Summit doesn’t “Get” Rob Pattinson’s Attraction

Dear Rob,

I’m gonna go out on a limb here & say that I don’t think Summit understands how hot you are. Sure they “get it” a little bit. They didn’t fire you after the first movie when they had more money to hire a bigger “star.” They understood that you as Edward was a big part of Twilight’s success (and also Buttcrack Santa, may he rest in peace), but it’s become clear to me that they don’t really understand the extent of your good-looks and our attraction to you. Or, at least, they don’t know what to do with it.

Yes, I’m talking about how they turned Edward the hot 17 year old from Twilight (the one success of Cathy Hardi) into a tweed-wearing Grandpa with who constantly sucks on werthers candy in New Moon:

And then in Eclipse they apparently tried to appeal to the German fans & turned you into a David Hasselhoff-clone

And then they did what we all feared when we first read that Bella got knocked-up.. Turned Edward into a “Dad.” I don’t know what job he has specifically, but it’s definitely something in sales.

Is it real estate?

How about used cars?

I’m afraid there’s gonna be a scene in Rio where Edward runs into the Tommy Bahama outlet to pick up a few Palm Tree golf shirts.

Do I need to remind Summit of your attraction, Rob, and give them some ideas for how Edward COULD have looked?

Sad-ward for when he leaves Bella in New Moon:

Bad-ass-ward for when Edward isn’t ABOUT to lose Bella to Jacob in Eclipse:

And then Nesting-ward for when Edward finally gets to lose his v-card, father a cute kid & just “hang out and stuff” or whatever they plan to do for the rest of eternity:

THAT’s the Edward I read when I first read the Twilight books. Summit is gonna get me into the theater either way, but I might just go a couple more times if Edward looks like the Edward of my dreams… (so… you in all your photo-shoots. Sorry- it’s your life now)

XO,

UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Are you as unimpressed as I am with these Edward-in-Breaking-Dawn photos? I’m SERIOUSLY getting a “Salesman” vibe from them….

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