Rob Pattinson: Kiss & Tell

Dear Rob,

I know it’s been over a week: we went on a spring break, Moon had a birthday (go to LTT!) and we got Bin Laden, but I still can’t stop thinking about the Royal Wedding. And, of course, when I think about the Royal Wedding my mind goes something like this:

Kate Middleton’s Dress —> Prince William —-> Balding British Guy —> Non balding British guy —> Robert Pattinson

Jumping Rob Royal WeddingEasy to do, you see. So while I’ve been reminiscing about the wedding, you’ve been on my mind. And my thoughts have been mostly about sex, and more specifically, sex with the rich & famous.

I got to thinking about Prince William & how he met Kate when they were both 19. And it seems like the story goes that they were friends first. So it’s safe to assume they didn’t hook up for a year or two… And I’m going to say that Prince William, despite his thinning hair, still a pretty cute, attractive, in-shape, not to mention rich & powerful soon-to-be-king, got some prior to his 20th birthday and relationship with his now wife. And maybe that was big news in Britain…. but we’re pretty obsessed with the Royals over here, and I don’t remember hearing about it. I don’t remember seeing a headline “FUTURE KING OF ENGLAND LOSES VIRGINITY.” I don’t recall an interview the lucky gal who took his virginity gave to the British version of 60 minutes where she talks about how he lasted a “whole 25 seconds.” And I’ve been wondering why? Is it just a known fact in Britain that if you bang a royal you aren’t allowed to kiss & tell? Does the Queen’s handmaid (she has one of those, right?) show up bedside the next morning with an affidavit you have to sign swearing you won’t say a word? It is just understood that if you’re lucky enough to get in a Prince’s pants (or he in yours) you’ll be respectful and not tell anyone?

I’m not asking you for a copy of the handbook on “Manners for when you bed a Prince” that your sisters probably have stashed in their childhood closets, I’m actually thinking about this in regards to YOU. Why hasn’t anyone kissed & told? Sure you’ve been in a relationship for what seems like a lifetime, but what about before? You were young, hot, rich & up & coming. I know there has to be at least one chick you hooked up with on a whim who excitedly told her friend who told her cousin who told her aunt who told her friend who told her brother who has a contact at a rag mag. How did that news not slip out to anyone?

JumpingRobHat Royal Wedding

(Look Closely)

In fact, besides the high-profile skanks looking to make a quick buck (ala Tiger Woods & Charlie Sheen mistresses) why DON”T we hear about more average, every-day hot girls hooking up with celebrities? I KNOW Justin Timberlake has made some former N’Sync fangirl’s dream come true by letting her go down on him in a high-class LA restaurant (Poor Moon! That’d be the best birthday present). And Ryan Gosling seems like just the guy who would hook up with a nice, average girl he sees at his favorite Silver Lake bar on regular occasions. Why don’t we hear more?

If I were lucky enough to have a one-night stand with the likes of YOU, I would NOT keep that to myself. I’m not saying I’d call my contacts at Lifestyle Mag (ps: I don’t have any), I’m just saying…. My friends would know. Hell, my HUSBAND would know (You are on “The List.” That LIST exists for a reason- I’m allowed to do whoever I put on it, if I have the chance!) And friends, excited that a girl they know saw THE Edward Cullen’s nether-regions, would tell other friends or a co-worker who would tell a family member and on and on and on, and eventually.. someone who writes those rumors in a magazine would publish it. SO why doesn’t it happen more?

Why don’t we know about any other girls other than your girlfriend, ex girlfriend Nina (<— read that) and rumored hook-up with Nikki Reed. Is it possible that that is all you’ve had?

No….. right??

Inquisitive minds want to know,

What do you think? Do you ever heard rumors about every-day girls you KNOW celebs are hooking up with? Did I miss any other lucky girls who had Rob rumors circling around them? Would YOU Kiss & Tell?

Don’t miss Moon’s Birthday Party over on LTT!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

100 Commented

Spring Break 2011 at LTR!

Dear friends of LTR,

We will be taking the rest of the week as our Spring Break to chill out/hang out/work/eat/sleep/celebrate birthdays/see outta towners/get crazy/flash people etc etc etc aka we need a rest.

We shall see you back here on Monday!!!
Moon and UC

PS of course we’ll jump in here if anything insane happens. dur.

Chat it up in our absence, share your Spring Break stories you’d never tell anyone else and tell us if you’d buy a Rob gone wild dvd.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTTThe ForumTwitterThe Store


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Posted in: LTR, Rob
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Stay tuned

Dear Rob,

This is my 2nd post in a week from upon my toilet. (It’s the best place to sit in the am while I wait for my hair to dry).

