It’s Obvious… yea.

Dear Rob,

I wish I was as tech-y as Lewis and Poindexter and Gilbert in Revenge of the Nerds and had video cameras recording people’s reactions to the sorta-duh-bomb that the GQ article with Kristen just dropped. If Twitter is any indication I sure hope the Emergency Response systems in these tweeter’s cities are up-to-date and well staffed tonight because shiz is getting real crazy. You never know if they’re gonna twirl and flail and tumble right into a wall and knock themselves out.

So now that the “truth” is out (allegedly) do you think everyone can close up shop and go back to their normal lives? The Robsten’s think their work has been “validated” and I’ pretty sure at this point the Nonstens have joined the IDon’tGiveaFucksten camp so can we all go back to liking Rob and Twilight and not caring so much?

Sure, I’m going to miss the popcorn fests that Twitter became so many days when lurid pictures surfaced or grainy enlarged behind the scenes photos turned gifs made the rounds but I’ve been ready to go back to the kinder, gentler days of Twilight circa 2008 pre Robsten drama for some time now.

Why not declare it a new year?!

And like Rosh Hashana last week I’d like to usher in a new year for us all. Back to liking this stuff and not wanting to strangle other fans! Now if only we could get all them embarassing convos, comments, twitter flame wars, confession tumblr’s and videos wiped from the internet for all time in a “this never happened” moment. Please internet gods, make it so!

Happy New Year! L’Shanah Tova!

Ok, so this news came out too late for us to break it down last night but don’t worry we’ll be doing it ASAP! Like probably now… while you’re reading this.

So are we all in agreeance? Even if this is crap can we call it a new year and get back to the l-o-v-e??

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

64 Commented

Rob’s mailbag is getting heavy

Dear Rob,

Tonight my friend Dave was over. This was our conversation:

Dave: What are you doing?
Me: Kicking everyone’s ass in the Dazzle Awards
Dave: What are the Dazzle Awards?
Me: We’re up for an award for our site about Robert Pattinson
Dave: What site? (seriously, Dave? Where the H have you been? Haven’t you wondered where I’ve been for the past few months?)
Dave: Who’s Rob?
Me: (blank stare)
Dave: Is he the one who wrote your vampire book?

Oh the stuff guys say about you! On to your mailbag! Read NOW!


Seriously yesterday you guys BLEW OUR MINDS with the support on the Dazzle Awards. Let’s keep it up! We’re gonna win this one! Vote for us NOW!


The RobQ

The RobQ

Dear Rob,

After patiently crossing off the calendar days leading up to March 24, I arrive at CVS to get a copy of the April GQ. You already know I’m not buying this mag for my husband. Scanning the readers’ aisle, I suddenly see GQ… Justin Timberlake on the cover? NO!!  Wait, it’s only the March issue. But where is the one with the Hottest Man On The Planet gracing the cover?

A nice guy behind the counter looks up as I casually mention,”One of your magazines (I refrain from saying which one) is supposed to hit the stands today, and I was wondering when it’s gonna be in your store?” Innocent enough. He pauses. Then he looks me up and down once, stopping at my eyes. His face now adopts an earnest, sympathetic look, for he already knows which mag I want. He has detected the feverish craving beneath my mask of casual calm – he’s seen it before. He tells me, in a voice like a therapist,”Our truck (or possibly an armored car?) is guaranteed to deliver that issue tomorrow. You can get it then.” Tomorrow comes, and my hyperventilating is mostly manageable as I acquire my hard copy, and it’s all there: the photos, up close & personal, of this gorgeous, sensitive, sexy man…his eyes, lips, hair (and a package to die for, right?)…OH MY ROB! 😀


Hi my name is Rob. Because of me you will have disastisfaction with all other men

Hi my name is Rob. Because of me you will have disastisfaction with all other men

Desperate and Dateless

Dear Rob

Last month I was getting hot and heavy on the couch with a very eligible young bachelor, but cut him off cold and sent him packing halfway through because I wanted to watch you on my grainy, dodgy version of Twilight that I stole from my housemate who bought it off the black market whilst in Fiji.

I have turned down two dates from very handsome young men in the last month because I felt that neither of them could live up to the incredibly high physical standards I now expect in a man, as set by yourself. This is very concerning to both myself and my friends as I have been single for coming up to 8 months now (which may not be unusual to some, but really is when it comes to me, I mean honestly, I’m quite a catch.), and for the last two months it has been by choice due to the below detailed new mental checklist.

New mental checklist when checking out a guy:

  • Does he have a carefree/starving artist unshaven vibe going on?
  • Is he wearing either a) a Dolce Gabbana tux or b) grubby clothes that he’s worn for the last three days straight?
  • Does he have incredibly long fingers?
  • Does he have floppy, untidy looking golden brown hair that looks as though it hasn’t been washed in about 6 months? (admittedly this is very hard look for any other mortal man to pull off, but you do it so well)
  • Does he use said fingers to constantly comb through said unwashed hair?
  • Does he have piercing green/blue/grey eyes that scream “Do me, do me now. I don’t care that we’re in the middle of the Post Office, rip my clothes off and do me in front of the little old lady arguing about the price of sending a set of encyclopedias to her grand daughter in Japan”?

Sadly, none of them did.

But you do, Rob. You do.

Oh Rob. Why do I love you when you torture me so with your un-attainablility?

Desperate and Dateless (thanks to you),

UC note: Carrie told us that this letter was inspired by “your site (and of course by our Lord above, below and in between [the sheets] Robert Pattinson).”

Read more from Rob’s Mailbag, after the jump Continue…

752 Commented

Sad Face!

I'm only sad when you're gone Moon... please come back

I'm only sad when you're gone Moon... please come back

Dear SadRob*-

Please, you have to stop making this face at me I really can’t take it anymore. All day (between meetings) I would look at this pic and was torn between laughing and being sad for you.

It is sooo pitiful, I look at your sad puppy face and I just wanna  give you a BIG hug and feed you cookies at the same time. Cause NO one should look this sad, especially not you.

But I think I have the perfect thing to turn your frown upside DOWN! Well um… we’ll do THAT later but first:

Let’s figure out what you’re really thinking in these pics…


SadRob inner monologue (Saturday morning): “It’s only been one night but I can’t imagine not waking up every morning with Moon on my left and UC on my right… what will I do when we’re not together every night? I guess I’ll just lie here and watch them sleep.”

Oh NO!! The Twimoms found me again! I thought I lost them after I took that sharp turn at the Cinnabon. Damn.


They made me wash my hair and use deodorant before I could put on this suit. Something about it being a loner and worth more than my entire wardrobe. All that work gone to waste… 6 weeks of hair grease down the drain, guess I have to start over now.

Lovin’ you long time… Sadface and all!

*I was forced to name you SadRob after seeing all the Sad face outtakes from GQ*

Thanks to our awesome pal Gozde at Robsessed for these gems! You’ve always got the best stuff!

952 Commented

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