What’s going on here? Rob in LA edition

Dear Rob,

With you back in LA and traipsing around West Hollywood like nobodies looking has given us plenty of new material and it’s been our daily ritual to trade pictures of your latest shenanigans back n forth as we break it down. Just like the good ‘ol days. And today’s no different. Only this time we’re wondering what in the crap you’ve been up to and we think LTR readers have some ideas too… so let’s get started shall we?

So clearly Tom took the paparazzo up on Rob’s offer to let him take as many pictures in 30 seconds if he gave him the flannel. Poor Rob… too bad he doesn’t know TomStu paid the pap off since that flannel completes his killer Halloween costume idea of being the Brawny Man.

Moon: who’s the dude in the toyota driving them??
UC: THAT’S WHAT I SAID younger ben affleck? new friend? Tom’s boyfriend? Kristen’s brother? Kristen’s boyfriend? will we ever know?
Moon: a guy who drove a car up to the back door waiting for one of the bar tenders to get off work, then they jumped in and who was like wtf?! but he drove off
UC: haha yes exactly OR .. it’s a robstners boyfriend coerced with the promise of really good sex to act as a driver and get the goods aka film the back seat make-out session
Moon: and then dump them on the side of the road in a rush to get the video to the girlfriend and onto the internet
UC: his girlfriend is waiting by with a few 80s power ballads to use in the video and bella & edward montages to work in
Moon: and dont forget the roaring fireplace effect
UC: how could i forget!?
Moon: i know… and in reality it really just makes it look like rob/kristen/bella/edward are in a bad house fire
Moon: like this…

Next up…
Remember when you were younger and the cool thing to do was use bleach and rubber bands to make tshirts you thought were cool and in reality you just looked like a hippie or as if you had a big laundry accident. Rob is probably used to having Clare do his laundry so when he tried to do his own laundry for the first time he not only bleach the arm of the sweatshirt he shrunk it in the dryer. Thus the reason he quit doing laundry all together and why everyone thinks he doesn’t shower. Mystery solved!

A big thank you, Rob for actually showing your face occasionally this week and giving UC and I something to blabber about in the mornings like we used to. It’s been fun and educational but we’re still wondering what is going on.

Off to tie dye some shirts!
Themoonisdown

Thanks to our lovely pal Gozde and her girls at Robsessed for always having the goods!

So what do YOU think is going on in these pictures? Give us your takes in the comments!!!

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The Apprehensive Twi/Rob-Spy susses out a possible Rob/Twimom

So it’s happened- for the first time EVER both of us are away & without the interwebs. While Moon is completely disconnected in Africa, UC is only in South Carolina… but her vacation home doesn’t have internet- SERIOUSLY? What kind of freakin’ vaca home 2 blocks from the beach with a pool IS THIS? (Said while Moon is serving selflessly the neediest of children & orphans in Kenya) This week instead of hanging up a “Gone Fishin’ ” sign, we are bringing you some fan letters, some fun & games & a simple week. So rest up as we do too and we’ll be back with you in full-force next week! Oh- pending comments will be approved but slower than usual- Moon has to send me a carrier pigeon from Kenya then I use a morse code to hack into the Pentagon & route their servers to LTRs to approve your perviness. Don’t worry- the president probably won’t see. So rest easy while we’re away. You’re in good hands today- our soulmate Heyyybrother writes you a letter!

Could she be a secret Rob fan?

Dear Rob,
Last weekend, being the good daughter that I am, I went to visit my mom for the afternoon and spend some quality time with her.  Ok, ok… I was really taking advantage of her pool, air conditioning, and laundry facilities since I have none of the above in my apartment, but a little QT with Mother Dearest was an added bonus.  So there we are, sitting by the pool chatting, when the conversation starts to slow down.  I grab my iPod and pick up my copy of Water for Elephants to entertain myself with, when suddenly my mom says “Oh!  They’re making a movie about that book!  Someone…famous…is in it.  I can’t remember who……”  Now, you might think this is no big deal, but my mother is so clueless when it comes to all things pop culture; she has literally no reason to know they’re making Water for Elephants into a movie.  Unless… no, can’t be…

Maybe it’s a fluke?  Maybe she just saw something about it on Access Hollywood while flipping through the channels?  That’s what I thought, or at least hoped, at first… Until later that night when we were watching a certain Harry Potter movie on TV and suddenly she gasps “IT’S EDWARD.”  Crap.  SHE’S A TWI-MOM.  This is bad.  Real bad.  Assuming she is a true blue Twi-Mom, surely I would have noticed this sooner?  … Or would I have?  I don’t live with her, when we talk it’s usually about the latest family dramz, and, quite frankly, I’d sooner talk about sex with her than Twilight.

Is that the special Twilight boxed set I see?

