Little Ashes | Letters to Rob

The Tuck

Posted by unintendedchoice on April 1st, 2009

Dear Rob,

I don’t really have much to say. I mean. I have lots to say, but currently the words are escaping me. I’m just gonna let The Quad break it down for you… Vanity Fair style, of course.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: This letter and convo is about the very, um, revealing picture of Rob that surfaced yesterday from Little Ashes. If you are easily offended do not continue. And if you’re not easily offended, are over 18 and haven’t seen THE picture, look at it now. I warned you. I’m warning you. Very Revealing Robert Pattinson Picture

When the picture first came out, The Quad was not immediately available for a group convo. UC had the following two conversations one-on-one:

Friend #1: sorry for the sudden disappearance. After seeing the link Friend #2 sent me…

UC: did you get fired?

Friend #1: I had to run away. I had to cry in a bathroom stall

UC: hahaha. b/c he tucked it. b/c tucking makes us cry

Friend #2: SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! it’s TRUE!!! (sends me link to pic) RUN.RUN.

UC: OH MY GOSH

Friend #2: TUCKED.

UC: oh i cannot believe this is POSTED

Friend #2: i am dying. i am dying. i am dying. his PARENTS and sissies had to see this saturday night

UC: it’s one thing to do nudity

Friend #2: the tuck is the worst. but I will say…he has GREAT pelvic bones. always suspected–that little glimpse of them in the EW cover outtakes.

UC: he looks GREAT

Friend #2: dear God, he TUCKED his peen.

Moon: starting to get links from boys of the tucked pic

UC: from which boys!?

Moon: friends god i wanna look so bad. so i can have a discussion with a boy about it

UC: just DO it. and then save the convo

Moon: thats it???

UC: look at the TUCK and the V and the MUSCLES

Moon: this is gonna be the weirdest movie ever

UC: i know apparently that’s all you see. I asked Gozde from Robsessed. We see ass. and this. no actual peen. DAMN! need the answer to the age old question

*don’t pretend like you don’t know what the age old question is!

And The Quad reunites after 10+ days apart. Read it all after the jump

Continue…

952 Commented

Posted in: Breaking it down "Vanity-Fair-Style", Pictures, Uncategorized
Tags: , Breaking it down "Vanity-Fair-Style", Little Ashes, pubic bone, Rob, robert pattinson, Robert Pattinson naked, salvador dali, The Quad, THE TUCK

GASP… ROBERT PATTINSON IS HUMAN!!

Posted by themoonisdown on March 31st, 2009

I AM HUMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

clears throat, grabs bullhorn, steps up on soapbox

Dear Crazy Rob Fans (the bad ones)-

We’ve all now officially seen “THE TUCK” picture and now 5 minutes later I’m already reading complete nonsense about how this picture is ruining Rob’s image and how he’s fat and has back-acne and his pubes are trimmed. I’ve got news for you psychos…

HE’S AN AVERAGE GUY!!!!!!!

And can we all say a collective “AMEN?” He is NOT Edward with a marble chest, he is Rob, pasty white, somewhat soft in this picture… THAT’S NORMAL! and ya know what? That makes me feel a heck of a lot better about myself cause god knows I don’t look like Megan Fox or have her body and God knows 90% of the Twi-dom doesn’t either! So calm down!

XO, loving you like you are…
Themoonisdown

*bullhorn screeches, steps off soapbox, goes back to spinning records and making out with rob*

PS dont make me pull out those rings of nibelungs pics again!
PPS if you’ve been living under a rock or caught under some heavy furniture check out the pic at our pals Robsessed

617 Commented

Posted in: Pictures, Rob, Rob News
Tags: , body, Edward, fangirls, hot, images, Little Ashes, Megan Fox, New Moon, peen, penis, Pictures, Ring of the Nibelungs, Rob, Rob Pattinson hot picture, robert pattinson, sexy, soapbox, THE TUCK, Twilight

Oh why doesn't YouTube have a slow-mo feature?

Posted by unintendedchoice on March 2nd, 2009

Dear Rob,

Can you help a sister out? I watched this video (minutes 1:56 to 2:05 specifically) 58 times in full screen, pausing on 2:04 every time, took 3 different screen shots and zoomed in as FAR as I could, and I STILL can’t tell if you’re wearing boxers or going commando. Can you let me know? Thanks!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxyJG8Xx-H0]

Love,
UnintendedChoice (oh and theMoonisDown is wondering too. She thinks she broke the zoom feature on her blackberry but is grateful she didn’t total her car while driving down the 101 and attempting to figure out the mystery of “is Rob or is Rob not naked?)

368 Commented