We ask unbiased music lovers about Rob’s latest song

Rat tails are sexy

Dear Rob,

It’s about that time…. No not to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. I know you’re gonna get yours and you want to see sweat commin’ out my pores but I gotta put my foot down and end this weird Marky Mark train of thought (this happened and it’s staying) because we need to talk about the new (old) song that was just released by something called Sofa whatever.

Listen to the original:

So yesterday it hits the webs and I immediately text UC since this was like a def con level 5 Rob moment and I couldn’t hit play cause there were over the shoulder hangers on at work and I didn’t want to risk having to explain the clapping/screaming/moaning that could potentially be coming from my computer if I hit play. So like a good internet wifey she started sending me her thoughts… she wasn’t a big fan of it… and of course I have to be devil’s advocate and think it can’t be that bad right? I mean it’s YOU! You could record bunnies frolicking and we’d like it. But UC brought us that THAT is the exact reason it might not be the best thing since sliced bread. We are blinded by YOU and unable to think about things rationally when a hot man is holding a guitar and singing. GUILTY! So at UC’s insistence we edited out the intro with his name, uploaded the song, renamed it something random and I sent it out to a small handful of trusted, good music loving, friends to see what the REAL verdict was.

Hmm will I pass my own blind listening test?

I emailed them the link and only said “give me your honest opinions.”

So clearly, before we start we all realize this is a rough demo type recording, not professional, etc…

Here are some of the responses I got back from my initial email…

First response was from LTT friend/contributor and brother to Moon: The Hatchet

It’s raw and unbridled. It’s clear the heartbreak in the singer’s voice. There’s talent there for rough song. Not necessarily my cup if tea, but I appreciate it.

Who is it?

From ItsintheShoes –

It’s not that great. His voice breaks A LOT. and overall there’s really weak song structure. but you know, it’s not making me stab my eyes out with pencils or anything. Who is it?

Hmmm who to sound like today… Ray… Van.. Ryan.. ROB?

After I told ItsintheShoes it was you and sent her links to Never Think and Let Me Sign (the youtube versions with cheesy pics of you which I told her to ignore) she responded…

aww he’s trying to be Ray LaMontagne! and I will most certainly NOT ignore those photos, Moon. also, I didn’t realize he put this stuff out into the world. ballsy.

Follow the cut to see what happens

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Missing Rob, it’s getting bad, like make a mixtape bad

Dear Rob,

Why must you do this to us? Why must you stay away when all we want to do is love you?! You’ve forced me into a Bridget Jones-esque state of holing up in my house in PJ’s (it’s cold in LA yall!), giving up all vices, and journaling blogging while force feeding myself bacon and leftover Christmas candy on the couch. And instead of watching reruns of Fraiser, I’ve been plowing through seasons of Friday Night Lights while Celine Dion’s cover of “All by Myself” plays and somewhere the goddess of single women everywhere weeps for the loser that I’ve become. But really, there just isn’t anything out there with YOU in it, so what’s the point?

Remember when you gave us the following gems? We laughed, we screamed, we rejoiced, we swooned… but now we’re staring at them and air-drumming to Celin Dion or whatever sad love song we can find…

(click to enlarge any of these)

(sorry youtube/movie studio is lame and this is the only version I could find to embed)

And being apart ain’t easy
On this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy
Of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I’m forever yours…faithfully


For realsies… nothing compares!


Now we’re quoting sad lyrics, and making dumb graphics and embarassing ourselves more than normal so seriously just show your face and we won’t mentioned this ever happened. We’ll stop calling your phone and hanging up, we’ll stop sending bouquets of 2 dozen hot pockets to the set, we’ll stop talking about hot pockets, we’ll even consent to some make up sexy times. Clearly we’ll do ANYTHING to get you back. Just stop playing with our hearts like this.

You saaaaaayyy STAY!

Where is Rob? Don’t state the obvious. Share your sad love song for Rob… and dudes have you seen the new BD pic? Get over to LTT

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

134 Commented

The Notorious R.O.B. – Rapper, actor and white boy lays down the rhymes

Dear Rob,

We know about your love of the Hip Hop and NWA and now you’re saying you convinced yourself when you were younger that you wrote Biggie’s music…

Now, I’m all for some fantasies but for realz? You’re a white boy from London…  nice, middle class London at that, pretty far from Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. But I get it, I love BIG too, Juicy is one of my favorite songs of all time. So I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and take a closer look at some of BIG’s music to see if you really could have in fact written it… let’s take a look shall we, I translate in parenthesis…

Straight outta 8 mile

Big Poppa

To all the ladies in the place with style and grace (HOLLA LTR!)
Allow me to lace these lyrical douches in your bushes (um no.)
Who rock grooves and make moves with all the mommies (TwiMoms!)
The back of the club, sippin Moet, is where you’ll find me (they ran outta Heine)
The back of the club, mackin hoes, my crew’s behind me (no really, Dean/Steve is behind you. It’s part of his contract)

ladies with style and grace? Um DUH that’s us. We also big booty hoes, but he’ll get to that later. I love that he’s calling out Dean/Steve here. Dean/Steve’s got his back like chiroprack. He gets really creative with the next verse…

Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind (you’ve got NO game and possibly cheap!)
And ask what your interests are, who you be with (do you possible like books about vampires? Did you come to this bar with friends you met on twitter or a blog?)
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial (do you have a Jitterbug?)
You gon’ be here for a while, I’m gon’ go call my crew (TomStu)
You go call your crew (LTR girls)
We can rendezvous at the bar around two
Plans to leave, throw the keys to Lil Cease (nickname for Dean/Steve. Cease and Desist you crazy Twihards!)
Pull the truck up, front, and roll up the next blunt (you’re bad at driving, we know)
So we can steam on the way to the telly go fill my belly (Srsly, you’re hungry a lot)
A t-bone steak, cheese eggs and Welch’s grape (Breakfast Hot Pocket Steak and Eggs)
Conversate for a few, cause in a few, we gon’ do (you ran out of stuff to talk about)
What we came to do, ain’t that right boo [truuuueee]
Forget the telly we just go to the crib
and watch a movie in the jacuzzi smoke l’s while you do me (hot tub store shout out, UC!)

B.I.G. or R.O.B.?

And neeexxxttt we have…

Been ‘Round The World

Been around the world and I I I
And we been playa hated [say what?]
I don’t know and I don’t know why
Why they want us faded [ahehe]
I don’t know why they hate us [yeah]
Is it our ladies? [uh-huh]
Or our drop Mercedes [uhh, uhh]
Bay-bee bay-BEE!

This is pretty obvious, it’s a diss track on all the dudes who hate on you and call you Edward Cullen and say shiz about your hair and being a p*ssy vegetarian vampire. They’re haters and it’s because you’re getting mad ladies for ALL over the world! Look at this blog you get more action here on a daily basis than Kellan at a TwiCon.

Now let’s hit probably the most damning evidence of all… my fave Biggie song: Juicy, after the cut

90 Commented

Saturday sing-a-long

Dear Pals-

Here’s a video for your Saturday afternoon from our lovely Rob singing “To Roam”

*edited, they disabled the previous one. screw them i found another!*

Some people were born to roam…
Some people they roam this world alone

(best guess at what he’s singing since i guess he changes it up a lot, according to our dear friend Sam Bradley)

Rob has quite a distinctive voice, dontcha think? It’s quite obviously influenced by what he listens to… who do you think those influences are?

Me (themoonisdown)

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