The (Defamer) dirt

Dear Rob,

Defamer has been loving you (and other Twi-stuff) this week:

• First you were spotted in Los Feliz.
• Then you were spotted at the same time in London (yeah yeah, I told you this yesterday)
• Then you said something that I kinda have to talk to you about. (see below xo)
• Then they talked about Taylor buffing up.

  See? They’re blowing you (and Taylor) up!

Okay, let’s talk about what you apparently said to that girl in your days before Twilight.

“If I could, I’d have a ____ on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long.”

Um, sweetie? What did you actually say to the girl? Because some things come to mind…. and those things aren’t the sweet things that come out of the mouth of the beautiful man (you!) who sings Never Think.

I’m a generally positive thinker, so this is what I’m guessing you actually want to lick:

• a picture of UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
• a little tiny kitty cat
• a big slice of pepperoni pizza
• Jonathan Taylor Thomas (stolen from the comments in the defamer post and too good not to repost here!)

Oh, to be a bird in your cage

If you did happen to say what it sounds like you might have said, I’m willing to forgive you.  My guess is you got drunk with Sam Bradley and he dared you to say it (any insight on this Sam?). Or I know things weren’t going so well for you a year ago- failing career, couldn’t get a date, etc. etc., so maybe you just had a slip-up and thought that’s what girls wanted to hear.

I think you know this now, but just to clarify: most girls don’t want to hear that. (I know, I know.. reading the comments on our site, you’d probably beg to differ that there are a few girls out there that would take ANYTHING you’d say)

Just an FYI for the future, stick to brooding, dazzling & singing next time you’re trying to pick up a girl! Or, here’s a thought, don’t try to pick up any girls. Just wait patiently for me to figure out how to juggle a husband AND you at the same time (without breaking any of those vows I said on 6/2/06)

Love,
me (UnintendedChoice)

What do you guys think Rob actually said?

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