World Premiere of a new Rob video

Dear Rob,

My grandmother wrote on my Facebook wall (yes, I said that) and said, “Hi UC, I read where “hunk” Robert Pattinson doesn’t shower and is stinking up the set.- thought you’d like to hear that.” Yes. She said that.

I go by a fake name on LTR & LTT and that isn’t because I am afraid to tell our readers my real name, but I’m afraid that people like my grandmother, my dad and my great aunt Ruth will visit this site and send me letters about how they’re “disappointed in me.” I keep my mouth shut when people say inaccurate things about Twilight or judge it unfairly in public (it kills me), and I never EVER talk about you, Robert Pattinson, in public in any way other than to say “That actor Rob-something who is a vampire in some movie and a wizard in another.” I do this because I know that my knowledge about you and Twilight makes me look crazy. So I stay quiet. HOW DID MY GRANDMOTHER KNOW ENOUGH TO SEND ME THAT FACEBOOK MESSAGE (and who is teaching the old people how to use facebook!? STOP!)?

I went on that rant because the video I am about to share made me feel extremely, extremely dirty. Yet that has not stopped me from watching it 3 times in a row or posting it online, despite the fear that my grandmother may or may not know about this site. Some might call me crazy, I just call me awesome.

Premiering: The Rob Crotch Volume 2

Love, UnintendedChoice
(It’s on days like these that I’m glad I have a fake name)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Z8YsWUiwos]

Much love to the magical and talented Carrie who has provided the amazing video for today! See volume 1 here

PS: If one of you is really my grandmother going by a name like “I want to do Rob” or “UCsGma” please fess up so I can be prepared for the next time I see you. Leigh Anne? Is that really you? Or are you my “Mimi?”

*Moon note: i gave my dad facebook “lessons” over t’giving and christmas. he now posts videos of his jeeping trips with his facebook bff’s. even i haven’t gone that far. it is quite humbling. Oh and if Rob’s crotch has spoken to you this morning (you might wanna get that checked out!) you should show your appreciation and reverence by voting for us at the Dazzle Awards! Scroll down to Best Rob Fansite and vote like you mean it!*

616 Commented

Hi this is reality, have we met?

It's official I swear!

Dear Rob Fans-

http://www.myspace.com/robertpattinsonofficial

This is fake.

DUH.

I mean have you all learned nothing from THE great Facebook debacle of ’08 or from the poor girls over at The Fan Project (protecting the world from fake Robert Pattinsons)? Learn from the ones who have gone before you and got fooled by fake Rob’s and figured out that gulliable really IS in the dictionary… if not I’ve put together this handy little check list that shows you the things that should have tipped you off as to the realness of this myspace…

1. The HUGE “Official Myspace” banner at the top. Cause he had the time or chops to make that? Enjoy the font though, looks familiar. 😀

2. His location is listed as: Beverly Hills, CA. No he does not live in the 90210, I’m sure the 12 yr old who made this thinks that all movie stars live in “glamorous” Beverly Hills. They do not.

3. He has a music player with HIS two songs from the Twilight soundtrack.

4. He has a Giydget and and Eventful for crying out loud… why in the world would the real Rob care what city you want to see him in or to post random Twilight videos and ringtones? If I didn’t know better I’d say ‘Rob’ worked in social media marketing on the side.

5. He “blogs” about that fan contest and then gives out an address to send him fan letters. Attention whore!

7. His profile pic is an official image! DUH!

8. The kicker and the ‘should have known better’ he includes WALLPAPERS and AIM icons of himself

9. His top friends include people like: Selena Gomez and Amanda Bynes and Zac Efron. He is a 22 yr old man not a 10 yr old girl who watches Wizards of Waverly Place

Seriously people. He will never have any sort of social networking site and if he does you will not find it.

Now read a book or something, geez.

Your older, wiser “sister”/fan
Me

11 Commented