Just writing to tell you Moon was on her way back to LA last night (to see you, of course, so you better be there) so today’s LTR will be delayed! Give us a break! It’s the holidays!!


30 Commented

Posted in: LTR
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Merry Christmas Eve from LTR and Rob!

Dear Rob,

Let’s join together to wish our awesome readers and your fans a VERY MERRY STUPENDOUS WONDERFUL PEACEFUL RELAXING and SUPER DE DOOPER CHRISTMAS EVE and CHRISTMAS (tomorrow!). What do you say?


Moon and UC

Dear LTR Readers!

Your favorite bloggers and  dirty Brit here to wish you a VERY MERRY STUPENDOUS WONDERFUL PEACEFUL RELAXING and SUPER DE DOOPER CHRISTMAS EVE and CHRISTMAS (tomorrow!). And if you don’t celebrate well then we hope you’re having a swell day also! Just like last year we got together to pose for a Christmas card to celebrate the season…

(Feel free to click to enlarge, print and hang with your family cards! Since you know we’re like family and all…)

We wish you the very best this Christmas and in the new year 2011! Still can’t believe all that happened in 2010 but we can’t wait to see what this next year holds for all of us! Enjoy your holidays whatever you celebrate and hold your loved ones, friends, family, fellow commenters, online soul mates and all the rest close.

We lub ya!

Merry Christmas!!!!
Moon, UC and Rob

PS Rob says to tell you he really means it. He loves you A LOT. Like… a lot, a lot.

Need a little laugh today? Follow the jumping Rob to watch the Christmas edition of Robert Pattinson is bothered from Jimmy Fallon!

68 Commented

When you think of Rob….

Merry Christmas Me

Dear Rob,

Last night I had the extreme privileged of being a part of a virtual Christmas party called “Jewmas” because there were some Jews among us. It was basically a big chat/phone call with a group of friends that I’ve met through LTR. We had secret santas (this is one of my gifts from VickyB to the right – yep that’s you on a bear skin rug offering to make room for me AND Ryan Gosling- NICE) Anyway, it made me happy. And today I found myself looking at pictures from “Esplice”- our trip to LA this summer and just reminiscing about all the times I’ve had with these girls & other LTR/LTT gals and other people I’ve met and everyone that means so much to me. Little did I know that when I first saw you walk into the cafeteria & gasped at your beautifulness that this is what it would become. But it has.  And as another example of what it’s become is down below in the form of a Jumping Rob ornament. Be jealous! (even the Jews without Christmas trees wanted this ornament)

All that to say, it made me really miss the times that we’ve had joint, big chats or long 100+ email threads talking about you. It hasn’t happened in awhile because #1- where the FREAK are you? And #2- life got busy. A lot of people who were obsessed wit you aren’t as much, or they manage their obsession better & keep it to a particular amount of time per day instead of letting it take over their lives (ding ding ding- that’s me!) and #3- it’s hard to find time. I blog late at night- sometimes it’s easier to do it at your own, but it’s lonely. Like are you under the impression Moon & I talk 1,000 times a day for hours on end? Well, we don’t. In fact, this past weekend we did not talk ONCE. I texted her as I was going to sleep Sunday night and commanded me never do that again. It sucked.

I'm the luckiest girl EVER

So today, I thought I’d try to get a little help from my friends. I put the feelers out there asking the question, “What do you, after X amount of months or years that you’ve been obsessing over him, think about Rob immediately when I say his name?”

But first, I get to answer. When I think of you, I immediately think:

-Where ARE you!? Why haven’t you done anything recently to make me laugh or make me gasp at your beautifulness? Are you going too appear in a santa suit to make up for all the time you’ve been missing?

-What’s it going to be like seeing you in Water for Elephants? Will it be good? Will it be like what (in my mind) was a flop like in Remember Me? Will it be totally different that I forget about you as Edward?

-And last, what are you getting Kristen for Christmas? No wait, I really don’t care!) Actually… I do care. Just because… I can’t picture it. You both have a TON of money, so if I were Kristen (a Krisbian just cried) I’d say “Robbie, I want a THOUGHTFUL gift (and also diamonds) and don’t spend a lot (except on the diamonds).” And while I think you could ask your sisters for help handle the expensive gift part, I don’t know about the sentimental. Have you thought about making her her very own Hot Pocket fort? What about making a video reenacting Jumping Rob in all sorts of bodies of water? You could jump in the Silver Lake reservoir in LA, the Pacific Ocean, the Gulf of Mexico, the English channel, your local YMCA swimming pool & there’s a 4 ft pond at my dad’s house that would be a great place for the grand finale! Just some thoughts…


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