So, instead of doing the sane thing and just flat out asking her if she has a creepy hobby where she spends her time stalking a handsome star younger than her own children, I figure the only option is to do some reconnaissance.  Commence Operation: TwiSpy.

We’ll start with the obvious things first:
– Check the bookcases for books.  Does she have a special Collector’s Edition?  Does she have a extra “lender” copies?  Journals? Movie companions?  Twilight Manga?
– Check the dvd storage knowing full well that she hasn’t purchased anything since “Christmas with the Kranks”, so if she has Twilight or New Moon, she’s already too far gone.  Don’t forget to check inside other, unassuming dvd cases, in the event she’s cleverly stowed her ROBSESSED disc inside The Passion of the Christ.
– Check the closet for a Team Edward t-shirt, excessive plaid, or an abundance of blouses with shoulder pads.

From there, we’ll move onto more obscure things:
– Check her browser history.  Has she bookmarked every Twi-Mom site out there?  Is she a member of the Twi-Mom’s facebook page?  Has she bookmarked a dozen sites with Twilight  Party ideas?  Is there a red bathmat bookmarked on her Target.com wish list?
– Check her iTunes library.  How many soundtracks does she have?  Any Bobby, Marcus or Sam would be a dead giveaway, especially considering she hasn’t playing anything other than Michael Bolton, Yanni, Kenny G, and Clay Aiken in years.  If she has any Brit-Pack music AND shoulder pads, there’s a good chance Janetrigs has drunkenly harassed her one Friday night.
– Check the bathroom to see if she’s switched exclusively to strawberry and freesia-scented products prominently featuring glitter.

Is that your mom over there?

Truthfully, I’m afraid of what I’ll find if I go digging.  There are dark days ahead.  Allow me to apologize now should my mom ever show up on the sidelines of one of your premieres with a glitter-puffy-paint sign declaring her love for the sparklepeen.  I just pray that, if she is a Twi-Mom, she never discovers that I like it too.  It’s only a matter of time before she has us all holding apples for the next Christmas picture.  In which case, the next site you’ll see me on will be AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

The Apprehensive TwySpy,
HeyyyBrother

Are you following our awesome contributors? Well you better be following Heyyybrother after you read today!

And yes, that is my (moon’s) mother up there in that puffy paint shirt, you’ll remember her letter here. Have you had to become a Twi or Rob spy to suss out a friend or family member’s true allegiance?

and you know what…. even though LTR will STILL be around this week, why NOT hang a “Gone Fishin'” Sign? Especially if it looks like this:

Submit your While Moon was Gone entries!

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68 Commented

Dancin’ in the street with the Paparazzi and respecting Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

Paparazzi videos usually don’t make me sad but that one definitely did. I don’t know if it’s your sad panda face when you stop the car for the billionth time, the way the engine wheezed thudded to life making it sound like your morning smokers hack or the fact that it’s Sunday night and tomorrow I have to go back to work, but whatever it is that video made me a little sad for you.

Sure, in the grand scheme of things you don’t have it rough at all and some lame dudes with cameras following you around is annoying and a bit of a safety hazard at best. I have to remember you get paid a LOT of money and this is one of those unfortunate side effects that comes with being stupidly rich and famous and good looking.

BUT I do admire your chutzpa in stopping the car and trying to wait them out. Though you know they’ll take pictures and ask you stupid stuff about the loquat crumble recipe and call you “Edward” as long as you let them. So it was a flawed attempt at using logic on the paparazzi, they don’t work that way, sadly. Even when you tried to reason telling them they’d taken “millions of pictures” and that should be enough. It should Rob, it should! But why do they want more? Are they waiting for Kristen to meet you in the parking lot of a fireplace store? Or are they hoping to catch you and John Stamos hanging out at Bob Saget’s house again?  It makes me wonder how long you stood out there, in the middle of the street waiting for them to leave you alone, then talking to cops and then most bizarrely talking to that girl about the cars or the Kardashians? I couldn’t tell. Whatever it is that was the most odd part of the evening.

But what can we do as fans? We’ve already been hit up by some emails saying that the respect Rob campaign should be started up again. What were we doing since the last supposed “bad” paparazzi run in that prompted the respect stuff? Disrespecting you? (Nice and slow, right Freya?) Ok, ok just on the occasional Friday when we drop some Rob Porn on the ladies. But really, should we be boycotting mags and their sites and telling people we’re “proud to be paparazzi free?” HALE NAH, cause we love us a good pap picture, without those we wouldn’t have the underwear shopping trip or the wrist holding pic or those blessed Nova pictures from last week? So where does that leave us?

