blog, we knew the following things: most Twilight fans were crazier than us, sometimes we embarrassed ourselves for joining in the crazy (especially when it came to you) and the only solution to remaining sane was making fun of it all- ourselves included. But we’ve discovered that our favorite thing is when our readers poke fun of themselves and admit to the crazy.  We believe that this admission means one is NOT crazy but is, in fact, quite sane (well, as sane as a person who subscribes to 23 Twilight blogs, writes letters to a celebrity they’ll never meet, spends 10 hours a day reading fan fiction and responds to fake Twilight characters on Twitter can be)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

(Stop asking to see vids of the Glow Worm- we’re so mean to her behind her back that we fear we might end up in hell if we share)

Two of our favorite “crazy” letters arrived this week. Enjoy them. And remember. Admitting your craziness means you’re not actually crazy. We hope…

Crazy turning 30

This is only crazy if you're turning 30. Not if you're 25 and married. Nope

Dear Rob,

I can’t believe it’s come to this….I know I keep saying that I’m turning 30 soon, but I do that because I really think a crisis is going to hit because this is something 30 year olds don’t do: hang up posters of 17 year old movie characters in their bedrooms. But then I thought, oh hell, grown men have swimsuit models hanging on their walls as bachelors so what’s the big deal? Since you’re actually 22 though, Dateline NBC won’t come knocking on my door, so this is a good thing!

But I had today off. I’m suppose to be doing really responsible things, you know like cleaning, laundry, running errands, get my sister’s birthday present, balance my checkbook, you know, the norm. But instead I remain in my pajamas and…..I hang an Edward Cullen poster on my bedroom door.  (First of all I must say I screamed like a school girl in the phone when I called Blockbuster to see if they had these in yet and they told me they did!) I think this classifies as #1 on my list of “Crazy things you don’t normally do but you do because you’re turning 30!”

I wanted to do something that most people do like pierce their tongue (nope, don’t have the balls), or get a tattoo (nope I hate needles) so instead I go back to jr. high and hang up a poster of someone who I can’t stop thinking about daily but will never ever have. Yep! It’s all good though because it’s your sexy face!

However, I may have to take it down late spring because once the humdity comes (you know pre A/C when you have your windows open for a while) the sticky wears off on the tape.  That like, use to happen all the time to my N.K.O.T.B. posters in the middle of the night. I’d hear a loud crash and wake up realizing one fell off the wall and I’d have to get up and make sure Jordan Knight didn’t have a tear on his face. And I would hate for your gorgeous face to get all bent and wrinkled because it fell….that just wouldn’t be good.

Sigh….Rob, Rob, Rob…how am I going to explain this one to my friends, especially the male ones? I’ll say it’s suppose to help with good dreams. 😉

Love you, mean it, Jena

Crazy in Scotland

Hello,

I fear my Twilight obsession is turning me into a Big Fat Liar. I’m from Scotland and encountered T while on holiday in Florida last November/December. I lied to my husband, telling him the books were only available in the US so I could buy all 4 volumes without too much whining. I then lied and said we’d go to see Australia at the cinema, but bought tickets for Twilight instead. Honestly, his gullibility drives me to it.

Once home, I shut myself up in our workroom telling him I had important stuff to do for work, so I could read Midnight Sun undisturbed. He even brought me tea – bless.

-Nancy

Crazy people who are actually crazy after the jump!

Continue…

341 Commented

The Fangirl inside all of us

aw, you shouldn't have!

Dear Rob-

Thank you for turning two relatively sane gals into two squealing, hyperventilating, cell phone clutching, couch jumping, HD TV humping fangirls.

Last night during the Oscars UC and I released the repressed 12yr old fangirls inside of us. At the mere 2 second glimpse of you as you first stepped on to the red carpet I knew my sanity was gone. I was madly dialing UC’s celly who was on her way to her Oscar party and screaming into the phone HE’S WAS ON! OMG HE WAS ON! And she in turn flipped out and made her hubs drive faster so she could make it in time for the red carpet interviews. Ryan Secrest was interviewing Amanda Seyfried and I dial up UC again who had just arrived to their party and i start yelling again HE’S BEHIND AMANDA!! ON THE LEFT!! HE’S NEXT!! And UC is going crazy yelling for them to turn on E! and then FINALLY, you were up and we lost it. Like little girls. We’re talking Beatles era flipping out.

Edward hair is back in full effect!

Now, I’m not saying I’m proud of it but it was genuine and it was real. We were freaking ECSTATIC to see you and you did NOT disappoint.

It didn’t matter that I yelled at my Oscar party crew to rewind your portions so that I could hear and I didn’t mind that every time you were on the screen someone yelled “ROB!” But I DID mind when my brother called you BOB! Ugh. We made a promise here to never call you BOB but apparently not everyone lives by our code of Rob standards. Even family.

