World Premiere of a new Rob video

Dear Rob,

My grandmother wrote on my Facebook wall (yes, I said that) and said, “Hi UC, I read where “hunk” Robert Pattinson doesn’t shower and is stinking up the set.- thought you’d like to hear that.” Yes. She said that.

I go by a fake name on LTR & LTT and that isn’t because I am afraid to tell our readers my real name, but I’m afraid that people like my grandmother, my dad and my great aunt Ruth will visit this site and send me letters about how they’re “disappointed in me.” I keep my mouth shut when people say inaccurate things about Twilight or judge it unfairly in public (it kills me), and I never EVER talk about you, Robert Pattinson, in public in any way other than to say “That actor Rob-something who is a vampire in some movie and a wizard in another.” I do this because I know that my knowledge about you and Twilight makes me look crazy. So I stay quiet. HOW DID MY GRANDMOTHER KNOW ENOUGH TO SEND ME THAT FACEBOOK MESSAGE (and who is teaching the old people how to use facebook!? STOP!)?

I went on that rant because the video I am about to share made me feel extremely, extremely dirty. Yet that has not stopped me from watching it 3 times in a row or posting it online, despite the fear that my grandmother may or may not know about this site. Some might call me crazy, I just call me awesome.

Premiering: The Rob Crotch Volume 2

Love, UnintendedChoice
(It’s on days like these that I’m glad I have a fake name)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Z8YsWUiwos]

Much love to the magical and talented Carrie who has provided the amazing video for today! See volume 1 here

PS: If one of you is really my grandmother going by a name like “I want to do Rob” or “UCsGma” please fess up so I can be prepared for the next time I see you. Leigh Anne? Is that really you? Or are you my “Mimi?”

*Moon note: i gave my dad facebook “lessons” over t’giving and christmas. he now posts videos of his jeeping trips with his facebook bff’s. even i haven’t gone that far. it is quite humbling. Oh and if Rob’s crotch has spoken to you this morning (you might wanna get that checked out!) you should show your appreciation and reverence by voting for us at the Dazzle Awards! Scroll down to Best Rob Fansite and vote like you mean it!*

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Letter from Rob

Dear UC & Moon,
This is me Robert Pattinson. You are my favorite fansite ever, and I don’t think it’s creepy at all that you write letters to me each & every day. I appreciate the lust that you and everyone on your site has for me and my body. Therefore, all your readers (and all their family members) should vote for you here: Dazzle Awards- Best Rob Fansite

Vote Now Biatches

I solomnly swear to become SadRob if you don't vote for LTR

Tell everyone to scroll down to “Best Rob Fan Site” and vote for you and only you. Let them know that if they vote for anyone else other than you, I will become SadRob and I know how SadRob breaks their heart(s). I’ve been pretty happy up here, hiding in a hole in Vancouver, so it would be pretty difficult to bring out SadRob, but I’d do it if your readers didn’t heed my words. Please don’t make me become SadRob. Pretty Please?

I also contacted my other girlfriend, Lauren, at Lauren’s Bite cuz she’s hot, and she’s been nominated for Top Female Blogger which, duh, she’ll win. But if your readers help her win, I promise to become HappyRob and sing everyone songs in French. If they are especially wonderful I may even give them the french style of kiss.

Did I delight you this Saturday am like I do each and every Saturday? Make sure you check out what James Brown and I have for you this Saturday.

Love,

Your #1 fan
Robert Thomas Pattinson

Just so we don’t get e-mails like Lauren at Lauren’s Bite does, no, this letter is not actually from Robert Thomas Pattinson. It’s from Taylor Lautner. He roleplays that he’s Rob…

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