Prompted by your own mid-street stand-in I propose as a way of showing our respect that all Rob fans walk into the middle of the street tomorrow at noon for a moment of silence and sad panda faces in remembrance of your weekend paparazzi show down. Now if we happen to obstruct traffic, or ask your coworker to follow you into the street with a point-and-shoot digital camera to reenact the moment or repeatedly get into your busted Kia Sephia and crank the engine than that’s just bonus points. Super fans will go the extra mile to show how much they respect your street side showdown.

In an effort to make this not such a sad video can someone please remix this and add the song “Dancing in the Street” by Martha and the Vandellas so that our new Respect Rob movement will have a theme song and now every time a Rob fan is out drunk Karaoke-ing and this song comes on we all have a moment of silence to let the paparazzi know we will NOT stand for this any long. But we WILL stand in the street!

Now it’s time to start taking photos of ourselves in the middle of the street so we can post them here to show how much we’re REAL Rob fans.

You agree I assume, right Rob? You’ll join us next time Dancin’ in the Street comes on the oldies station in the Nova?

Themoonisdown

Thoughts on the video? Does it make you a little sad and distressed to see Rob out of sorts and annoyed by the paparazzi? Cause it does for me. Who’s going to do a street stand in to show their respect and Rob? Make sure you send us a picture! 😉

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207 Commented

RPattz: What’s in a name

Dear Rob,

I’ve seen a pattern. And it’s that the media calls you by the worst nickname of all: Rpattz.

I CRINGE every time I read of or hear you called that (I do realize the irony in that a simple nickname causes me to cringe as opposed to things I’ve read heard about in Fan fiction like “Rob Pattinson sat reading a children’s book outloud to the kids during story time when his eyes locked with the hot, 40something MILF sitting in the corner, with spit-up on her t-shirt. He asked the weird library volunteer to finish reading to the kids while he took the MILF into the bathroom to get add to her t-shirt mess….”

It’s like those who refer to you as RPattz don’t even know you. I mean, your MOM doesn’t call you that! When she rings you up to check on your health it’s not “RPattz, how is your rash doing? Have you been trying that powder down there that dad told you to use? It’s “Robert- I’ve been concerned that no one is caring for you. I’ve emailed you a spreadsheet with the locations of the 5 nearest CVS pharmacies” or when she texts you about the latest letter on LTR she read it’s not “Rpattz- did ya catch those crazies on that blog about you?” it’s “Rob- you should really heed my advice & look up UC & Moon. They’d make a nice addition to the Pattinson family (Plus they already have t-shirts for the reunion next holiday)” (the Clare of my fantasies is a thorough texter)

Why must the media continually cause me to shudder by referring to you by that awful nickname? Think I’m exaggerating? Hop over to any major media blog (MTV, VH1, E! Online, Extra, etc.) or turn on any celebrity channel and you’ll immediately see RPattz written in all it’s shudderlicious glory or hear a plastic-looking female say “Rpattz” in a whining voice. It’s annoying- and I know you think so too.

Since I know you so well and have known you for so long, I’ve figured out what names you are referred to and when.

There’s Robert- your given name, the one you sign on legal contracts, Twimom’s Edward Cullen underpants and the one the Queen calls you when you go over for tea.

There’s Robbie- Lizzie pronounced it “Wobbie” when she was 4 and had a speech impediment, and from ages 3-5 it was the name of choice from your family (except for Grandma, who firmly believes that by calling you anything other than your Christian-given name “Robert” she is surely damning you to an eternity of fire & brimstone) The only one who still calls you Robbie is that aunt who sells you out to the tabloids. She does it to make it seem like she’s still in with the Pattinson clan. Even though the last time anyone spoke to her was in 1994 when your cousin Billy ate too many hob nobs and threw up on Patty the dog.

I like dogs

Speaking of Patty- that’s a name you were first called by the boys in primary school during a game of soccer. It was printed on your jersey for the next 3 years until you named your dog Patty Pattinson.. and then that just seemed weird.

Hey- call me Claudia

You can’t mention names without talking about Claudia the name your sisters called you when they dressed you up as a girl. Besides the occasional TV reporter who, in prepping for an interview, read that fun fact and thought it was relevant to bring up, two years later, no one calls you that anymore. Unless you count Victoria & Lizzie who, quite often after sensing a girlfriend is about to ask, one more time, if she can see the pictures from the Pattinson family vacation at the lake with you in your swimming trunks, whip out a picture of you in a dress & heels, with blush on your cheeks and say, “No- but I’ll show you Claudia.”

Of course there’s Rob which is a name that has stuck with friends & acquaintances, much to grandma’s dismay. Not formal like Robert, yet not so casual like Robbie, it’s the perfect name for friends and wanna-be friends. Plus one syllable is always easier to scream out during the throws of passion.