So when all was said and done you were fan-damn-tastic and I’m SO glad Mr. Oscar called you up to see if you’d help present even though I did revert to an NKOTB/NSYNC fan because of it. They say the Oscars ratings were up this year and I can’t help but say, COINCIDENCE? I think not!

And now it’s the day after and you’ve already gone and left me here. It’s gray and it’s starting to rain in LA today. Again, COINCIDENCE? I think not! Even LA understands it’s missing a little piece of sunshine!

ZOMG! LTR girls!

Thanks for the squeals and hurry back!

Smooches!
Themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

PS Big thanks to all those who joined us in the official Oscars comment section and of course on the Twitter! That post was our highest commented post in the history of LTR and yesterday was the biggest number of visitors we’ve ever had! High-Fives to all the LTR regulars and BIG welcome to all the newbs! Jump right in, there’s always room for a thousand more!

Programming note: UC and I are currently working to make this a bigger and better experience for everyone. Hang tight we us as we try to make the site even more friendly and community driven! Onward and upward people!

560 Commented

Rob's mailbox is overflowing

Apology time: we’ve gotten TONS TONS and TONS of “Fan letters” for Rob lately (thanks to everyone xo!) and just haven’t had time to post them.  Last night, theMoonisDown and I got together to read over all the letters. (by “got together” I mean chatted on AIM)  Then we (pretend) called Rob to read him the highlights.  He was (pretend) TICKLED with your letters and (pretend) begged us to share them with all his fans PRONTO.  And when Rob demands something, we do what he says. MmmHmm. 

Here are some teaser quotes that had us rollin’:

• I am 27 – old enough to know better, young enough not to care.- Laura A.
• IT‘s a sure thing  (I hope what your IT means is the same as what my IT means)- Vicky B.
• There are no rehab centers for dazzle-abuse– H
• This cougar will take GOOD care of you!- Amber
• I’d stretch that shit out allll day- Anonymous

Rob is Ticklish

Hi Rob,

 Thanks for the song that you wrote… um, yeah, for me.

 I noticed that you giggled at 2:18 — Remember, that was after I tickled you. You’re so ticklish, Robbie…

<3 Laura

Yep, this thing, back in the U.S. NOW

Get your ass back in the U.S.

Rob,

Thanks to the stalking-enabler known as “The Internet,” I’ve fallen into a comfortable routine of checking my Google Alerts over coffee each morning to find how you spent the previous evening. Throughout the day, I can occasionally check on you to make sure you’re still looking fabulous and fully enjoying all that [life] has to offer.

Going out with the girls after work has given me a new kind of rush knowing there’s a chance you’ll breeze into my watering-hole of choice, leaving every female within a 100 ft. radius incapacitated. I’ll spend the whole night trying to find the balance between confidence-inducing-tipsy and speech-impediment-drunk so that when you do show up I can casually ask you to please let me be the ‘random chick’ and all the celeb blogs will point to as we’re seen stumbling out of the bar together at 2AM.

Rob… darling, enough is enough. It’s time to give the people what they want: you. [Come back to the U.S.] There are no rehab centers for dazzle-abuse. 

Love you, miss you, mean it!

– h

Read more after the jump (you WON’T be sorry!) Continue…

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Hi this is reality, have we met?

It's official I swear!

Dear Rob Fans-

http://www.myspace.com/robertpattinsonofficial

This is fake.

DUH.

I mean have you all learned nothing from THE great Facebook debacle of ’08 or from the poor girls over at The Fan Project (protecting the world from fake Robert Pattinsons)? Learn from the ones who have gone before you and got fooled by fake Rob’s and figured out that gulliable really IS in the dictionary… if not I’ve put together this handy little check list that shows you the things that should have tipped you off as to the realness of this myspace…

1. The HUGE “Official Myspace” banner at the top. Cause he had the time or chops to make that? Enjoy the font though, looks familiar. 😀

2. His location is listed as: Beverly Hills, CA. No he does not live in the 90210, I’m sure the 12 yr old who made this thinks that all movie stars live in “glamorous” Beverly Hills. They do not.

3. He has a music player with HIS two songs from the Twilight soundtrack.

4. He has a Giydget and and Eventful for crying out loud… why in the world would the real Rob care what city you want to see him in or to post random Twilight videos and ringtones? If I didn’t know better I’d say ‘Rob’ worked in social media marketing on the side.

5. He “blogs” about that fan contest and then gives out an address to send him fan letters. Attention whore!

7. His profile pic is an official image! DUH!

8. The kicker and the ‘should have known better’ he includes WALLPAPERS and AIM icons of himself

9. His top friends include people like: Selena Gomez and Amanda Bynes and Zac Efron. He is a 22 yr old man not a 10 yr old girl who watches Wizards of Waverly Place

Seriously people. He will never have any sort of social networking site and if he does you will not find it.

Now read a book or something, geez.

Your older, wiser “sister”/fan
Me

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