Dancin’ in the street with the Paparazzi and respecting Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

Paparazzi videos usually don’t make me sad but that one definitely did. I don’t know if it’s your sad panda face when you stop the car for the billionth time, the way the engine wheezed thudded to life making it sound like your morning smokers hack or the fact that it’s Sunday night and tomorrow I have to go back to work, but whatever it is that video made me a little sad for you.

Sure, in the grand scheme of things you don’t have it rough at all and some lame dudes with cameras following you around is annoying and a bit of a safety hazard at best. I have to remember you get paid a LOT of money and this is one of those unfortunate side effects that comes with being stupidly rich and famous and good looking.

BUT I do admire your chutzpa in stopping the car and trying to wait them out. Though you know they’ll take pictures and ask you stupid stuff about the loquat crumble recipe and call you “Edward” as long as you let them. So it was a flawed attempt at using logic on the paparazzi, they don’t work that way, sadly. Even when you tried to reason telling them they’d taken “millions of pictures” and that should be enough. It should Rob, it should! But why do they want more? Are they waiting for Kristen to meet you in the parking lot of a fireplace store? Or are they hoping to catch you and John Stamos hanging out at Bob Saget’s house again?  It makes me wonder how long you stood out there, in the middle of the street waiting for them to leave you alone, then talking to cops and then most bizarrely talking to that girl about the cars or the Kardashians? I couldn’t tell. Whatever it is that was the most odd part of the evening.

But what can we do as fans? We’ve already been hit up by some emails saying that the respect Rob campaign should be started up again. What were we doing since the last supposed “bad” paparazzi run in that prompted the respect stuff? Disrespecting you? (Nice and slow, right Freya?) Ok, ok just on the occasional Friday when we drop some Rob Porn on the ladies. But really, should we be boycotting mags and their sites and telling people we’re “proud to be paparazzi free?” HALE NAH, cause we love us a good pap picture, without those we wouldn’t have the underwear shopping trip or the wrist holding pic or those blessed Nova pictures from last week? So where does that leave us?

Prompted by your own mid-street stand-in I propose as a way of showing our respect that all Rob fans walk into the middle of the street tomorrow at noon for a moment of silence and sad panda faces in remembrance of your weekend paparazzi show down. Now if we happen to obstruct traffic, or ask your coworker to follow you into the street with a point-and-shoot digital camera to reenact the moment or repeatedly get into your busted Kia Sephia and crank the engine than that’s just bonus points. Super fans will go the extra mile to show how much they respect your street side showdown.

In an effort to make this not such a sad video can someone please remix this and add the song “Dancing in the Street” by Martha and the Vandellas so that our new Respect Rob movement will have a theme song and now every time a Rob fan is out drunk Karaoke-ing and this song comes on we all have a moment of silence to let the paparazzi know we will NOT stand for this any long. But we WILL stand in the street!

Now it’s time to start taking photos of ourselves in the middle of the street so we can post them here to show how much we’re REAL Rob fans.

You agree I assume, right Rob? You’ll join us next time Dancin’ in the Street comes on the oldies station in the Nova?

Themoonisdown

Thoughts on the video? Does it make you a little sad and distressed to see Rob out of sorts and annoyed by the paparazzi? Cause it does for me. Who’s going to do a street stand in to show their respect and Rob? Make sure you send us a picture! 😉

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Roblosophy: Rob’s Fans – Does anyone love you, Rob?

Do they love me? Do they love me not?

Dear Rob,

On the heels of yet another misunderstood and supposedly mean spirited post (*cough* not at all *cough*) about your costar Nikki Reed and her new mystery tattoo I got to thinking about you. Why when we poke fun and rag on you till the cows come home does no one bat an eye? Why doesn’t anyone stick up for you when we tease you like grade schoolers?

We’ve called you some crazy stuff over the past year and a half, we’ve insinuated (and flat out said) you’re gay on numerous occasions. Then we said you’re asexual. We’ve said you watch porn in a basement with the bff you buy underwear with. We call your dad Dick (we love you Dick!). We keep up the charade that you smell like a junior high boys locker room. We knock your sexual prowess at every turn. And we’ve even posted comics about how your face looks like a foot. And yet no real backlash. No emails calling us hookers who hate men. No tweets about how we’re stupid hags who hate Rob but love Taylor Lautner. No comments about us being jealous of Rob or how we’ve stepped over the line.

I’ll wait while you make this your new desktop wallpaper

And yet we can say one off handed thing about Kristen, or even today we can make up totally FAKE tattoo ideas based on things fans have said about Nikki Reed and the crazies come out of the woodwork to tell us we’re awful people.

Why do you think that is Rob? Do people think you’re a big boy who can handle himself and the jokes we make about you? Do you not have committed enough fans like the Krisbians or even Nikki Reeds lovers (we need to make up a name for you ladies) to have your back for everything, no matter what. NO.MATTER.WHAT.

I can’t begin to believe that’s true. Your fans will do practically anything for you. They build shrines and human shaped Rob pillows with your face on them. If anyone is committed it’s YOUR fans. But why don’t they raise hell for you over the dumbest stuff? Like pretty much everything we say about you. Are your fans too busy making Rob porn or staring at their cardboard cutouts of Edward in the closet (where they belong!) to be bothered by it? Or are they just in on the joke and understand it’s all in the name of good fun? It is the internet after all. This is the place where gopher’s can be famous for throwing some side eye over their shoulder, or where there’s a site totally devoted to awkward family photos. It’s supposed to be ridiculous, right?

Or maybe you’ve proven yourself in public, in interviews,  and at events that you’re good natured and can poke fun at yourself, whereas some of the other people we joke about aren’t quite as comfortable with themselves in a public forum? I don’t really know but I want to know what all YOUR fans think out there. Why is there such a staunch backing and support for people like Kristen and Nikki and some others but when it comes to you it’s anything goes? Riddle me that, Rob. Or rather have your fans tell me.

But seriously, the foot thing? Still makes me laugh,
Themoonisdown

Tell me what you think. Why the outrage when we poke fun at someone else but when we diss Rob, no biggie? What should we call the staunch Nikki Reed supporters?

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