Then there’s Roberto which they scream at you at Mexican photocalls and is the reason why all Twihards suddenly love Lady Gaga. She’s singing our anthem- for you.. Not sure who this Alejandro fellow is, but we sure as hell know Roberto!

And the name you’ll be cursed with forever, but is still a gazillion times better than RPattz, Robward. You play Edward. Edward is loved. Therefore you are loved and so you’ll be connected to that character forever. You’ll be in your fifties and have 75 films under your belt and the media will still refer to the good old days when “RPattz was “Robward” “ It sucks. But it’s life. And also the reported 41 million you’re probably going to make from Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2 probably makes it worth it. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m 97.2% sure. Think of all the full dumpsters you can buy to put in your backyard so it’s like you have your own personal mall with 41 million!

You’ll always be Robbie, Robert, Rob, Really hot to me,
UnintendedChoice

SO what do you think? Do you have an RPattz pet-peeve like me? Have you noticed that it’s those who don’t know him “well” who call him that? Notice how NORMAL that last sentence I just wrote was? What’s YOUR favorite name to call Robalicous!?

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157 Commented

Robward, oh Robward…where art thou my Robward?

Juliet explains her Rob obsession in terms we can understand: Robward and the word “ho-baggish.” Preach on sister…

Oh heeeeeyyy there

Dearest LTR,

I am a newbie to the Twilight “religion” (cherry popped in February of this year), and a lurker on your site and am so thankful I have found you because over the course of the last 5 months I have found that not only has the series consumed my entire being, but so has Robward. Yes that’s right, Robward. I have found that I can’t love one without the other therefore in my mind I had to morph them into a single beautiful being.

The reason that I can’t love one without the other is simple, to love only Rob would mean that I am into a quirky man who is in fact sexy in his own right, but owns only one pair of pants that he sags (see recent pics of surprising theater goers below),

wears shoes without laces or socks (see recent twitpic you posted of him outside of sambradly show),

only washes his hair on special occasions and holidays, smokes 3 packs a day and has the diet of a frat boy living on only hot-pockets and beer. And to love only Edward would mean that I am into a man who may or may not have bi-polar disorder (the Hillywood production of the Twilight parody comes to mind when I think of him to the tune of Katy Perry’s Hot n Cold), can only be described as beautiful because he in fact does “sparkle like diamonds”, he has an intense desire to kill me, and he is so sweet and sappy he make me as a goody-two-shoes-girl look uncivilized and ho-baggish with all his “courting” talk. So with this said, I have morphed them into one beautiful/sexy perfect man.

No socks, with shoes? No problem!

My Robward is everything I expect a man to be, but better. He has a messy side as expected, but showers on a daily basis therefore he smells delicious and not like a trash can and ash-tray, he is exceptionally well dressed like Edward minus the tweed, but has the disheveled hair-do like Rob, only it’s clean like Edwards. He likes pizza and beer, but only on occasion and he knows how to be sensitive, but is not a pansy. He is respectful but has a wild side that tends to come out, and leg hitching, pillow biting, and headboard destruction may or may not take place. He stands up and fights for his girl, but is not pushed around by her or guilted into things, and he is not afraid to tell the world he is in love (in a manly way of course), and does not hide it either because of embarrassment or obligation to a production company (cough…ROBSTEN…cough, cough). He dotes on his significant other, but is also extremely grounded. He has the ruggedness of Rob, but the charm and hygene practices of Edward (although it never does state if they take showers or not. We do know he at least changes his clothes daily).

You just can't resist me and I know it...

So as you can see, I simply can’t just love Rob without Edward being in the mix. Could you imagine loving Rob if he didn’t play Edward? Could you imagine loving Edward if he wasn’t played by Rob, but someone like, Zac Effron? If you saw Rob walking down the street as he is now (or prior to the haircut for Water for Elephants) do you think you would want to run your fingers through his greasy hair or want to take a picture with him knowing he probably hasn’t showered in a week and is wearing clothes he either stole from a set or picked up at a thrift store or pawned from a homeless guy?? We wouldn’t love Zac Effron the same because unfortunately, he was in High School Music and that just makes him seem a little too…metro for my liking. We love Rob as Edward because that’s all we know him as. Of course he was Cederic Diggory in Harry Potter, but who remembers him while he was going through that odd adolescent phase where his head was disproportionately large for his body? We know and love him as Edward.

It is these things that make me think that everyone of us is in fact holding onto our own version of Robward, and that is why we follow his every move, and that is what makes my rationalization “normal”. Because I recognize these things. Right?

Robward is my Romeo,

Juliet

UH DUH Juliet it’s all that stuff, right? All the Rob and the Edward stuff rolled into one. Right? What say you guys? Do you want just the Rob stuff, or is it a little bit of the Edward allure? And seriously can we talk about these new pictures?? Wowza…

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98 Commented